primalmother

My kids are known around town and my 15 and 17 year old daughters
take their brothers out on walks all of the time to area businesses,
etc. Just the day before yesterday the girls took them down to the
DQ on free cone day to get the boys a cone in the middle of the
day. That's why the call to the police up-set me, people do know my
kids and where they live and they should have called me first. I've
lived in this town my whole life, it's so small it's actually called
a village. As far as I was concerned the kids have never left the
yard without supervision and they were (suppose to be) playing in
the backyard. It's a shame I can't trust them now to be out for 10-
15 minutes in our own back yard, while I work on other things and
care for their baby brother, whom was being rocked to sleeep at the
time. The business parking lot they were in is right next door.
There was no reason for them not to send them home if they were
bothering them, instead of calling the police. I understand the
police were doing their job, but really the kids were right next
door to our property, not wondering all over town. The other kids
their age that do wonder all over town without supervision have
teased my boys in the past that I won't let them leave the yard
without an adult or their sisters. That's why I just feel like this
is a case of lets tweek the home schooler. The people at the
business could have easily told them to go back into their own yard
or we're going to call your mother. My husband went across the
street to ask the people at that business if they had seen the boys
and if they were being troublesome and they said no, if they had
they would of came to our door, as they know who we are. I just
don't understand why the other business couldn't have had the same
attitude about it. Perhaps, I'll go over and ask them, but I have
to calm down first. Don't get me wrong, my boys were in the wrong
for leaving the yard without permission, but in this situation it
didn't require all this extra attention. Especially, like I said
when other kids their age run around town all of the time. It's
simply a case of some people in our society doesn't like seeing kids
out of the public school, even in their own back yard (or pretty
darn close to it).
Robin

[email protected]

In a message dated 9/24/2003 9:08:08 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
Nest4Robin@... writes:

> Especially, like I said
> when other kids their age run around town all of the time. It's
> simply a case of some people in our society doesn't like seeing kids
> out of the public school, even in their own back yard (or pretty
> darn close to it).
> Robin
>

If I knew of six and seven year olds unaccompanied by anyone older out
running all over town, and even coming to my house across town to play with my
children alone, I'd call someone, hopefully their parents first to see if they were
aware of this.

It's neglect, six and seven year olds are not equipped to be "running all
over town" by themselves all day. Who feeds them when they get hungry? Where to
do they turn if they are hurt or frightened while they are out carousing the
town?

I know they will pick up a ten year old out wandering the streets here and
take them home if they are alone, I can't imagine the attention six or seven
year old would get.

It's neglect, the children need protecting and nurturing and supervision.

glena


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 9/24/03 10:01:55 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
rubyprincesstsg@... writes:

> If I knew of six and seven year olds unaccompanied by anyone older out
> running all over town,

I think she was talking about her kids that were very close to their own back
yard. It sounded to me like the business bordered her property. I may be
wrong. That the children had wandered just a little farther this time and had
not asked permission. Not that the business owners knew where they were from.
To them they probably just looked like kids out of school.

Pam G


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Shyrley

rubyprincesstsg@... wrote:

>In a message dated 9/24/2003 9:08:08 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
>Nest4Robin@... writes:
>
>
>
>>Especially, like I said
>>when other kids their age run around town all of the time. It's
>>simply a case of some people in our society doesn't like seeing kids
>>out of the public school, even in their own back yard (or pretty
>>darn close to it).
>>Robin
>>
>>
>>
>
>If I knew of six and seven year olds unaccompanied by anyone older out
>running all over town, and even coming to my house across town to play with my
>children alone, I'd call someone, hopefully their parents first to see if they were
>aware of this.
>
>It's neglect, six and seven year olds are not equipped to be "running all
>over town" by themselves all day. Who feeds them when they get hungry? Where to
>do they turn if they are hurt or frightened while they are out carousing the
>town?
>
>I know they will pick up a ten year old out wandering the streets here and
>take them home if they are alone, I can't imagine the attention six or seven
>year old would get.
>
>It's neglect, the children need protecting and nurturing and supervision.
>
>glena
>
>
>
I would be fuming if the police bought back my 10 yo. Unless they
introduced a curfew law for a ceratin age which in my opinion is
discrimination and against all the principles of 'a land of the free'.
Mind you, it would keep them busy at school start and school ending as
most kids (in my old town) walk to school there n back alone and in
London they catch the tube from 9 or so. The police would spend all day
picking up kids ;-)

If your streets aren't safe for kids you should find out why and do
something to campaign about it. Otherwise its like saying women should
have a curfew an shouldn't be on the streets cos they'll get raped.
Where will it end once you start excluding members of society from
excercising their rights to go where they will?

Shyrley


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 9/24/2003 10:20:30 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
shyrley@... writes:

> I would be fuming if the police bought back my 10 yo. Unless they
> introduced a curfew law for a ceratin age which in my opinion is
> discrimination and against all the principles of 'a land of the free'.
> Mind you, it would keep them busy at school start and school ending as
> most kids (in my old town) walk to school there n back alone and in
> London they catch the tube from 9 or so. The police would spend all day
> picking up kids ;-)
>
>

I've addressed that very issue with our law enforcement. A few years ago
when my oldest two were 12 and 13, the alternated with the job of daycare at the
local Gold's Gym, which is less than half a mile from our house.

My daughter always wanted a ride, my son always wanted to walk (12). Suddenly
my son was getting dropped off by our "friendly" Deputy almost every single
time he walked home, which wasn't late at all.

At first I thought it was the cop being friendly but Matthew didn't seem to
think it was. The cop was always smiling and waving when he pulled in the
driveway.

Matthew said it always went like this: Where are you going son? Home.
Where have you been son? Gold's Gym, I work there. Where do you live son? Vista
Woods, around the corner. Get in son, I'll take you home. That's OK, I can
walk. Why don't you want a ride son? Is there any reason you don't want to
get in my car? No sir, thank you.

So I told my son if it bothered him he could certainly politely decline a
ride and just keep walking. This apparently angered the "friendly cop". He
wanted to know WHY he didn't want the ride, kept following him as he walked.
Blocked his path with the car and got out, told him to STOP, which Matthew
complied with. Asked if he could search him, Matthew wanted to know why. Well, if
he was refusing to be searched there had to be a reason. This all occurred
within yelling distance of our home. The cop KNEW where he lived, worked, his
name, everything but was being, well, NOT the friendly neighborhood cop.

So this time when he bring my boy home, he come to the door to tell me that
my son was rude with him and he thinks he might be in some trouble. TROUBLE?
All the nice cop wanted to do was offer him a ride home and my son refused to
get in the car, that's grounds for arrest he tells me. OK, now you GOTTA take
a ride from the nice stranger cause he wears a uniform?

It got ugly. He brought up that Matthew asked why he wanted to search him,
well you are 12 if you have cigarettes it's against the law. Why would he think
he had cigarettes? Because he's 12?

Anyway, we ended up with quite the conversation about laws and civil rights
and he wanted to take ME to jail because I "threatened" him to stay away from
my son.

The Sheriff was much more understanding. He was even more understanding some
weeks later when this same cop started following my son home from school
"chatting" with him about checking him for cigarettes or lighters or anything that
might be illegal. I called the sheriff's office. They told me no officer
was in the area at that time of day. I went and witnessed it for myself and
called, gave them the car number. Again they denied it. So I called the Sheriff
at home, he came and waited with me the next day. Guess who showed up
driving slowly behind my boys all the way to my corner? Same cop, same no longer
now a cop.

Just because they wear a badge doesn't mean they are always the good guys.

glena


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 9/24/2003 10:16:55 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
genant2@... writes:

> If I knew of six and seven year olds unaccompanied by anyone older out
> >running all over town,
>
> I think she was talking about her kids that were very close to their own
> back
> yard. It sounded to me like the business bordered her property. I may be
> wrong. That the children had wandered just a little farther this time and
> had
> not asked permission. Not that the business owners knew where they were
> from.
> To them they probably just looked like kids out of school.
>

I wasn't talking about HER kids, the others that she said walk across town to
play with her children and run unaccompanied through town throughout the day.

I completely understand little boys finding an adventure just outside their
gates, but she said these others do it all the time. Those are the children I
was referring to.

glena


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

TreeGoddess

primalmother wrote:

>It's a shame I can't trust them now to be out for 10-15 minutes in our own back yard
>
If *you* choose not to trust them. Have they really lost your trust
<snap!> like that?

>The business parking lot they were in is right next door. There was no reason for them not to send them home if they were bothering them, instead of calling the police. The people at the
>business could have easily told them to go back into their own yard or we're going to call your mother.
>

Maybe there was someone working who didn't recognize them as the kids
next door? At any rate, I'd probably go over there with my kids and
meet the shop people. Let them know that you're homeschoolers and that
if they see the kids during the day they're not "skipping school".
Also, you might leave them your phone number so that if they do want to
speak with you you're only a phone call away. Just some ideas.... :)

TreeGoddess

liza sabater

On Wednesday, September 24, 2003, at 09:05 AM, primalmother wrote:
> It's
> simply a case of some people in our society doesn't like seeing kids
> out of the public school, even in their own back yard (or pretty
> darn close to it).

I completely agree with this one. There are too many people out there
who feel kids need to be kenneled during working hours ;-)

/ l i z a, nyc
============================
http://culturekitchen.com
http://liza.typepad.com

liza sabater

On Wednesday, September 24, 2003, at 10:24 AM, Shyrley wrote:
> The police would spend all day
> picking up kids ;-)

and it's easier than picking up criminals anyway :-)

[email protected]

In a message dated 9/24/03 9:46:28 AM, rubyprincesstsg@... writes:

<< Guess who showed up
driving slowly behind my boys all the way to my corner? Same cop, same no
longer
now a cop. >>

Do you mean he was fired?
He had been pretending to be a policeman?
He was off duty?

Sandra

Mary

I understood it as he was a cop then, but isn't anymore now because of that
incident.

Mary B.
http://www.homeschoolingtshirts.com



From: <SandraDodd@...>
> Do you mean he was fired?
> He had been pretending to be a policeman?
> He was off duty?

[email protected]

In a message dated 9/24/2003 12:36:04 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:

> Do you mean he was fired?
> He had been pretending to be a policeman?
> He was off duty?
>
> Sandra
>

He was a cop, he was quietly allowed to resign which I think is wrong, but
that's how it goes here when a cop gets in trouble for things that might make
the group as a whole look bad.

I was simply assured that the "cop" in question would NOT be a cop after that
dad and personal records are sealed so don't ask questions.

So rumor was that the "friendly neighborhood cop" just up and quit his job.

I wonder how many other kids he was "friendly" with and the parents didn't
listen to their child and call it what it was, stalking, harassment...

glena


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

primalmother

Exactly, the business in right next door. Our yard is fenced in and
I never let the kids outside the gate without adult supervision.
However, I do let them play in our back yard and don't think I
should have to stand out there all of the time. I call and check on
them periodically and they've always been right there. They just
happened to wonder out of the gate one time, the explorer bug bit
them. My kids do not run all over town, other kids do
continuously.

--- In [email protected], genant2@a... wrote:
> In a message dated 9/24/03 10:01:55 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
> rubyprincesstsg@a... writes:
>
> > If I knew of six and seven year olds unaccompanied by anyone
older out
> > running all over town,
>
> I think she was talking about her kids that were very close to
their own back
> yard. It sounded to me like the business bordered her property.
I may be
> wrong. That the children had wandered just a little farther this
time and had
> not asked permission. Not that the business owners knew where
they were from.
> To them they probably just looked like kids out of school.
>
> Pam G
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

primalmother

This has developed into a conflict between my husband and I. He
slammed me about unschooling today and wants me to do the school at
home type of thing now. My mother has even made passing comments
about it to me. It's like they found the perfect excuse to slam me
about unschooling. I'm really hurt and frustrated about all of this
tonight, I feel like I have to start all over with convincing them
that unschooling is the best option and that kids do learn
naturally. <sigh>
Robin

primalmother

This has developed into a conflict between my husband and I. He
slammed me about unschooling today and wants me to do the school at
home type of thing now. My mother has even made passing comments
about it to me. It's like they found the perfect excuse to slam me
about unschooling. I'm really hurt and frustrated about all of this
tonight, I feel like I have to start all over with convincing them
that unschooling is the best option and that kids do learn
naturally. <sigh>
Robin

[email protected]

I believe the poster stated quite clear that she lived in a village and also
lived right next to the town. Personally I wouldn't want to live where my
children did not live free to be who they are.

I disagree with the neglect statement. IMO it seems that anyone that would
be wound that tight would find it hard to Unschool.

The information given was nothing remotely close to neglect. Its all where
you live as to the comfort zone. Laura

<<<In a message dated 9/24/2003 10:01:52 AM Eastern Standard Time,
rubyprincesstsg@... writes:

If I knew of six and seven year olds unaccompanied by anyone older out
running all over town, and even coming to my house across town to play with
my
children alone, I'd call someone, hopefully their parents first to see if
they were
aware of this.

It's neglect, six and seven year olds are not equipped to be "running all
over town" by themselves all day. Who feeds them when they get hungry?
Where to
do they turn if they are hurt or frightened while they are out carousing the
town?

I know they will pick up a ten year old out wandering the streets here and
take them home if they are alone, I can't imagine the attention six or seven
year old would get.

It's neglect, the children need protecting and nurturing and supervision.

glena>>>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 9/24/03 6:39:04 PM, Nest4Robin@... writes:

<< I feel like I have to start all over with convincing them

that unschooling is the best option and that kids do learn

naturally. >>

You can stop talking about it, though, and convince them by showing them when
it happens. Even if you're doing schoolish stuff some of the time, you can
still keep the other times really rich and busy and take note of the incidental
learning, and build on that.

Lots of people come to unschooling by gradually moving toward it.

Sanda

[email protected]

What time did the police thing take place? Many I know that HS traditional
only do it from like 8-12 wouldn't they have been outside anyway? Laura
<<<This has developed into a conflict between my husband and I. He
slammed me about unschooling today and wants me to do the school at
home type of thing now. My mother has even made passing comments
about it to me. It's like they found the perfect excuse to slam me
about unschooling. I'm really hurt and frustrated about all of this
tonight, I feel like I have to start all over with convincing them
that unschooling is the best option and that kids do learn
naturally. <sigh>
Robin


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Holly Shaltz

Robin writes:

<<This has developed into a conflict between my husband and I. He
slammed me about unschooling today and wants me to do the school at
home type of thing now.>>

What a double whammy! I can imagine how I'd be feeling in that
situation, and it ain't fun.

Can you point out that school at home wouldn't have prevented the
situation from happening? If you'd allowed the boys to go outside for
"PE" they could still have wandered away and been picked up, just as
happened--and most schools have PE during school hours, after all :)

My guess is they're feeling some fear--which has a strong tendency to
come out as anger. If you can identify the fear, and speak to that,
maybe it will help. I have seldom needed to be concerned about what
people would think about my kids being out during normal school hours,
but I do have occasional issues in that way. Generally, my fear has
been my child would be picked up and I charged with some form of
neglect, and then possibly lose custody of the child at least
temporarily.

If I felt my husband had allowed behavior that might have resulted in
that sort of thing, I would have been very fearful and then very angry!
If he then could sit down with me and say "Look, I know you're concerned
that something might happen and our kids might be taken away from us.
I'm sorry I allowed behavior that could lead to that consequence. I'll
try to remember that in the future--maybe you can help me remember that,
or help restructure things (like tieing the gate shut) so that it is
less likely to happen in the future." then I would feel like my feelings
were taken seriously, and my fear/anger would have been diffused.

Hope that helps some,

Holly

primalmother

It was about 1:00 in the afternoon.

--- In [email protected], HMSL2@a... wrote:
> What time did the police thing take place? Many I know that HS
traditional
> only do it from like 8-12 wouldn't they have been outside anyway?
Laura
> <<<This has developed into a conflict between my husband and I.
He
> slammed me about unschooling today and wants me to do the school
at
> home type of thing now. My mother has even made passing comments
> about it to me. It's like they found the perfect excuse to slam
me
> about unschooling. I'm really hurt and frustrated about all of
this
> tonight, I feel like I have to start all over with convincing them
> that unschooling is the best option and that kids do learn
> naturally. <sigh>
> Robin
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

primalmother

Thank you, I'm glad you get the picture. :)

--- In [email protected], HMSL2@a... wrote:
> I believe the poster stated quite clear that she lived in a
village and also
> lived right next to the town. Personally I wouldn't want to live
where my
> children did not live free to be who they are.
>
> I disagree with the neglect statement. IMO it seems that anyone
that would
> be wound that tight would find it hard to Unschool.
>
> The information given was nothing remotely close to neglect. Its
all where
> you live as to the comfort zone. Laura
>
> <<<In a message dated 9/24/2003 10:01:52 AM Eastern Standard Time,
> rubyprincesstsg@a... writes:
>
> If I knew of six and seven year olds unaccompanied by anyone older
out
> running all over town, and even coming to my house across town to
play with
> my
> children alone, I'd call someone, hopefully their parents first to
see if
> they were
> aware of this.
>
> It's neglect, six and seven year olds are not equipped to
be "running all
> over town" by themselves all day. Who feeds them when they get
hungry?
> Where to
> do they turn if they are hurt or frightened while they are out
carousing the
> town?
>
> I know they will pick up a ten year old out wandering the streets
here and
> take them home if they are alone, I can't imagine the attention
six or seven
> year old would get.
>
> It's neglect, the children need protecting and nurturing and
supervision.
>
> glena>>>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

primalmother

Thanks Holly, yes.

--- In [email protected], Holly Shaltz
<holly@s...> wrote:
> Robin writes:
>
> <<This has developed into a conflict between my husband and I. He
> slammed me about unschooling today and wants me to do the school
at
> home type of thing now.>>
>
> What a double whammy! I can imagine how I'd be feeling in that
> situation, and it ain't fun.
>
> Can you point out that school at home wouldn't have prevented the
> situation from happening? If you'd allowed the boys to go outside
for
> "PE" they could still have wandered away and been picked up, just
as
> happened--and most schools have PE during school hours, after
all :)
>
> My guess is they're feeling some fear--which has a strong tendency
to
> come out as anger. If you can identify the fear, and speak to
that,
> maybe it will help. I have seldom needed to be concerned about
what
> people would think about my kids being out during normal school
hours,
> but I do have occasional issues in that way. Generally, my fear
has
> been my child would be picked up and I charged with some form of
> neglect, and then possibly lose custody of the child at least
> temporarily.
>
> If I felt my husband had allowed behavior that might have resulted
in
> that sort of thing, I would have been very fearful and then very
angry!
> If he then could sit down with me and say "Look, I know you're
concerned
> that something might happen and our kids might be taken away from
us.
> I'm sorry I allowed behavior that could lead to that consequence.
I'll
> try to remember that in the future--maybe you can help me remember
that,
> or help restructure things (like tieing the gate shut) so that it
is
> less likely to happen in the future." then I would feel like my
feelings
> were taken seriously, and my fear/anger would have been diffused.
>
> Hope that helps some,
>
> Holly