Annette Naake

Hi Glena,

It is not the being alone with my mom that I find offensive at all.
It is the attitude she has that having the kids or my husband around
somehow makes the experience less enjoyable for her, and her
assumption that I must feel the same way. That I must always be
longing for a break from those kids. There's also an implication
there that I am not paying enough attention to HER.

Anyway, if your son and his girlfriend are coming by every night for
dinner, it sounds like you have a great relationship and you
shouldn't worry! The GF must feel very welcome! Given that, I'm sure
your son is happy to spend time with you alone. In my case, I feel
like my DH and kids are NOT welcome. You probably have a friendship
with the GF, too. Unfortunately, my DH's parents are dead. But in
past relationships, I 've had great friendships with boyfriends'
mothers. It really meant a lot to me.

You said your MIL doesn't like your children. Sometimes I get the
feeling my mom doesn't like MY children!

Annette

>Message: 19
>�� Date: Fri, 4 Jul 2003 12:50:28 EDT
>�� From: rubyprincesstsg@...
>Subject: Re: happiness of kids, at parties, w/mom
>
>In a message dated 7/4/2003 12:52:59 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
>naake1999@... writes:
>
>>She's the same way with my brother and sister... always acting all
>>flattered when we visit without the kids. She's also reluctant to be in my
>>house with the kids and DH, who works at home, around all the time.� She
>>wants me to herself. I feel a little offended
>
>Your post made me think... a lot... I don't have any grandchildren, yet.� I
>do have a son who's been with the same girl for seven years in a committed
>relationship, just not married.� They come almost every night for supper or
>dessert.� They almost always go on every family trip or outing with us.�
>BUT
>that
>being said, I LOVE time alone with my son.� I am VERY flattered when he
>will
>call and invite me to lunch, just him and myself.� I love it when he will
>ask me
>if I want to go shopping with just him.� I don't try to orchestrate being
>alone with him without Carrisa but it is a TREAT for me.� As much as we
>love our
>children now, we love them and cherish them equally when they are grown, I
>do
>anyway.
>
>I know my MIL always tells me they are meant to grow up and out and on
>their
>own and see their parents on Sundays for an hour.� If my child chooses to
>do
>this, well that's fine but so far that doesn't look like it's likely to
>happen.
>Her son, my DH sees her maybe once or twice a year, whenever I think I can
>stand it (she doesn't like our children, I don't like people who don't like
>my
>children).
>
>I will be very cautious about time alone with my children after reading
>your
>post.� It never occurred to me that a child would find it offensive to
>spend
>alone time with their parent.� I can see that if she never wants to welcome
>your children or spouse into the mix it could be a serious problem, much
>like
>with my MIL.
>
>Thank you for making me think about something I've never considered in my
>family dynamics.
>
>glena
>

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