Olivia

> Date: Tue, 28 Mar 2000 09:34:12 CST
> From: "Trisha Sides" <yschild@...>
> My son is an only child, and when the cable was on I think he used the
>tv alot for company. His friends are all in school during the day and we
>have met very few unschoolers in Topeka, KS. Does anyone else have a "lonely
>only"? How do you deal with it? My husband and I did not choose to not have
>more children, we have just been unable. It was amiracle that we got Gary.
>We might adopt someday but are not financially able now.


To Trisha and Tracy and other mothers of only homeschooled children:

This subject could not have been raised at a more perfect time, since this
is the issue I am struggling with right now. My son will be 7 next month
and this has been our first year officially homeschooling. He has been
feeling more lonely lately, and has been turning back to the TV as a
result. He has expressed that there is nobody to play with because
"everyone else is in school", and that he wished he had a friend around all
the time. We have joined two homeschooling groups and participate in
several regular activities, but I think he misses a daily or one-on-one
friendship with someone other than me. We haven't had many playdates with
other homeschoolers because they all have their own busy schedules, and a
lot of the kids are older by 2-3 years. Plus, there aren't any other kids
his age in the neighborhood and his best friend from school last year has
become distant; they don't seem to share the same interests anymore. He
hasn't really complained too much about wanting more friends until this
spring. I think it's because a lot of our regular activities are ending for
the year. Perhaps I am overly sensitive to how he feels because I was an
only myself. Unfortunately, I can't always provide him with a friend for
all our field trips and outdoor activities.


<<Date: Tue, 28 Mar 2000 10:30:11 EST
From: hartshape2@...
That is the way my 5 yr old son is. He's an only child. Most of the time he
won't even want to paint without me! I try not to dwell on him being
dependent, and I just jump in if I have time. Sometimes he just needs a
start with me and I can leave him. I think he sees me as a friend to play
with, too. Not just a provider or a guider!>>


This is usually true for us as well. So I feel badly when basic household
duties (cooking, cleaning) leave him with large blocks of alone time.
(Although I know kids need plenty of free time to think and be bored too.)
Sometimes I try to make suggestions for things that he can do to occupy his
time (he reads well but won't yet sit down and read alone), but he rejects
them all and turns on the TV. I say no TV and he turns it back on. I think
I'm going to need to pull the plug or remove the TV for a while to break
the habit. It's my own fault for turning the TV on 7 years ago! I have
tried putting aside the household stuff and offering to do anything he
wants (games, puzzles, etc.), but lately he seems to prefer TV watching. Is
this just a phase of homeschooling, or is it a function of being an only
child homeschooling without benefit of sibling play? I'm hoping this is
just a spring slump before a surge of new interests.

Sorry, but I just needed to worry and wonder out loud here...

Olivia