[email protected]

<<And she has the nerve to call
my daughter a slut

and to write her off, just like that, after all these years of

supposedly caring for her too? >>
<Sandra writes>
<<<Jealousy and dismay. Lashing out in vague frustration and pain.
Breathe and let it pass.

Her friend won't be impressed with her mother's attitude. Let her see a
better one from you!

Did you help her through a miscarriage of a pregnancy her mom didn't even
know about? If so, you WAY have the upper hand in all things social and
moral,
and you can sleep peacefully.>>>

***********

The funny thing about this is that I got a call from this friend's mother in
the middle of the night, when the miscarriage started, to meet her (the mom)
at the hospital and offer moral support while the d&c was being done. She
didn't need judgement, and I didn't offer it (not that I would have anyway). She
needed someone to hold her hand and let her cry. That's what I did. I find
it disappointing when people can't offer to others what they need -- and take
-- for themselves.

Good advice, breathing and letting it pass, but losing a friendship hurts,
and my dd is hurting too. Just life, I suppose. We are both confident in our
positions on this, though. Not feeling insecure or inferior. It's a blessing
to see my Nikki handling it so well.

Laura B.

[email protected]

>>And you'd put her in the position of having to lie to you about his being
there. At least she was honest enough to let you know what their plans are.

BTW, my 19 yo is living with her boyfriend also, has been for almost a year
now.
Like you said...what are you gonna do?

Nancy B. in WV<<

Exactly. I'd much rather have an honest relationship with her. Her friend,
the one with the miscarriage, was terrified to tell her mother. No
communication at all. And there she was, all alone (except for equally frightened
peers), twisting in the wind.

Laura B.

Tia Leschke

> >>And you'd put her in the position of having to lie to you about his being
>there. At least she was honest enough to let you know what their plans are.
>
>BTW, my 19 yo is living with her boyfriend also, has been for almost a year
>now.
>Like you said...what are you gonna do?
>
>Nancy B. in WV<<
>
>Exactly. I'd much rather have an honest relationship with her. Her friend,
>the one with the miscarriage, was terrified to tell her mother. No
>communication at all. And there she was, all alone (except for equally
>frightened
>peers), twisting in the wind.

I agree with what everyone else has said about this, but I do wonder about
the boyfriend being partially supported by you. (Apartment rent) I don't
necessarily think it's a bad thing, but it seems like something you and
your dh should chat about with the two of them.
Tia

crazeemom77043

--- In [email protected], Tia Leschke
<leschke@s...> wrote:
> I agree with what everyone else has said about this, but I do
wonder about
> the boyfriend being partially supported by you. (Apartment rent) I
don't
> necessarily think it's a bad thing, but it seems like something you
and
> your dh should chat about with the two of them.
> Tia

Oh, yes, Tia, has this been a sore point. :-P Dh initially wanted
to make it so that boyfriend would be fully responsible for the rent
if they want to *play grown up.* I prevailed against that and we
split the difference. I was concerned that we not put our dd fully
under this boy's influence, or protection, or sense of
responsibility, or whatever. Plus, it only seemed fair that if they
are roommates, that they should split everything 50-50. So, that's
what we're doing. It's not a perfect solution, but as close as we
can get to a place where we feel comfortable.

Laura B.

Mary

From: "crazeemom77043" <LauraBourdo@...>

<<It's not a perfect solution, but as close as we
can get to a place where we feel comfortable.>>




I was wondering about the money thing too!!! We have an attached apartment
that my mom lives in. Eventually it will be empty and someone will be able
to use it. Depending on how long it takes and how old any of the kids are.
Tara knows it's there for her if she wants it. Maybe for free, maybe for
rent, depending on the situation. I have often thought of what I would do or
how we would work that if it came about. As in if she wanted someone in
there with her. I think if she were paying rent herself, then she can do
what she decides as far as where the money comes from. Her staying there for
free with someone else wouldn't work for me. I think you made the best
decision. Hope it all works out well for your daughter.



Mary B.
http://www.homeschoolingtshirts.com