Bronwen

>>My son joined football a week or so ago and he has decided to not play.
Friday he began to cry and said he didn't want to go (he also had the flu).
He said
he knows we paid the 75.00 for him to play but it just isn't the way he
remembers>>

I am not at the conference (and it is here in my town!). From what you
describe of this team- he has made a very good decision. I came from a
"sports" family- I was on every team, because it was the only thing my dad
thought was interesting I guess. Anyway, I once quit a basketball team when
I was a junior in high school. I was torn up about the idea of "quitting"-
until my former basketball coach, who was helping me with my predicament
said- "If your hand was in a machine that had this big mallet that was
pounding down on it rythmically, would you be a quitter if you took your
hand out?".

Anyway, trust him. And you saying, "you know, I trust you and I realize you
didn't think it was going to be like this and your father and I know you are
not a quitter, you are just making a decision that you need to- don't worry
about the 75 dollars.." would be really cool- you guys are on the same
side. Think if you gave a 75 dollar gift to your very best friend, but she
took it back with no refund because it was causing her physical, emotional
and mental harm (can't imagine what kind of gift that would be!- some
necklace that she was allergic to- ha!), you would definately not ask for
the money back. The love for your kid is so much more than even your best
friend- the decision is quite simple when I think of it that way.

Hard to get out of the "training your kid" mind set, (as in "he has to learn
follow-through and COMMItment! he can't be a quitter! I'll teach him, he
needs to learn about consequences!") but really worth it.

In the new "teach your own" there is a part about a football coach who does
everything differently- it doesnt have to suck so bad.

love, Bronwen