K WORTHEN

Holly,
I couldn't help notice you comment in your into. that your son's Clonlara
diploma was not valid in the eyes of the Army. I thought that the whole idea
of using an umbrella school was for times like that. Was that just an Army
thing? Do you know of anyone else having difficulty with colleges, other
branches of the armed services, etc. It seems scary to me that one could
spend money for curriculums, time corresponding, earn a diploma, and still
have a hard time. I'd like your input bc we were thinking of using Oak
Meadow next year. BTW welcome to the list.
Amy
----- Original Message -----
From: <hjshaltz@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Monday, April 17, 2000 10:28 AM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] intro and comment


> Hi, I'm new to this list so thought I would lurk for a while, but found
this
> note by Susan in my first digest, and couldn't resist commenting :) Intro
> first, though.
>
> I've been unschooling 10 years this month; took my older two kids out of
> school 2/3 of the way through 5th grade when the older was suicidally
> depressed due to school experiences and the younger, though he had skipped
> two years of school, was still grossly unchallenged. I knew no other
hsers
> but one family who did school at home, which I didn't feel would work in
our
> situation, but figured a tiny bit of structure would be needed. However,
my
> oldest son's intense need to deschool led directly to unschooling, and we
> never looked back.
>
> The boys are now very nearly 21 (2 weeks) and 18. The elder is in the
Army,
> has been since before he turned 18, and is doing very well. Getting him
in
.the Army was a challenge as our Clonlara diploma was not recognized as
> valid. But we got past that hurdle, then 6 weeks after Chris joined, my
dh
> retired from the Army, and we left TX to move onto our land in MI, where
we
> now have a small farm. The younger son left home a few weeks after his
18th
> birthday to move *back* to TX :) where he's employed by an Internet
ecommerce
> company, and making a very nice salary along with 80 hour workweeks.
> Personally, I hope he quits and finds something less stressful, but that's
> what he wants for now :)
>
> My youngest child is a girl, 8 going on 18, who is exceptionally sensitive
> and strongwilled, so life is never dull. At the moment she's minding the
> batch of 28 baby chicks we picked up this morning. We still unschool, in
the
> manner I've been told is nowadays called 'radical unschooling', meaning,
I'm
> told, folks who don't use unit studies.
>
> Now for the comment. Susan wrote:
>
> << imo the fact that you wanted to learn piano and the opportunity to
acquire
> this skill was not afforded to you would say to me that you were not
> unschooled because your parents did not respect your desires and did not
> follow your lead. >>
>
> I strongly disagree with this :) Unschooling, IMO, is indeed about
following
> the child's lead--I like to refer to it as child-led learning. However,
> parents are not obligated to allow the child to lead anywhere she wants!
I
> don't think you'd let your child lead you to give her lessons in arson, if
> she were interested in burning things, would you? :) There are always
limits
> in the real world.
>
> If my daughter had her way, we'd provide gymnastics, swimming, horseback
> riding, piano lessons, and a host of other enriching activities. I would
> love to give her ample opportunity for each and every one of these
> activities, but there's a few problems. One, there's simply not enough
time
> to do all these things; Two, we don't have the money; and Three, she is
not
> real serious about any of the ones she's tried so far.
>
> Where I can work out lessons that I feel are of the quality that provides
> learning with respect, for a reasonable amount of money or labor (I have
> bartered my labor for her lessons with friends), I give my daughter
chances
> to try different activities. But when she doesn't follow through on her
end
> of the deal--for example, wearing the safety equipment needed, or placing
her
> hands on the keys like her teachers says--then it's time to rethink the
> lessons. Periodically we'll give her a new chance to try if she's still
> interested, and if she's willing to be fully cooperative with the
> restrictions inherent in the situation, then lessons will continue as long
as
> she is cooperative and we can work out any other problems. But I'm under
no
> obligation to provide opportunities to someone who won't appreciate and
make
> the most of them.
>
> If my child had a burning *need* to do something--for example, a child who
is
> a serious competitive swimmer, or who finds that music, or animals, or
> whatever, is her life, then I would move heaven and earth to provide that
> opportunity. But most kids are just experimenting, which is fine, if done
> with the understanding that it not take over the family's time and income.
>
> Well, so much for my plan to lurk :)
>
> Holly
> hjshaltz@...
> HJS Studio and Shaltz Farm Shetlands and Angora Rabbits
> List Mom, [email protected] and [email protected]
>
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In a message dated 4/17/00 1:31:39 PM Central Daylight Time,
fxfireob@... writes:

<< unschooling is always in context of real life and family - one member's
desires should never always usurp another rights and desires. yes we must
juggle the desires of all the members of the family (and for some people the
state and extended family as well) though this is challenging at times it's
also
beautiful when it's working. >>

Susan,
Nicely put! I enjoyed your whole response but this part particularly rang
true, as one of my sons tends to "take over" the whole family. It is a
delicate balance.


*** KiM ***
runs with scissors