crazymoma67

After I post this, I will slide back into lurkdom where I have been
for the past several months. I will go back to sifting and sorting
and skipping and deleting the tons of mail from this list that do not
interest me. I went to the unschooling.com web site, and the
definitions of unschooling on there all seem to be very reasonable
and appropiate. As a matter of fact, I am pretty sure I found this
group by browsing on that web site.

http://www.unschooling.com/library/faq/definitions.shtml

Anyway, if there are other unschooling groups created that do
actually get some traffic, I would be glad to try them out. NOT the
one 'without TV" lol.. we love TV here.

Julie Bogart

--- In [email protected], "crazymoma67"
<crazymoma67@y...> wrote:
> After I post this, I will slide back into lurkdom where I have been
> for the past several months. I will go back to sifting and sorting
> and skipping and deleting the tons of mail from this list that do
not
> interest me. I went to the unschooling.com web site, and the
> definitions of unschooling on there all seem to be very
reasonable
> and appropiate. As a matter of fact, I am pretty sure I found this
> group by browsing on that web site.
>
> http://www.unschooling.com/library/faq/definitions.shtml
>
> Anyway, if there are other unschooling groups created that do
> actually get some traffic, I would be glad to try them out. NOT
the
> one 'without TV" lol.. we love TV here.

This definition stood out to me (and it was the first one):

"Unschooling is primarily about process not content. The
process of learning, the process of knowing yourself, openness,
confidence, self-determination, independent thinking, critical
thinking....none of which one gets when following other people's
agenda. Making one's own agenda is what it is all about. Again
this is done not in isolation but in the context of ones family and
community. -Joel Hawthorne "

"None of which one gets when following other people's
agenda..."

I think that is what was missing from my unschooling
experience. I had to consider every agenda I had, not just the
ones for the 3 Rs. And I discovered that many of my agendas
(that I had felt were reasonable—certain chores, times for bed,
amounts of time on the Internet, how often they could go out with
friends for parties...) were actually draining energy from my kids'
ability to conduct their own learning.

It's taken me six months to see the huge amount of influence I've
had on how my kids manage their time.

Quick example and then I'll shut up:

Just last night I was getting dinner ready. The little guys were
busy playing, my oldest was just home from Shakespeare camp
and tired and my middle son was in some other room. My 13
yodd was sitting at the computer reading Harry Potter and typing
IMs. I said, (can't believe it now), "Honey, since you're not doing
anything, can you help me set the table?"

She looked up and said, "So you think reading a book and IMing
means I'm not doing anything? Is that how you see it?"

Nailed! My need for help setting the table seems reasonable.
Like so many things. But it was interfering with her learning right
then! (She did help me because she's a great kid and had been
reading all day. But the issue was how I viewed her reading and
IMing...)

Until the last six months on this list, I hadn't seen how my
agenda stood in their way. I've had to stop seeing life through my
eyes and start looking through my kids'... totally... before I could
imagine the impact my parenting practices were having on my
unschooling attempts.

And it's been the sometimes shocking and confronting posts of
this list that have helped me to do that incrementally, little by little.

Julie B

[email protected]

In a message dated 6/26/2003 3:16:36 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
julie@... writes:


> And it's been the sometimes shocking and confronting posts of
> this list that have helped me to do that incrementally, little by little.
>

DAMN! Just one great post after another!

Thanks, Julie!

~kelly


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 6/26/2003 3:16:16 PM Eastern Standard Time,
julie@... writes:

> Until the last six months on this list, I hadn't seen how my
> agenda stood in their way. I've had to stop seeing life through my
> eyes and start looking through my kids'... totally... before I could
> imagine the impact my parenting practices were having on my
> unschooling attempts.
>
> And it's been the sometimes shocking and confronting posts of
> this list that have helped me to do that incrementally, little by little.
>
> Julie B
>
Julie, I am on my way....but still quite a few months behind you. Still
having struggles with old parenting ways, but what you said almost made me cry. I
think back at our homeschooling life and all the curriculums we've used, all
the new programs that came down the tube that we HAD to try...constantly
worrying about whether the kids knew this or that.

My biggest regret (and I know I need to stop beating myself up over it) is
that I hadn't started much sooner, when my oldest was still at home. I've
"raised" some great kids, but I just wonder how much more awesome they could be, or
more how much better they'd feel about themselves, if I had started
unschooling and changed my parenting style when they were little.

And more often than not, I DIDN'T look through my kids eyes. I've been
trying to do this so much more lately. Sometimes I'll just watch them when they
don't know I'm looking and I try and guess what they're thinking at that moment.
I am asking them everyday how they feel, what they need, what they like,
dislike,...the amount of conversation between us all has tripled.

Nancy


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Dave and Shannon

Now this is a good one and I really need to work on it myself.

Shannon Buckley
Mom to Connor 3-15-97, Carsten born at home 4-27-99/5-19-00 and Quinn born
at home 8-08-02


This definition stood out to me (and it was the first one):

"Unschooling is primarily about process not content. The
process of learning, the process of knowing yourself, openness,
confidence, self-determination, independent thinking, critical
thinking....none of which one gets when following other people's
agenda. Making one's own agenda is what it is all about. Again
this is done not in isolation but in the context of ones family and
community. -Joel Hawthorne "

"None of which one gets when following other people's
agenda..."

I think that is what was missing from my unschooling
experience. I had to consider every agenda I had, not just the
ones for the 3 Rs. And I discovered that many of my agendas
(that I had felt were reasonable—certain chores, times for bed,
amounts of time on the Internet, how often they could go out with
friends for parties...) were actually draining energy from my kids'
ability to conduct their own learning.

It's taken me six months to see the huge amount of influence I've
had on how my kids manage their time.

Quick example and then I'll shut up:

Just last night I was getting dinner ready. The little guys were
busy playing, my oldest was just home from Shakespeare camp
and tired and my middle son was in some other room. My 13
yodd was sitting at the computer reading Harry Potter and typing
IMs. I said, (can't believe it now), "Honey, since you're not doing
anything, can you help me set the table?"

She looked up and said, "So you think reading a book and IMing
means I'm not doing anything? Is that how you see it?"

Nailed! My need for help setting the table seems reasonable.
Like so many things. But it was interfering with her learning right
then! (She did help me because she's a great kid and had been
reading all day. But the issue was how I viewed her reading and
IMing...)

Until the last six months on this list, I hadn't seen how my
agenda stood in their way. I've had to stop seeing life through my
eyes and start looking through my kids'... totally... before I could
imagine the impact my parenting practices were having on my
unschooling attempts.

And it's been the sometimes shocking and confronting posts of
this list that have helped me to do that incrementally, little by little.

Julie B







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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 6/27/03 8:47:12 PM, isaacray@... writes:

<< Yes, me too, I totally agree! I like the honest, direct approach, it gets
my attention. I personally find the politically correct, tip-toeing around
an issue to spare feelings approach to be somewhat condescending. >>

There will be another couple of lists announced soon, I hear, and none of
them appealed to me. Those who want politically correct tip-toeing and tea-party
chitchat [no-hostess teaparty bar? <g> rank-free teaparty? (good luck on
that)] will have a safe place to go, and maybe people who DO like this list will
feel safer here too.

Sandra

Maggy

Yes, me too, I totally agree! I like the honest, direct approach, it gets my attention. I personally find the politically correct, tip-toeing around an issue to spare feelings approach to be somewhat condescending.

Maggy

A Mother's Touch Photography
http://pages.ivillage.com/momaggy2/

And it's been the sometimes shocking and confronting posts of
this list that have helped me to do that incrementally, little by little.

Julie B



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]