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"But how many generations will it be before someone is
smart enough or brave enough to change that pattern?"
Maybe this one.
I think that was really brave and worthy, what you did.
The reverend at our Unity church talked about his difficult childhood on Father's day. His Dad was very distant and often angry. He remembers being afraid of him. It was very touching to hear him talk about how he has learned to see his Father through more than just the eyes of a child, because it's helped him heal.
He realized many of the things you listed, his father did so much better than HIS father did by providing for and being there for his family. And Rev. Jamie is SUCH a spiritual, peaceful individual, so it ended with him (unfortunately not his siblings though).
My Grandfather was raised by a mean, abusive, alcoholic father and a clueless mother. He went out on his own at 14 and never lived at home again. He struggled in this world and built a good life for himself. My mother remembers him being fairly harsh (but also loving) when they were little, I also remember some of his rougher side.
My mother did a little better, she yelled but was very loving and fun too. I carried some of that anger into my parenting, but it's going away....so just three generations from the alcoholic, abusive one you have attachment/peaceful parenting.
My Grandpa has urged all of his Grandkids not to spank. This from a man that lived in fear of hiw own father and wasn't so gentle himeself early on. He's an advocate for gentle parenting, COOL!
Ren
smart enough or brave enough to change that pattern?"
Maybe this one.
I think that was really brave and worthy, what you did.
The reverend at our Unity church talked about his difficult childhood on Father's day. His Dad was very distant and often angry. He remembers being afraid of him. It was very touching to hear him talk about how he has learned to see his Father through more than just the eyes of a child, because it's helped him heal.
He realized many of the things you listed, his father did so much better than HIS father did by providing for and being there for his family. And Rev. Jamie is SUCH a spiritual, peaceful individual, so it ended with him (unfortunately not his siblings though).
My Grandfather was raised by a mean, abusive, alcoholic father and a clueless mother. He went out on his own at 14 and never lived at home again. He struggled in this world and built a good life for himself. My mother remembers him being fairly harsh (but also loving) when they were little, I also remember some of his rougher side.
My mother did a little better, she yelled but was very loving and fun too. I carried some of that anger into my parenting, but it's going away....so just three generations from the alcoholic, abusive one you have attachment/peaceful parenting.
My Grandpa has urged all of his Grandkids not to spank. This from a man that lived in fear of hiw own father and wasn't so gentle himeself early on. He's an advocate for gentle parenting, COOL!
Ren
Kris
<<My Grandpa has urged all of his Grandkids not to spank. This from a man
that lived in fear of hiw own father and wasn't so gentle himeself early on.
He's an advocate for gentle parenting, COOL!
Ren>>
My grandfather abused his wife and children, drank and constantly squandered
the money on alcohol. My father never hit or spoke harshly to my mom and
spanked me ONCE during my childhood. He was so shaken that he told my mom,
"I can't EVER do that again."
He drank sparingly and although he was somewhat distant emotionally we knew
that he loved us. He ALWAYS provided and would have dug ditches if
necessary to care for us.
I think my kids will continue the progressive improvement in parenting.
Kris
that lived in fear of hiw own father and wasn't so gentle himeself early on.
He's an advocate for gentle parenting, COOL!
Ren>>
My grandfather abused his wife and children, drank and constantly squandered
the money on alcohol. My father never hit or spoke harshly to my mom and
spanked me ONCE during my childhood. He was so shaken that he told my mom,
"I can't EVER do that again."
He drank sparingly and although he was somewhat distant emotionally we knew
that he loved us. He ALWAYS provided and would have dug ditches if
necessary to care for us.
I think my kids will continue the progressive improvement in parenting.
Kris