Quitting sports
[email protected]
My son joined football a week or so ago and he has decided to not play.
Friday he began to cry and said he didn't want to go (he also had the flu). He said
he knows we paid the 75.00 for him to play but it just isn't the way he
remembers.
I have had some concerns about the rules for instance:1. If the child gets in
trouble in school they will also be punished on the field. (Doesn't apply to
us but I thought it was soo wrong) 2. Coaches have been swearing at the kids,
just hits me wrong..
and 3 practice has been m-f way too much for peewee I think. Oh and not to
mention the boy who says suck my 9 and other penile references. Ugh...
I signed an agreement that our funds are non refundable but under the
circumstances should I try to get it back? What would you all do? Would you tell them
the concerns or no?
I am not really wanting to look like the odd ball homeschoolers (its all the
same to people here) but I don't know what else to do. My husband began to
comment today and I just looked at him and shook my head. He was bothered by the
money spent not the quitting part.
Am I a wimpy parent for letting him just quit? I feel in my gut it would be
wrong to make him play and I know there are parents that do make their kids
stick it out as they say its all part of life. I could never do that and never
have.
Laura
Oh my gosh I just realized when you all are at the conference the list will
be wicked slow, bummer...
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Friday he began to cry and said he didn't want to go (he also had the flu). He said
he knows we paid the 75.00 for him to play but it just isn't the way he
remembers.
I have had some concerns about the rules for instance:1. If the child gets in
trouble in school they will also be punished on the field. (Doesn't apply to
us but I thought it was soo wrong) 2. Coaches have been swearing at the kids,
just hits me wrong..
and 3 practice has been m-f way too much for peewee I think. Oh and not to
mention the boy who says suck my 9 and other penile references. Ugh...
I signed an agreement that our funds are non refundable but under the
circumstances should I try to get it back? What would you all do? Would you tell them
the concerns or no?
I am not really wanting to look like the odd ball homeschoolers (its all the
same to people here) but I don't know what else to do. My husband began to
comment today and I just looked at him and shook my head. He was bothered by the
money spent not the quitting part.
Am I a wimpy parent for letting him just quit? I feel in my gut it would be
wrong to make him play and I know there are parents that do make their kids
stick it out as they say its all part of life. I could never do that and never
have.
Laura
Oh my gosh I just realized when you all are at the conference the list will
be wicked slow, bummer...
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Crystal
-=Am I a wimpy parent for letting him just quit?=-
In my opinion, I would ask your son how he feels. Does he want to quit? To
me that is your answer. I think it is much more wimpy if you force him to
stay just because you are afraid of what the other mothers would think.
Suppose you joined, oh, I don't know, lets say a health club. You go to
this health club and find that the physical therapists swear at you and the
other patrons sit around making dirty jokes, and then you find out the
program will do you no good unless you go there 5 days a week, would you
stick it out because you paid for it or would you quit?
-=I feel in my gut it would be wrong to make him play=-
Crystal
In my opinion, I would ask your son how he feels. Does he want to quit? To
me that is your answer. I think it is much more wimpy if you force him to
stay just because you are afraid of what the other mothers would think.
Suppose you joined, oh, I don't know, lets say a health club. You go to
this health club and find that the physical therapists swear at you and the
other patrons sit around making dirty jokes, and then you find out the
program will do you no good unless you go there 5 days a week, would you
stick it out because you paid for it or would you quit?
-=I feel in my gut it would be wrong to make him play=-
Crystal
Pam Hartley
> I signed an agreement that our funds are non refundable but under theNope.
> circumstances should I try to get it back?
> What would you all do?Tell my son cheerfully, "Not a problem. I try new things, or try again old
things, about a million times per year and often find they're not for me
right now. Sometimes I go back to them, sometimes I don't. And sometimes I
find something I really enjoy and stick with it. Lots of people, probably
most people, do that."
> Would youAbsolutely. It never hurts to politely inform organized groups about what
> tell them
> the concerns or no?
you think they're doing wrong AND right. Keep it calm and factual.\
>He was bothered by theThat's a husband problem and his own thing to work on. :) How many projects
> money spent not the quitting part.
or activities has your husband started, this year or over the past few
years, that he spent some significant amount of money on (say $75 or more)
and rarely if ever touches these days?
> Am I a wimpy parent for letting him just quit? I feel in my gut it would beI'm glad. I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate it if your husband decided to
> wrong to make him play and I know there are parents that do make their kids
> stick it out as they say its all part of life. I could never do that and never
> have.
make you continue in an activity or hobby you didn't want to. Being short
and dependent on us doesn't make a child less deserving of the same respect
of their time and interest.
Best,
Pam
Robyn Coburn
<<I signed an agreement that our funds are non refundable but under the
circumstances should I try to get it back? What would you all do? Would
you tell them the concerns or no?....
Am I a wimpy parent for letting him just quit? I feel in my gut it would
be wrong to make him play and I know there are parents that do make
their kids stick it out as they say its all part of life. I could never
do that and never have.>>
If Jayn decides she doesn't want to continue ice-skating we will not
return, no arguments or cajoling - it is entirely her choice to do
something that is for her benefit and enjoyment, not mine. Your gut is
the best barometer you have. Going against all the crummy conventional
wisdom about "making" kids stick out bad situations shows you are the
polar opposite of a wimpy parent. Maybe ask your husband if your son's
love and trust are worth more or less than $75.
Robyn Coburn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
circumstances should I try to get it back? What would you all do? Would
you tell them the concerns or no?....
Am I a wimpy parent for letting him just quit? I feel in my gut it would
be wrong to make him play and I know there are parents that do make
their kids stick it out as they say its all part of life. I could never
do that and never have.>>
If Jayn decides she doesn't want to continue ice-skating we will not
return, no arguments or cajoling - it is entirely her choice to do
something that is for her benefit and enjoyment, not mine. Your gut is
the best barometer you have. Going against all the crummy conventional
wisdom about "making" kids stick out bad situations shows you are the
polar opposite of a wimpy parent. Maybe ask your husband if your son's
love and trust are worth more or less than $75.
Robyn Coburn
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Shyrley
HMSL2@... wrote:
I'd let him quit if he wanted too but I would make an attempt to get
the money back. Generally complaining and sheer pig-headedness and
always got me a refund. I even get the bank to give me back the money
they charge me when I go overdrawn :-)
I would talk to the coach and remind him that these are 9 yo and you
didn't sign up for swearing and bullying. Its a game! I would them
hassle whoever does the money.
As for letting him quit.....it was his choice to start the game, it
should be his choice to finish it when he wants, withouth guilt over the
money. He's a bit young for financial burdens. I don't undertsnd parents
who *make* their child stick it out. It breeds resentment and loathing
of the game or activity. Activities should be fun, not an obligation.
My daughter quit Tae kwon Do after a year. I felt a bit of
disappointment cos she was doing so well, but it was her doing it, not
me! A year later she'd like to restart which is fi ne by me even though
it will be for a short time only as we leave the country some time
before Xmas. She will have fun in those weeks she does it.
Shyrley
>My son joined football a week or so ago and he has decided to not play.I'm not :-)
>Friday he began to cry and said he didn't want to go (he also had the flu). He said
>he knows we paid the 75.00 for him to play but it just isn't the way he
>remembers.
>
>I have had some concerns about the rules for instance:1. If the child gets in
>trouble in school they will also be punished on the field. (Doesn't apply to
>us but I thought it was soo wrong) 2. Coaches have been swearing at the kids,
>just hits me wrong..
>and 3 practice has been m-f way too much for peewee I think. Oh and not to
>mention the boy who says suck my 9 and other penile references. Ugh...
>
>I signed an agreement that our funds are non refundable but under the
>circumstances should I try to get it back? What would you all do? Would you tell them
>the concerns or no?
>I am not really wanting to look like the odd ball homeschoolers (its all the
>same to people here) but I don't know what else to do. My husband began to
>comment today and I just looked at him and shook my head. He was bothered by the
>money spent not the quitting part.
>
>Am I a wimpy parent for letting him just quit? I feel in my gut it would be
>wrong to make him play and I know there are parents that do make their kids
>stick it out as they say its all part of life. I could never do that and never
>have.
>
>Laura
>Oh my gosh I just realized when you all are at the conference the list will
>be wicked slow, bummer...
>
>
>
I'd let him quit if he wanted too but I would make an attempt to get
the money back. Generally complaining and sheer pig-headedness and
always got me a refund. I even get the bank to give me back the money
they charge me when I go overdrawn :-)
I would talk to the coach and remind him that these are 9 yo and you
didn't sign up for swearing and bullying. Its a game! I would them
hassle whoever does the money.
As for letting him quit.....it was his choice to start the game, it
should be his choice to finish it when he wants, withouth guilt over the
money. He's a bit young for financial burdens. I don't undertsnd parents
who *make* their child stick it out. It breeds resentment and loathing
of the game or activity. Activities should be fun, not an obligation.
My daughter quit Tae kwon Do after a year. I felt a bit of
disappointment cos she was doing so well, but it was her doing it, not
me! A year later she'd like to restart which is fi ne by me even though
it will be for a short time only as we leave the country some time
before Xmas. She will have fun in those weeks she does it.
Shyrley
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/16/03 8:26:12 PM, HMSL2@... writes:
<< I signed an agreement that our funds are non refundable but under the
circumstances should I try to get it back? What would you all do? Would you
tell them
the concerns or no? >>
You might write the complaints down and ask for your money back, and if they
say no then distribute your complaints to other parents, say you KNOW you
won't have a refund, but that doesn't mean they have to put up with abusive
conditions themselves, and they should complain.
Maybe.
<<He was bothered by the
money spent not the quitting part.
Once they're bought, the money's gone. Will you eat a stale donut two days
later just to get your money's worth? It's better to throw some away than to
run them through your digestive tract over some odd money-issue.
So if you pay $75 and he has suffered a little already, will it be a better
use of $75 if he suffers lots more?
Sandra
<< I signed an agreement that our funds are non refundable but under the
circumstances should I try to get it back? What would you all do? Would you
tell them
the concerns or no? >>
You might write the complaints down and ask for your money back, and if they
say no then distribute your complaints to other parents, say you KNOW you
won't have a refund, but that doesn't mean they have to put up with abusive
conditions themselves, and they should complain.
Maybe.
<<He was bothered by the
money spent not the quitting part.
>>My mental image for things like that is buying a dozen donuts.
Once they're bought, the money's gone. Will you eat a stale donut two days
later just to get your money's worth? It's better to throw some away than to
run them through your digestive tract over some odd money-issue.
So if you pay $75 and he has suffered a little already, will it be a better
use of $75 if he suffers lots more?
Sandra
[email protected]
HMSL2@... writes:
He wants to quit, he's crying, he's being sworn at, cut your losses.
I understand about the money, $75 is a lot, for me anyway, but honestly, not
as important as your kid.
Chalk it up as a learning experience. Research more before you sign up for
stuff. Is there possibly any other team anywhere near you where your kid could
be safer and have more fun? Could you try and start one? I betcha you're
not the only parent who hears this stuff and is concerned.
~Aimee
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> LauraThere will be some of us here, like me!
> Oh my gosh I just realized when you all are at the conference the list will
> be wicked slow, bummer...
He wants to quit, he's crying, he's being sworn at, cut your losses.
I understand about the money, $75 is a lot, for me anyway, but honestly, not
as important as your kid.
Chalk it up as a learning experience. Research more before you sign up for
stuff. Is there possibly any other team anywhere near you where your kid could
be safer and have more fun? Could you try and start one? I betcha you're
not the only parent who hears this stuff and is concerned.
~Aimee
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
I hear ya. I read him (my husband) someone's post last night and he just
looked at me. He knows what its like to be teased and yelled at its a soft spot
with him. The post about the health club hit me like a brick it was so true.
I did tell Dustin that I didn't blame him for not wanting to play I wouldn't
either. I also told him not to worry about the money. No one here in our town
gets the caring parent stuff it drives me nuts how they think. A mom at
football that I liked said Wednesday that kids need to deal with the hurdles in
school and not run away from it. Of coarse this was after we discussed what
choices we had made as a family.
He bought a 4 wheeler cheep yesterday. He is at the garage with his dad
welding a piece then off to the ATV store. He is on cloud nine. He has wanted a 4
wheeler for a couple years now. He sold his motorcycle on Ebay for 600, bought
his ATV yesterday for 200. They thought the engine was seized turns out it was
just a timing chain. So with 400 in his pocket he is out shopping for some
cool gear and a helmet.
I think we are all less stressed now that football has been kicked to the
curb.
Laura
<<<<My mental image for things like that is buying a dozen donuts.
Once they're bought, the money's gone. Will you eat a stale donut two days
later just to get your money's worth? It's better to throw some away than to
run them through your digestive tract over some odd money-issue.
So if you pay $75 and he has suffered a little already, will it be a better
use of $75 if he suffers lots more?
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
looked at me. He knows what its like to be teased and yelled at its a soft spot
with him. The post about the health club hit me like a brick it was so true.
I did tell Dustin that I didn't blame him for not wanting to play I wouldn't
either. I also told him not to worry about the money. No one here in our town
gets the caring parent stuff it drives me nuts how they think. A mom at
football that I liked said Wednesday that kids need to deal with the hurdles in
school and not run away from it. Of coarse this was after we discussed what
choices we had made as a family.
He bought a 4 wheeler cheep yesterday. He is at the garage with his dad
welding a piece then off to the ATV store. He is on cloud nine. He has wanted a 4
wheeler for a couple years now. He sold his motorcycle on Ebay for 600, bought
his ATV yesterday for 200. They thought the engine was seized turns out it was
just a timing chain. So with 400 in his pocket he is out shopping for some
cool gear and a helmet.
I think we are all less stressed now that football has been kicked to the
curb.
Laura
<<<<My mental image for things like that is buying a dozen donuts.
Once they're bought, the money's gone. Will you eat a stale donut two days
later just to get your money's worth? It's better to throw some away than to
run them through your digestive tract over some odd money-issue.
So if you pay $75 and he has suffered a little already, will it be a better
use of $75 if he suffers lots more?
Sandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
Nah we've tried Soccer for three years and football twice nothing changes
around here. Wrestling was even worse. One time we where at a meet and a dad ran
up to his son and put his hand around his throat and pinned him against the
wall. I was 9 months pregnant and said to him what is your problem he got right
in my face (he was a big man) and he said what did you say I said you herd me!
He left the meet.
Laura
<<<Chalk it up as a learning experience. Research more before you sign up
for
stuff. Is there possibly any other team anywhere near you where your kid
could
be safer and have more fun? Could you try and start one? I betcha you're
not the only parent who hears this stuff and is concerned.
~Aimee
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
around here. Wrestling was even worse. One time we where at a meet and a dad ran
up to his son and put his hand around his throat and pinned him against the
wall. I was 9 months pregnant and said to him what is your problem he got right
in my face (he was a big man) and he said what did you say I said you herd me!
He left the meet.
Laura
<<<Chalk it up as a learning experience. Research more before you sign up
for
stuff. Is there possibly any other team anywhere near you where your kid
could
be safer and have more fun? Could you try and start one? I betcha you're
not the only parent who hears this stuff and is concerned.
~Aimee
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/17/03 7:49:38 AM, shyrley@... writes:
<< I don't undertsnd parents
who *make* their child stick it out. It breeds resentment and loathing
of the game or activity. >>
And of the parents.
Sandra
<< I don't undertsnd parents
who *make* their child stick it out. It breeds resentment and loathing
of the game or activity. >>
And of the parents.
Sandra
Odrade
--- HMSL2@... wrote:
[I am not really wanting to look like the odd ball
homeschoolers]
Is what people think of you more important that your
son's feelings? Of course you don't think that, but
when you word it that way it seems so obvious, doesn't
it? LOL
I'd try to get the $ back and complain about the
coach, but I'd also be fully prepared to just eat the
loss and chalk it up to experience.
HTH, TreeGoddess
__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! SiteBuilder - Free, easy-to-use web site design software
http://sitebuilder.yahoo.com
[I am not really wanting to look like the odd ball
homeschoolers]
Is what people think of you more important that your
son's feelings? Of course you don't think that, but
when you word it that way it seems so obvious, doesn't
it? LOL
I'd try to get the $ back and complain about the
coach, but I'd also be fully prepared to just eat the
loss and chalk it up to experience.
HTH, TreeGoddess
__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! SiteBuilder - Free, easy-to-use web site design software
http://sitebuilder.yahoo.com
[email protected]
HMSL2@... writes:
He hates rules and regs. We go to the forest preserve, some kids will join
in, and we all have fun. Baseball, football, soccer, those can all be pick up
games. Basketball is harder cause we have to find a open court, but some
people have hoops in their driveways, here, in the alleys, too.
~Aimee
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> Nah we've tried Soccer for three years and football twice nothing changesIm so sorry. We are not joiners, and when Alex wants to play, we go play.
> around here.
He hates rules and regs. We go to the forest preserve, some kids will join
in, and we all have fun. Baseball, football, soccer, those can all be pick up
games. Basketball is harder cause we have to find a open court, but some
people have hoops in their driveways, here, in the alleys, too.
~Aimee
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/17/2003 12:52:44 PM Eastern Standard Time, HMSL2@...
writes:
then speak to a pregnant woman in this way, can you imagine the kind of life
this kid has at home?? I hope it was reported.
Nancy B. in WV
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
writes:
> One time we where at a meet and a dad ranStuff like this scares me. If he's bold enough to choke his son in public
> up to his son and put his hand around his throat and pinned him against the
> wall. I was 9 months pregnant and said to him what is your problem he got
> right
> in my face (he was a big man) and he said what did you say I said you herd
> me!
> He left the meet.
> Laura
>
then speak to a pregnant woman in this way, can you imagine the kind of life
this kid has at home?? I hope it was reported.
Nancy B. in WV
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/17/03 3:29:20 PM, CelticFrau@... writes:
<< Stuff like this scares me. If he's bold enough to choke his son in public
then speak to a pregnant woman in this way, can you imagine the kind of life
this kid has at home?? I hope it was reported.
moms. <g>
Was this the list I told about going into the vacant lot and having words
with my verbally abusive neighbor behind me?
The police were looking for him last week with a HELICOPTER (and three cars).
Do I know how to pick 'em or what? <g>
Sandra
<< Stuff like this scares me. If he's bold enough to choke his son in public
then speak to a pregnant woman in this way, can you imagine the kind of life
this kid has at home?? I hope it was reported.
>>I hope he became afraid of pregnant women everywhere, and of other people's
moms. <g>
Was this the list I told about going into the vacant lot and having words
with my verbally abusive neighbor behind me?
The police were looking for him last week with a HELICOPTER (and three cars).
Do I know how to pick 'em or what? <g>
Sandra
Nora or Devereaux Cannon
By all means quit - BUT don't quit while he has the flu. Lots
of things look bad when you feel bad. If the virus is talking
not him then you will not have heard him.
of things look bad when you feel bad. If the virus is talking
not him then you will not have heard him.
[email protected]
Yeah I was thinking that on Friday but once he got his four wheeler he said
he was defiantly done. Not only that but it has been hard for me also because
Nicholas the youngest (14 mo) fractured his wrist crawling off a toddler bed in
my daughters room and now has a cast on. They didn't splint because they said
he would take it off but it is hard to keep him clean and limited baths. The
playground is right next to the football field. A splint for play and a second
back up would have been better.
My husband says don't turn in the gear until our funds are returned. I think
I am going to do that. They can challenge me all they want. Seems odd that
they are too young to work if they want but they can push them for 2 hrs and 45
minutes with three 10 second water breaks and hostile answers if they need to
use the restroom.
This summer has been a great summer for friends and him getting out so he is
feeling the limit to friends also.
I'll let you all know what happens.
Thank you for the encouraging words.
Laura
<<By all means quit - BUT don't quit while he has the flu. Lots
of things look bad when you feel bad. If the virus is talking
not him then you will not have heard him.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
he was defiantly done. Not only that but it has been hard for me also because
Nicholas the youngest (14 mo) fractured his wrist crawling off a toddler bed in
my daughters room and now has a cast on. They didn't splint because they said
he would take it off but it is hard to keep him clean and limited baths. The
playground is right next to the football field. A splint for play and a second
back up would have been better.
My husband says don't turn in the gear until our funds are returned. I think
I am going to do that. They can challenge me all they want. Seems odd that
they are too young to work if they want but they can push them for 2 hrs and 45
minutes with three 10 second water breaks and hostile answers if they need to
use the restroom.
This summer has been a great summer for friends and him getting out so he is
feeling the limit to friends also.
I'll let you all know what happens.
Thank you for the encouraging words.
Laura
<<By all means quit - BUT don't quit while he has the flu. Lots
of things look bad when you feel bad. If the virus is talking
not him then you will not have heard him.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/17/2003 1:01:38 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
other children is counting on said child to help them finish the season and
compete for what they all signed on to do, then it might be useful to examine if the
child is really desperate to quit or just had a rough day.
There were days that I've wanted to quit things too, out of frustration or
being tired or not feeling well or some offhanded comment. There are things I'm
glad now that I didn't quit.
But I agree if after much examination, and not just a surface level I want to
quit, the child is miserable doing what he committed to do, then by all means
let him leave the team.
Sports should be about fun and exercise and being part of a team. Negativity
isn't something that makes playing a sport fun, especially if a family
doesn't want to be there.
glena
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SandraDodd@... writes:
> I don't undertsnd parentsSome would say it builds character. If they joined a team and a team of
>
> who *make* their child stick it out. It breeds resentment and loathing
>
> of the game or activity. >>
>
> And of the parents.
>
> Sandra
>
other children is counting on said child to help them finish the season and
compete for what they all signed on to do, then it might be useful to examine if the
child is really desperate to quit or just had a rough day.
There were days that I've wanted to quit things too, out of frustration or
being tired or not feeling well or some offhanded comment. There are things I'm
glad now that I didn't quit.
But I agree if after much examination, and not just a surface level I want to
quit, the child is miserable doing what he committed to do, then by all means
let him leave the team.
Sports should be about fun and exercise and being part of a team. Negativity
isn't something that makes playing a sport fun, especially if a family
doesn't want to be there.
glena
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
susan marie
Write a letter to the director of the program, not the coaches, and
explain what your problems are with the program and why you want your
money refunded. Yes, you signed an agreement, but it was in good faith -
meaning you expected something from the program and you didn't get that.
Be polite, professional. We have done this before. They were snotty, and
only pro-rated the refund - after only two practices. We no longer take
programs at this particular organization but that's okay. There are
better programs over in Ocean City and our kids have a lot of friends
there, so now we drive the 30 minutes.
And don't take "no" for an answer. People who provide youth programming
have a responsibility to provide good programming - and abusive language
doesn't fall into that category. If they turn you down, write another
letter to someone higher up the food chain, and copy the first person.
This often works very well. The key is to be reasonable, calm, and state
the facts. (I was a coach, and have worked in sports administration -
there is no reason to tolerate this. Kids have a right to a safe place
to play, and that includes the language and behavior of the coaches and
other participants.)
As for "letting him quit" -- kids do much better at sports when it's fun
and their idea. As a coach, I hated having kids who didn't want to be
there - they could be the nicest kid in the world, but they should be
there because they want to. (just my two cents, fwiw). I coached
soccer, swimming and softball. My kids like dance and rock climbing (not
the same kids). I coached state champs and all-americans in swimming -
my kids hate competitive swimming. go figure. :-) ... the two best
swimmers I ever coached were there because it was their idea. imho, kids
have to try lots of stuff - some find what they like right away, some
have to try a lot of stuff, and sometimes we get stuck paying for stuff
that doesn't last. (anyone want to buy some lacrosse stuff? :-D
good luck,
susan
On Sunday, August 17, 2003,:
change the world; indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."
- Margaret Mead
Susan Marie, daughter of Joan, daughter of Marie, daughter of Rose Mary,
daughter of Mary, daughter of Ireland
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
explain what your problems are with the program and why you want your
money refunded. Yes, you signed an agreement, but it was in good faith -
meaning you expected something from the program and you didn't get that.
Be polite, professional. We have done this before. They were snotty, and
only pro-rated the refund - after only two practices. We no longer take
programs at this particular organization but that's okay. There are
better programs over in Ocean City and our kids have a lot of friends
there, so now we drive the 30 minutes.
And don't take "no" for an answer. People who provide youth programming
have a responsibility to provide good programming - and abusive language
doesn't fall into that category. If they turn you down, write another
letter to someone higher up the food chain, and copy the first person.
This often works very well. The key is to be reasonable, calm, and state
the facts. (I was a coach, and have worked in sports administration -
there is no reason to tolerate this. Kids have a right to a safe place
to play, and that includes the language and behavior of the coaches and
other participants.)
As for "letting him quit" -- kids do much better at sports when it's fun
and their idea. As a coach, I hated having kids who didn't want to be
there - they could be the nicest kid in the world, but they should be
there because they want to. (just my two cents, fwiw). I coached
soccer, swimming and softball. My kids like dance and rock climbing (not
the same kids). I coached state champs and all-americans in swimming -
my kids hate competitive swimming. go figure. :-) ... the two best
swimmers I ever coached were there because it was their idea. imho, kids
have to try lots of stuff - some find what they like right away, some
have to try a lot of stuff, and sometimes we get stuck paying for stuff
that doesn't last. (anyone want to buy some lacrosse stuff? :-D
good luck,
susan
On Sunday, August 17, 2003,:
> <<I signed an agreement that our funds are non refundable but under the"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can
> circumstances should I try to get it back? What would you all do? Would
> you tell them the concerns or no?....
> Am I a wimpy parent for letting him just quit? I feel in my gut it would
> be wrong to make him play and I know there are parents that do make
> their kids stick it out as they say its all part of life. I could never
> do that and never have.>>
>
>
change the world; indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."
- Margaret Mead
Susan Marie, daughter of Joan, daughter of Marie, daughter of Rose Mary,
daughter of Mary, daughter of Ireland
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]