Stepheny Cappel

I am pondering this thing called raising children lately. Sometimes I think maybe making them do anything at all is no good because then they resent it. I think maybe attitude has alot to do with it. Sometimes when I am cleaning up and I get a little out of control it is certainly because the house is out of control. Like today I wanted to make some hot cereal and couldn't find one, not one measuring cup. After I got done yelling about it, one child found one out by the washer and my son 18 found my one ounce (shot glass) outside, and then my other dd remembered the other glass one was in the fridge with milk in it. (I hung my head in shame, I put it there damn it.)

I made my older kids clean up with me, on Sat. Boy did everyone hate saturdays. I made my ds 18 work so he could learn work ethics. Oh brother. I make myself sick thinking of it.

I started this with the others too. But now I don't make them do anything. I figure that possibly I ask them to do things because I don't feel like it. If I don't feel like it then why should they have to do it. So it goes undone until someone feels like it. If they want a drink they have to rinse out a glass or get the one they already used that day. Mind now this does not work if they have clean glasses in the cabinet, but if all cups are dirty they can find the cup they have been using. LOL.

Attitude must play a role in this too. Maybe because my mom hated housework and passed it off on us, I hate it too, and I don't want to pass this on to my kids. I want them to do it because they want to. I don't want them to do dishes because they are a girl or only work on cars because they are a boy. So the house is relatively messy. And I don't mind most days.

Fact is I'm not sure what gets results for help to do this or that, just that my two oldest girls can keep house, they don't do it the same way, but their houses look nice. They take care of their houses because they want to, and when they come here they don't clean up. They fall right back into the fold of the other sheep and let mom do it. Kind of comforting. I laugh about it. Stepheny


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[email protected]

In a message dated 11/12/03 4:49:22 PM, stephc62@... writes:

<< After I got done yelling about it, one child found one out by the washer
and my son 18 found my one ounce (shot glass) outside, and then my other dd
remembered the other glass one was in the fridge with milk in it. >>

Buy more measuring cups.

Friends of mine got married, and on their first anniversary we gave them an
assortment of Fiskar's scissors. I told them much of marital discord is
fighting over stupid things like where are the scissors or who cut paper with my
sewing scissors, but it's way cheaper to buy more scissors than to go to a
marriage counsellor or get a divorce.

Ditto measuring cups and kids' happiness.

<<Attitude must play a role in this too. Maybe because my mom hated
housework and passed it off on us, I hate it too>>

It could also be genetic. Keeping house is a kind of art. Other arts are
inherited: singing, drawing, building. Probably the ability and desire to
organize and cook are too.
Bummer is while singing is quite optional in life, cooking isn't, so those of
us not born cooks have to learn some tricks. I cook sometimes and not
always. It's sad but I don't beat myself up about it.

Sandra

Stepheny Cappel

Buy more measuring cups.
#####
Yeah I had this one figured out this morning. Will take care of this too. We have the scissor thing going on too, so I buy these often too.
######
It could also be genetic. Keeping house is a kind of art. Other arts are
inherited: singing, drawing, building. Probably the ability and desire to
organize and cook are.
########
This is a point I hadn't figured in but you are quite right. What a relief to think I may have been born this way.
########
Bummer is while singing is quite optional in life, cooking isn't, so those of
us not born cooks have to learn some tricks. I cook sometimes and not
always. It's sad but I don't beat myself up about it.

Sandra
##########
I cook most of the time not because I love it but because it is cheaper than eating out for us. Baking is ok when I feel like it, and I like the goodies. But no baked alaska's.

Stepheny


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Fetteroll

on 11/12/03 7:29 PM, SandraDodd@... at SandraDodd@... wrote:

> Buy more measuring cups.

And put them up where kids can't casually grab them.

Joyce

Stepheny Cappel

> Buy more measuring cups.

And put them up where kids can't casually grab them.

Joyce
Then I need a locked cabinet! I figure I will go to the dollar store and get more than one set, need measuring spoons too, so off I go. For as cheap as I can get them I really was way out of line yesterday. Everyone seems to have forgotten but me. Stepheny


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pam sorooshian

On Nov 13, 2003, at 7:25 AM, Stepheny Cappel wrote:

> For as cheap as I can get them I really was way out of line yesterday.
> Everyone seems to have forgotten but me.

I hate it, too, when I over-react. But, Stepheny, it probably just
means there was build-up for you - other things going on and that was
the last straw. Give yourself a break and just let it be a reminder for
the future to ask yourself if something is worth getting upset over.

-pam
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