Ren

"I am feeling like such a horrible mother right now. Megan was just evaluated
this morning by the Early Intervention Team. We were worried about her speech,
she had basically no words until the end of August (turned 2 on August 3), but
her speech is blossoming since then, but it still isn't that
clear...understandable, but not clear."

When I feel badly about something, I examine it carefully. Guilt can be a very good teacher...IF (and only if) we learn what it needed us to learn and let the guilt go.
The fact that she isn't speaking much would not concern me a bit.
My Jalen didn't speak more than single (very unclear) words until the last few months and he's going to be three in Feb. I can see that he is a very intelligent, capable human being. He will talk when/where and if the need arises. He's barely able to put three words together at the prompting of his siblings (they find his gibberish highly amusing) but uses two words a lot now. He is not delayed. He is Jalen. Learning what he needs, when he needs it. And he has the all important "na na" word down, what else does he need!!?:) (that's his word for nursing)

I wish you hadn't had Megan tested...I realize you may not have had a choice, but it just makes you see your child differently and doesn't help them in any way.
It sounds like you have a lot of issues going on in your family right now. I would read a lot of unschooling and gentle parenting books to see if there are areas you could strengthen in your interactions with the children. Beyond that, I think it's time to get a lawyer if homeschooling is going to continue and you want to get social services out of the picture.
It does concern me that there was spanking and such an issue at the doctors office that she felt she needed to call outside help in. I don't think that kind of interaction with your children will help unschooling blossom at all. Have you read "Whole child, whole parent"? An excellent book for any parent, but especially if you're looking to make changes.
It's obvious you love your children a lot. Either there is truth to what these people are saying or there isn't. If not, then stand up for yourself and take a course of action to end all the intrusion. I wish I could give really great advice about how to go about this, but I'm afraid I don't. I do think you need to know your legal rights though.

Ren

Susan Gallien

Don't feel badly about Megan, my son Evan [now aged 28 and very verbal] had a very limited vocabulary at age three, I was so concerned myself that I had taken him for hearing tests believing that he may be deaf. His hearing test came back perfect, and still at three he could only say about thirty words, so his IQ was evaluated and that put him at about 130. So he could hear and he had a well functioning brain and cognitive skills, so what could the problem be?

Well 25 years later I still don't know, he had speech therapy which I believe was mostly a waste of time, I'll never forget his little brother aged 2 helping him with his pronunciation.

Relax, two is very young to be overly concerned, especially since you mention that her "speech is blossoming".

Sue Gallien
The Winona Farm, Minnesota
http://thewinonafarm.com



"I am feeling like such a horrible mother right now. Megan was just evaluated
this morning by the Early Intervention Team. We were worried about her speech,
she had basically no words until the end of August (turned 2 on August 3), but
her speech is blossoming since then, but it still isn't that
clear...understandable, but not clear."




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

zenmomma2kids

>>So he could hear and he had a well functioning brain and cognitive
skills, so what could the problem be? >>

I'm pretty sure Einstein didn't start talking until about age 5.
Maybe it's no problem at all. <g>

I wrote an article about Conor and the testing that showed so many
things "wrong" with him. You can see it here:
http://sandradodd.com/special/mary

Turns out he was just Conor and still is.

Life is good.
~Mary

[email protected]

Our friend Liam is 19 now. He could hardly speak when he was four. He
understood fine, he just didn't talk. When he could talk it was hard to
understand him for a few years.

Liam didn't read until he was in his mid teens.

Now you wouldn't guess at either one.

If he had been in school, he would've been slammed into special ed hell.
He wasn't in school.

He was just Liam.

His biggest disadvantage was having a verbal, bubbly, non-stop-talking twin
sister.

Sandra

zenmomma2kids

>>His biggest disadvantage was having a verbal, bubbly, non-stop-
talking twin sister.>>

Darn those sisters!! <g>

Life is good.
~Mary

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/19/2003 11:12:22 AM Central Standard Time,
susan@... writes:


> Relax, two is very young to be overly concerned, especially since you
> mention that her "speech is blossoming".
>

I agree. My son had a speach "delay" and we went the route of therapy for
him. I don't think it helped him, but I don't really regret it either because
they had some really great toys for him to play with. I think he had to talk
on his own time schedule, not some chart's. At 2 years, 2 months he tested at
the 15 month level and at three years he tested at the 4 year plus level.
Whatever that means to the makers of the charts and tests, it just meant to us
that he decided to talk. Oh, and his year younger sister would often answer the
therapists questions for him while he was busy putting together puzzles they
laid out in front of him.

His memory of therapy at age five? Learning the Five Green and Speckled
Frogs song from Suzi (therapist), Suzi had the best toys and how shocked everyone
was when he played with the boggle junior came and said, clearly, "C A T, that
spells cat." He thinks that's funny. He still doesn't spontaneously spell
cat or read cat, but he figured out what the game was trying to do and thought
he'd let everyone know.

My advice is to relax. Talk a lot to your children, assume they know what
you are saying (they do) and could talk back if they wanted. My worst days were
the ones where I fretted over his speech or, worse, got mad about it. My
best days were listening to him use his own words, or half words, to communicate
and celebrating his advancement. My best and worst days are defined the same
way still, I guess, just in terms of different worries...

OH, and Einstein didn't talk until four or five, as I remember. Didn't utter
a word.

Elizabeth in IL


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

kayb85

My son Luke is 4 1/2 and has a wonderful vocabulary. Problem is,
people outside of our immediate family can rarely understand him.
I'm always translating what he says. He is improving, slowly. He
used to repeat the first sound of every sentence he said "Like Like
Like Like Like this". Now he doesn't do that anymore. I am having
him treated homeopathically and the remedy he's on is one that people
who have unclear speech often need.

This is the same child who still uses his pronouns incorrectly.

I'm glad that my he's not my oldest, because I used to be all school
at homey and probably would have had him enrolled in speech therapy
classes.

Sometimes he's so outspoken that his speech is a blessing. ;) Once
we were at a museum and the museum guide was really talking down to
my kids (You know how sometimes older people talk to little kids as
if they're idiots? My kids hate that.) Well, Luke piped up with "Us
knows how to do it, you stupid man". I held my breath and looked at
the man, who obviously didn't have a clue what he said because he did
the "Oh, yeah", smiling and shaking his head thing that people do
when they don't understand little kids! lol

Sheila


--- In [email protected], SandraDodd@a... wrote:
> Our friend Liam is 19 now. He could hardly speak when he was
four. He
> understood fine, he just didn't talk. When he could talk it was
hard to
> understand him for a few years.
>
> Liam didn't read until he was in his mid teens.
>
> Now you wouldn't guess at either one.
>
> If he had been in school, he would've been slammed into special ed
hell.
> He wasn't in school.
>
> He was just Liam.
>
> His biggest disadvantage was having a verbal, bubbly, non-stop-
talking twin
> sister.
>
> Sandra

Susan Gallien

I think sisters are often a cause of the perceived "problem", all the time that Evan wasn't talking, Lisa [who is two years older than him] was interpreting all of his gestures and sounds with what appeared to be close to 100% accuracy, so he didn't really need to talk.

Sue Gallien
The Winona Farm, Minnesota
http://thewinonafarm.com





>>His biggest disadvantage was having a verbal, bubbly, non-stop-
talking twin sister.>>

Darn those sisters!! <g>

Life is good.
~Mary




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Tia Leschke

>I held my breath and looked at
>the man, who obviously didn't have a clue what he said because he did
>the "Oh, yeah", smiling and shaking his head thing that people do
>when they don't understand little kids! lol

I do that, and more often because I don't understand adults. <g> My hearing
is really terrible when there's noise around me.
Tia

Elizabeth Roberts

Ren,

I don't really see Megan as being any different, she's still herself. The delays may have been there regardless of anything we could have done differently in the past year.

Last night, we went to a Christmas party being thrown by the local WIC office. My oldest found a girl she knows from Brownies and went off to play with her. My son doesn't care for parties, and was terrified of Santa. That's the way he is...he doesn't like crowded situations, loud noises, or people in costumes. I don't blame him really! He stayed by me, and we really got a kick out of watching Megan who seemed to totally be in her element. She waited pretty patiently in line for a two year old I think, then went straight to Santa. She sat on his lap, looked him over VERY careful, touching his sleeve and his beard and poking his nose. Then she smiled really wide and gave him a big hug. She got down, went over to "Mother Goose" (a lady who told nursery rhymes and played her acoustic guitar, both Chistmas and toddler-type songs), and she just ran back and forth between Santa and the other children.

It's been quite awhile since she's been anywhere with more than just a handful of children, so I wasn't sure how she'd do. She went over to MG and sat right down with the other kids. She played "Where is Thumbkin" and then signed "More" and waved her hands as they do in the song with the line about "Family" (we'd begun teaching her a few signs because of her not speaking).

She danced and played, and kept finding little ones just learning to walk and she'd hold out her hand to them and walk with them; if she saw any child upset, she'd walk over and hug them.

I watched her through all this, and I didn't think one second about her "developmental delays" but rather "Wow, what a sweet child I have."

About our family...maybe all of this lately has been God trying to show us where we need to get things together. We've been paying attention, and things are getting better lately. Like I said before, I'm not perfect and I'm not unwilling to admit when I'm wrong. Yes, things were pretty much "just fine" but in some ways (spanking) they weren't; and was "just fine" what we really want things to be - are we being truthful about the way things go - and if not, what needs to change and how?

We're getting there. I have spoken with a lawyer about DSS, and his advice was to play it cool and work with DSS, use it as an opportunity to scrutinize our lives and really see if changes could be made for the better and make any changes. Going up against this doctor could ruin us as a family, he said, because of the way we're "transient" (military)and she's "well established" and "considered the BEST pediatrician between Provincetown and Boston;" regardless of how many people know me and the children and know how well I truly do interact with them. But to use this as an opportunity to take the good things about our family and strengthen them, would be the best "revenge."

Specifically in regards to the homeschooling, he said to continue as we feel is best; we are the parents, and have the right to make the decisions for our children's educations. He wasn't wild about us not using a curriculum, because it makes things difficult to "prove" things, so I'm keeping a log of the educational things she does.

MamaBeth



Everything I need to know, I learned on my own!

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Elizabeth Roberts

I read your article about Conor. Thanks! I have really had to fight thinking about my oldest in terms of her "ADHD" label from the school system and recognize her as she is. LOL I'm getting better...my friend's two oldest children keep bringing up somthing that happened about a week and a half ago.

Sarah got dressed for church in jeans and a tank top, and threw on a jacket over it. We got to church, and she hung up her jacket. The girls FREAKED "OMG, Miss Beth, Sarah's wearing a TANK TOP in the winter and there's snow outside and isn't she cold?!" I looked over at my daughter, standing there with this look on her face like "Am I trouble now?! What'd I do?!" and I just smiled at her, and said "So what?" to the girls. They spit and sputtered and I just said "Sarah is Sarah. If she is fine in a tank top, that's her choice. If she gets cold she'll put on her jacket. I'm not worried about it." I make warm clothes available to her. I'm not going to make an issue out of it if she chooses to wear something else.

Especially when I'd do the same, and have! I wouldn't want to wear a bulky, heavy sweater under a bulky winter coat either.

But still in the back of my mind is this label they've given Sarah...it's quieter now than it used to be...

MamaBeth



Everything I need to know, I learned on my own!

---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Elizabeth Roberts

I did that growing up for my younger brother Jeremiah, who is now nearly completely deaf. It was just natural for me to look out for him. I have noticed that Logan will do this for Megan. They are only 15 months apart in age, and are often thought to be fraternal twins.

MamaBeth

Susan Gallien <susan@...> wrote:
I think sisters are often a cause of the perceived "problem", all the time that Evan wasn't talking, Lisa [who is two years older than him] was interpreting all of his gestures and sounds with what appeared to be close to 100% accuracy, so he didn't really need to talk.

Sue Gallien
The Winona Farm, Minnesota
http://thewinonafarm.com





>>His biggest disadvantage was having a verbal, bubbly, non-stop-
talking twin sister.>>

Darn those sisters!! <g>

Life is good.
~Mary




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Susan Gallien

I loved the article on Connor, thanks for sharing it.


Sue Gallien
The Winona Farm, Minnesota
http://thewinonafarm.com




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 12/20/2003 7:06:32 AM Central Standard Time,
mamabethuscg@... writes:
That's the way he is...he doesn't like crowded situations, loud noises, or
people in costumes. I don't blame him really!

~~~

My youngest is like that. At 10 he's learned a lot of coping mechanisms.
But one of the best things I've ever done for him was invest in a pair of
industrial headphone type hearing protection (huge $12 investment <g>).

I'm reminded of it because he used them again yesterday while he was
vacuuming cat litter that he spilled. I saw him standing there working the vacuum
hose with one hand, right ear to shoulder, left hand to left ear (his typical
loud noise pose). I knew he wouldn't be very efficient and he would tire of it
more quickly like that and there would still be cat litter to be vacuumed when
he was done. So I went and got the headphones and he ended up doing a perfect
job of vacuuming cat litter!

He was also deathly afraid of clowns from about the age of 6 months, and has
never even stood near a live Santa. He's not afraid of clowns anymore, but he
won't have anything to do with them if they're around. He won't go near
Santa because he thinks he's too old for that! But we just adapted to his level
of tolerance and it just never became an issue.

Tuck


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

pam sorooshian

On Dec 20, 2003, at 5:05 AM, Elizabeth Roberts wrote:

> He wasn't wild about us not using a curriculum, because it makes
> things difficult to "prove" things, so I'm keeping a log of the
> educational things she does.

I wouldn't say to social services that we don't use a curriculum - I'd
present a highly advanced cutting-edge curriculum such as this one:
This is an elementary Course of Study which is a revision and extension
that I wrote of Carol Narigon's Unschooling Curriculum combined with
stuff based on on the California State Standards and some child
development stuff that I just made up. There is another document like
this one but for secondary level students, too. Both of these documents
are in the files area of this list and anybody can download them and
use them or modify them for their own purposes. They are Word
documents. Carol's original unschooling curriculum written for her own
family, is on Sandra's website at <sandradodd.com>.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~The World is Our Classroom~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ACME Academy


Course of Study

Elementary Students

ACME Academy is a private full-time day school established in
compliance with the Education Code of the State of California. Because
we believe that the family is the most fundamental social institution
and the preferred means of caring for, preparing, and training children
to be productive members of society, ACME Academy promotes and supports
a family-centered education through our independent study program.

At ACME Academy, independent study, in which children learn primarily
under the immediate direction, guidance, and support of their parents
and other caring and involved adults, offers an outstanding educational
opportunity by providing a natural learning environment, extensive
real-world experience, flexibility of schedule, and the ability to
respond to the specific needs and inclinations of the child. Each ACME
student’s program is developmentally appropriate, integrated and fully
individualized, and continually built upon student strengths and
interests throughout the year.

English: ACME students will develop knowledge of, and appreciation for
literature and the language, as well as the skills of speaking,
reading, listening, spelling, handwriting, and composition.

Students will read from self-chosen or parent-chosen literature on a
regular basis and will engage in reflection on those literature pieces
in a variety of ways, such as: journal writing, book reviews,
conversations, drama based on the books, book clubs. Our educational
goal is for ACME students to read for pleasure, to gain exposure to a
wide variety of genres, and to be able to reflect critically on what
they read.

Students will read content-related non-fiction materials to support
their chosen areas of interest. They will reflect on these pieces in a
variety of ways, such as: journal writing, writing articles for
submission to magazines or newspapers, discussions, or development of a
scrapbook in an area of interest. Our goal is for ACME students to
learn to read critically for information, to understand and be able to
reflect on materials read, to be able to compare them to other sources
of information, and to learn how and where to find written resources as
needed.

Writing, spelling and grammar will be covered as part of ACME students’
natural writing processes. Students will develop their ability to write
creatively, to write letters and lists, to create and write drama
pieces, informational essays, persuasive articles, etc. Our goal is for
ACME students to enjoy writing, to gain expertise in both the writing
process and in technical writing and editing skills, and to develop a
sense of power over the written word

Science: ACME students will develop their knowledge of the biological
and physical sciences, with emphasis on the processes of experimental
inquiry and on the place of humans in ecological systems. They will
relate these to areas of specific student interests by engaging in
hands-on activities, watching science videos, reading related written
materials, conducting scientific experiments, keeping journals, making
and recording observations, visiting scientists in their work places,
visiting local science museums, participating in science fairs and
workshops, and through cooperative learning. Our goal is for ACME
students to experience a wide range of scientific exposure, to develop
a positive interest in science, to learn to think scientifically, to
develop a respect for the work scientists do, and to understand the
importance science has in daily life and in the overall environment.

Social Sciences: ACME students will develop their understanding of the
social sciences and humanities by reading and discussing fiction and
non-fiction materials, participating in field trips to historic and
politically or culturally significant sites, or through discussion and
debate. Anthropology, economics, psychology, geography, history,
political science, and sociology are fully integrated into the students
studies in a wide variety of ways, such as: the use of time lines and
maps, discussion, journal writing, cooking, plays, road trips,
invention building, field trips, and art. Our goal is for ACME students
to develop a foundation for understanding the history, resources,
development, and government of California and the United States of
America; the development of the American economic system including the
role of the entrepreneur and labor; the relations of persons to their
human and natural environment; eastern and western cultures and
civilizations; and contemporary issues including the wise use of
natural resources.
 
Health and Physical Education: Health and physical education will be
fully integrated as a part of daily living skills and participation in
the wider community with an emphasis upon the physical activities that
my be conducive to health and vigor of body and mind. Students will
learn to care for their health and physical environment in a variety of
ways, such as: shopping for and preparing food, discussing the
necessity of a healthy diet, participation in fire drills and other
emergency preparedness activities, exercise both as play and as part of
a structured group experience and through camping, hiking, and other
outdoor activity. Our goal is for ACME students to appreciate the
necessity of a healthy body and to develop lifelong habits of regular
exercise and good nutrition.

Visual and Performing Arts: ACME students will develop their knowledge
of art, music, and drama through informal and structured methods in a
variety of ways, such as: art classes, instrumental lessons, choral
singing, listening to various styles of music, learning about the
people who have influenced music through history, or working on
individualized or group projects that relate to music, art, and drama,
including acting and performing in a variety of venues and genres. Our
goal is for ACME students to enjoy a wide variety of art, music, and
drama experiences, including performance, while developing an
understanding and appreciation of the importance of art, music, and
drama as creative expressions of human life experiences.

Mathematics: ACME students will develop mathematical concepts,
operational skills, and problem solving through participation in daily
real-world activities such as cooking, building, shopping, budgeting,
computing, etc. Mathematics materials will be chosen to support
students’ individual learning styles in order to achieve competency in
operational skills and insight into problem-solving procedures.  Our
goal is for ACME students to gain a strong conceptual knowledge of
mathematics as well as an appreciation for the daily applications of
mathematics in their lives.


Pam Sorooshian
National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.

[email protected]

We registered our home education program for our first child when she
was five. Drawing on my ps background to fashion a sort of chain maille of our
own <g>, I wrote something up to send in with our registration, so it would
be on file if anyone ever questioned us down the road. I called it an
"independent education program" specifically for her, a written plan like a gifted IEP
would be.

I wrote it in educationese but very deliberately from the point of
view of serving HER -- her individual needs and goals -- rather than of serving
the demands or standards of various curriculum areas like science, math and
reading.

This is the big difference in unschooling imo -- it serves the child
rather than the child serving it. :)

I wanted to make it clear we knew what we were doing and why, but also
to spell out that schoolish things could actually interfere with her learning
and thus were purposely being omitted as harmful. We would not be pretending
to do these things because we opposed them as not good for her.

So rather than just having no curriculum or plan, here our written
"Purpose" for dd's independent education program (unschooling):

To recognize and encourage the development of her intelligence,
creativity, insight, humor and special aptitudes and interests, while fostering
healthy physical, social and moral growth;

To sustain a flexible, authentic learning environment that fully
engages her aptitudes and abilities:

To stimulate and challenge her to construct knowledge for herself,
emphasizing inquiry and experimentation, literature and the liberal arts,
symbolism, relationships and the complete range of thinking skills;

To avoid institutional devices such as rigid scheduling, age peer
confinement, basic skills instruction, and remediation;

To free her to embrace her own strengths and to focus on lifelong,
self-directed "education for understanding";

To expand and enrich her educational opportunities in a variety of
special-interest areas, accessing expertise beyond the regular home-based program
to broaden her base of intellectual, emotional, artistic, social and physical
experiences.

(note - this was several years ago. The last bullet was meant for the
permanent record that we didn't want her to just stay home.)

JJ


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Penn Acres

Thanks JJ for this. I save and copy these examples of "written education plans". I find it very enlightening to see them written out. They are not required here in BC nor am I ever questioned by anyone but they certainly are interesting for me.
grace

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

zenmomma2kids

>>I wrote something up to send in with our registration, so it would
be on file if anyone ever questioned us down the road. I called it an
"independent education program" specifically for her, a written plan
like a gifted IEP would be.>>

I really like this. I've saved it for future reference. Maybe I'll
send it to Jon's mother to calm her a bit about her grandson's lack
of education. <g>

Life is good.
~Mary