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Karen
I think you did a great job with your son! My daughter is also shy at 11,
but she was terribly shy when she was younger. I did just what you did - let
her know it is OK to be scared and we went to things anyway. I never pushed
her and many times I was the only mom joining in and helping her find Easter
eggs etc. But that was all right with me. I realized that helping my
daughter learn to do things that scared her and keeping her self-esteem
intact were more important than me feeling a little foolish. And sometimes I
did feel embarrassed that at 7 she still needed me to stay at birthday
parties with her - but then I would realize that it was only my ego that had
the problem thinking other moms were judging me or my daughter, and I learned
to let go of that. Now my daughter is still shy in new situations, but much
better that she ever has been. I think you need to continue to respect that
your son's feelings are OK and support him when he needs you and I think you
will be fine! Jackie

Sonia Ulan

Hi Jackie and Karen and other parents of shy kids,

It's heartwarming to see parents who are so in-tune with and sensitive
to their children. I think Jackie hit the nail on the head that often
it's us as parents who "need to get a grip". There are TONS of shy kids
out there so this has GOT to be completely normal behavior. It's
typical social development for most of us. And look how many adults
still struggle with some level of shyness and depend on a glass of wine
to get their courage up at gatherings etc...Pushing the issue, denying
it exists, lacking the understanding or humiliating a child only
exacerbates the situation.

Sonia


kayelle42@... wrote:
>
> Karen
> I think you did a great job with your son! My daughter is also shy at 11,
> but she was terribly shy when she was younger. I did just what you did - let
> her know it is OK to be scared and we went to things anyway. I never pushed
> her and many times I was the only mom joining in and helping her find Easter
> eggs etc. But that was all right with me. I realized that helping my
> daughter learn to do things that scared her and keeping her self-esteem
> intact were more important than me feeling a little foolish. And sometimes I
> did feel embarrassed that at 7 she still needed me to stay at birthday
> parties with her - but then I would realize that it was only my ego that had
> the problem thinking other moms were judging me or my daughter, and I learned
> to let go of that. Now my daughter is still shy in new situations, but much
> better that she ever has been. I think you need to continue to respect that
> your son's feelings are OK and support him when he needs you and I think you
> will be fine! Jackie
>
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