A question about boredom
Sarah
My 8 y.o., who used to be on the fence about unschooling last time I
asked (in May) has now decided he definitely wants to go back to school.
He is bored to death. This schocked me, as he never told me he was
bored until I asked him yesterday if he would rather stay home or go to
school. We have done lots of cool things this summer - bought new
games, gone swimming, to the fair, to the library, etc. We haven't been
just housebound or something. My oldest has been gone to grandma's most
of the summer with his cousin so that could be contributing to the
boredom since they get along well together.
This kid does very well in school and knows it, but is bothered with
ridiculous things there like handwriting grades and phonics (when he's
been reading fluently since he was 4). He finishes his "work" and reads
the rest of the day. He's not very social (like his mother), doesn't
care much for the other kids, doesn't really play with anybody unless
they approach him, doesn't play outside with the other kids much.
He asks me to find "learning websites" and to buy him workbooks. Is
this just conditioning because he's been in school? Does he expect to
be entertained more, or to have lots of busy work to do? He spends most
of his time playing Diablo 2 or Everquest.
I don't know, I guess I'm just frustrated because I'm trying to find a
solution for my family that will work and I thought he was the flexible
one (the youngest now wants to stay home, the oldest has always wanted
to go to school). I guess I'm a little bored too, although I have way
too much to do.
Do kids who haven't been in school experience boredom, or do they
entertain themselves more automatically? Does "deschooling" get rid of
this if it is a school phenomena? How do you all deal with boredom?
Sarah
See my/our blog: http://www.bruceportal.com
asked (in May) has now decided he definitely wants to go back to school.
He is bored to death. This schocked me, as he never told me he was
bored until I asked him yesterday if he would rather stay home or go to
school. We have done lots of cool things this summer - bought new
games, gone swimming, to the fair, to the library, etc. We haven't been
just housebound or something. My oldest has been gone to grandma's most
of the summer with his cousin so that could be contributing to the
boredom since they get along well together.
This kid does very well in school and knows it, but is bothered with
ridiculous things there like handwriting grades and phonics (when he's
been reading fluently since he was 4). He finishes his "work" and reads
the rest of the day. He's not very social (like his mother), doesn't
care much for the other kids, doesn't really play with anybody unless
they approach him, doesn't play outside with the other kids much.
He asks me to find "learning websites" and to buy him workbooks. Is
this just conditioning because he's been in school? Does he expect to
be entertained more, or to have lots of busy work to do? He spends most
of his time playing Diablo 2 or Everquest.
I don't know, I guess I'm just frustrated because I'm trying to find a
solution for my family that will work and I thought he was the flexible
one (the youngest now wants to stay home, the oldest has always wanted
to go to school). I guess I'm a little bored too, although I have way
too much to do.
Do kids who haven't been in school experience boredom, or do they
entertain themselves more automatically? Does "deschooling" get rid of
this if it is a school phenomena? How do you all deal with boredom?
Sarah
See my/our blog: http://www.bruceportal.com
Betsy
**He asks me to find "learning websites" and to buy him workbooks. Is
this just conditioning because he's been in school? **
Hi, Sarah --
I hope you can get some good suggestions from the list.
I don't like workbooks and my kid (9) doesn't like workbooks, but some
kids do. My mom likes crossword puzzles, maybe it's the same thing.
I subscribe to a list called ClickSchooling that sends out an
educational website everyday. (I rarely look at them, but I subscribe.)
It's a fine source of ideas.
Also, our great California statewide homeschooling group has a
tremendous field trip list and educational website list. (Poke around
on the website which is http://www.hsc.org )
I don't think educational websites are harmful, if he wants to wander
through them.
Betsy
this just conditioning because he's been in school? **
Hi, Sarah --
I hope you can get some good suggestions from the list.
I don't like workbooks and my kid (9) doesn't like workbooks, but some
kids do. My mom likes crossword puzzles, maybe it's the same thing.
I subscribe to a list called ClickSchooling that sends out an
educational website everyday. (I rarely look at them, but I subscribe.)
It's a fine source of ideas.
Also, our great California statewide homeschooling group has a
tremendous field trip list and educational website list. (Poke around
on the website which is http://www.hsc.org )
I don't think educational websites are harmful, if he wants to wander
through them.
Betsy
[email protected]
irsarah.bean@... writes:
book he likes, 1001 Thing To Do When You Have Nothing To Do. It never lasts
very long, and a lot of times I tell him, go lay on the bed, and do nothing, and
see how long you can truly do nothing. It takes him 5 minutes max to figure
out he would rather be doing something, anything!, else.
I find most of the time, it's just a mood, like any other mood, it will pass.
Like you said, sometimes Mamas get in that mood too. Isn't that why the
call them the "dog days of summer"?
<<How do you all deal with boredom?>>
I just got a list of 200 things, today, in one of my emails. One of the cute
ones- make a list of things you can/like to do when you're bored.
<A HREF="http://www.stretcher.com/stories/03/03jul21h.cfm">200+ Things to do- Summer Activities</A>
~Aimee
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> Do kids who haven't been in school experience boredom, or do theyMy son has never been in school, and he occasionally gets bored. He has a
> entertain themselves more automatically?
book he likes, 1001 Thing To Do When You Have Nothing To Do. It never lasts
very long, and a lot of times I tell him, go lay on the bed, and do nothing, and
see how long you can truly do nothing. It takes him 5 minutes max to figure
out he would rather be doing something, anything!, else.
I find most of the time, it's just a mood, like any other mood, it will pass.
Like you said, sometimes Mamas get in that mood too. Isn't that why the
call them the "dog days of summer"?
<<How do you all deal with boredom?>>
I just got a list of 200 things, today, in one of my emails. One of the cute
ones- make a list of things you can/like to do when you're bored.
<A HREF="http://www.stretcher.com/stories/03/03jul21h.cfm">200+ Things to do- Summer Activities</A>
~Aimee
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
Sarah,
You report that your son is bored to death but you didn't know it until you
asked him. Have you asked him what he means by bored? Boredom is actually a
precursor to creative explosions at my house. But the state of boredom is
generally not very pleasant for any involved. Sometimes my kids (age 10-19, 3
boys and 3 girls) use the boredom thing to indicate that they need more friend
contact, or that they can't find anything to watch on TV or do on the computer.
But sometimes "I'm bored" means I am a tired, I am sad, or I am having a down
day rather than that there are not exciting opportunities available.
In the beginning when I first pulled my kids out of school they were bored a
lot. They had certain expectations of being entertained. After a while, for
the youngest it was about 3 weeks, for the older one it was months, they
really developed some wonderful skills to find an interest in many "mundane" things
and they learned to rely on each other for stimulation. These skills were
manifest in a striking contrast when I had to take my kids to my sister's
funeral. All of the cousins were at the visitation and funeral and, etc., and there
was much whining about boredom from many quarters but not from my kids. The
other relatives remarked on it.( these are the same people who think I am
certifiable for homeschooling) and my kids shortly organized a bunch of pencil
paper quiet games for the visitation with the younger children. Then back at the
house they organized creative ball games that all the kids could star in and
an interesting synchronized scooter and skateboard show for the tween set. I
was proud of their abilities to not only occupy themselves and others but also
for their wonderful abilities to converse with all the adults as well
(something none of the other teenagers in their sullenness were interested in).
Anyway, your son may just need time to develop some more skills to
self-motivate and entertain. He may also be really missing his brother and not know how
to say it exactly. I would help him process his feelings and explore his
solutions rather than rushing to up the entertainment ante. A lot of the
philosophy of unschooling as I understand it is about being "real" in your learning.
In my house, at least, it is very "real" that life is not one series of
entertaining events after another, but it doesn't have to be boring either. Listen
to him talk about how he feels and what he wants, share with him your desires
and thoughts as well. Hopefully somewhere in there you will figure it out
together.
Good luck,
Beth
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
You report that your son is bored to death but you didn't know it until you
asked him. Have you asked him what he means by bored? Boredom is actually a
precursor to creative explosions at my house. But the state of boredom is
generally not very pleasant for any involved. Sometimes my kids (age 10-19, 3
boys and 3 girls) use the boredom thing to indicate that they need more friend
contact, or that they can't find anything to watch on TV or do on the computer.
But sometimes "I'm bored" means I am a tired, I am sad, or I am having a down
day rather than that there are not exciting opportunities available.
In the beginning when I first pulled my kids out of school they were bored a
lot. They had certain expectations of being entertained. After a while, for
the youngest it was about 3 weeks, for the older one it was months, they
really developed some wonderful skills to find an interest in many "mundane" things
and they learned to rely on each other for stimulation. These skills were
manifest in a striking contrast when I had to take my kids to my sister's
funeral. All of the cousins were at the visitation and funeral and, etc., and there
was much whining about boredom from many quarters but not from my kids. The
other relatives remarked on it.( these are the same people who think I am
certifiable for homeschooling) and my kids shortly organized a bunch of pencil
paper quiet games for the visitation with the younger children. Then back at the
house they organized creative ball games that all the kids could star in and
an interesting synchronized scooter and skateboard show for the tween set. I
was proud of their abilities to not only occupy themselves and others but also
for their wonderful abilities to converse with all the adults as well
(something none of the other teenagers in their sullenness were interested in).
Anyway, your son may just need time to develop some more skills to
self-motivate and entertain. He may also be really missing his brother and not know how
to say it exactly. I would help him process his feelings and explore his
solutions rather than rushing to up the entertainment ante. A lot of the
philosophy of unschooling as I understand it is about being "real" in your learning.
In my house, at least, it is very "real" that life is not one series of
entertaining events after another, but it doesn't have to be boring either. Listen
to him talk about how he feels and what he wants, share with him your desires
and thoughts as well. Hopefully somewhere in there you will figure it out
together.
Good luck,
Beth
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
On Wed, 23 Jul 2003 08:18:28 -0700 "Sarah" <irsarah.bean@...>
writes:
days to fill, and maybe sometimes when you can't think of anything you
want to do right away, you sort of panic and go towards the familiar,
which would be school. There are also all the societal messages about
school that your son has gotten, even if he's not consciously aware of
it, he's heard for years how School is Important and You Must Attend. I
think it can be scary to make that change, and sometimes when I'm sort of
low-grade scared about things it manifests more as being sort of antsy
and bored.
Rain only went to kindie, and she went to two different kindies, both odd
in their own ways, and we decided to unschool near the end of the school
year and she was like, *Yes!*", and she already had good friends who were
homeschooling... but it still was an adjustment. I don't remember her
saying she was bored, but she might have. I do remember her feeling like
she should be in school, somehow, and doing "school stuff". She missed
the tire swing and the trinomial cube a lot. It lasted until maybe
October or November... a couple of times she said she thought she'd like
to go back to school, and we talked specifically about what she was
missing and got our own trinomial cube and did some more structured stuff
through the regional parks, and by November it wasn't an issue anymore,
she'd adjusted and wasn't at all conflicted any more... but she only went
to one year of school, a semester of teeny tiny Montessori (7 kids, I
think) and a semester of Reggio Emilia whole language anti-bias
curriculum charter school (think Berkeley, although technically the
school was a couple blocks into Oakland).
Dar
writes:
> Do kids who haven't been in school experience boredom, or do theyof
> entertain themselves more automatically? Does "deschooling" get rid
> this if it is a school phenomena? How do you all deal withI think it is probably a big adjustment for kids to suddenly have whole
> boredom?
>
days to fill, and maybe sometimes when you can't think of anything you
want to do right away, you sort of panic and go towards the familiar,
which would be school. There are also all the societal messages about
school that your son has gotten, even if he's not consciously aware of
it, he's heard for years how School is Important and You Must Attend. I
think it can be scary to make that change, and sometimes when I'm sort of
low-grade scared about things it manifests more as being sort of antsy
and bored.
Rain only went to kindie, and she went to two different kindies, both odd
in their own ways, and we decided to unschool near the end of the school
year and she was like, *Yes!*", and she already had good friends who were
homeschooling... but it still was an adjustment. I don't remember her
saying she was bored, but she might have. I do remember her feeling like
she should be in school, somehow, and doing "school stuff". She missed
the tire swing and the trinomial cube a lot. It lasted until maybe
October or November... a couple of times she said she thought she'd like
to go back to school, and we talked specifically about what she was
missing and got our own trinomial cube and did some more structured stuff
through the regional parks, and by November it wasn't an issue anymore,
she'd adjusted and wasn't at all conflicted any more... but she only went
to one year of school, a semester of teeny tiny Montessori (7 kids, I
think) and a semester of Reggio Emilia whole language anti-bias
curriculum charter school (think Berkeley, although technically the
school was a couple blocks into Oakland).
Dar
Sarah
Thanks for the ideas! I'm also in California, so I'll be checking out
that hs group for some ideas too.
Sarah
-----Original Message-----
From: Betsy [mailto:ecsamhill@...]
Sent: Wednesday, July 23, 2003 9:13 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-Discussion] A question about boredom
I subscribe to a list called ClickSchooling that sends out an
educational website everyday. (I rarely look at them, but I subscribe.)
It's a fine source of ideas.
Also, our great California statewide homeschooling group has a
tremendous field trip list and educational website list. (Poke around
on the website which is http://www.hsc.org )
I don't think educational websites are harmful, if he wants to wander
through them.
Betsy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
that hs group for some ideas too.
Sarah
-----Original Message-----
From: Betsy [mailto:ecsamhill@...]
Sent: Wednesday, July 23, 2003 9:13 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-Discussion] A question about boredom
I subscribe to a list called ClickSchooling that sends out an
educational website everyday. (I rarely look at them, but I subscribe.)
It's a fine source of ideas.
Also, our great California statewide homeschooling group has a
tremendous field trip list and educational website list. (Poke around
on the website which is http://www.hsc.org )
I don't think educational websites are harmful, if he wants to wander
through them.
Betsy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sarah
Cool, thanks for the link!
Sarah
See my/our blog: http://www.bruceportal.com
<http://www.bruceportal.com/>
-----Original Message-----
From: AimeeL73@... [mailto:AimeeL73@...]
Sent: Wednesday, July 23, 2003 9:33 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-Discussion] A question about boredom
I just got a list of 200 things, today, in one of my emails. One of the
cute
ones- make a list of things you can/like to do when you're bored.
<A HREF="http://www.stretcher.com/stories/03/03jul21h.cfm">200+ Things
to do- Summer Activities</A>
~Aimee
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sarah
See my/our blog: http://www.bruceportal.com
<http://www.bruceportal.com/>
-----Original Message-----
From: AimeeL73@... [mailto:AimeeL73@...]
Sent: Wednesday, July 23, 2003 9:33 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-Discussion] A question about boredom
I just got a list of 200 things, today, in one of my emails. One of the
cute
ones- make a list of things you can/like to do when you're bored.
<A HREF="http://www.stretcher.com/stories/03/03jul21h.cfm">200+ Things
to do- Summer Activities</A>
~Aimee
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pamela Sorooshian
On Wednesday, July 23, 2003, at 08:18 AM, Sarah wrote:
-pam
> Do kids who haven't been in school experience boredom,Once in a while, yes. Not often.
-pam
Sarah
-----Original Message-----
From: Quiltsixer@... [mailto:Quiltsixer@...]
Sent: Wednesday, July 23, 2003 9:59 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-Discussion] A question about boredom
Sarah,
You report that your son is bored to death but you didn't know it until
you
asked him. Have you asked him what he means by bored? Boredom is
actually a
precursor to creative explosions at my house. But the state of boredom
is
generally not very pleasant for any involved. Sometimes my kids (age
10-19, 3
boys and 3 girls) use the boredom thing to indicate that they need more
friend
contact, or that they can't find anything to watch on TV or do on the
computer.
But sometimes "I'm bored" means I am a tired, I am sad, or I am having a
down
day rather than that there are not exciting opportunities available.
Today he is bent on getting a new game, thinking that will solve all
problems. I keep trying to reason with him that the last 5 games I
bought this summer haven't solved anything yet, but... I may get one
anyway since I'm trying to talk him into coming to a very boring hair
appointment with me (and I can't get ahold of any grandparents for some
reason).
In the beginning when I first pulled my kids out of school they were
bored a
lot. They had certain expectations of being entertained. After a
while, for
the youngest it was about 3 weeks, for the older one it was months, they
really developed some wonderful skills to find an interest in many
"mundane" things
and they learned to rely on each other for stimulation. These skills
were
manifest in a striking contrast when I had to take my kids to my
sister's
funeral. All of the cousins were at the visitation and funeral and,
etc., and there
was much whining about boredom from many quarters but not from my kids.
The
other relatives remarked on it.( these are the same people who think I
am
certifiable for homeschooling) and my kids shortly organized a bunch of
pencil
paper quiet games for the visitation with the younger children. Then
back at the
house they organized creative ball games that all the kids could star in
and
an interesting synchronized scooter and skateboard show for the tween
set. I
was proud of their abilities to not only occupy themselves and others
but also
for their wonderful abilities to converse with all the adults as well
(something none of the other teenagers in their sullenness were
interested in).
Thanks for this input! It's exactly what I suspected, but wasn't too
sure. Since I was "homeschooled" and in the boonies with few friends I
also became good at self-entertainment. But I may have been good at it
anyway, who knows.
Anyway, your son may just need time to develop some more skills to
self-motivate and entertain. He may also be really missing his brother
and not know how
to say it exactly. I would help him process his feelings and explore
his
solutions rather than rushing to up the entertainment ante. A lot of
the
philosophy of unschooling as I understand it is about being "real" in
your learning.
In my house, at least, it is very "real" that life is not one series of
entertaining events after another, but it doesn't have to be boring
either. Listen
to him talk about how he feels and what he wants, share with him your
desires
and thoughts as well. Hopefully somewhere in there you will figure it
out
together.
Good luck,
Beth
I agree, life shouldn't be all about trying to entertain all the time.
I'm never sure how much of that to do - my youngest would like me to
play games with him *all day* and I get bored to death after awhile.
Sarah
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
From: Quiltsixer@... [mailto:Quiltsixer@...]
Sent: Wednesday, July 23, 2003 9:59 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-Discussion] A question about boredom
Sarah,
You report that your son is bored to death but you didn't know it until
you
asked him. Have you asked him what he means by bored? Boredom is
actually a
precursor to creative explosions at my house. But the state of boredom
is
generally not very pleasant for any involved. Sometimes my kids (age
10-19, 3
boys and 3 girls) use the boredom thing to indicate that they need more
friend
contact, or that they can't find anything to watch on TV or do on the
computer.
But sometimes "I'm bored" means I am a tired, I am sad, or I am having a
down
day rather than that there are not exciting opportunities available.
Today he is bent on getting a new game, thinking that will solve all
problems. I keep trying to reason with him that the last 5 games I
bought this summer haven't solved anything yet, but... I may get one
anyway since I'm trying to talk him into coming to a very boring hair
appointment with me (and I can't get ahold of any grandparents for some
reason).
In the beginning when I first pulled my kids out of school they were
bored a
lot. They had certain expectations of being entertained. After a
while, for
the youngest it was about 3 weeks, for the older one it was months, they
really developed some wonderful skills to find an interest in many
"mundane" things
and they learned to rely on each other for stimulation. These skills
were
manifest in a striking contrast when I had to take my kids to my
sister's
funeral. All of the cousins were at the visitation and funeral and,
etc., and there
was much whining about boredom from many quarters but not from my kids.
The
other relatives remarked on it.( these are the same people who think I
am
certifiable for homeschooling) and my kids shortly organized a bunch of
pencil
paper quiet games for the visitation with the younger children. Then
back at the
house they organized creative ball games that all the kids could star in
and
an interesting synchronized scooter and skateboard show for the tween
set. I
was proud of their abilities to not only occupy themselves and others
but also
for their wonderful abilities to converse with all the adults as well
(something none of the other teenagers in their sullenness were
interested in).
Thanks for this input! It's exactly what I suspected, but wasn't too
sure. Since I was "homeschooled" and in the boonies with few friends I
also became good at self-entertainment. But I may have been good at it
anyway, who knows.
Anyway, your son may just need time to develop some more skills to
self-motivate and entertain. He may also be really missing his brother
and not know how
to say it exactly. I would help him process his feelings and explore
his
solutions rather than rushing to up the entertainment ante. A lot of
the
philosophy of unschooling as I understand it is about being "real" in
your learning.
In my house, at least, it is very "real" that life is not one series of
entertaining events after another, but it doesn't have to be boring
either. Listen
to him talk about how he feels and what he wants, share with him your
desires
and thoughts as well. Hopefully somewhere in there you will figure it
out
together.
Good luck,
Beth
I agree, life shouldn't be all about trying to entertain all the time.
I'm never sure how much of that to do - my youngest would like me to
play games with him *all day* and I get bored to death after awhile.
Sarah
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
>Do kids who haven't been in school experience boredomMy oldest never says he is bored. My youngest, 6, says it occasionally. But
I have learned that when he said "Mom I am bored" what he wants is time with
me. He wants me to read to him or play a game with him or cook with him. He
is asking for mom time.
Pam G.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/23/03 1:31:57 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
irsarah.bean@... writes:
getting done :-) That has been hard to teach my children, the balance between
keeping the family functioning and doing great projects or taking off for parts
unknown. Not that I put much emphasis on the whole house stuff (as any visitor
can attest<VBG>), nonetheless there are essentials that must be accomplished
and those essentials sometimes conflict with the plans of various other
members of the household (myself included). We have spent this summer working hard
on balance. Going camping was a great educator for them, because without the
extras, like a refrigerator, the need to spend time on functionality was very
apparent and everyone chipped in to make the time together the most beneficial
to all.
I am sure you all will find some balance too, but it is something that needs
attention, it doesn't happen magically.
Good luck, Beth
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
irsarah.bean@... writes:
> I agree, life shouldn't be all about trying to entertain all the time.Not to mention, the laundry, cooking, bills, gardening, etc. that aren't
> I'm never sure how much of that to do - my youngest would like me to
> play games with him *all day* and I get bored to death after awhile.
> Sarah
>
>
getting done :-) That has been hard to teach my children, the balance between
keeping the family functioning and doing great projects or taking off for parts
unknown. Not that I put much emphasis on the whole house stuff (as any visitor
can attest<VBG>), nonetheless there are essentials that must be accomplished
and those essentials sometimes conflict with the plans of various other
members of the household (myself included). We have spent this summer working hard
on balance. Going camping was a great educator for them, because without the
extras, like a refrigerator, the need to spend time on functionality was very
apparent and everyone chipped in to make the time together the most beneficial
to all.
I am sure you all will find some balance too, but it is something that needs
attention, it doesn't happen magically.
Good luck, Beth
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
http://sandradodd.com/BoredNoMore
That might help some.
<< I guess I'm a little bored too, although I have way
too much to do. >>
Priorities are important with unschooling. If the principle is that you're
creating a learning-nest for your child, that should take at least as much of
your energy as you would expend if he were going to school, and maybe as much
time as he will spend in school if he goes. It shouldn't be an hour of your
attention a day, or less.
If you have too much to do to find things to do with him, then school is an
option, but is it really the best option?
Unschooling shouldn't take last place in a mom's life. If what you 'have to
do' is stuff like housework or cooking or washing the car, maybe he would want
to do those things with you, or maybe you could just plain do them
differently or less so that his learning opportunities (or entertainment, or
exploration, or however you want to think of it) is a higher priority.
http://sandradodd.com/deschooling
That one might help too. And the checklists for unschoolers (linked at the
bottom of that) might help you shake things up so that home seems more
attractive to him than school.
Sandra
That might help some.
<< I guess I'm a little bored too, although I have way
too much to do. >>
Priorities are important with unschooling. If the principle is that you're
creating a learning-nest for your child, that should take at least as much of
your energy as you would expend if he were going to school, and maybe as much
time as he will spend in school if he goes. It shouldn't be an hour of your
attention a day, or less.
If you have too much to do to find things to do with him, then school is an
option, but is it really the best option?
Unschooling shouldn't take last place in a mom's life. If what you 'have to
do' is stuff like housework or cooking or washing the car, maybe he would want
to do those things with you, or maybe you could just plain do them
differently or less so that his learning opportunities (or entertainment, or
exploration, or however you want to think of it) is a higher priority.
http://sandradodd.com/deschooling
That one might help too. And the checklists for unschoolers (linked at the
bottom of that) might help you shake things up so that home seems more
attractive to him than school.
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/23/03 11:03:37 AM, Quiltsixer@... writes:
<< I
was proud of their abilities to not only occupy themselves and others but
also
for their wonderful abilities to converse with all the adults as well
(something none of the other teenagers in their sullenness were interested
in).
they have an open house every three years or so. Holly really wanted to see
where her dad worked. Kirby was scheduled to work. I asked if he could
arrange to take at least an hour off, but he said he remembered the last open
house and he already knew what the place looked like. He was calm and polite
about it and it wasn't worth whining or pressing or guilting him to go. He was
right. He remembered two tours.
So we went with Marty (14) and Holly (11) and had a really fun time. But at
one point in the hallway we met a family with a VERY very sullen teenaged
girl. She was a bundle of resistent pout. We got past them and around the
corner and all looked at each other with big eyes and said little muttery things
like "We left our sullen teenager at home!" We weren't being mean, just kind of
amused and sorry for her being so unwilling to be there.
Had Kirby gone he wouldn't have been nearly THAT sullen, but he does seem to
be in a phase where what we do is just kinda dull and grey compared to the
sparkle of what other people do, and I think that's natural. He also just spent
last weekend with the whole family but me, and had some good stories to tell
about his dad and siblings, so all isn't lost.
I'm often impressed with how resourceful unschoolers are compared to kids who
are used to direction and limitations.
Sandra
<< I
was proud of their abilities to not only occupy themselves and others but
also
for their wonderful abilities to converse with all the adults as well
(something none of the other teenagers in their sullenness were interested
in).
>>We went to an open house where my husband works. It's a secure facility, and
they have an open house every three years or so. Holly really wanted to see
where her dad worked. Kirby was scheduled to work. I asked if he could
arrange to take at least an hour off, but he said he remembered the last open
house and he already knew what the place looked like. He was calm and polite
about it and it wasn't worth whining or pressing or guilting him to go. He was
right. He remembered two tours.
So we went with Marty (14) and Holly (11) and had a really fun time. But at
one point in the hallway we met a family with a VERY very sullen teenaged
girl. She was a bundle of resistent pout. We got past them and around the
corner and all looked at each other with big eyes and said little muttery things
like "We left our sullen teenager at home!" We weren't being mean, just kind of
amused and sorry for her being so unwilling to be there.
Had Kirby gone he wouldn't have been nearly THAT sullen, but he does seem to
be in a phase where what we do is just kinda dull and grey compared to the
sparkle of what other people do, and I think that's natural. He also just spent
last weekend with the whole family but me, and had some good stories to tell
about his dad and siblings, so all isn't lost.
I'm often impressed with how resourceful unschoolers are compared to kids who
are used to direction and limitations.
Sandra
Rebecca DeLong
I thought I'd send you this link, if your interested, it's a yahoo group for unschoolers in California.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/CaliUnschooling
It's new and pretty quite, but I hope that it'll take off. ;-)
Rebecca
Sarah <irsarah.bean@...> wrote:
Thanks for the ideas! I'm also in California, so I'll be checking out
that hs group for some ideas too.
Sarah
-----Original Message-----
From: Betsy [mailto:ecsamhill@...]
Sent: Wednesday, July 23, 2003 9:13 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-Discussion] A question about boredom
I subscribe to a list called ClickSchooling that sends out an
educational website everyday. (I rarely look at them, but I subscribe.)
It's a fine source of ideas.
Also, our great California statewide homeschooling group has a
tremendous field trip list and educational website list. (Poke around
on the website which is http://www.hsc.org )
I don't think educational websites are harmful, if he wants to wander
through them.
Betsy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
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Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
*~*Leave the crowd, look within, and let your dreams soar*~*
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/CaliUnschooling
It's new and pretty quite, but I hope that it'll take off. ;-)
Rebecca
Sarah <irsarah.bean@...> wrote:
Thanks for the ideas! I'm also in California, so I'll be checking out
that hs group for some ideas too.
Sarah
-----Original Message-----
From: Betsy [mailto:ecsamhill@...]
Sent: Wednesday, July 23, 2003 9:13 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-Discussion] A question about boredom
I subscribe to a list called ClickSchooling that sends out an
educational website everyday. (I rarely look at them, but I subscribe.)
It's a fine source of ideas.
Also, our great California statewide homeschooling group has a
tremendous field trip list and educational website list. (Poke around
on the website which is http://www.hsc.org )
I don't think educational websites are harmful, if he wants to wander
through them.
Betsy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
[email protected]
Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
*~*Leave the crowd, look within, and let your dreams soar*~*
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
> **He asks me to find "learning websites" and to buy him workbooks. IsI took my children out of school this past December. My daughter, Anna, was
> this just conditioning because he's been in school? **
>
in the 7th grade and she loved school. She was an excellent student, every
teacher's dream. The first few months of being out of school ( we unschooled
from the start), she was very antsy, anxious, worried. She also asked me to
get her workbooks, make her a schedule, give her assignments..etc. She felt
totally lost and and like she was just "wasting time". I never prohibited
her from "doing work" I did make workbooks available to her. I did make her out
a schedule and give her assignments. She didn't do any of them.. LOL. She
said, what was the use in doing them if they were not "required" Unschooling
was a big adjustment for her. It was so different from school life. And, in
her case, she enjoyed school and all of it's trappings. OR, so she thought
:-)
Anna slowly but surely started to trust herself., to become self-motivated.
She began to see that she had the freedom to learn about anything she wanted
to.. or not. She began to explore her own personal interests and hobbies in
depth. One of the biggest things she learned was that SHE was capable of
directing her own learning. She now does not have to rely on someone else to
tell her what to do, what to learn.
Of course, I had to guide and nurture that trust. I didn't just say "get
over it". If she said she was bored, I would make suggestions. Sometimes she
followed them, sometimes not. I was (am) here to answer any questions she
has, provide any resources she wants/needs. (books, transportation, passing
along info I recieve, etc)
It's ironic that just today, before I read the post I am replying to.. Anna
and I had this conversation.
Me- "How do you like unschooling?"
Anna- "I like it, I like it alot".
Me- "Do you want to keep unschooling, or do you want to do more curriculum
type stuff?"
Anna - . "UNCHOOLING!, DEFINITELY!" ( no hesitation) lol...
Me - "But at first, you didnt really like it"
Anna - "I know, but, now I do, I think its alot better than school or school
at home"
Me- "Do you feel like you are learning all the time"
Anna - .. "Hmm, well, yeah, but I also think that now I know you don't really
have to know all the crap they teach in school to be a happy, successful
person"
I laughed at that, and I said, 'well, yeah, thats true. but, we are really
always learning, all the time.. all of us."
Anna - "Yeah, you are right.. because you just told me all about how these
drinks (Set-ups from a local grill) were really intended as alcohol mixers"
Me- "LOL, yeah, you're right.. see, we do learn something new every day"
Now, before you folks think I gave Anna a "lesson" on the origin of Set-ups..
lol.. Let me clarify. We stopped at the local grill to get Set-ups.. a
summer ( well, anytime) favorite. Anna asked me what was in Set-ups, and I told
her. Sundrop, Cherry soda, cherries and lemons. She said, "why are they c
alled "Set-ups?" So, I told her what a REAL "Set-up" is.
Anna has made the most radical changes in her thinking among my children.
Ethan and JP hated school, so they always loved unschooling.. She wouldn't
DREAM of doing a workbook now. At times I think.. OH NO, She is TOO independent..
lol. The other night, I was watching "The Donner Party" on PBS. I asked
her if she wanted to watch it with me. She said.. "uhh, no". I said. "come on,
its good, its a true story, very historical". She gave me a look and said,
"Moma, that is so lame. You think I am going to come watch it just because it
is "historical?" What could I say? point taken.. :-)
Teresa
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Mary
From: "Sarah" <irsarah.bean@...>
<<Do kids who haven't been in school experience boredom, or do they
entertain themselves more automatically? Does "deschooling" get rid of
this if it is a school phenomena? How do you all deal with boredom?>>
I remember that Tara (the always schooled child) would mention boredom when
she was younger and even as long as a year ago. The younger 3 who have never
been to school have never mentioned that word. So not sure if they are still
too young yet or never schooled kids just don't understand boredom. Sorry I
can't help you with the rest. Interesting question though and I'll be
looking to see if other never schooled kids mention boredom.
Mary B
<<Do kids who haven't been in school experience boredom, or do they
entertain themselves more automatically? Does "deschooling" get rid of
this if it is a school phenomena? How do you all deal with boredom?>>
I remember that Tara (the always schooled child) would mention boredom when
she was younger and even as long as a year ago. The younger 3 who have never
been to school have never mentioned that word. So not sure if they are still
too young yet or never schooled kids just don't understand boredom. Sorry I
can't help you with the rest. Interesting question though and I'll be
looking to see if other never schooled kids mention boredom.
Mary B
Crystal
<<Do kids who haven't been in school experience boredom, or do they
entertain themselves more automatically? Does "deschooling" get rid of
this if it is a school phenomena? How do you all deal with boredom?>>
My son, who was schooled through 6th grade, is always bored. This isn't scientific fact, but I think that school and then homework took up so much of his time that he never really learned how to entertain himself. On the other hand, my daughter was schooled through 5th grade and she's never bored, so maybe their personality has something to do with it, too.
Crystal
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
entertain themselves more automatically? Does "deschooling" get rid of
this if it is a school phenomena? How do you all deal with boredom?>>
My son, who was schooled through 6th grade, is always bored. This isn't scientific fact, but I think that school and then homework took up so much of his time that he never really learned how to entertain himself. On the other hand, my daughter was schooled through 5th grade and she's never bored, so maybe their personality has something to do with it, too.
Crystal
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/23/03 4:07:36 PM, crystal.pina@... writes:
<< My son, who was schooled through 6th grade, is always bored. This isn't
scientific fact, but I think that school and then homework took up so much of
his time that he never really learned how to entertain himself. >>
I think in part school teaches kids that what they like is stupid and
inferior, but the kids KNOW that what the school wants them to do is stupid. They
either decide they're right (and school is stupid) or they're wrong (and
they/the kids are stupid). There's not room for many more options.
So if their choice is doing a stupid school thing or a thing the school
taught them was stupid (playing, watching TV) they kinda can get stuck, because
they don't want to do anything "stupid."
Cynicism, planted deeply.
Sandra
<< My son, who was schooled through 6th grade, is always bored. This isn't
scientific fact, but I think that school and then homework took up so much of
his time that he never really learned how to entertain himself. >>
I think in part school teaches kids that what they like is stupid and
inferior, but the kids KNOW that what the school wants them to do is stupid. They
either decide they're right (and school is stupid) or they're wrong (and
they/the kids are stupid). There's not room for many more options.
So if their choice is doing a stupid school thing or a thing the school
taught them was stupid (playing, watching TV) they kinda can get stuck, because
they don't want to do anything "stupid."
Cynicism, planted deeply.
Sandra
Betsy
**My son, who was schooled through 6th grade, is always bored. This
isn't scientific fact, but I think that school and then homework took up
so much of his time that he never really learned how to entertain
himself... **
My thought is that schooled kids get used to feeling stuck and just
staying in their circumstances, even when bored. My son didn't used to
say he was bored when he ran out of things to do, instead he would say
"Mom, can we go to the toy store?" :-)
Betsy
isn't scientific fact, but I think that school and then homework took up
so much of his time that he never really learned how to entertain
himself... **
My thought is that schooled kids get used to feeling stuck and just
staying in their circumstances, even when bored. My son didn't used to
say he was bored when he ran out of things to do, instead he would say
"Mom, can we go to the toy store?" :-)
Betsy
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/23/2003 8:17:24 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
ecsamhill@... writes:
**My son, who was schooled through 6th grade, is always bored. This
after 6th, whether he was ever bored.
He said, "That's deep, Mom." <g>
He said that he doesn't feel that way at ALL now, but that he did when he was
just out of school. {I figure our deschooling took about 18 months or so.}
He said that he felt that everyone had told him for long what to do and when to
do it that he really wasn't sure HOW to do anything himself. He mostly
watched TV and listened to music and IMed friends and SLEPT. He never told me he was
bored---that I remember. But I do remember thinking that he wasn't DOing
*much*! <g> (I know better!)
Now there aren't enough hours in the day to get done what he has on his
"list".
Give him time. Don't nag. Enjoy him---he won't be this age EVER again! And
you'll miss this preteen age in just a few years! I come up to Cameron's nose
now---when he was 13, he came up to MY nose! <G> He's so tall and strong and
masculine---not my baby anymore! <g> And a child who only wanted to watch TV, IM
friends, and sleep NOW is almost an adult who plays drums, skates, makes
films, writes screenplays, and cooks!
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
ecsamhill@... writes:
**My son, who was schooled through 6th grade, is always bored. This
> isn't scientific fact, but I think that school and then homework took upBecause of this thread, I asked Cameron, who was also pulled out of school
> so much of his time that he never really learned how to entertain
> himself... **
after 6th, whether he was ever bored.
He said, "That's deep, Mom." <g>
He said that he doesn't feel that way at ALL now, but that he did when he was
just out of school. {I figure our deschooling took about 18 months or so.}
He said that he felt that everyone had told him for long what to do and when to
do it that he really wasn't sure HOW to do anything himself. He mostly
watched TV and listened to music and IMed friends and SLEPT. He never told me he was
bored---that I remember. But I do remember thinking that he wasn't DOing
*much*! <g> (I know better!)
Now there aren't enough hours in the day to get done what he has on his
"list".
Give him time. Don't nag. Enjoy him---he won't be this age EVER again! And
you'll miss this preteen age in just a few years! I come up to Cameron's nose
now---when he was 13, he came up to MY nose! <G> He's so tall and strong and
masculine---not my baby anymore! <g> And a child who only wanted to watch TV, IM
friends, and sleep NOW is almost an adult who plays drums, skates, makes
films, writes screenplays, and cooks!
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tammy Thompson
Thanks for this Kelly. I wasn't the one who asked the question but this jumped in front of me as a silent nagging issue with myself I wasn't totally aware I had...or I was ignoring it. We're only 6 months (more or less) into de-schooling and I thought I had the "worrying about them doing nothing" thing licked...guess I didn't really. This helps... ALOT.
-Tammy
He said that he felt that everyone had told him for long what to do and when to
do it that he really wasn't sure HOW to do anything himself. He mostly
watched TV and listened to music and IMed friends and SLEPT. He never told me he was
bored---that I remember. But I do remember thinking that he wasn't DOing
*much*! <g> (I know better!)
Now there aren't enough hours in the day to get done what he has on his
"list".
Give him time. Don't nag. Enjoy him---he won't be this age EVER again! And
you'll miss this preteen age in just a few years! I come up to Cameron's nose
now---when he was 13, he came up to MY nose! <G> He's so tall and strong and
masculine---not my baby anymore! <g> And a child who only wanted to watch TV, IM
friends, and sleep NOW is almost an adult who plays drums, skates, makes
films, writes screenplays, and cooks!
~Kelly<<<<<<<<<<<<
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
-Tammy
>>>>>>>He said that he doesn't feel that way at ALL now, but that he did when he wasjust out of school. {I figure our deschooling took about 18 months or so.}
He said that he felt that everyone had told him for long what to do and when to
do it that he really wasn't sure HOW to do anything himself. He mostly
watched TV and listened to music and IMed friends and SLEPT. He never told me he was
bored---that I remember. But I do remember thinking that he wasn't DOing
*much*! <g> (I know better!)
Now there aren't enough hours in the day to get done what he has on his
"list".
Give him time. Don't nag. Enjoy him---he won't be this age EVER again! And
you'll miss this preteen age in just a few years! I come up to Cameron's nose
now---when he was 13, he came up to MY nose! <G> He's so tall and strong and
masculine---not my baby anymore! <g> And a child who only wanted to watch TV, IM
friends, and sleep NOW is almost an adult who plays drums, skates, makes
films, writes screenplays, and cooks!
~Kelly<<<<<<<<<<<<
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/23/2003 9:40:45 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
qpwithcheese@... writes:
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
qpwithcheese@... writes:
> Thanks for this Kelly. I wasn't the one who asked the question but thisYou're very welcome! <g>
> jumped in front of me as a silent nagging issue with myself I wasn't totally
> aware I had...or I was ignoring it. We're only 6 months (more or less) into
> de-schooling and I thought I had the "worrying about them doing nothing" thing
> licked...guess I didn't really. This helps... ALOT.
>
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Crystal
-=He said that he felt that everyone had told him for long what to do and when to do it that he really wasn't sure HOW to do anything himself.=-
Kelly, I read this post to my son and he said that is exactly how he feels. I don't nag him to do anything at all. I asked him that if he had unlimited time and unlimited money then what would he do. He didn't know, except for go shopping. He already has the unlimited time.
Crystal
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kelly, I read this post to my son and he said that is exactly how he feels. I don't nag him to do anything at all. I asked him that if he had unlimited time and unlimited money then what would he do. He didn't know, except for go shopping. He already has the unlimited time.
Crystal
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Julie Solich
My son didn't used to
Julie
Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
> say he was bored when he ran out of things to do, instead he would sayOh, we have spent hours there. It's my kids favourite place in the world.
> "Mom, can we go to the toy store?" :-)
>
> Betsy
Julie
>the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner,
> ~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
>
> If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email
Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
>email to:
> To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an
> [email protected]
>
> Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>
Kelly Lenhart
I know my son is bored a bit lately, but that it is, as Sandra and others
have said, mostly that he wants MY time. I try, but being pregnant and
tired and having a younger brother around who also needs care...I'm not
doing as much as I could perhaps. I am trying some things I've heard here.
(Rock, paper, scisors is the latest "borrow.")
But I do know that *I* am bored. If I can manage to have a book going, then
I am ok for a while, but we are spending a lot of time watching the same
episodes of cartoons over and over and my mind is turning to mush. Days
that my son puts his foot down and doesn't want to go anywhere, he also just
wants to watch these cartoons, but gets angry if I don't want to sit and
watch with him.
I'm very frustrated. I know some of this will get better when the littler
kids get bigger, but until then, we are having troubles. I think we are
both "deschooling" to a large extent. Although he wasn't in "school" for
long, just K and a few weeks of 1st, he was in "care" for the whole rest of
his life.
-sigh-
Kelly
have said, mostly that he wants MY time. I try, but being pregnant and
tired and having a younger brother around who also needs care...I'm not
doing as much as I could perhaps. I am trying some things I've heard here.
(Rock, paper, scisors is the latest "borrow.")
But I do know that *I* am bored. If I can manage to have a book going, then
I am ok for a while, but we are spending a lot of time watching the same
episodes of cartoons over and over and my mind is turning to mush. Days
that my son puts his foot down and doesn't want to go anywhere, he also just
wants to watch these cartoons, but gets angry if I don't want to sit and
watch with him.
I'm very frustrated. I know some of this will get better when the littler
kids get bigger, but until then, we are having troubles. I think we are
both "deschooling" to a large extent. Although he wasn't in "school" for
long, just K and a few weeks of 1st, he was in "care" for the whole rest of
his life.
-sigh-
Kelly
Pamela Sorooshian
Kelly - I'm thinking that you have to do little little things to jazz
up your life and your son's. You're not in a position to make life
overly exciting, but calm and sweet you could do by just doing a few
little things once in a while.
How about you get a bunch of pattern blocks and just leave them on the
coffee table or somewhere, near the tv maybe? Just play with them - and
if your son starts playing too, just do it together, quietly, while the
cartoons are going or whatever. (Remember you can build with them, too,
not just make flat patterns.) Or use some other kind of easy to work
with open-ended kind of building thing - or art materials. Do things
that ARE for younger kids, too, like playdough -- you can get him to
help you make it and choose spices and flavorings to put in it. Or make
goop or one of those other weird things. Or - just play with a few
boxes of cornstarch and some water. (Probably not in front of the tv.)
I mean - just do these things easily and simply - don't make a
production out of them --
Oh - here are two really fun things for kids of all ages ---
Put milk in a plate - and put drops of food coloring all over the place
on the milk. Then drop droplets of dishwashing detergent and watch what
happens.
Make a mold from gelatin - clear plain gelatin - use a lot of it so you
get a really firm mold. Turn the mold out onto a plate. Now use eye
droppers and tempera paint - suck up the paint into the eye dropper and
then gently insert the eye dropper into the gelatin mold and slowly
squirt the paint into it. Use different colors and just keep going -
you'll probably do it until the whole thing falls apart into a big mess
- but you'll have had fun.
-pam
up your life and your son's. You're not in a position to make life
overly exciting, but calm and sweet you could do by just doing a few
little things once in a while.
How about you get a bunch of pattern blocks and just leave them on the
coffee table or somewhere, near the tv maybe? Just play with them - and
if your son starts playing too, just do it together, quietly, while the
cartoons are going or whatever. (Remember you can build with them, too,
not just make flat patterns.) Or use some other kind of easy to work
with open-ended kind of building thing - or art materials. Do things
that ARE for younger kids, too, like playdough -- you can get him to
help you make it and choose spices and flavorings to put in it. Or make
goop or one of those other weird things. Or - just play with a few
boxes of cornstarch and some water. (Probably not in front of the tv.)
I mean - just do these things easily and simply - don't make a
production out of them --
Oh - here are two really fun things for kids of all ages ---
Put milk in a plate - and put drops of food coloring all over the place
on the milk. Then drop droplets of dishwashing detergent and watch what
happens.
Make a mold from gelatin - clear plain gelatin - use a lot of it so you
get a really firm mold. Turn the mold out onto a plate. Now use eye
droppers and tempera paint - suck up the paint into the eye dropper and
then gently insert the eye dropper into the gelatin mold and slowly
squirt the paint into it. Use different colors and just keep going -
you'll probably do it until the whole thing falls apart into a big mess
- but you'll have had fun.
-pam
On Wednesday, July 23, 2003, at 08:34 PM, Kelly Lenhart wrote:
> I know my son is bored a bit lately, but that it is, as Sandra and
> others
> have said, mostly that he wants MY time. I try, but being pregnant and
> tired and having a younger brother around who also needs care...I'm not
> doing as much as I could perhaps. I am trying some things I've heard
> here.
> (Rock, paper, scisors is the latest "borrow.")
>
> But I do know that *I* am bored. If I can manage to have a book
> going, then
> I am ok for a while, but we are spending a lot of time watching the
> same
> episodes of cartoons over and over and my mind is turning to mush.
> Days
> that my son puts his foot down and doesn't want to go anywhere, he
> also just
> wants to watch these cartoons, but gets angry if I don't want to sit
> and
> watch with him.
>
> I'm very frustrated. I know some of this will get better when the
> littler
> kids get bigger, but until then, we are having troubles. I think we
> are
> both "deschooling" to a large extent. Although he wasn't in "school"
> for
> long, just K and a few weeks of 1st, he was in "care" for the whole
> rest of
> his life.
>
> -sigh-
>
> Kelly
>
>
>
>
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[email protected]
In a message dated 7-23-2003 9:35:45 PM Mountain Daylight Time, mina@...
writes:
I've gotten my kids addicted <beg> and *I* actually like them too (the
snowboarding games are fun on PPG and any of the Scooby Doo games are a riot!) There's
enough selection it could take weeks, even months to turn your brain to mush
there!! hee hee
diana,
The wackiest widow westriver...
“Relationships are a prerequisite for producing results beyond ourselves.
They expand our imaginations to infinite possibilities that cannot exist in a
life of isolation." --Brian Koslow
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
writes:
> but we are spending a lot of time watching the samecan you hop onto cartoonnetwork.com and play the cartoon related games??
> episodes of cartoons over and over and my mind is turning to mush.
I've gotten my kids addicted <beg> and *I* actually like them too (the
snowboarding games are fun on PPG and any of the Scooby Doo games are a riot!) There's
enough selection it could take weeks, even months to turn your brain to mush
there!! hee hee
diana,
The wackiest widow westriver...
“Relationships are a prerequisite for producing results beyond ourselves.
They expand our imaginations to infinite possibilities that cannot exist in a
life of isolation." --Brian Koslow
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/23/2003 10:10:35 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
crystal.pina@... writes:
your eyes when he's doing something you might not approve of. Offering him too
much too early (I did that---bringing books home and NOT just leave them lying
around, but handing them to him.). Suggesting that he do something---anything.
Not that you're doing any of these things.
I want to be really clear on this---and I feel foggy.
OK---When a child's in school and feels that his life is being lived FOR him
(the way Cameron felt), he NEEDS almost to have an *absence* of stimulation
for a while.
Most of the regular posters here, whom I learned so much unschooling from,
never had kids in school---They knew about it early or they pulled them out
*very* early. They got it early enough to not have to deschool. I think
deschooling has GOT to be THE hardest thing for a parent to do. It's not "natural". <g>
I had a child in private school (which comes with a WHOLE nother set of
problems than public school!!!). Not only was he in school, but the teachers CARED.
That sounds like a good thing <g>, but that meant they were involved in every
single aspect of his life! Every one! I can see now how that has GOT to be
intimidating---back then I thought it was a GOOD thing!
Anyway, I think that deschooling almost needs a HUGE vacuum.--or what are
those things called that are void of light, sound, movement? The child needs NOT
to do anything for a long while. We say to DO all of these really cool
things---go out to eat, buy great art supplies, rent movies and games, play, play,
play. And to an extent, that's right and good. But the schooled child may need
NOTHING for a while. This is really hard when you wnat SO much FOR him. When
you KNOW that unschooling can offer so much. What what he may really NEED is
NOTHING.
He NEEDS to find out Who He Is, not who everyone wants or thinks him to be.
Cameron had NONE of his current interests when he came out of school. They
all evolved out of ... of nothing! <BG>
When I finally quit nagging (and it can be the SLIGHTEST thing---remember
tweens and teens are VERY sensitive!), Cameron started becoming himself. We went
through a horrible Goth period <g> when he first started becoming. We've dyed
his hair several times. He's redone his room and plain made over his LIFE! HIS
life.
He's such a cool person. I hate what I and the private school did to him. But
he has his own life now---and like I said there arent enough hours in the
day!
Last year he hardly participated in the conference---my own son. He spent the
whole weekend in the hotel room! This year he's very excited about it and is
planning to help a lot.
Give him time---lots of time. Unlimited time---it will limit itself. And the
freedom to do NOTHING. TELL him this! When he wakes from the school stupor, he
will have found himself and become Who He Is---and he'll be fascinating. It
just takes time----and no nagging! <g>
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
crystal.pina@... writes:
> Kelly, I read this post to my son and he said that is exactly how he feels.Keep in mind that the nagging doesn't have to be VERBAL! It can be rolling
> I don't nag him to do anything at all. I asked him that if he had u
> nlimited time and unlimited money then what would he do. He didn't know, except for
> go shopping. He already has the unlimited time.
your eyes when he's doing something you might not approve of. Offering him too
much too early (I did that---bringing books home and NOT just leave them lying
around, but handing them to him.). Suggesting that he do something---anything.
Not that you're doing any of these things.
I want to be really clear on this---and I feel foggy.
OK---When a child's in school and feels that his life is being lived FOR him
(the way Cameron felt), he NEEDS almost to have an *absence* of stimulation
for a while.
Most of the regular posters here, whom I learned so much unschooling from,
never had kids in school---They knew about it early or they pulled them out
*very* early. They got it early enough to not have to deschool. I think
deschooling has GOT to be THE hardest thing for a parent to do. It's not "natural". <g>
I had a child in private school (which comes with a WHOLE nother set of
problems than public school!!!). Not only was he in school, but the teachers CARED.
That sounds like a good thing <g>, but that meant they were involved in every
single aspect of his life! Every one! I can see now how that has GOT to be
intimidating---back then I thought it was a GOOD thing!
Anyway, I think that deschooling almost needs a HUGE vacuum.--or what are
those things called that are void of light, sound, movement? The child needs NOT
to do anything for a long while. We say to DO all of these really cool
things---go out to eat, buy great art supplies, rent movies and games, play, play,
play. And to an extent, that's right and good. But the schooled child may need
NOTHING for a while. This is really hard when you wnat SO much FOR him. When
you KNOW that unschooling can offer so much. What what he may really NEED is
NOTHING.
He NEEDS to find out Who He Is, not who everyone wants or thinks him to be.
Cameron had NONE of his current interests when he came out of school. They
all evolved out of ... of nothing! <BG>
When I finally quit nagging (and it can be the SLIGHTEST thing---remember
tweens and teens are VERY sensitive!), Cameron started becoming himself. We went
through a horrible Goth period <g> when he first started becoming. We've dyed
his hair several times. He's redone his room and plain made over his LIFE! HIS
life.
He's such a cool person. I hate what I and the private school did to him. But
he has his own life now---and like I said there arent enough hours in the
day!
Last year he hardly participated in the conference---my own son. He spent the
whole weekend in the hotel room! This year he's very excited about it and is
planning to help a lot.
Give him time---lots of time. Unlimited time---it will limit itself. And the
freedom to do NOTHING. TELL him this! When he wakes from the school stupor, he
will have found himself and become Who He Is---and he'll be fascinating. It
just takes time----and no nagging! <g>
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
> Do kids who haven't been in school experience boredom, or do theyWe have been having an experience with a friend's 5yo son. He enters K this
> entertain themselves more automatically? Does "deschooling" get rid of
> this if it is a school phenomena? How do you all deal with boredom?>>
year and has been in preschool for the past 2 years. We (myself and 2 kids)
went to the zoo with them last month and he declared each exhibit "B-o-r-r-ring!"
He is unimpressed with most things and his mom talks about how she must
always entertain him. I can honestly say that my kids (who are young still) have
never said that they are bored or even asked me to give them ideas of something
to do.
Amy Kagey
Email me for a list
of used homeschooling books!
<A HREF="http://www.ubah.com/ecommerce/default.asp?sid=Z0939&gid=1684902">my Usborne Books website!</A>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/23/03 10:12:20 PM, HaHaMommy@... writes:
<< > but we are spending a lot of time watching the same
interesting? Kirby and I used to discuss the methods and motivations of
Splinter, the Ninja Turtles' teacher--why sometimes he would hang back and let them
make decisions, but sometimes he didn't. Those conversations invariably
touched on things in our own relationship, or in other families he knew. We also
talked about voicework (one of Kirby's earliest interests was voice acting for
cartoons and puppets--he figured out on his own really early that Mr. Rogers
was doing more than one voice, and that Kermit was Bert with a different tone
in the voice and so on, so I would research and supply him names and some
details and trivia, and he would tell me when one of the voice actors he was
familiar with did a bit on another show or on a commercial. He was always right.
Just something he has the ability to hear. Animaniacs was WAY fun for him
because he could tell me who was doing what.
Sandra
<< > but we are spending a lot of time watching the same
> episodes of cartoons over and over and my mind is turning to mush.Can you ask why that's a favorite episode, or comment on whatever you find
>>
interesting? Kirby and I used to discuss the methods and motivations of
Splinter, the Ninja Turtles' teacher--why sometimes he would hang back and let them
make decisions, but sometimes he didn't. Those conversations invariably
touched on things in our own relationship, or in other families he knew. We also
talked about voicework (one of Kirby's earliest interests was voice acting for
cartoons and puppets--he figured out on his own really early that Mr. Rogers
was doing more than one voice, and that Kermit was Bert with a different tone
in the voice and so on, so I would research and supply him names and some
details and trivia, and he would tell me when one of the voice actors he was
familiar with did a bit on another show or on a commercial. He was always right.
Just something he has the ability to hear. Animaniacs was WAY fun for him
because he could tell me who was doing what.
Sandra