Robin Stalte

This is great. I sent it to every computer geek I know. Thanks.
----- Original Message -----
From: <monkeycoop@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Friday, March 24, 2000 11:27 PM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Microsoft joke


> From: monkeycoop@...
>
> Hey gang,
>
> Here's a great Microsoft joke I got from my brother (he runs with scissors
> also):
>
> At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
> computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "(i)f GM had kept up
> with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be
driving
> $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
> In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
> stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be
> driving cars with the following characteristics:
> 1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
> 2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy
a
> new car.
> 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would
> have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut
off
> the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For
> some reason you would simply accept this.
> 4. Occasionally, executing maneuver such as a left turn would cause your
car
> to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to
reinstall
> the engine.
> 5. Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought "CarNT,"
but
> then you would have to buy more seats.
> 6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
five
> times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but it would only run on five
> percent of the roads.
> 7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would all be
> replaced by a single "general protection fault" warning light.
> 8. New seats would force everyone to have the same sized butt.
> 9. The airbag system would ask "are you sure?" before deploying.
> 10. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, you car would lock you out and
> refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,
turned
> the key and grabbed hold of the antenna.
> 11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand
> McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need nor
> want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the
cars
> performance to diminish by 50 percent or more. Moreover, GM would become a
> target for investigation by the Justice Department.
> 12. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to
> drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the
same
> manner as the old car.
> 13. You'd have to press the "start" button to turn the engine off.
>
>
> KIM
> ***runs with scissors***
>
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