neighbors (was leaving children, again)
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/7/03 1:10:02 AM, abtleo@... writes:
<< There's a political connnection with this person, militarily speaking, so I
can't really do that without my husband hearing about it, and then there'd
be trouble. Not from him to me, he'd agree! But between the guys. >>
I understand. Forgot about that.
I told off a neighbor yesterday . Very gently gave him a piece of advice,
actually, and he started yelling at me! Imagine. <g>
I had walked out into the vacant lot behind our house where he had just
yelled horribly at a boy about ten years old and told him he was a dumb ass, and to
get the hell away from him. It had to do with the boy not following the
dad's bad directions which, the dad imagined, would have gotten a kite in the air
on a windless day.
The tone of voice was really horrible. There was another, younger boy, still
holding the kite and looking none too hopeful but still following his dad's
worthless directives. I walked over to the dad and said something (SOFTLY) li
ke "If you call your kid dumbass, he's going to be really unhappy and it won't
make him a good kid." Kind of awkward, but there it was. He said it was none
of my business. I said it wouldn't have been, if I couldn't hear it all from
my yard, and he should be nicer to his kids. I was standing close enough for
him to hit me, and he was thinking about it, but he had the kite string in
his hands.
His wife was there, looking like a total blank, poor woman, and the kid with
the kite was too far away to hear, but he and probably six neighboring houses
could have heard the dad yelling at me. I didn't take off just yet. I told
him if he didn't like what I was saying, imagine how his KID must feel being
called a dumbass.
Then I figured I could do as much as I could do and when he yelled after me
"Mind your own fucking business," I said "Then keep it out of my yard. I don't
want to hear it."
Holly had been going through my old clothes and wearing things I had when I
was in my teens and 20's. I was a scrawny kid and pretty small until I started
having kids. After kids, I didn't small-up again. So he called me a name I
had never been called. It didn't really hurt my feelings, it just made me
realize why his kids are so horrible to my kids and every other kid who passes
their house.
He yelled, after I was twenty yards away, "FAT ASS!"
I wasn't sure I heard him right. I hadn't heard an insult like that since
elementary school, and it had never been directed at me. I got to the gate of
my back yard and he yelled the same thing again louder.
I couldn't stop smiling. What a doofus!
And I realize that it's probably that he himself was abused probably MUCH
worse than the verbal stuff his kids are doing, and he's probably feeling really
responsible and a good parent because he's stayed with his wife, he got them a
house in a decent (not fancy) neighborhood, and it even has a swimming pool
(where the kids are yelled at ALL the time), and he's still at home taking care
of his kids and not run off or in prison. (Just guessing, again, at his
possible mindset.)
And when he was yelling I was thinking a horrible level of thought, a
probably instinctive thing beyond conscious sensible thinking. I was thinking
"Keith could take him."
Still amused, but starting to feel sorry for the guy, I went up to the front
of the house and saw that Keith had returned from his five days in Colorado.
I told him he had just missed my altercation with the neighbor. I'm sure
Keith was glad to hear that. :-/
I said "You could take him in a heartbeat."
I'm sure Keith wasn't so glad to hear I had even imagined the possibility of
such necessity or opportunity.
So the worst is they'll throw crap into our yard or be even meaner to the
kids, I guess.
The best might be that the dad will be quieter and the kids will realize that
someone does think their dad's too mean besides them.
He WAS out trying to fly a kite, and maybe he's just not smart enough to know
you do truly need wind. Maybe he wanted to watch TV but had promised the
kids and was keeping his promise. It had been REALLY windy the day before and
maybe that's what inspired the kid to get a kite out. Maybe he was hoping wind
would come. But his fury was so huge and so aimed straight at his child's head
that I couldn't just watch that boy walk sadly home under the umbrella of
that insult.
And I realized his dad was just of limited thought and vocabulary when the
best he could think of to say to me was "fatass," and no wonder his children are
so hurtful and mean to other kids. I guess they'll be nicer, even, to their
own children, maybe. But how many generations will it be before someone is
smart enough or brave enough to change that pattern?
Sandra
<< There's a political connnection with this person, militarily speaking, so I
can't really do that without my husband hearing about it, and then there'd
be trouble. Not from him to me, he'd agree! But between the guys. >>
I understand. Forgot about that.
I told off a neighbor yesterday . Very gently gave him a piece of advice,
actually, and he started yelling at me! Imagine. <g>
I had walked out into the vacant lot behind our house where he had just
yelled horribly at a boy about ten years old and told him he was a dumb ass, and to
get the hell away from him. It had to do with the boy not following the
dad's bad directions which, the dad imagined, would have gotten a kite in the air
on a windless day.
The tone of voice was really horrible. There was another, younger boy, still
holding the kite and looking none too hopeful but still following his dad's
worthless directives. I walked over to the dad and said something (SOFTLY) li
ke "If you call your kid dumbass, he's going to be really unhappy and it won't
make him a good kid." Kind of awkward, but there it was. He said it was none
of my business. I said it wouldn't have been, if I couldn't hear it all from
my yard, and he should be nicer to his kids. I was standing close enough for
him to hit me, and he was thinking about it, but he had the kite string in
his hands.
His wife was there, looking like a total blank, poor woman, and the kid with
the kite was too far away to hear, but he and probably six neighboring houses
could have heard the dad yelling at me. I didn't take off just yet. I told
him if he didn't like what I was saying, imagine how his KID must feel being
called a dumbass.
Then I figured I could do as much as I could do and when he yelled after me
"Mind your own fucking business," I said "Then keep it out of my yard. I don't
want to hear it."
Holly had been going through my old clothes and wearing things I had when I
was in my teens and 20's. I was a scrawny kid and pretty small until I started
having kids. After kids, I didn't small-up again. So he called me a name I
had never been called. It didn't really hurt my feelings, it just made me
realize why his kids are so horrible to my kids and every other kid who passes
their house.
He yelled, after I was twenty yards away, "FAT ASS!"
I wasn't sure I heard him right. I hadn't heard an insult like that since
elementary school, and it had never been directed at me. I got to the gate of
my back yard and he yelled the same thing again louder.
I couldn't stop smiling. What a doofus!
And I realize that it's probably that he himself was abused probably MUCH
worse than the verbal stuff his kids are doing, and he's probably feeling really
responsible and a good parent because he's stayed with his wife, he got them a
house in a decent (not fancy) neighborhood, and it even has a swimming pool
(where the kids are yelled at ALL the time), and he's still at home taking care
of his kids and not run off or in prison. (Just guessing, again, at his
possible mindset.)
And when he was yelling I was thinking a horrible level of thought, a
probably instinctive thing beyond conscious sensible thinking. I was thinking
"Keith could take him."
Still amused, but starting to feel sorry for the guy, I went up to the front
of the house and saw that Keith had returned from his five days in Colorado.
I told him he had just missed my altercation with the neighbor. I'm sure
Keith was glad to hear that. :-/
I said "You could take him in a heartbeat."
I'm sure Keith wasn't so glad to hear I had even imagined the possibility of
such necessity or opportunity.
So the worst is they'll throw crap into our yard or be even meaner to the
kids, I guess.
The best might be that the dad will be quieter and the kids will realize that
someone does think their dad's too mean besides them.
He WAS out trying to fly a kite, and maybe he's just not smart enough to know
you do truly need wind. Maybe he wanted to watch TV but had promised the
kids and was keeping his promise. It had been REALLY windy the day before and
maybe that's what inspired the kid to get a kite out. Maybe he was hoping wind
would come. But his fury was so huge and so aimed straight at his child's head
that I couldn't just watch that boy walk sadly home under the umbrella of
that insult.
And I realized his dad was just of limited thought and vocabulary when the
best he could think of to say to me was "fatass," and no wonder his children are
so hurtful and mean to other kids. I guess they'll be nicer, even, to their
own children, maybe. But how many generations will it be before someone is
smart enough or brave enough to change that pattern?
Sandra
Mary
From: <SandraDodd@...>
<< I told off a neighbor yesterday . Very gently gave him a piece of
advice,
actually, and he started yelling at me! Imagine. <g>>
I wouldn't say I'm impressed often. But I was inmpressed twice while reading
your story.
First, that you opened your mouth and said something about how the father
spoke to the child. I have heard similar things and haven't had the guts to
say something to that person. I'm not sure if you know him or not. If it's
someone I know, I will say something. But just a neighbor or someone out in
public, I just can't seem to find the words.
Then I was impressed again when you kept your mouth shut. I think that
impressed me more than the first one. I couldn't have just walked away like
that. Okay, I guess I could have, I would have chosen not to. <BG> And I
would have had a really hard time keeping Joe out of it. So good for you
both.
I need to manage my mouth better. I'm going to remember this story.
Mary B
<< I told off a neighbor yesterday . Very gently gave him a piece of
advice,
actually, and he started yelling at me! Imagine. <g>>
I wouldn't say I'm impressed often. But I was inmpressed twice while reading
your story.
First, that you opened your mouth and said something about how the father
spoke to the child. I have heard similar things and haven't had the guts to
say something to that person. I'm not sure if you know him or not. If it's
someone I know, I will say something. But just a neighbor or someone out in
public, I just can't seem to find the words.
Then I was impressed again when you kept your mouth shut. I think that
impressed me more than the first one. I couldn't have just walked away like
that. Okay, I guess I could have, I would have chosen not to. <BG> And I
would have had a really hard time keeping Joe out of it. So good for you
both.
I need to manage my mouth better. I'm going to remember this story.
Mary B
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/7/03 10:32:19 AM, mummy124@... writes:
<< I'm not sure if you know him or not. If it's
someone I know, I will say something. >>
I don't even know his name. He came to my door a couple of weeks ago with a
found puppy they'd been keeping for nearly a week. Someone had told him it
might belong behind him, and we were home so he checked with us first. I thought
it belonged to Jerry next door, but I wasn't sure, so I took it in and asked
him if it was NOT our neighbor's did they maybe want to take it back and keep
it and he said yes. I introduced myself and I even gave him a business card
so he would have my phone number in case that puppy got out again or anything.
He didn't even think to tell me his name at the time, though it was a
pleasant exchange and he had three kids with him that day.
It was my neighbor's puppy. My kids confirmed it. A tiny pit bull puppy.
It spent several hours having a great time at our house before we had to
return it to its depressing back yard. It will get grown and be a grown pit bull
in a depressing back yard it can obviously escape from. I'm no longer keen on
returning it if it gets out now.
Sandra
<< I'm not sure if you know him or not. If it's
someone I know, I will say something. >>
I don't even know his name. He came to my door a couple of weeks ago with a
found puppy they'd been keeping for nearly a week. Someone had told him it
might belong behind him, and we were home so he checked with us first. I thought
it belonged to Jerry next door, but I wasn't sure, so I took it in and asked
him if it was NOT our neighbor's did they maybe want to take it back and keep
it and he said yes. I introduced myself and I even gave him a business card
so he would have my phone number in case that puppy got out again or anything.
He didn't even think to tell me his name at the time, though it was a
pleasant exchange and he had three kids with him that day.
It was my neighbor's puppy. My kids confirmed it. A tiny pit bull puppy.
It spent several hours having a great time at our house before we had to
return it to its depressing back yard. It will get grown and be a grown pit bull
in a depressing back yard it can obviously escape from. I'm no longer keen on
returning it if it gets out now.
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/7/03 10:32:19 AM, mummy124@... writes:
<< Then I was impressed again when you kept your mouth shut. I think that
impressed me more than the first one. I couldn't have just walked away like
that. Okay, I guess I could have, I would have chosen not to. >>
Well I did shouting back at him to keep it in his own yard or it WAS my
business, so it wasn't quite a model of personal composure.
And the more I think about it the more I think he probably DOES think he's
being a good dad not to whip them with a belt (or whatever his upbringing was).
And maybe he's just from a long line of mean.
Sandra
<< Then I was impressed again when you kept your mouth shut. I think that
impressed me more than the first one. I couldn't have just walked away like
that. Okay, I guess I could have, I would have chosen not to. >>
Well I did shouting back at him to keep it in his own yard or it WAS my
business, so it wasn't quite a model of personal composure.
And the more I think about it the more I think he probably DOES think he's
being a good dad not to whip them with a belt (or whatever his upbringing was).
And maybe he's just from a long line of mean.
Sandra