pink lantern

Hello,

My name is Jeva and I'm a single unschooling mother of 1 beautiful
unschooled free spirited son named Max/9 and many animal friends
(unschooled too). I have a dilemma and am hoping I can get some good
orderly direction with it.

I know in my heart I need to ignore unsupportive people, but I have
had it with a neighbor. This woman lives next to us, also works in
the corner store near where we live, and for some strange reason is
CONSTANTLY discussing my son's education. It got so bad that we
wouldn't go in there. My son would go into the store to purchase
something and the woman purposely would charge him too much. I take
it her thinking was because he's homeschooled that he can't count
change? I'm not sure and can't say what's in her head, but after the
5th time of noticing this (we thought SHE was the one who couldn't
count lol!) I called the store to complain about her and we never
went back.

It was bad enough to have her always bring up his schooling when
simply buying a cup of coffee, but I would ignore her. She has even
brought it up to family members who have gone in there. It's so
annoying to have someone, who obviously needs a life, gossip and talk
to other neighbors behind your back about our insane method of
education and how I'm ruining my son's life, {add your own uninformed
comment of choice here}etc...

The last straw for me came the other day when she was passing my son
and his friends on the way home and told Max that "Your Grandfather
is GOING TO MAKE YOU GO TO SCHOOL!!!". Max didn't say anything (shock
and disbelief probably) but was fairly upset when he got home from
play to tell me.

I called her and told her that we have had enough of her gossip and
it's none of her business how we live or choose to educate, or
anything concerning our lives. Of course she reacted and it got
nasty. She kept hanging up on me, I called back until I finished what
I had to say and then hung up on her. lol! Pretty silly stuff, but
how upsetting to have some nut so obviously obsessed with your life
that they spend WAY too much time discussing your business with
others.

Have any of you all had anything remotely like this happen? It was
horrible. It's a good thing we live in a very homeschool friendly
state or I'd be concerned she'd do something like attempt to report
us. Pretty scary stuff. I really dislike confrontation, but that was
my last straw. If nothing else, I just wanted her to know that I knew
what she had said, that it's not acceptable, and to never speak to my
son again. There was no reason in what she told him and it was a
total lie meant to scare my son. How mean.

So it would really help me if anyone can share incidents like this
and how you handled them or perhaps didn't, just ignored it?

Jeva

Kelly Lenhart

>So it would really help me if anyone can share incidents like this
>and how you handled them or perhaps didn't, just ignored it?
>Jeva

I would write up a record of all this, with as many dates and details as
you can. First I would tell her boss about it and explain that they have
lost a customer due to her harrasment.

Then I would file it with the cops. There may not be anything they can do,
but having a record of it is a good thing.

She sounds nuts.

Kelly

jeva

Thanks Kelly,

I had called the store where she works a couple of times when she
would overcharge us. No real response.

I will have to get a report and record everything. She really appears
to be unbalanced. One of the neighbors told me "she beats her kids".
No discussion, no guidance, just a beating. What a sick individual.
Pretty scary. Most of the neighbors won't allow their children to
play with her son as he's so mean. Good evidence that bullies raise
more bullies.

Jeva

--- In [email protected], "Kelly Lenhart"
<mina@m...> wrote:
> >So it would really help me if anyone can share incidents like this
> >and how you handled them or perhaps didn't, just ignored it?
> >Jeva
>
> I would write up a record of all this, with as many dates and
details as
> you can. First I would tell her boss about it and explain that
they have
> lost a customer due to her harrasment.
>
> Then I would file it with the cops. There may not be anything they
can do,
> but having a record of it is a good thing.
>
> She sounds nuts.
>
> Kelly

[email protected]

I like the idea of making a record of it. Also I would write to the woman.
Just a letter stating some specific things that she has done. Also saying
that if she continues to harass you or your son that you will seek legal advice.
I really don't know about the law but you could ask the local law enforcement
how to go about filing something so it is on record that she does this. And
also let her know in the letter that you did file whatever and you will
continue to do so with ever event that occurs.

I wouldn't go pointing fingers, with the spanking thing. There is no actual
proof. You didn't actually see her beat her child. You heard it from a
friend..... Just stick with the facts.

Other than that I have no ideas. It must be such a hard situation. I don't
have to deal with that so I have no real first hand knowledge. But keep us up
to date with what the police say and what comes of all this.
Pam G.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

jeva

Thank you Pam, you are right in that I didn't witness anything, just
going by her son's behavior. I know she's called the police on one
neighbor claiming their dogs bark all the time and reported another
for her dogs not being licensed, so at least with those facts, I know
I'm not the only target.

I think I'll send it certified or registered so I know she gets my
letter. I would only hope she doesn't attempt to turn it around and
use it saying I'm harrassing her.

Pretty sad that someone would go to such lengths, but she's obviously
not well.

Thanks again for the suggestions. :) I feel better just sharing it.

Jeva

--- In [email protected], genant2@a... wrote:
> I like the idea of making a record of it. Also I would write to
the woman.
> Just a letter stating some specific things that she has done. Also
saying
> that if she continues to harass you or your son that you will seek
legal advice.
> I really don't know about the law but you could ask the local law
enforcement
> how to go about filing something so it is on record that she does
this. And
> also let her know in the letter that you did file whatever and you
will
> continue to do so with ever event that occurs.
>
> I wouldn't go pointing fingers, with the spanking thing. There is
no actual
> proof. You didn't actually see her beat her child. You heard it
from a
> friend..... Just stick with the facts.
>
> Other than that I have no ideas. It must be such a hard
situation. I don't
> have to deal with that so I have no real first hand knowledge. But
keep us up
> to date with what the police say and what comes of all this.
> Pam G.
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 6/27/03 5:44:13 AM, pinklantern@... writes:

<< Good evidence that bullies raise

more bullies. >>

I think some of it's genetic.

MAYBE she's mean because people were mean to her, but maybe she's lacking in
conscience from fetal alcohol syndrome (a guess, thinking of my half brother),
and maybe she has a harsh personality and married someone likewise harsh and
has double-harsh children.

I think kindness and reason can make a genetically harsh kid softer. I think
cruelty can make a gentically soft kid harsher. But I don't believe in the
blank slate, matching-lumps-of-clay birth of humans.

Sandra

moonstarshooter

--- In [email protected], "pink lantern"
<pinklantern@e...> wrote:


This is from one of Jeva's first posts:

> I called her and told her that we have had enough of her gossip and
> it's none of her business how we live or choose to educate, or
> anything concerning our lives. Of course she reacted and it got
> nasty. She kept hanging up on me, I called back until I finished
what
> I had to say and then hung up on her.


Where is the peacefulness in this? I understand someone was causing
problems with your child, but don't you think that honey would have
worked better than vinegar? (Sarcasm alert. I have no problem with
how you reacted. I DO have a problem with hypocrisy.)

Tory