Sonia Ulan

Hi and WELCOME to the growing masses of homeschooling families!

Take it slow and easy. Don't place heavy-duty expectations on yourself
yet. Just get re-acquainted with having your girls home with you and
enjoy being an intact family again. Then, when you're ready, see what
the girls say. What do THEY want? What would please you as a family?
Don't fall into traps and don't feel the need to necessarily do what
everyone else is doing. Figure out what works for you. In reality,
that could take a year or longer to recognize. Be spontaneous! Cherish
every moment.


mcmich@... wrote:
>
> From: mcmich@...
>
> Hi everyone! New to the list and am seriously
> considering homeschooling. There is much more
> info available than I realized! I have three
> girls and two are in school, 4th grade & kindergarten.
> Until last year I felt my 9 year old was stimulated
> and challenged, not anymore! I don't think my
> children are necessarily gifted but they are
> certainly capable of much more than what is
> currently being offered in public school.
> I realize that pre-planning is the key to a
> successful start in educating them at home.
> I have visited many web sites and requested info
> from some regarding Home school association
> memberships. I have been told not to go through
> my school district. I also ordered a book titled
> "Homeschool Almanac"
> I would appreciate any suggestions or comments
> from those of you who could help me make this
> a smooth transition for my girls. Specifically
> what I need to look for in an association,
> Curriculum and other tips. Thanks a bunch!
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
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libbygirl

My only advice to you really is to read, read, read and then...read some
more! I started off wanting to be prepared too and get the "right"
resources, buy the "right" curriculum..now seven years down the track we are
unschooling and loving it!!

However, when I was just gathering info about homeschooling this
unschooling-thing (LOL) might have seemed too scary for me. It requires such
a huge shift in our paradigms.

Still if you read Gatto, and Holt and as many different articles as you
possibly can, you will begin to have an idea of the huge smorgasboard (sp?)
of opportunities that await you. Unschooling is life and as Auntie Mame puts
is "Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!"

Regards,
Brooke

[email protected]

In a message dated 03/22/2000 7:25:07 AM !!!First Boot!!!,
mcmich@... writes:

<< "Homeschool Almanac"
I would appreciate any suggestions or comments
from those of you who could help me make this
a smooth transition for my girls. Specifically
what I need to look for in an association,
Curriculum and other tips. Thanks a bunch!
>>


"Academic reasons" -- when someone asks why we hs, that's what I say. If
your kids are bright or gifted, imo, ps doesn't challenge or even offer new
material often enough to make it liveable. At least around here! (Martin
County, Florida). (My kids: 6 3/4 yo son and 5 yo daughter, FYI. So we're
pretty new to all of this too!)

And it seems to me that's why you are headed in this direction too.

Well, unschooling is quite different from other types of hsing. So you will
probably want to read all about those differences. Your library might have a
good book or 2 on the different schools of hsing.

And, just to make your life more complicated, unschooling is done in a number
of different ways, differing from family to family.

I think the bottom line is that you have to take some time and figure out
what works for you and yours. Use some curriculum or not, outside lessons or
not, join a support group or not, live at the library or not, etc. We do
some of all of the above and it is constantly changing.

One sanity check I did at the beginning was to go online to the state's
standards (if you are in Fla I can tell you the web site, if not it's pretty
easy to find). These are a line-by-line description of what the schools are
supposed to be teaching the kids at each age. It was not impressive, except
in its volume. But once I read thru what was expected at each grade level, I
KNEW we could and would do so much more. So, that was reassuring. And, even
if that is not your focus, and for many folks it is not, it might give you
some ideas.

Other than that, I think you have to explore and read, maybe ask your 9 yo
what she wants to do (but if she's anything like my kids it will change),
talk to everyone (you'd be surprised how many of us there are out there) and
get comfortable with the whole idea yourself.

This is a friendly list that is good for bouncing ideas off of if you run
into any questions. So, feel free to bounce.

Good luck with everything.

Nance

[email protected]

In a message dated 3/22/00 1:39:10 AM Central Standard Time,
libbygirl@... writes:

<< Unschooling is life and as Auntie Mame puts
is "Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!" >>

I love this quote. Auntie Mame is my favorite unschooler! I read that book
so many times, as a child and continuing into adulthood, that it is tattered
beyond repair. Dontcha love it at the end when Mame wants to take Patrick's
child with her on her travels and Patrick nearly gets the vapors?! LOVE that
book!
KIM

[email protected]

I too, am relatively new at unschooling. It has helped me to ask many
questions, and to read everything I can get my hands on. Also, because I am
a former teacher, I have to really work on relaxing, and not pushing too
much. This is hard for me, but I am working at it, earnestly. One thing
that I will say, is to try not to re-create school in your own home. In my
opinion, it defeats the purpose of taking your kids out of school. You will
not need to create a rigid schedule that cannot be deviated from, and you
will not need to have desks for your children and yourself. You can "teach"
on the front porch, in the car, stretched out on the floor, etc... Be
comfortable with each other. If everyone is tired, do not push ; you will
have that freedom, that teachers and students do not, so take advantage of
that freedom. Your children will benefit from it. Also, do not think you
have to make everything into a lesson-- this can lead to burn out. You do
not need to worry that you need to have your children doing something on task
for 6hrs a day! Micki Colfax, author of Hard Times in Paradise, and
Homeschooling For Excellence said that if you give your child 2 hrs a day of
one on one time, he or she will achieve in one year 3times the amount of on
task time when compared to conventionally schooled children. You can't beat
that! Relax, and enjoy, and congratulations on taking charge of your
children's education!
Karen

[email protected]

In a message dated 3/21/2000 11:25:06 PM Pacific Standard Time,
mcmich@... writes:

<< I don't think my
children are necessarily gifted >>

The first thing I had to realize is that all children are gifted. You just
have to figure out what they are gifted at. I am not talking the gifted of
the schools but that all children, all people for that matter have strengths
and, well, gifts:) One of the best ways to do this is not tie them down with
a curriculum. It will be a big impulse for you to do this, but try to
resist..... If you are rejecting the school system, don't try to recreate it
at home. If you have taken your children out of school already I would
suggest a vacation, go to the library a lot, watch what kind of books they're
interested in, give them some time to get used to not being in school every
day. While you're at the Library, pick up the following books: The Homeschool
Reader, The Unschooling handbook, The Teenage Liberation handbook, ( Has
incredible ideas and resources on what a good education can be.)
Here are some sites you might want to check out.
<A HREF="http://www.inspirit.com.au/unschooling/">Homeschooling - Christian
Unschooling - Natural Learning</A>
<A HREF="http://learninfreedom.org/">School Is Dead; Learn in Freedom!</A> <A
HREF="http://www.holtgws.com/">Holt GWS Web Site</A>
<A HREF="http://www.suite101.com/welcome.cfm/unschooling">Unschooling -
Suite101.com</A>
Hope this helps
Teri

Sue

Hi Jackie,

There are many forms of playing where children do learn a lot,
maybe your daughter is doing more "learning" than you think?? I
don't know you or your daughter, but I would still give the advice
[you did ask(-; ] that you not push her and that one day you will be
pleasantly surprised.

Deprogramming, yes I believe that is what children who have been
to school need before they can be enthusiastic about anything that
looks remotely like it may be educational, I call it "Deschooling"
though your word is very good as school does "programe" children,
and it does a good job at what it aims to do... make obedient
clones who have forgotten how to think for themselves. By taking
so many hours of our children's lives and putting them on the
school treadmill they steal so much from them. Time is so
important, childhood does not last for very long and the mind is so
like a sponge ready to absorb all sorts of things. School teaches
that nothing is ever so important that the bell can be ignored, no
matter how interested some children may be in a certain lesson,
the bell rings and they are meant to switch their minds off that
subject and onto another. This programmes us well for the work-
force, do as you are told, and do it in the time frame the boss tells
you to.

Televison does the same thing in many ways, one half hour on this
subject, then onto another no matter how curious you may be
about what you have just seen. The internet on the other hand
doesn't really place time limits on a child's curiosity, and doesn't
require that they sit still and "watch the whole show" like with
some documentary on television. My kids prefer to have shows
taped, so they can watch them over again, rewind to rehear a
certain part of the show and be able to turn it off and return later to
see more.

Gotta go, life is calling!


> From: kayelle42@...
>
> Dear sue,
> Thank-you so much for sharing about your son really not doing
> much for a year. My 11 year old daughter was in public school until I took
> her out in the middle of fourth grade. This past sept. began our first
> attempt to try to unschool. I must say I have been very frustrated as it
> seems that she has no interest in doing anything except play! She is a very
> creative and imaginative child; the public school experience for her was
> like putting a bird into a cage. I saw her spirit which I admire and envy,
> being completely stifled. But at home she seemed so uninterested in anything
> I would really call learning. Even when we go to the library, she'll
> sometimes just sit there with no interest in finding a book. I usually pick
> the books and then read them to her. I have been thinking that the public
> school experience turned her off completely to anything that even looks like
> learning. I have really felt that she almost needs time to be deprogrammed!
> Do you think this makes sense? I am just not sure how much or even if I
> should push her. Thanks, jackie



- Sue -

The Winona Farm in Minnesota Welcomes Unschoolers All Year Round
My website: http://members.xoom.com/sue_m_e
Farm website: http://homepage.rconnect.com/winfarm
Farm newsletter: http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/Winonafarm

"To believe in something, and not to live it, is to be dishonest."
-Mahatma Gandhi

[email protected]

In a message dated 03/22/2000 5:05:54 PM !!!First Boot!!!, unschoolr2@...
writes:

<< < I don't think my
children are necessarily gifted >>

The first thing I had to realize is that all children are gifted. You just
have to figure out what they are gifted at. >>


Well, there's this opinion and then there are others.

If you are seeking more info on gifted issues, you might try the hoagies page:

http://www.hoagiesgifted.org


This page answered a lot of our questions and provides a lot of interesting
and informative links.

Nance

libbygirl

Wow Kim,
Maybe we are onto something here - anyone else feel that the seeds of their
wanting to "unschool" their kids may have been sown by this wonderful book!!
LOL

Regards,
Brooke

[email protected]

Dear sue,
Thank-you so much for sharing about your son really not doing
much for a year. My 11 year old daughter was in public school until I took
her out in the middle of fourth grade. This past sept. began our first
attempt to try to unschool. I must say I have been very frustrated as it
seems that she has no interest in doing anything except play! She is a very
creative and imaginative child; the public school experience for her was
like putting a bird into a cage. I saw her spirit which I admire and envy,
being completely stifled. But at home she seemed so uninterested in anything
I would really call learning. Even when we go to the library, she'll
sometimes just sit there with no interest in finding a book. I usually pick
the books and then read them to her. I have been thinking that the public
school experience turned her off completely to anything that even looks like
learning. I have really felt that she almost needs time to be deprogrammed!
Do you think this makes sense? I am just not sure how much or even if I
should push her. Thanks, jackie

Shelley Mansberger

Sue,

Thanks for the Gandhi quote.....I needed to hear that today!

Shelley


----- Original Message -----
From: Sue <sue.m.e@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Wednesday, March 22, 2000 2:58 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Advice Needed


> From: "Sue" <sue.m.e@...>
>
> Hi mcmich@... [what's your name?],
>
> My advice is to just do it, take the children out of school and let
> them deschool for a while, they will need it. Then after watching
> them deschooling you may find [as I did] that your children learn
> lots of stuff without being taught.
>
> This can be a difficult concept to grasp while still in the school
> mindset, where we are encouraged to believe that children are
> empty vessels just waiting to be filled with information, and that the
> only way you can fill their heads is to force feed them.
>
> I believe that nothing could possibly be further from the truth, why
> look at all an infant learns in its first few years on the planet, a
> whole language, lots of complicated interactions between people,
> they know so much about the world, and no-one ever sat them at a
> desk and made them "learn". Real learning comes from curiosity
> and needs, and schooling merely seems to limit these things. The
> flame of curiosity is all but extinguished by schools attempt to
> make learning such a big deal, and when locked away from the real
> world for so many hours each day children have little in the way of
> needs, except maybe to escape from education.
>
> I have found that my daughter [1 1/2 years in school] and my son
> [6yrs in school] have regained that natural curiosity, it took very
> little time for my daughter but my son veged out and did nothing
> that seemed to indicate any return of his spirit for almost a year.
> Now after over three years away from school's damaging influence
> they are real learners following their interests and needs and
> teaching themselves through interaction with others, real life
> experiences, the internet, cd roms, books etc.
>
> UNSCHOOLING IS GREAT ! ! ! ! ! ! !
>
>
> - Sue -
>
> The Winona Farm in Minnesota Welcomes Unschoolers All Year Round
> My website: http://members.xoom.com/sue_m_e
> Farm website: http://homepage.rconnect.com/winfarm
> Farm newsletter: http://www.onelist.com/subscribe/Winonafarm
>
> "To believe in something, and not to live it, is to be dishonest."
> -Mahatma Gandhi
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> PERFORM CPR ON YOUR APR!
> Get a NextCard Visa, in 30 seconds! Get rates as low as
> 0.0% Intro or 9.9% Fixed APR and no hidden fees.
> Apply NOW!
> http://click.egroups.com/1/2121/7/_/448294/_/953744607/
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
> Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> To Unsubscribe: mailto:[email protected]
>
>
>

[email protected]

In a message dated 3/22/00 1:26:16 PM US Mountain Standard Time,
kayelle42@... writes:

<< I must say I have been very frustrated as it
seems that she has no interest in doing anything except play! She is a very
creative and imaginative child; the public school experience for her was
like putting a bird into a cage. I saw her spirit which I admire and envy,
being completely stifled. But at home she seemed so uninterested in
anything
I would really call learning. Even when we go to the library, she'll
sometimes just sit there with no interest in finding a book. I usually pick
the books and then read them to her. I have been thinking that the public
school experience turned her off completely to anything that even looks like
learning. I have really felt that she almost needs time to be deprogrammed!

Do you think this makes sense? >>

Wow does this sound like my son. BTW, I'm new to this list. I'm Yvonne, I
have 3 kids. And in the process of trying to learn about unschooling.
Because regular homeschooling is not working, it works for my son about as
well as school did.
Trying to get my hubby to go for unschooling, but he won't read web sites, or
books, so having to explain it to him is a slow going process.
ANyways, thought I'd pop my head up and say Hi.

Yvonne ~

[email protected]

Yvonne,
Good luck to you with your son. I hope we can both learn more from
being in this group. My husband is nervous about unschooling too. It is hard
to reassure him when I'm not sure either! I know public school is not right
for her, but I don't know if she's learning enough at home. Sometimes this
parent thing is really hard! jackie

[email protected]

In a message dated 3/22/00 3:22:58 PM Pacific Standard Time,
kayelle42@... writes:

<< Good luck to you with your son. I hope we can both learn more from
being in this group. My husband is nervous about unschooling too. It is hard
to reassure him when I'm not sure either! >>

Hi,
My husband was sure homeschooling was a bad idea when we started eight months
ago. He didn't tell me about his doubts until we were three months into it,
at which time the results he was seeing erased any doubts he had. Back then
we were doing a more structured school day. As of January, my 9 yod convinced
me, by way of how much she was learning during our holiday, that unschooling
was the best method for her. Dh has *major* doubts and concerns about this
style of hsing. No matter how much I explain to him, he thinks it it just
kids sitting around never doing anything. He doesn't believe kids will be
interested in doing anything that is even slightly challenging or difficult,
unless you force them.
What I have started doing, inspired by Betsy who is also on this list, is
writing down, in a daily journal, the main topics we cover and the
activities she participates in. I even keep notes on what my 18mod does, for
sentimental value. Although I don't break things down to specific subjects,
it might be helpfu. Of course, this might not go over too well during the
deschooling period, but it's an idea for the future. Dh likes to see
quantifiable things. I am also considering a test of basic skills at some
point. It will help allay his fears and get him on board and dd has no test
anxiety.
Good luck!
candice

[email protected]

Candice,
Thank you so much for the advice. I was keeping a journal in the
beginning and I let it slide. I think that will help my DH and me see that
she is actually doing things every day. Jackie

[email protected]

Hi! Where do you live? I am on Long Island if you need to hook up with some
h/s groups.
Bridget

[email protected]

I agree with Brooke!and am thankful she said it all so well since i am typing
with 1 finger as i nurse Emma!Get to a h/s conference! i heard Gatto speak
twice and it kept my batteries charged for years!
Bridget

[email protected]

In a message dated 03/23/2000 12:05:33 AM !!!First Boot!!!, kayelle42@...
writes:

<< Candice,
Thank you so much for the advice. I was keeping a journal in the
beginning and I let it slide. I think that will help my DH and me see that
she is actually doing things every day. Jackie
>>

Well, that's the requirement here -- a daily journal/log and a portfolio with
samples of what they have done. If you don't do standardized testing.

Anyway, I kind of like doing the journal. It makes me think about what we
did -- otherwise the days kind of blurrrr together!

Nance

Dara McMichael

WOW! I asked a few questions and what great responses I
received! Many thanks to Nance, Bridget, Sonia, Brooke,
Karen, Sue and Teri! I didn't imagine I would get so much
information from one BB. Needless to say, I have been
researching and visited many web sites and links. I am not
sure if I will unschool or home school yet but I do know
that i don't want to replicate a classroom environment in my
home. My 9 yr. old. loves to do her school projects at home
with me more than anything. She is an excellent student and
dislikes school. I know she is extremely intelligent and
needs much more than what is currently offered to her. My 6
year old is very enthusiastic about school but I know it is
her teacher that is the reason for that. In another year or
so she too will be bored and want to stay home with me.
South Carolina isn't exactly the best in educating its
children! Because I was able to select my daughters
teachers, I felt I could justify a public school education.
No more. I believe I will need to start their first year
with a curriculum since I have no idea how to begin without
one. I don't think it has to be rigid. I love taking them
on field trips. We all enjoy reading and researching info
on the web so I believe we can be much happier with
homeschooling/unschooling. I want my kids to be self
directed but I also believe I need to guide them into
subject matter that they wouldn't be interested in so they
can be more well rounded. Does anyone out there use a
curriculum or any part of one? There are so many sources of
information that I'm a bit nervous. Math & Science are
subjects in which I would need help. I also think I would
need to chart their progress on a monthly or quarterly
basis. At least until I am more comfortable with it! How
about testing? Do you test? How often? Where/when are
these hs conferences held?
I will read the books suggested and have already checked the
web sites so thanks again for the guidance. It is much
appreciated!
Dara
Charleston, Sc

K WORTHEN

Hi Dara,
Barnes and Noble is a great source for curriculums. You can get
a complete one for $40 or so. We just recently discovered five in a row. You
can check tem out at www.fiveinarow.com. We find that this works well for us
because it allows for flexability (the kids choosing what book we're going
to work on and what activity we'll do each night). It also gives us at least
one concrete thing to look at each day to give us a feeling of
accomplishment. Check it out I think you'll like it.
Amy
----- Original Message -----
From: "Dara McMichael" <mcmich@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Thursday, March 23, 2000 9:33 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Advice Needed


> From: Dara McMichael <mcmich@...>
>
> WOW! I asked a few questions and what great responses I
> received! Many thanks to Nance, Bridget, Sonia, Brooke,
> Karen, Sue and Teri! I didn't imagine I would get so much
> information from one BB. Needless to say, I have been
> researching and visited many web sites and links. I am not
> sure if I will unschool or home school yet but I do know
> that i don't want to replicate a classroom environment in my
> home. My 9 yr. old. loves to do her school projects at home
> with me more than anything. She is an excellent student and
> dislikes school. I know she is extremely intelligent and
> needs much more than what is currently offered to her. My 6
> year old is very enthusiastic about school but I know it is
> her teacher that is the reason for that. In another year or
> so she too will be bored and want to stay home with me.
> South Carolina isn't exactly the best in educating its
> children! Because I was able to select my daughters
> teachers, I felt I could justify a public school education.
> No more. I believe I will need to start their first year
> with a curriculum since I have no idea how to begin without
> one. I don't think it has to be rigid. I love taking them
> on field trips. We all enjoy reading and researching info
> on the web so I believe we can be much happier with
> homeschooling/unschooling. I want my kids to be self
> directed but I also believe I need to guide them into
> subject matter that they wouldn't be interested in so they
> can be more well rounded. Does anyone out there use a
> curriculum or any part of one? There are so many sources of
> information that I'm a bit nervous. Math & Science are
> subjects in which I would need help. I also think I would
> need to chart their progress on a monthly or quarterly
> basis. At least until I am more comfortable with it! How
> about testing? Do you test? How often? Where/when are
> these hs conferences held?
> I will read the books suggested and have already checked the
> web sites so thanks again for the guidance. It is much
> appreciated!
> Dara
> Charleston, Sc
>
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> GET A NEXTCARD VISA, in 30 seconds! Get rates
> as low as 0.0% Intro APR and no hidden fees.
> Apply NOW!
> http://click.egroups.com/1/975/7/_/448294/_/953821939/
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
> Message boards, timely articles, a free newsletter and more!
> Check it all out at: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> To Unsubscribe: mailto:[email protected]
>
>

Dara McMichael

Amy,
Thanks a lot for the info! I will check it out tomorrow! I
appreciate your help.
Dara

Lisa Bugg

> I realize that pre-planning is the key to a
> successful start in educating them at home.
> I have visited many web sites and requested info
> from some regarding Home school association
> memberships. I have been told not to go through
> my school district. I also ordered a book titled
> "Homeschool Almanac"
> I would appreciate any suggestions or comments
> from those of you who could help me make this
> a smooth transition for my girls. >

Hi and Welcome!

If preplanning is the key to a successful start, a great many of us
are in trouble. In reality I have to disagree completely. (this is not a
new trait. <g>) Trying to preplan homeschooling is like trying to preplan
labor. You get this nice birth plan all written out, you get all your
assistants and care-givers on the same sheet of music. You feel that first
little twinge of impending labor and everyone gets all excited. The first
real labor contraction hits and well..........who knew you could swear like
a sailor??? Marines blushed with the birth of my 2rd child and my goodness
I had already had one child, didn't I know what I was getting into? Birth
plans were turned into paper airplanes and sent on their way. You can't
preplan homeschooling, because you have no real idea of what homeschooling
will look like until you actually start.

Smooth transitions come by reading and thinking and talking, with
homeschoolers and with your children directly. . Depending on the
experiences your children have had in school, you'll need to take time to
just veg out and take a look around. Get to know each other again. If your
children have been hurt then this transition time is a healing time. We
need to know more about your girls to help you see what might happen at
first. All of you need to explore what you think homeschooling will be
like... what you hope it will be like. It will take time to find your sea
legs. Don't rush.

Eventually, you'll realize that you can learn physics and environmentalism
from those paper airplanes. ;)

Lisa

[email protected]

In a message dated 03/29/2000 7:53:16 AM Central Standard Time,
LisaBugg@... writes:

> ..........who knew you could swear like
> a sailor??? Marines blushed with the birth of my 2rd child and my goodness
> I had already had one child, didn't I know what I was getting into? Birth
> plans were turned into paper airplanes and sent on their way.

You should have had a warning label on this email! I was drinking my morning
coffee and almost spit it all over the monitor! How funny!
You are exactly right about pre-planning. You can pre-plan all you want, but
it's a waste of time and sometimes money. I know that anything I bought
before we started, I ended up selling on a used curriculum board. It is
something that you have to figure out as you go. Just let yourself
experience it and you'll figure out you and your children's learning styles.

-Tracy-

Trisha Sides

Hi Lisa,
This sounds so like me. I unschool my son and it's wonderful. He often
amazes me with the things he's learned seemingly "all by himself". I know
this is the right path for us, but all it takes is one "concerned" friend or
relative to ask "Aren't you going to "teach" him anything?" or compare my
son to public school kids, and the self doubt just comes rolling in. My
advice: just roll with it , it passes. If you're truly doing what's right
for Your family, and it sounds like you are, then the doubts come and go. I
think that's probably true for all the "big" decisions parents make for
their kids.
Hang in there.
Trisha

> >
>Hi, my name is Lisa and I have been homeschooling my children since
>January. I have no support for homeschooling on my side of the family
>except my husband (whose idea it orginally was to hs)and my children
>who are totally all for it. I love having my children home with me
>all day long and enjoy being with them. I just started the
>unschooling approach about a month or two ago. I love it and so do
>the children! I would never send them back to ps again unless the
>children insisted that they wanted to go. But, I don't think that
>will happen anytime soon! Anyway my problem is my mom. She just
>totally opposes the idea of homeschooling especially unschooling. I
>tried to keep the whole unschooling idea in the closet, hidden from
>her so I wouldn't have to try to explain the idea behind it all. She
>is so narrow minded on the subject and argues that the kids "will
>never learn beyond what I know or what's around them to know." I
>tried to tell her that children will learn in any area that interests
>them far beyond what I know or can tell them. That I have learned far
>beyond what she or any public school has taught me. That I went on to
>learn things in areas that interest me. I know I don't live my life
>or raise my children to make her happy but it bothers me when I don't
>have her support. Does anyone know how I could handle this situation
>better? I get so upset and teary eyed everytime she puts me down for
>what I feel like is best for my children. Then I start wondering if
>they won't learn properly. Will they learn enough by unschooling. Can
>anyone reassure me of my decision to homeschool?
>Lisa, whose confused and upset at the moment.
>

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Sonia Ulan

Jackie;

If it helps at all to know you are not alone, my relationship with my
in-laws stinks too. They are both teachers as is my sis-in-law. So I
can relate to the feeling of being "totally nuts with our alternative
lifestyle-type" decisions. I too know the sensitive converstations
related to breastfeeding, homeschooling or vaccinations and have learned
to just not tell people what I can keep to myself. If some people can't
handle some information then I don't think it's a (real) lie to withold
facts from them. Like we don't always tell our kids EVERYTHING all the
time. They're too young or immature to understand some concepts. So
until they are ready/mature-enough they won't know everything. If the
time comes that the in-laws have indicated their readiness for more
knowledge than we will share more with them. It's a self-preservation
thing. For all concerned.

Sonia

kayelle42@... wrote:
>
> Lisa
> I don't really have any advice for you about your mom, but I can say I
> sympathize. I have been unschooling my daughter since September, and I have
> not told anyone on my husband's side! I am sure of the negative response I
> would get and I don't want to hear it. Luckily, they live in Fla. so it
> isn't too hard to hide although there have been some close calls! It is very
> hard to live a lie and I hate it. But you have to understand that my FIL
> hated that I breastfed! He thought I was being totally selfish not allowing
> anyone else to feed her! And, when he found out that we were not vaccinating
> my daughter, he told me he would kill me if anything happened to her! He
> thinks I am a total nut and often talks behind my back to other members of
> the family. So you can see why I didn't rush to tell him she's unschooled!
> The only thing is, I feel like maybe now we should tell since we are sure
> that she will again be home next year. I don't know what to do- either way,
> it stinks. Jackie
>
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