difficulty making connections
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/5/03 6:27:29 PM, crystal.pina@... writes:
<< Could there be contrived playing? What I mean is if the mothers set
up their kids to play and the kids don't even know each other, don't
you think that's a bit contrived? >>
If the families already know each other except for that kid in school and the
families got together, it would be way less contrived than kids meeting each
other in school. At least there would be some common ground.
My kids were little when they were meeting other little unschoolers. Lots of
them are all in the 14-20 age range now, but they didn't meet as teens
(except a few through the other teens, which is also contrived, or not, depending on
the situation).
It's rough now, though, when someone just contacts me cold and says "I have a
14 year old boy; you do too." All I can ever say is "Is he interested in
gaming? Kirby works at Active Imagination, and I think Marty will be there
Wednesday." I can't just invite a kid over that age, alone, and ask my kids to
hang out.
Better when there are families involved or a real connection somehow.
Sandra
<< Could there be contrived playing? What I mean is if the mothers set
up their kids to play and the kids don't even know each other, don't
you think that's a bit contrived? >>
If the families already know each other except for that kid in school and the
families got together, it would be way less contrived than kids meeting each
other in school. At least there would be some common ground.
My kids were little when they were meeting other little unschoolers. Lots of
them are all in the 14-20 age range now, but they didn't meet as teens
(except a few through the other teens, which is also contrived, or not, depending on
the situation).
It's rough now, though, when someone just contacts me cold and says "I have a
14 year old boy; you do too." All I can ever say is "Is he interested in
gaming? Kirby works at Active Imagination, and I think Marty will be there
Wednesday." I can't just invite a kid over that age, alone, and ask my kids to
hang out.
Better when there are families involved or a real connection somehow.
Sandra
Nancy Liedel
My house is never clean enough to have kids I don't know over for a
playdate. I would feel like I had to scrub and I am no Martha Stuart.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
playdate. I would feel like I had to scrub and I am no Martha Stuart.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Shyrley
Nancy Liedel wrote:
Since when do kids care what a house looks like?
Maybe you'd feel better if you saw the total chaos I like in. The
Stepford patrol would complain
about their property prices if the insides of this house became common
knowledge!
Real friends come to see YOU, not your housework.
Shyrley
>My house is never clean enough to have kids I don't know over for a!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>playdate. I would feel like I had to scrub and I am no Martha Stuart.
>
>
>
>
Since when do kids care what a house looks like?
Maybe you'd feel better if you saw the total chaos I like in. The
Stepford patrol would complain
about their property prices if the insides of this house became common
knowledge!
Real friends come to see YOU, not your housework.
Shyrley
Nancy Liedel
Shyrley,
My friends cold care less what the place looks like, but most of them don't
have kids. We are working on making new friends for the boys.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
My friends cold care less what the place looks like, but most of them don't
have kids. We are working on making new friends for the boys.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/6/03 6:32:18 AM, naliedel@... writes:
<< My house is never clean enough to have kids I don't know over for a
playdate. I would feel like I had to scrub and I am no Martha Stuart.
If a kid for some reason DOES care, fine--he won't come back.
Your children are living their lives and if they need other people, that
need is bigger and more important than your need to feel proud of your house. If
you're not good at housekeeping, that's fine. Let it go. Don't take other
people down with you.
A messy house where people are calm is better in a dozen ways that a
sanitary, stark house with stress.
Sandra
<< My house is never clean enough to have kids I don't know over for a
playdate. I would feel like I had to scrub and I am no Martha Stuart.
>>Kids don't care.
If a kid for some reason DOES care, fine--he won't come back.
Your children are living their lives and if they need other people, that
need is bigger and more important than your need to feel proud of your house. If
you're not good at housekeeping, that's fine. Let it go. Don't take other
people down with you.
A messy house where people are calm is better in a dozen ways that a
sanitary, stark house with stress.
Sandra
coyote's corner
YES!!!
Thank you...can we put this on a bumper sticker??
Janis
Thank you...can we put this on a bumper sticker??
Janis
----- Original Message -----
From: SandraDodd@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, August 06, 2003 12:31 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-Discussion] difficulty making connections
In a message dated 8/6/03 6:32:18 AM, naliedel@... writes:
<< My house is never clean enough to have kids I don't know over for a
playdate. I would feel like I had to scrub and I am no Martha Stuart.
>>
Kids don't care.
If a kid for some reason DOES care, fine--he won't come back.
Your children are living their lives and if they need other people, that
need is bigger and more important than your need to feel proud of your house. If
you're not good at housekeeping, that's fine. Let it go. Don't take other
people down with you.
A messy house where people are calm is better in a dozen ways that a
sanitary, stark house with stress.
Sandra
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Mary
From: "Nancy Liedel" <naliedel@...
<< My house is never clean enough to have kids I don't know over for a
playdate. I would feel like I had to scrub and I am no Martha Stuart.>>
I don't mean this in a bad way, but it's your problem. You can get over it.
I take my kids every week to a house where we do crafts. The house is
nothing like mine at all. There is stuff everywhere. You have to move things
just to sit down on the couch or dining room chair. My first thought when I
went there was "Oh My!!" To myself of course. There are animals everywhere.
The house looks like a tornado when through it, literally. My kids
absolutely love going there. They can't wait for Wednesdays. It was
cancelled today and they were heartbroken. And you know what, even though I
would never have my house look that way, I love going over too. We all just
have the best time there and I really admire this woman to open her house up
to us all regardless of what it looks like. She did comment that she worries
about what others think, but doesn't care enough to stop because her kids
enjoy it so much. (having the others come over to play) I really try to use
this woman as an example to me and not be so darn anal about what my house
looks like when I have someone over. The kids really don't *see* it.
We went for the first time to a good friends house a couple weeks ago. They
always come over here. There's more to do here and I don't mind at all. When
we went to their house, the kids had fun. My mom was later asking me about
it and I mentioned how small the house was and how many people were there in
reference to Alyssa being very shy until some people left and there was room
to breath. Sierra heard me and asked me with much shock if I thought the
house was really small. She didn't think so at all. It was funny because I
could put there house inside my living and dining room. Made no difference
to me, but I realized how kids just don't see things like some of us do.
Invite the kids and people over, forget about worrying what they will think
and you will all have fun. And if by some chance they do have a problem with
it, they're probably not the kind of people you want to hang out with
anyway.
Mary B.
http://www.homeschoolingtshirts.com
<< My house is never clean enough to have kids I don't know over for a
playdate. I would feel like I had to scrub and I am no Martha Stuart.>>
I don't mean this in a bad way, but it's your problem. You can get over it.
I take my kids every week to a house where we do crafts. The house is
nothing like mine at all. There is stuff everywhere. You have to move things
just to sit down on the couch or dining room chair. My first thought when I
went there was "Oh My!!" To myself of course. There are animals everywhere.
The house looks like a tornado when through it, literally. My kids
absolutely love going there. They can't wait for Wednesdays. It was
cancelled today and they were heartbroken. And you know what, even though I
would never have my house look that way, I love going over too. We all just
have the best time there and I really admire this woman to open her house up
to us all regardless of what it looks like. She did comment that she worries
about what others think, but doesn't care enough to stop because her kids
enjoy it so much. (having the others come over to play) I really try to use
this woman as an example to me and not be so darn anal about what my house
looks like when I have someone over. The kids really don't *see* it.
We went for the first time to a good friends house a couple weeks ago. They
always come over here. There's more to do here and I don't mind at all. When
we went to their house, the kids had fun. My mom was later asking me about
it and I mentioned how small the house was and how many people were there in
reference to Alyssa being very shy until some people left and there was room
to breath. Sierra heard me and asked me with much shock if I thought the
house was really small. She didn't think so at all. It was funny because I
could put there house inside my living and dining room. Made no difference
to me, but I realized how kids just don't see things like some of us do.
Invite the kids and people over, forget about worrying what they will think
and you will all have fun. And if by some chance they do have a problem with
it, they're probably not the kind of people you want to hang out with
anyway.
Mary B.
http://www.homeschoolingtshirts.com
marji
At 16:03 8/6/03 -0400, Mary B. wrote:
Fortunately, the mess will wait for me to get to it when I'm ready; I'm
just not ready yet. :-)
~MM~ (Messy Marji)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>There is stuff everywhere. You have to move things just to sit down on theGee, Mary, I don't recall seeing you here last week! (bweg)
>couch or dining room chair. My first thought when I went there was "Oh
>My!!" To myself of course. There are animals everywhere. The house looks
>like a tornado when through it, literally.
Fortunately, the mess will wait for me to get to it when I'm ready; I'm
just not ready yet. :-)
~MM~ (Messy Marji)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Nancy Liedel
You guys did not read the "kids I don't know" part of my quote. Also I don't
have kids I don't know over without their parents. Kids I know are a
different story. I was really surprised to be jumped for this comment.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
have kids I don't know over without their parents. Kids I know are a
different story. I was really surprised to be jumped for this comment.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
<< You guys did not read the "kids I don't know" part of my quote. Also I
don't
have kids I don't know over without their parents. Kids I know are a
different story. I was really surprised to be jumped for this comment. >>
People are talking about the ideas of all kinds of kids at THEIR houses, not
about you at your house, I think.
Throw out an idea and let other ideas swirl.
Sandra
don't
have kids I don't know over without their parents. Kids I know are a
different story. I was really surprised to be jumped for this comment. >>
People are talking about the ideas of all kinds of kids at THEIR houses, not
about you at your house, I think.
Throw out an idea and let other ideas swirl.
Sandra
Mary
From: "marji" <marji@...>
<< Gee, Mary, I don't recall seeing you here last week! (bweg)>>
You don't??? Gee, and we had such a great time!!!
Mary B.
http://www.homeschoolingtshirts.com
<< Gee, Mary, I don't recall seeing you here last week! (bweg)>>
You don't??? Gee, and we had such a great time!!!
Mary B.
http://www.homeschoolingtshirts.com
TreeGoddess
Nancy Liedel wrote:
I thought they were pretty helpful and soothing in a "let it go.... it's
just 'stuff'" kind of way. :)
TreeGoddess
>You guys did not read the "kids I don't know" part of my quote. Also I don't have kids I don't know over without their parents. Kids I know are a different story. I was really surprised to be jumped for this comment.I didn't see any responses that were "jumping on you" in the least bit.
>
I thought they were pretty helpful and soothing in a "let it go.... it's
just 'stuff'" kind of way. :)
TreeGoddess
Betsy
**You guys did not read the "kids I don't know" part of my quote. Also I
don't
have kids I don't know over without their parents. Kids I know are a
different story. I was really surprised to be jumped for this comment.**
I don't think people are intending to jump you. They are just arguing
with your concept that guest-kids are likely to care what the house
looks like.
I figure guest kids will think something like "Your mom doesn't make you
clean your room -- how cool!"
Betsy
don't
have kids I don't know over without their parents. Kids I know are a
different story. I was really surprised to be jumped for this comment.**
I don't think people are intending to jump you. They are just arguing
with your concept that guest-kids are likely to care what the house
looks like.
I figure guest kids will think something like "Your mom doesn't make you
clean your room -- how cool!"
Betsy
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/6/03 4:07:15 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
mummy124@... writes:
an input into the craft for each time? Does she charge a small fee for
materials? Sounds interesting.
Pam G
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
mummy124@... writes:
> I take my kids every week to a house where we do craftsAs an aside, how does this work? Are they simple crafts do the children have
an input into the craft for each time? Does she charge a small fee for
materials? Sounds interesting.
Pam G
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Mary
From: <genant2@...>
<< As an aside, how does this work? Are they simple crafts do the children
have
an input into the craft for each time? Does she charge a small fee for
materials? Sounds interesting.>>
We haven't been going that long. I belong to a smaller local hs support
group and we've just started to go to some things they are having. One lady
in the group decided herself she would have craft day once a week at her
house. She has 3 kids and seems very crafty herself with ideas I just don't
think of. She has a large folding table in her playroom area with access to
all kinds of paints, paper, shells etc. So that's where the kids do stuff.
She comes up with the ideas and anyone else who has a great idea can offer
to bring things for the following week. I just bring the drinks and snacks
and supplies when I'm told. <BG> The very first thing my kids did was make a
mini rain forest. It cost $4.00 per child for that one. They made them in
big soda bottles which we brought and she supplied all the dirt and other
stuff we put in the bottles. She bought little plants to put in there too.
Then we made wind chimes from seashells. She didn't charge anything for that
one. It was shells she had collected (we're in FL) and string and some round
wooden thingies she had. Then someone else brought in little crafts from the
Oriental Trading Co. which she bought 12 of for like 5 bucks. She didn't
charge us for those either. Little foam hands that the kids cut out (in the
shape of their own hand) decorated and attached a clothespin to. It had a
magnet on the back you can attach to the fridge and it was like a reminder
clip or a chore (gasp) list or something. Kids really liked those. We were
to do tie dye T shirts today but it was cancelled. I was supplying the
rubber bands and everyone was to bring their own shirt. She supplied the dye
and didn't charge us for that either. Of course we all help out with
bringing supplies when she needs them and food and stuff too. I made her a
homeschooling T shirt today and also came home with a kitten!!! Not a craft
but the real thing. He's curled up with Tara now.
Mary B.
http://www.homeschoolingtshirts.com
<< As an aside, how does this work? Are they simple crafts do the children
have
an input into the craft for each time? Does she charge a small fee for
materials? Sounds interesting.>>
We haven't been going that long. I belong to a smaller local hs support
group and we've just started to go to some things they are having. One lady
in the group decided herself she would have craft day once a week at her
house. She has 3 kids and seems very crafty herself with ideas I just don't
think of. She has a large folding table in her playroom area with access to
all kinds of paints, paper, shells etc. So that's where the kids do stuff.
She comes up with the ideas and anyone else who has a great idea can offer
to bring things for the following week. I just bring the drinks and snacks
and supplies when I'm told. <BG> The very first thing my kids did was make a
mini rain forest. It cost $4.00 per child for that one. They made them in
big soda bottles which we brought and she supplied all the dirt and other
stuff we put in the bottles. She bought little plants to put in there too.
Then we made wind chimes from seashells. She didn't charge anything for that
one. It was shells she had collected (we're in FL) and string and some round
wooden thingies she had. Then someone else brought in little crafts from the
Oriental Trading Co. which she bought 12 of for like 5 bucks. She didn't
charge us for those either. Little foam hands that the kids cut out (in the
shape of their own hand) decorated and attached a clothespin to. It had a
magnet on the back you can attach to the fridge and it was like a reminder
clip or a chore (gasp) list or something. Kids really liked those. We were
to do tie dye T shirts today but it was cancelled. I was supplying the
rubber bands and everyone was to bring their own shirt. She supplied the dye
and didn't charge us for that either. Of course we all help out with
bringing supplies when she needs them and food and stuff too. I made her a
homeschooling T shirt today and also came home with a kitten!!! Not a craft
but the real thing. He's curled up with Tara now.
Mary B.
http://www.homeschoolingtshirts.com
Kelly Lenhart
>Then we made wind chimes from seashells. She didn't charge anything forthat
>one. It was shells she had collected (we're in FL) and string and someround
>wooden thingies she had.Those are nice. My oldest made one when he was in preschool and it sounds
so good!
>I made her aPretty good trade!!!
>homeschooling T shirt today and also came home with a kitten!!! Not a craft
>but the real thing. He's curled up with Tara now.
Kelly