susan

i haven't been following this thread but i just wanted to make a comment; imo the
fact that you wanted to learn piano and the opportunity to acquire this skill was
not afforded to you would say to me that you were not unschooled because your
parents did not respect your desires and did not follow your led. your parents may
have meant well and may have called themselves unschoolers but if a parent is
disregarding the wishes of a child, particularly in regards to subject matter, then
they are not unschooling - i think we (unschoolers) may disagree about how we
actually do this but the component of child-led must be predominate or it is not
unschooling.

jmo,
susan,
austin,tx
'unity through diversity'

Hafidha wrote:

> Hello,
> > I was not home schooled and I have often wished I had >learned to play
> the piano when I was younger. So, at the age >of 40, I started taking piano
> lessons! I love it! I usually >practice about an hour a day and can hardly
> walk by the piano >without being drawn to it. My unschooled daughter, on the
>
> >other hand, has no interest at all AT THIS TIME.
>
> I've always wanted to learn piano; my mother, on the other hand, didn't have
> much interest in it because she'd had lessons foisted on her from the time she
> was a little girl. I'd played viola in elementary school, but there were no
> more lessons afterwards. I started taking piano again when I was 17 and it was
> available as a class in school. I loved it! I've made plans to take it up again
> shortly.
>
> >My point is, learning isn't something to be accomplished while >you are a child
> and then you go live your "real" life. We are >all "unschooling" from the day
> we are born until the day
> >we die. First and foremost, I want my daughter to enjoy >learning and to find
> the things in life that bring her joy and >passion.
>
> I totally agree!
>
> -Hafidha
>
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Sonia Ulan

Thanks so much for sharing your experience with us, Hafidha.

I was just curious to know WHAT you did during those unschooling years?
Your parents did not take you anywhere? You had no interests, hobbies,
or outside activities?

If you could give a little more detail I'd find it very helpful.

Thanks again,

Sonia


Brown wrote:
>
> Hi there,
>
> Hafidha wrote:
>
> > I only feel like I have a lot of catching up to do as an adult
> > because there are a lot of things I have an interest in that I wish I
> > already knew (e.g. Latin & piano) - and that I could have learned back
> > then if I'd known how to be diligent.
>
> So, as a matter of interest, were you interested in these things back then?
> I know that some of the things I was interested in at that age myself, I
> have absolutely no interest in now, and the things I am interested in now,
> held no attraction for me then.
>
> > My main suggestion to parents (and I don't intend this to
> > be AT ALL accusatory) is to really fight the urge to be lazy.
>
> What do you mean by lazy? If things are important enough to us, we will do
> them. If they aren't important enough to do them willingly, then are they
> really worth doing?
>
> > Make
> > sure your kids are really learning and engaged in life - taking
> > lessons, volunteering, getting outdoors, and developing skills;
> > whether they're playing an instrument, re-enacting history, sewing,
> > gardening, working on computers, fixing cars, or flying planes, they
> > should be experiencing things and trying things out. We don't always
> > have these opportunities as adults. (We should, but we don't.)
>
> No matter how many things we offer our kids, even if we have an endless
> money supply and endless time and energy available, there will still be
> things they don't get to experience. I think that for many children today
> (adults too), who are incredibly busy, what they are really missing out on
> is time to reflect, time to dream, time to simply 'be'. I'm not trying to be
> critical, because I too have seen kids who have very narrow lives and who
> don't get to experience a wide enough - IMO - variety in their lives, but I
> do think it is important not to swing the other way and burden our kids with
> so much 'opportunity' that they never get to discover the world within
> themselves.
>
> > Unschooling is only an advantage, I believe, when kids are MORE
> > involved in life than they would be if they were in school. And when
> > they are more in touch with themselves. I was VERY in touch with
> > myself as an unschooling teen, but I wasn't immersed in life; that was
> > a very serious inbalance, and seven years later it's something I'm
> > still trying to right.
>
> So I'd agree with you here, but finding that balance is hard, and it is easy
> to react and swing the pendulum too far the other way.
>
> > There are so many things
> > I want to do, that if one thing doesn't work out it just points me in
> > another direction I was interested in anyway.
>
> Cool! Go for it :-)
>
> Carol
>
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Shannon CC

> Things are going to be different around here from now on.
> Amy

I'm not picking on Amy :-) but I just wanted to comment. I'm often
dismayed at people who change their whole way of parenting (hs-ing, etc)
because of an off hand remark or one person's story that they've heard
on-line. I really appreciated Hafidha's story (tho, sadly, I saw some of
my childhood in what she described, and I was sent to school), but I
would urge everyone to not go against their instincts because of one
story, which, by the way, was over-all a positive one! Children are
different and so are parents. I don't think unschooling or parenting the
way someone else says to will work. You have to raise your kids the way
that works for you and your family. We can learn by other's successes
and mistakes, and the example of others certainly gives us something to
think about (which is one reason we're all on this list) but I don't
think we should let ourselves have knee-jerk reactions to other people's
experiences. Basically, we're all going to make mistakes. Whether you
send your kids to school, or homeschool, or unschool, there are always
going to be things you could have done better, and things you could have
done worse. I think we should learn as much as we can from the
experiences of others, take a good, hard look at our own families, and
then do what our instincts tell us to do.

And Amy, I'm really not singling you out. I did notice you said you've
been worried about how it's going for your family so it's not just
Hafidha's story that is prompting you to make a change. But I have met
too many people online who read one story from one person and then panic
and run out and change everything. I just thought I'd comment on that.

Shannon CC