Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] What is abuse? Who decides?
Deborah Lewis
<< Let's not forget that different people have different ideas of
abuse.>>
Only regarding children.
No one would consider it acceptable if I spanked, yanked or swatted an
elderly parent in my care.
No one would think it was ok if I spanked or swatted a coworker, doctor,
teacher, or bus driver if they were not behaving the way I liked.
No one would think it was ok if a man turned his wife over his knee in
Wal-mart and let her have it.
That's abuse. But the littlest people can get that treatment and we're
still calling it parenting.
Deb
abuse.>>
Only regarding children.
No one would consider it acceptable if I spanked, yanked or swatted an
elderly parent in my care.
No one would think it was ok if I spanked or swatted a coworker, doctor,
teacher, or bus driver if they were not behaving the way I liked.
No one would think it was ok if a man turned his wife over his knee in
Wal-mart and let her have it.
That's abuse. But the littlest people can get that treatment and we're
still calling it parenting.
Deb
Brian and Kathy Stamp
HURRAH (is that spelt right?) Well said.
Kathy
Kathy
----- Original Message -----
From: Deborah Lewis
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, October 30, 2003 7:22 PM
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] What is abuse? Who decides?
<< Let's not forget that different people have different ideas of
abuse.>>
Only regarding children.
No one would consider it acceptable if I spanked, yanked or swatted an
elderly parent in my care.
No one would think it was ok if I spanked or swatted a coworker, doctor,
teacher, or bus driver if they were not behaving the way I liked.
No one would think it was ok if a man turned his wife over his knee in
Wal-mart and let her have it.
That's abuse. But the littlest people can get that treatment and we're
still calling it parenting.
Deb
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
<< Let's not forget that different people have different ideas of
abuse.>>
I called this abuse today. I also got moderated on that list.
A Mom was pointing out that her children needed work ethic and so on. Her
example was: my child wanted an animal so we bought a bird. After a few days he
was not feeding the bird so what was I to do? She said "Do I one tell him its
ok and let the bird die? or two (what she did) Do I tell him he doesn't eat
until the bird is fed?
To that I replied well one I do hope you are not serious and two it is
considered parental abuse to withhold food from a child. Lastly feed the darn bid
yourself.
Abuse takes many shapes. I dont know this Mom so I dont know how long she
withheld food but she came back to say she disagreed.
Laura
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
abuse.>>
I called this abuse today. I also got moderated on that list.
A Mom was pointing out that her children needed work ethic and so on. Her
example was: my child wanted an animal so we bought a bird. After a few days he
was not feeding the bird so what was I to do? She said "Do I one tell him its
ok and let the bird die? or two (what she did) Do I tell him he doesn't eat
until the bird is fed?
To that I replied well one I do hope you are not serious and two it is
considered parental abuse to withhold food from a child. Lastly feed the darn bid
yourself.
Abuse takes many shapes. I dont know this Mom so I dont know how long she
withheld food but she came back to say she disagreed.
Laura
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
Deb, Thanks! I've added this to the collection, and it's here:
http://sandradodd.com/s/pressure
That page has a link to "Christians for Non-Violent Parenting" (not part of
my site).
<< << Let's not forget that different people have different ideas of
abuse.>>
Only regarding children.
No one would consider it acceptable if I spanked, yanked or swatted an
elderly parent in my care.
No one would think it was ok if I spanked or swatted a coworker, doctor,
teacher, or bus driver if they were not behaving the way I liked.
No one would think it was ok if a man turned his wife over his knee in
Wal-mart and let her have it.
That's abuse. But the littlest people can get that treatment and we're
still calling it parenting.
Deb >>
http://sandradodd.com/s/pressure
That page has a link to "Christians for Non-Violent Parenting" (not part of
my site).
<< << Let's not forget that different people have different ideas of
abuse.>>
Only regarding children.
No one would consider it acceptable if I spanked, yanked or swatted an
elderly parent in my care.
No one would think it was ok if I spanked or swatted a coworker, doctor,
teacher, or bus driver if they were not behaving the way I liked.
No one would think it was ok if a man turned his wife over his knee in
Wal-mart and let her have it.
That's abuse. But the littlest people can get that treatment and we're
still calling it parenting.
Deb >>
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/31/03 8:23:01 AM Eastern Standard Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
I should say that I have spanked in the past, but it was never something I
felt good about; I always knew that if I'd gotten to spanking, I'd failed --
failed to come up with a better solution to the "problem" (and I now realize I
was sometimes making problems where there weren't any by expecting certain
behaviors), failed to control my own temper, failed to nurture myself and my son so
that we could both have what we needed. There was always a disconnect -- I
felt horrible about what I'd done, but much of society seemed to think it was
okay, seemed to think that it was my right to do so as a parent. I've been
very confused up until now, to be honest.
With that said, the response I could hear others making to Deb's comment
about how we wouldn't treat adults that way: "Well, adults don't usually refuse
to get dressed; they don't throw tantrums in public. Adults don't usually
hide under the clothes racks in Wal-mart and scare everyone by not coming out
when called. Adults don't repeatedly run out in front of cars and so don't need
to be taught a sharp lesson for their own safety. That's why we treat kids
differently."
I have some ideas about the response to this, but I'd love to hear others'.
TIA.
Peace,
Amy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SandraDodd@... writes:
> No one would think it was ok if a man turned his wife over his knee inThis was well said, and I'd like to follow up on it.
> Wal-mart and let her have it.
I should say that I have spanked in the past, but it was never something I
felt good about; I always knew that if I'd gotten to spanking, I'd failed --
failed to come up with a better solution to the "problem" (and I now realize I
was sometimes making problems where there weren't any by expecting certain
behaviors), failed to control my own temper, failed to nurture myself and my son so
that we could both have what we needed. There was always a disconnect -- I
felt horrible about what I'd done, but much of society seemed to think it was
okay, seemed to think that it was my right to do so as a parent. I've been
very confused up until now, to be honest.
With that said, the response I could hear others making to Deb's comment
about how we wouldn't treat adults that way: "Well, adults don't usually refuse
to get dressed; they don't throw tantrums in public. Adults don't usually
hide under the clothes racks in Wal-mart and scare everyone by not coming out
when called. Adults don't repeatedly run out in front of cars and so don't need
to be taught a sharp lesson for their own safety. That's why we treat kids
differently."
I have some ideas about the response to this, but I'd love to hear others'.
TIA.
Peace,
Amy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/31/03 7:52:37 AM, arcarpenter@... writes:
<< much of society seemed to think it was
okay, seemed to think that it was my right to do so as a parent. >>
It's easy to find pressure that says it's wrong NOT to do it,that it's a
parent's duty, that a parent can't be obedient to God without it.
<<With that said, the response I could hear others making to Deb's comment
about how we wouldn't treat adults that way: "Well, adults don't usually
refuse
to get dressed; they don't throw tantrums in public. Adults don't usually
hide under the clothes racks in Wal-mart and scare everyone by not coming out
when called. Adults don't repeatedly run out in front of cars and so don't
need
to be taught a sharp lesson for their own safety. That's why we treat kids
differently.">>
Those voices have left the building of my head. When I read what Deb wrote I
only thought "DAMNED STRAIGHT!"
Wife abusers say "If you would fix yourself up," or "If you'd have made
dinner on time" or whatever. People find excuses. "He touched my truck, he
looked at my girlfriend, he brushed my arm," and there's a bar fight. People
rarely say "I'm a drunken dumbass and will hit innocent bystanders for hardly any
reason."
And so parents don't say "I feel trapped and lost and so I take my
frustration out on thirty pound children when no other adults are in earshot." They'll
spin a big web of justification.
Sandra
<< much of society seemed to think it was
okay, seemed to think that it was my right to do so as a parent. >>
It's easy to find pressure that says it's wrong NOT to do it,that it's a
parent's duty, that a parent can't be obedient to God without it.
<<With that said, the response I could hear others making to Deb's comment
about how we wouldn't treat adults that way: "Well, adults don't usually
refuse
to get dressed; they don't throw tantrums in public. Adults don't usually
hide under the clothes racks in Wal-mart and scare everyone by not coming out
when called. Adults don't repeatedly run out in front of cars and so don't
need
to be taught a sharp lesson for their own safety. That's why we treat kids
differently.">>
Those voices have left the building of my head. When I read what Deb wrote I
only thought "DAMNED STRAIGHT!"
Wife abusers say "If you would fix yourself up," or "If you'd have made
dinner on time" or whatever. People find excuses. "He touched my truck, he
looked at my girlfriend, he brushed my arm," and there's a bar fight. People
rarely say "I'm a drunken dumbass and will hit innocent bystanders for hardly any
reason."
And so parents don't say "I feel trapped and lost and so I take my
frustration out on thirty pound children when no other adults are in earshot." They'll
spin a big web of justification.
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/31/03 10:48:13 AM Eastern Standard Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
Peace,
Amy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SandraDodd@... writes:
> And so parents don't say "I feel trapped and lost and so I take myThat very much matches my experience -- thanks!
> frustration out on thirty pound children when no other adults are in
> earshot." They'll
> spin a big web of justification.
Peace,
Amy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tia Leschke
>Mentally ill adults might. Seniors with dementia might. No one would
>
>With that said, the response I could hear others making to Deb's comment
>about how we wouldn't treat adults that way: "Well, adults don't usually
>refuse
>to get dressed; they don't throw tantrums in public. Adults don't usually
>hide under the clothes racks in Wal-mart and scare everyone by not coming out
>when called. Adults don't repeatedly run out in front of cars and so
>don't need
>to be taught a sharp lesson for their own safety. That's why we treat kids
>differently."
consider spanking them, and there are pretty strict rules now in nursing
homes, etc. about how those kinds of things can be handled.
Tia
[email protected]
In a message dated 10/31/03 10:19:31 AM, leschke@... writes:
<< "Well, adults don't usually
Oh but not now.
Now she's on oxygen and a catheter, and she refuses to drain her own
catheter.
She scared me by just deciding not to answer her phone one day. Basically a
one-room apartment, and I let it ring 20 times and then 30. She was sitting
four feet away watching TV and just decided not to answer it, so I got my
husband to go with me because I figured she was unconscious or worse.
Weird.
Sandra
<< "Well, adults don't usually
>refuseMy mom drinks when she shouldn't, goes to casinos drunk...
>to get dressed; they don't throw tantrums in public. Adults don't usually
>hide under the clothes racks in Wal-mart and scare everyone by not coming out
>when called. Adults don't repeatedly run out in front of cars and so
>don't need
>to be taught a sharp lesson for their own safety. >>
Oh but not now.
Now she's on oxygen and a catheter, and she refuses to drain her own
catheter.
She scared me by just deciding not to answer her phone one day. Basically a
one-room apartment, and I let it ring 20 times and then 30. She was sitting
four feet away watching TV and just decided not to answer it, so I got my
husband to go with me because I figured she was unconscious or worse.
Weird.
Sandra
Tim and Maureen
----- Original Message -----
From: Deborah Lewis
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, October 30, 2003 4:22 PM
Subject: Re: [UnschoolingDiscussion] What is abuse? Who decides?
<< Let's not forget that different people have different ideas of
abuse.>>
<<<<<Only regarding children.
No one would consider it acceptable if I spanked, yanked or swatted an
elderly parent in my care.
No one would think it was ok if I spanked or swatted a coworker, doctor,
teacher, or bus driver if they were not behaving the way I liked.
No one would think it was ok if a man turned his wife over his knee in
Wal-mart and let her have it.
That's abuse. But the littlest people can get that treatment and we're
still calling it parenting.>>>>>>
Deb
Wow, does this ever bring the point home. Thanks for the insight.
Maureen
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Robyn Coburn
<<Adults don't repeatedly run out in front of cars and so don't need
to be taught a sharp lesson for their own safety. That's why we treat
kids
differently.>>
I am going to have to make an assertion, because I am going nuts with
all the permutations on Google trying, unsuccessfully, to find the
actual information.
Recently I read a brief about a new study that showed that harsh
punishment, including shouting and spanking, actually increased the
number of "road entries" by young children. The study explained that
running into the road was a surefire parental attention getter, and
suggested a calm and measured response and education was better if child
safety was the goal.
Robyn Coburn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
to be taught a sharp lesson for their own safety. That's why we treat
kids
differently.>>
I am going to have to make an assertion, because I am going nuts with
all the permutations on Google trying, unsuccessfully, to find the
actual information.
Recently I read a brief about a new study that showed that harsh
punishment, including shouting and spanking, actually increased the
number of "road entries" by young children. The study explained that
running into the road was a surefire parental attention getter, and
suggested a calm and measured response and education was better if child
safety was the goal.
Robyn Coburn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/1/03 1:11:28 AM, dezigna@... writes:
<< Recently I read a brief about a new study that showed that harsh
punishment, including shouting and spanking, actually increased the
number of "road entries" by young children. >>
I might rather risk the road which MIGHT be clear than the sidewalk where mom
was DEFINITELY shouting and spanking.
Sandra
<< Recently I read a brief about a new study that showed that harsh
punishment, including shouting and spanking, actually increased the
number of "road entries" by young children. >>
I might rather risk the road which MIGHT be clear than the sidewalk where mom
was DEFINITELY shouting and spanking.
Sandra
[email protected]
I'm pretty sure I saw this at NHEN, possibly from Nicky. Off to look
:) JJ
dezigna@... writes:
:) JJ
dezigna@... writes:
> Recently I read a brief about a new study that showed that harsh[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> punishment, including shouting and spanking, actually increased the
> number of "road entries" by young children. The study explained that
> running into the road was a surefire parental attention getter, and
> suggested a calm and measured response and education was better if child
> safety was the goal.
>
> Robyn Coburn
>
[email protected]
When I was younger like about 7 I would stand in the road and count the
seconds. Each time I would try to beat my time. I knew the risk I was taking but I
didn't care much, I just hoped I didn't get hit on a low count.
At the time my dad was cheating on my Mom and I was withholding my bowels
because my dad beat me if I pooped my pants and made me sit on the potty for
hours. A few months later I landed in the hospital neither of them knew I hadn't
gone to the bathroom. To make matters worse my Dad delivered me a donkey
stuffed animal and was banned from Boston Children's Hospital.
Even without the spanking it was abuse.
Laura
I might rather risk the road which MIGHT be clear than the sidewalk where mom
was DEFINITELY shouting and spanking.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
seconds. Each time I would try to beat my time. I knew the risk I was taking but I
didn't care much, I just hoped I didn't get hit on a low count.
At the time my dad was cheating on my Mom and I was withholding my bowels
because my dad beat me if I pooped my pants and made me sit on the potty for
hours. A few months later I landed in the hospital neither of them knew I hadn't
gone to the bathroom. To make matters worse my Dad delivered me a donkey
stuffed animal and was banned from Boston Children's Hospital.
Even without the spanking it was abuse.
Laura
I might rather risk the road which MIGHT be clear than the sidewalk where mom
was DEFINITELY shouting and spanking.
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/1/03 3:07:36 AM Eastern Standard Time,
dezigna@... writes:
Amy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
dezigna@... writes:
> The study explained thatFascinating. Thanks, Robyn!
> running into the road was a surefire parental attention getter, and
> suggested a calm and measured response and education was better if child
> safety was the goal.
Amy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Robyn Coburn
<<<< Recently I read a brief about a new study that showed that harsh
punishment, including shouting and spanking, actually increased the
number of "road entries" by young children. >>
<<I might rather risk the road which MIGHT be clear than the sidewalk
where mom
was DEFINITELY shouting and spanking.>>>>
This must be my unclear expression. The shouting and spanking referred
to in the study was in response to the child going on to the road. The
study went on to imply that the children were not getting sufficient
parental attention, so found that entering the road as a way to grab
attention, even though it was negative attention. The children wanted
Mom to pay attention even if she was shouting and spanking, according to
the study.
Robyn Coburn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
punishment, including shouting and spanking, actually increased the
number of "road entries" by young children. >>
<<I might rather risk the road which MIGHT be clear than the sidewalk
where mom
was DEFINITELY shouting and spanking.>>>>
This must be my unclear expression. The shouting and spanking referred
to in the study was in response to the child going on to the road. The
study went on to imply that the children were not getting sufficient
parental attention, so found that entering the road as a way to grab
attention, even though it was negative attention. The children wanted
Mom to pay attention even if she was shouting and spanking, according to
the study.
Robyn Coburn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
zenmomma2kids
>>She scared me by just deciding not to answer her phone one day.Basically a one-room apartment, and I let it ring 20 times and then
30. She was sitting four feet away watching TV and just decided not
to answer it, so I got my husband to go with me because I figured she
was unconscious or worse.>>
Did you give her a good slap for worrying you like that?
Life is good.
~Mary
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/2/03 4:36:43 PM, zenmomma@... writes:
<< Did you give her a good slap for worrying you like that? >>
I told her the condition of me coming to help was that she answer her phone.
Sandra
<< Did you give her a good slap for worrying you like that? >>
I told her the condition of me coming to help was that she answer her phone.
Sandra
zenmomma2kids
> << Did you give her a good slap for worrying you like that? >>her phone.
>
> I told her the condition of me coming to help was that she answer
>So you peaceful parent your parent too. ;-)
> Sandra
Life is good.
~Mary
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/2/03 8:30:37 PM, zenmomma@... writes:
<< So you peaceful parent your parent too. ;-) >>
Yes, but the still-frustrated little girl inside me sometimes whispers "kick
her in the shins" and the better-mom I've tried to become says "No, just
breathe slowly and smile and wait for her to die."
It's not the most uplifting thoughts I've ever had, but at least I'm keeping
my mouth shut about the past and just going with the non-confrontational
"Where do you want me to put this? I finished the dishes." ::smiles wanly::
Sandra
<< So you peaceful parent your parent too. ;-) >>
Yes, but the still-frustrated little girl inside me sometimes whispers "kick
her in the shins" and the better-mom I've tried to become says "No, just
breathe slowly and smile and wait for her to die."
It's not the most uplifting thoughts I've ever had, but at least I'm keeping
my mouth shut about the past and just going with the non-confrontational
"Where do you want me to put this? I finished the dishes." ::smiles wanly::
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/2/03 11:04:30 PM Eastern Standard Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
Yes, but the still-frustrated little girl inside me sometimes whispers "kick
her in the shins" and the better-mom I've tried to become says "No, just
breathe slowly and smile and wait for her to die."
Yes, difficult, but, maybe better than waiting until after her death to get
some freedom from your past. (and present)
Teresa..
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SandraDodd@... writes:
Yes, but the still-frustrated little girl inside me sometimes whispers "kick
her in the shins" and the better-mom I've tried to become says "No, just
breathe slowly and smile and wait for her to die."
>>>>Have you ever tried forgiving her? Forgiveness can be a very freeing thing.
Yes, difficult, but, maybe better than waiting until after her death to get
some freedom from your past. (and present)
Teresa..
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
<< Have you ever tried forgiving her? Forgiveness can be a very freeing
thing. >>
It goes in waves. It was easy during the time I was in Adult Children of
Alcoholics and she was in AA, not drinking. It was easy when I was having babies
and she wasn't causing any trouble. When she started drinking again and so
actively aiding and abetting my then-20ish half brother to also be a drunk and
druggie, there was a whole new set of actions to contend with.
Things that could be settled and unimportant are dredged up with her being
helpless and me getting flashes of memories of how badly she's treated helpless
children. I understand she wasn't parented gloriously. I understand she has
brain damage from years of alcoholism.
I'm not angry with her. I'm tired of having my subconscious hurts stirred
up, though.
Sandra
thing. >>
It goes in waves. It was easy during the time I was in Adult Children of
Alcoholics and she was in AA, not drinking. It was easy when I was having babies
and she wasn't causing any trouble. When she started drinking again and so
actively aiding and abetting my then-20ish half brother to also be a drunk and
druggie, there was a whole new set of actions to contend with.
Things that could be settled and unimportant are dredged up with her being
helpless and me getting flashes of memories of how badly she's treated helpless
children. I understand she wasn't parented gloriously. I understand she has
brain damage from years of alcoholism.
I'm not angry with her. I'm tired of having my subconscious hurts stirred
up, though.
Sandra
Melanie Freisinger deGonzalez
There is a way to deal with getting stirred up once and for all. I have had some amazing healing and change of heart dealing with an alcoholic mother, abuse and neglect,etc that I have carried around for 40+ years.
check out www.theophostic.com .
blessings,
melanie
SandraDodd@... wrote:
<< Have you ever tried forgiving her? Forgiveness can be a very freeing
thing. >>
It goes in waves. It was easy during the time I was in Adult Children of
Alcoholics and she was in AA, not drinking. It was easy when I was having babies
and she wasn't causing any trouble. When she started drinking again and so
actively aiding and abetting my then-20ish half brother to also be a drunk and
druggie, there was a whole new set of actions to contend with.
Things that could be settled and unimportant are dredged up with her being
helpless and me getting flashes of memories of how badly she's treated helpless
children. I understand she wasn't parented gloriously. I understand she has
brain damage from years of alcoholism.
I'm not angry with her. I'm tired of having my subconscious hurts stirred
up, though.
Sandra
"List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
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�Truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a time, but it ain�t going away.� -Elvis Presley
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
check out www.theophostic.com .
blessings,
melanie
SandraDodd@... wrote:
<< Have you ever tried forgiving her? Forgiveness can be a very freeing
thing. >>
It goes in waves. It was easy during the time I was in Adult Children of
Alcoholics and she was in AA, not drinking. It was easy when I was having babies
and she wasn't causing any trouble. When she started drinking again and so
actively aiding and abetting my then-20ish half brother to also be a drunk and
druggie, there was a whole new set of actions to contend with.
Things that could be settled and unimportant are dredged up with her being
helpless and me getting flashes of memories of how badly she's treated helpless
children. I understand she wasn't parented gloriously. I understand she has
brain damage from years of alcoholism.
I'm not angry with her. I'm tired of having my subconscious hurts stirred
up, though.
Sandra
"List Posting Policies" are provided in the files area of this group.
To unsubscribe from this send an email to:
[email protected]
Visit the Unschooling website and message boards: http://www.unschooling.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
�Truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a time, but it ain�t going away.� -Elvis Presley
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Stepheny Cappel
Sandra, sometimes I think like this and think I will be so sorry for thinking this someday. Thanks for sharing that. Stepheny
P.S. Didn't think about peaceful parenting for mom though.
Yes, but the still-frustrated little girl inside me sometimes whispers "kick
her in the shins" and the better-mom I've tried to become says "No, just
breathe slowly and smile and wait for her to die."
<< So you peaceful parent your parent too. ;-) >>
Yes, but the still-frustrated little girl inside me sometimes whispers "kick
her in the shins" and the better-mom I've tried to become says "No, just
breathe slowly and smile and wait for her to die."
It's not the most uplifting thoughts I've ever had, but at least I'm keeping
my mouth shut about the past and just going with the non-confrontational
"Where do you want me to put this? I finished the dishes." ::smiles wanly::
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
P.S. Didn't think about peaceful parenting for mom though.
Yes, but the still-frustrated little girl inside me sometimes whispers "kick
her in the shins" and the better-mom I've tried to become says "No, just
breathe slowly and smile and wait for her to die."
<< So you peaceful parent your parent too. ;-) >>
Yes, but the still-frustrated little girl inside me sometimes whispers "kick
her in the shins" and the better-mom I've tried to become says "No, just
breathe slowly and smile and wait for her to die."
It's not the most uplifting thoughts I've ever had, but at least I'm keeping
my mouth shut about the past and just going with the non-confrontational
"Where do you want me to put this? I finished the dishes." ::smiles wanly::
Sandra
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[email protected]
In a message dated 11/2/03 11:59:30 PM Eastern Standard Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
I'm not angry with her. I'm tired of having my subconscious hurts stirred
up, though.
Sandra
people. I can do it, and it is easier than carrying a grudge,BUT, if and when they
start the same old crap, it's a whole new set of forgiving, and it does get
exhausting.
Teresa
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SandraDodd@... writes:
I'm not angry with her. I'm tired of having my subconscious hurts stirred
up, though.
Sandra
>>>I can understand that. I have forgiven a lot of "stuff" from a lot of
people. I can do it, and it is easier than carrying a grudge,BUT, if and when they
start the same old crap, it's a whole new set of forgiving, and it does get
exhausting.
Teresa
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[email protected]
In a message dated 11/2/2003 10:04:17 PM Central Standard Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
It's not the most uplifting thoughts I've ever had, but at least I'm keeping
my mouth shut about the past and just going with the non-confrontational
"Where do you want me to put this? I finished the dishes." ::smiles wanly::
At least you'll be able to look yourself in the mirror.
Sorry it can't be better for you and her.
Tuck
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SandraDodd@... writes:
It's not the most uplifting thoughts I've ever had, but at least I'm keeping
my mouth shut about the past and just going with the non-confrontational
"Where do you want me to put this? I finished the dishes." ::smiles wanly::
At least you'll be able to look yourself in the mirror.
Sorry it can't be better for you and her.
Tuck
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zenmomma2kids
>>I'm not angry with her. I'm tired of having my subconscious hurtsstirred up, though.>>
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Sandra}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
I wish you peace.
Life is good.
~Mary