Carli

Wow! How beautifully put and gently too. I enjoyed reading your view on
it as a "Daddy."

~Carli

----------
> From: Sonia Ulan <sulan@...>
> To: [email protected]
> Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] A father's view
> Date: Monday, April 10, 2000 9:25 AM
>
> Hello, one and all,
>
> It's time for another father to speak to this issue. I am Sonia's
> husband (BTW, what IS a "DH"?). Although you want this subject to be
> closed, I hope you'll consider these few points.
>
> As a "breast-feeding father", I have never thought myself to be excluded
> from the act of feeding/nurturing our babies. If anything, I feel I
> have bonded MORE with our children because of breastfeeding. When I
> watch how babies cuddle into the breast, breathe in their mother's
> scent, burrow ever deeper into her bosom, run their tiny fingers over
> their mother's body, and play footsies all over their mama, it totally
> melts my heart. I was a bottle-fed baby, and although I don't have any
> memories of that, I now know what I would have preferred. My children
> are learning a level of intimacy, sensitivity and love that I think I
> missed out on. As our babies have nursed, I have often found myself
> drawn in by the beauty of what I am seeing, and lay down beside my wife
> and baby to cuddle them both. Quite a change for a formerly insensitive
> and self-centred jock!
>
> I consider myself to be essential to my babies' breastfeeding also, for
> the simple reason that I make it possible for my wife to break away from
> some of her tasks to have quiet time to nurse our babies. Of course, I
> can't do this when I'm away at work, but when I'm home, it's my greatest
> pleasure to enable my babies to nurse. Then, I have made the time to
> bond with our babies by changing their diapers, dressing them, walking,
> rocking, bathing and napping with them, etc.
>
> >From a purely financial standpoint, I can only say how grateful I am
> that nature has provided breast-milk for babies. I don't know HOW we
> could ever have afforded the $1,500.+ it would cost to bottle-feed a
> baby per year. Furthermore, I don't really think that a father bonds in
> the same way by bottle-feeding a baby, that I have in participating in
> the breast-feeding of our babies. My father bottle-fed me, but he still
> never learned to be sensitive or emotionally intimate with his children.
> He simply FED me.
>
> In summary, I cannot express adequately just how wonderful an experience
> it has been for ME to be part of our breast-feeding team. Like Sonia, I
> understand that there are those 1-2% of cases where breast-feeding is
> not possible for medical reasons. But I strongly encourage it for all
> the other fathers, if it's at all an option for them......
>
> Damian.
>
> Ron and Stephanie wrote:
> >
> > My DH was the one that started this whole thing by being uncomfortable
about
> > breastfeeding. We have talked about positives/negatives of it, and he
knows
> > all the feelings expressed here. I truly feel that he would be more
confused
> > by this than if he were to just walk in to my blatant disregard of his
> > feelings, and was nursing. I cannot speak for the reasons that my DH
would
> > rather I not nurse, only that we have discussed it (in length) and that
we
> > have agreed on expressing milk for the baby. Is that not the next best
> > thing? Not one person has even complemented him on that decision. I
just
> > wanted more information about LLL so I could help him with any ?? he
may
> > have in the future. That didn't even happen. I know that this entire
process
> > has been a joint venture, DH and I, since I could not get pregnant
without a
> > medical staff (and DH). Since EVERYTHING regarding a pregnancy has been
a
> > joint effort, why is it not right for him to join in the bonding and
> > feeding? I hope that since this is my DH we are speaking about, that
this
> > would now go to the dead topic section, for it is a finished topic in
our
> > home.
> > Thank you for all your opinions-
> > Ron and Stephanie
> >
> >
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>

[email protected]

Damian,
What a beautiful letter. It is so wonderful that you see yourself as
part of a breastfeeding team. I know my dh [darling husband] felt the same
way, but you put it into words. Jackie

Lynda

He He He He <<<BEWG>>> DH usually means "dear" husband but you can guess
what it can also mean, given the husband in question and the comments in
context.

Lynda

----------
> From: Sonia Ulan <sulan@...>
> To: [email protected]
> Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] A father's view
> Date: Monday, April 10, 2000 2:25 AM
>
> Hello, one and all,
>
> It's time for another father to speak to this issue. I am Sonia's
> husband (BTW, what IS a "DH"?). Although you want this subject to be
> closed, I hope you'll consider these few points.
>
> As a "breast-feeding father", I have never thought myself to be excluded
> from the act of feeding/nurturing our babies. If anything, I feel I
> have bonded MORE with our children because of breastfeeding. When I
> watch how babies cuddle into the breast, breathe in their mother's
> scent, burrow ever deeper into her bosom, run their tiny fingers over
> their mother's body, and play footsies all over their mama, it totally
> melts my heart. I was a bottle-fed baby, and although I don't have any
> memories of that, I now know what I would have preferred. My children
> are learning a level of intimacy, sensitivity and love that I think I
> missed out on. As our babies have nursed, I have often found myself
> drawn in by the beauty of what I am seeing, and lay down beside my wife
> and baby to cuddle them both. Quite a change for a formerly insensitive
> and self-centred jock!
>
> I consider myself to be essential to my babies' breastfeeding also, for
> the simple reason that I make it possible for my wife to break away from
> some of her tasks to have quiet time to nurse our babies. Of course, I
> can't do this when I'm away at work, but when I'm home, it's my greatest
> pleasure to enable my babies to nurse. Then, I have made the time to
> bond with our babies by changing their diapers, dressing them, walking,
> rocking, bathing and napping with them, etc.
>
> >From a purely financial standpoint, I can only say how grateful I am
> that nature has provided breast-milk for babies. I don't know HOW we
> could ever have afforded the $1,500.+ it would cost to bottle-feed a
> baby per year. Furthermore, I don't really think that a father bonds in
> the same way by bottle-feeding a baby, that I have in participating in
> the breast-feeding of our babies. My father bottle-fed me, but he still
> never learned to be sensitive or emotionally intimate with his children.
> He simply FED me.
>
> In summary, I cannot express adequately just how wonderful an experience
> it has been for ME to be part of our breast-feeding team. Like Sonia, I
> understand that there are those 1-2% of cases where breast-feeding is
> not possible for medical reasons. But I strongly encourage it for all
> the other fathers, if it's at all an option for them......
>
> Damian.
>
> Ron and Stephanie wrote:
> >
> > My DH was the one that started this whole thing by being uncomfortable
about
> > breastfeeding. We have talked about positives/negatives of it, and he
knows
> > all the feelings expressed here. I truly feel that he would be more
confused
> > by this than if he were to just walk in to my blatant disregard of his
> > feelings, and was nursing. I cannot speak for the reasons that my DH
would
> > rather I not nurse, only that we have discussed it (in length) and that
we
> > have agreed on expressing milk for the baby. Is that not the next best
> > thing? Not one person has even complemented him on that decision. I
just
> > wanted more information about LLL so I could help him with any ?? he
may
> > have in the future. That didn't even happen. I know that this entire
process
> > has been a joint venture, DH and I, since I could not get pregnant
without a
> > medical staff (and DH). Since EVERYTHING regarding a pregnancy has been
a
> > joint effort, why is it not right for him to join in the bonding and
> > feeding? I hope that since this is my DH we are speaking about, that
this
> > would now go to the dead topic section, for it is a finished topic in
our
> > home.
> > Thank you for all your opinions-
> > Ron and Stephanie
> >
> >
------------------------------------------------------------------------
> > LOW RATE, NO WAIT!
> > Get a NextCard Visa, in 30 seconds! Get rates
> > as low as 2.9% Intro or 9.9% Fixed APR and no hidden fees.
> > Learn more at:
> > http://click.egroups.com/1/937/7/_/448294/_/955213869/
> >
------------------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
> > Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
> >
> > To Unsubscribe: mailto:[email protected]
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> PERFORM CPR ON YOUR APR!
> Get a NextCard Visa, in 30 seconds! Get rates as low as
> 0.0% Intro or 9.9% Fixed APR and no hidden fees.
> Apply NOW!
> http://click.egroups.com/1/2121/7/_/448294/_/955358001/
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
> Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> To Unsubscribe: mailto:[email protected]
>

Joshua Heath

Good Morning,
OK, I have to get a word in here too....
My wife was able to nurse beautifully with both our boys and for that I am
thankful as well. But I have seen my sister in law recently go through
breastfeeding problems (challenges!!) that really opened my eyes to how much
of an unbelievable challenge it can be. She had all kinds of support ( her
Midwife, My wife who is also a Midwife, and a lactation consultant) but she
still says labout was nothing in comparison to the emotional challenges of
the first couple of months of breastfeeding. Since then I have noticed many
other of my wife's clients with similar challenges. It can be a enormous
challenge, and, for instance, if my sister in law had not been successful at
surmounting all her challenges, I would NEVER hold it against her... even if
it was medically possible. I think that by saying there are only 1-2% of
women who cannot breastfeed that it invalidates the experiences of so many
women who have such extreme challenges, which may come from a variety of
sources... The last thing a woman needs after deciding it is too
challenging for HER to breastfeed is a whole lot of guilt. On the other
hand, I am completely in favor of promoting breastfeeding as the first
choice, and providing all the support and information that can be provided
to make the chances of success as high as possible.
Just another mans openion....
(I feel funny chiming in on this topic as a man... but I have been reading
the posts for a long time... and I feel I shouldn't hold back my thoughts
just on account of my gender)
Joshua

check out www.alladvantage.com to get paid to surf the net.
MY user ID# is LUZ-400
----- Original Message -----
From: Sonia Ulan <sulan@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Monday, April 10, 2000 2:25 AM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] A father's view


> Hello, one and all,
>
> It's time for another father to speak to this issue. I am Sonia's
> husband (BTW, what IS a "DH"?). Although you want this subject to be
> closed, I hope you'll consider these few points.
>
> As a "breast-feeding father", I have never thought myself to be excluded
> from the act of feeding/nurturing our babies. If anything, I feel I
> have bonded MORE with our children because of breastfeeding. When I
> watch how babies cuddle into the breast, breathe in their mother's
> scent, burrow ever deeper into her bosom, run their tiny fingers over
> their mother's body, and play footsies all over their mama, it totally
> melts my heart. I was a bottle-fed baby, and although I don't have any
> memories of that, I now know what I would have preferred. My children
> are learning a level of intimacy, sensitivity and love that I think I
> missed out on. As our babies have nursed, I have often found myself
> drawn in by the beauty of what I am seeing, and lay down beside my wife
> and baby to cuddle them both. Quite a change for a formerly insensitive
> and self-centred jock!
>
> I consider myself to be essential to my babies' breastfeeding also, for
> the simple reason that I make it possible for my wife to break away from
> some of her tasks to have quiet time to nurse our babies. Of course, I
> can't do this when I'm away at work, but when I'm home, it's my greatest
> pleasure to enable my babies to nurse. Then, I have made the time to
> bond with our babies by changing their diapers, dressing them, walking,
> rocking, bathing and napping with them, etc.
>
> >From a purely financial standpoint, I can only say how grateful I am
> that nature has provided breast-milk for babies. I don't know HOW we
> could ever have afforded the $1,500.+ it would cost to bottle-feed a
> baby per year. Furthermore, I don't really think that a father bonds in
> the same way by bottle-feeding a baby, that I have in participating in
> the breast-feeding of our babies. My father bottle-fed me, but he still
> never learned to be sensitive or emotionally intimate with his children.
> He simply FED me.
>
> In summary, I cannot express adequately just how wonderful an experience
> it has been for ME to be part of our breast-feeding team. Like Sonia, I
> understand that there are those 1-2% of cases where breast-feeding is
> not possible for medical reasons. But I strongly encourage it for all
> the other fathers, if it's at all an option for them......
>
> Damian.
>
> Ron and Stephanie wrote:
> >
> > My DH was the one that started this whole thing by being uncomfortable
about
> > breastfeeding. We have talked about positives/negatives of it, and he
knows
> > all the feelings expressed here. I truly feel that he would be more
confused
> > by this than if he were to just walk in to my blatant disregard of his
> > feelings, and was nursing. I cannot speak for the reasons that my DH
would
> > rather I not nurse, only that we have discussed it (in length) and that
we
> > have agreed on expressing milk for the baby. Is that not the next best
> > thing? Not one person has even complemented him on that decision. I just
> > wanted more information about LLL so I could help him with any ?? he may
> > have in the future. That didn't even happen. I know that this entire
process
> > has been a joint venture, DH and I, since I could not get pregnant
without a
> > medical staff (and DH). Since EVERYTHING regarding a pregnancy has been
a
> > joint effort, why is it not right for him to join in the bonding and
> > feeding? I hope that since this is my DH we are speaking about, that
this
> > would now go to the dead topic section, for it is a finished topic in
our
> > home.
> > Thank you for all your opinions-
> > Ron and Stephanie
> >
> > ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> > LOW RATE, NO WAIT!
> > Get a NextCard Visa, in 30 seconds! Get rates
> > as low as 2.9% Intro or 9.9% Fixed APR and no hidden fees.
> > Learn more at:
> > http://click.egroups.com/1/937/7/_/448294/_/955213869/
> > ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> >
> > Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
> > Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
> >
> > To Unsubscribe: mailto:[email protected]
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> PERFORM CPR ON YOUR APR!
> Get a NextCard Visa, in 30 seconds! Get rates as low as
> 0.0% Intro or 9.9% Fixed APR and no hidden fees.
> Apply NOW!
> http://click.egroups.com/1/2121/7/_/448294/_/955358001/
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
> Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> To Unsubscribe: mailto:[email protected]
>
>
>