Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Thank You cards was Re: Manners, rank
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I find this form of communication THIN to say the least. Me, I'd phone them all. But my wedding was small and special, so not too onerous.
We never send Xmas cards - dead trees aren't THAT pretty and I live next door to millions of hectares of cut forests. (Let's not even go there unless willing to stop using T. Paper too, and I'm not!) So useless cards with their thin/not-genuine communication - HUMBUG!
For the kids, ASK them if they'd like to do cards. Grama/other person might enjoy hearing from them, whaddya think? If they aren't into it, carry on with life. We only serve up society's expectations, we don't enforce them, IMHO!
My, but these are ramblin' thots,
Tim T
I remember my dad always forcing us to write them, and we thought it was silly. Now as an adult, I can see how thoughtless it is for someone (say a bride) to overlook any money and time spent in chosing a gift by not responding with a card. In cases of gifts sent long-distance, a card let's the sender know that the gift was received. How do we teach our kids to show appreciation for gifts without forcing Thank You cards?
Shalom,
Raine
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
We never send Xmas cards - dead trees aren't THAT pretty and I live next door to millions of hectares of cut forests. (Let's not even go there unless willing to stop using T. Paper too, and I'm not!) So useless cards with their thin/not-genuine communication - HUMBUG!
For the kids, ASK them if they'd like to do cards. Grama/other person might enjoy hearing from them, whaddya think? If they aren't into it, carry on with life. We only serve up society's expectations, we don't enforce them, IMHO!
My, but these are ramblin' thots,
Tim T
>>I have a question along these lines...How do you all handle Thank You cards?
I remember my dad always forcing us to write them, and we thought it was silly. Now as an adult, I can see how thoughtless it is for someone (say a bride) to overlook any money and time spent in chosing a gift by not responding with a card. In cases of gifts sent long-distance, a card let's the sender know that the gift was received. How do we teach our kids to show appreciation for gifts without forcing Thank You cards?
Shalom,
Raine
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 6/16/03 3:15:31 PM, tmthomas@... writes:
<< So useless cards with their thin/not-genuine communication - HUMBUG! >>
Now....
I LOVE Christmas cards. I've saved every one I've ever gotten. Some years I
send lots. This year I was stuck on the couch and sent zero.
And Christmas cards can be THICK fat wonderful communication.
So can e-mail, y'humbuggler!
Sandra
<< So useless cards with their thin/not-genuine communication - HUMBUG! >>
Now....
I LOVE Christmas cards. I've saved every one I've ever gotten. Some years I
send lots. This year I was stuck on the couch and sent zero.
And Christmas cards can be THICK fat wonderful communication.
So can e-mail, y'humbuggler!
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 6/16/2003 5:14:56 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
tmthomas@... writes:
of their lives. When they were little it was just what we did a day or two
after a birthday party, Christmas, or a visit to someone. We choose a special
card and expressed our thanks for whatever it happened to be, a special lunch at
Chuck E. Cheese, a sparkly new pair of PJ's, whatever it was. Of course I
was the one writing them at first, asking what would you like to say to Aunt
________ or Grandma ________ about our visit or their visit or the _____________?
Sometimes THEY wanted to "write" the note, having no clue about spelling or
order of words so they "wrote" in their two or three year old hand and then I
deciphered it for the recipient. One of my sisters still has every little
hand scribble note they've ever sent her.
Just as you say "thank you" to someone if they are brought up with notes
being a part of the event or process they continue it. Flushing the toilet after
you use it is just something you do, writing a note just comes after a gift or
kindness the same way if that's how it's always been.
My oldest graduated from high school and wrote her thank you notes for the
gifts and cards and money as each arrived. I didn't remind her or ask her if
she'd done it, I did buy her stamps when she asked. My older boy kept a list as
his gifts and cards came in the mail and did his thank you's all at once,
again no reminders but I did mail them for him.
My neighbor complained to the high heavens about begging and prodding and
demanding her son write thank you notes for the very generous gifts he had
received. He never did and finally she did it herself.
She asked how I got MY children to do it, I didn't "get" them to do it. If
thank you notes are important to you, then just let your children see YOU doing
it early on as a natural consequence of a gift or kindness.
We always send flowers to our hostess after returning from a visit with
anyone as well. My children still do this too. My sons rarely stay overnight with
anyone but my older daughter often visits friends from college or a weekend
with another friends parents at the beach. My sons might ask that I go online
and send _________ some flowers because (usually a Mom of a friend) put up
with them all weekend or cooked for them or something. My daughter just does it
on her own. So it's just a nice thing to do when others have been kind to you
when they didn't have to at all.
People like it when you remember kindness. I'm not saying a genuine thank
you given in person isn't enough, for some people it is. I also don't think a
written note is any less genuine. Are there gifts you are really unthankful
for? I've had gift that I didn't like or couldn't wear or use, but I've always
been able to say "thank you for the gift, it was very thoughtful of you to
think of me" or "thank you for remembering me on my birthday, it was very
special". There are ways to get around sounding less than genuine if you absolutely
hated a gift. Kids almost always LOVE every gift in someway.
So the best way to get your kids to WANT to send notes? Just have it be a
part of their growing up years. It doesn't have to be a burden to send them but
just a part of receiving a kindness or gift.
glena
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
tmthomas@... writes:
> How do you all handle Thank You cards?My children are older now but have ALWAYS sent thank you cards, just a part
> I remember my dad always forcing us to write them, and we thought it was
> silly. Now as an adult, I can see how thoughtless it is for someone (say a
> bride) to overlook any money and time spent in choosing a gift by not responding
> with a card. In cases of gifts sent long-distance, a card let's the sender
> know that the gift was received. How do we teach our kids to show appreciation
> for gifts without forcing Thank You cards?
> Shalom,
> Raine
>
of their lives. When they were little it was just what we did a day or two
after a birthday party, Christmas, or a visit to someone. We choose a special
card and expressed our thanks for whatever it happened to be, a special lunch at
Chuck E. Cheese, a sparkly new pair of PJ's, whatever it was. Of course I
was the one writing them at first, asking what would you like to say to Aunt
________ or Grandma ________ about our visit or their visit or the _____________?
Sometimes THEY wanted to "write" the note, having no clue about spelling or
order of words so they "wrote" in their two or three year old hand and then I
deciphered it for the recipient. One of my sisters still has every little
hand scribble note they've ever sent her.
Just as you say "thank you" to someone if they are brought up with notes
being a part of the event or process they continue it. Flushing the toilet after
you use it is just something you do, writing a note just comes after a gift or
kindness the same way if that's how it's always been.
My oldest graduated from high school and wrote her thank you notes for the
gifts and cards and money as each arrived. I didn't remind her or ask her if
she'd done it, I did buy her stamps when she asked. My older boy kept a list as
his gifts and cards came in the mail and did his thank you's all at once,
again no reminders but I did mail them for him.
My neighbor complained to the high heavens about begging and prodding and
demanding her son write thank you notes for the very generous gifts he had
received. He never did and finally she did it herself.
She asked how I got MY children to do it, I didn't "get" them to do it. If
thank you notes are important to you, then just let your children see YOU doing
it early on as a natural consequence of a gift or kindness.
We always send flowers to our hostess after returning from a visit with
anyone as well. My children still do this too. My sons rarely stay overnight with
anyone but my older daughter often visits friends from college or a weekend
with another friends parents at the beach. My sons might ask that I go online
and send _________ some flowers because (usually a Mom of a friend) put up
with them all weekend or cooked for them or something. My daughter just does it
on her own. So it's just a nice thing to do when others have been kind to you
when they didn't have to at all.
People like it when you remember kindness. I'm not saying a genuine thank
you given in person isn't enough, for some people it is. I also don't think a
written note is any less genuine. Are there gifts you are really unthankful
for? I've had gift that I didn't like or couldn't wear or use, but I've always
been able to say "thank you for the gift, it was very thoughtful of you to
think of me" or "thank you for remembering me on my birthday, it was very
special". There are ways to get around sounding less than genuine if you absolutely
hated a gift. Kids almost always LOVE every gift in someway.
So the best way to get your kids to WANT to send notes? Just have it be a
part of their growing up years. It doesn't have to be a burden to send them but
just a part of receiving a kindness or gift.
glena
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]