[email protected]

In a message dated 5/30/03 1:45:33 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
skreams@... writes:

> Seven is not very big. Every once in a while I see my 6 1/2 year old from
> a
> certain angle (and my 10 1/2 year old too) and it occurs to me that they are
> really LITTLE. In so many ways they seem so grown up, but they're not.


This is so true. I remember when JP was born, Landon was 8.5, he became the
oldest of 4 children. He seemed so "old", so "big", he was so capable and
independent. It was like he was now the REALLY big brother. Like he was half
grown or something.. lol. That was my initial feelings right after JP was
born and the first few days after we brought him home. Then, one night, Landon
came into our bedroom as I was feeding JP ( probably more like early
morning) He just woke up from a dream or something and came in for some comfort and
reassurance. And it hit me like a faceful of cold water.

HE IS ONLY 8 YEARS OLD! He is ONLY 8 years old. The stone cold reality
of his actual age. 8 years! 8 short years. He was still just a "baby"
himself in many ways. That one moment of realization made all the difference in my
perception of Landon as "old enough" to withstand this or that. Or to do
without "this or that" Yes, compared to a newborn, even compared to Ethan at 3
and Anna at 5, he WAS older, more mature and capable.. BUT, he was still just 8
years old. I thought of it in terms of what if he was an only child at 8? 8
is 8 whether you are the only child or the oldest of a whole brood. ( or the
oldest of 2 children).

In this epiphany, I also realized where a lot of my husband's relationship
with his family came from. He was the oldest of 5 children. The youngest
being born when he was 14. He was the chief cook and bottle washer probably
since he was about 8 ( when baby # 4 was born). His parents relied heavily on him
to be the big helper, the leader, the one they could count on.. Not all
"bad" stuff, but just a lot of responsibility for an 8 year old. They seemed to
do exactly what Sandra said earlier. In essence, they "gave thier oldest child
away" They took away his childhood, his dependency on them. They promoted
him up to thier right hand man and expected him to just grow up and not need
them anymore.

They still have that attitude now with us as his family. His siblings and
thier families are always being "loaned" money, help with thier kids (
babysitting, paying for lessons, buying clothes, etc) Our family probably struggles
more than any of the others( financially), but thier attitude is.. OH, Gralyn
will be fine, he's tough, he does not need our help. Afterall, he is the
oldest, right?

Any age is just an age, no matter what birth order postion a kid ends up in.
7 IS little. 7 still needs Mommy.



Teresa





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Shyrley

grlynbl@... wrote:

> > Seven is not very big. Every once in a while I see my 6 1/2 year old from
> > a
> > certain angle (and my 10 1/2 year old too) and it occurs to me that they are
> > really LITTLE. In so many ways they seem so grown up, but they're not.
>

I wish other people would realise this too. My youngest has/had a bit of a foul mouth when 6 and still now when 7 and because of his temper two people stopped being my friends - by email too, how
thoughtful - It just stunned me that they would do this over what a small child said, cut off what I thought were good friendships.

Now I feel nervous whenever the youngest opens his mouth around my American friends. It's not an issue back home, people would just ignore it and not take it persoannly. After all, he's only 7 and 7 is
very little.

sigh

Shyrley


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

coyote's corner

Thanks so very much. Brianna is both an only child and oldest sibling. Here, at home - she's the oldest. At her mom's - she's the oldest. She likes being an only child much better. I see where her bio-mom has Brianna assume responsibilty for the younger kids.
Brianna is only ten and not used to being in a crowd of 6 & 7 year olds.

I'm going to print this out and give it to my daughter.
Janis
----- Original Message -----
From: grlynbl@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, May 30, 2003 8:59 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Was "Schedules and classes" Now - 7 is still little.


In a message dated 5/30/03 1:45:33 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
skreams@... writes:

> Seven is not very big. Every once in a while I see my 6 1/2 year old from
> a
> certain angle (and my 10 1/2 year old too) and it occurs to me that they are
> really LITTLE. In so many ways they seem so grown up, but they're not.


This is so true. I remember when JP was born, Landon was 8.5, he became the
oldest of 4 children. He seemed so "old", so "big", he was so capable and
independent. It was like he was now the REALLY big brother. Like he was half
grown or something.. lol. That was my initial feelings right after JP was
born and the first few days after we brought him home. Then, one night, Landon
came into our bedroom as I was feeding JP ( probably more like early
morning) He just woke up from a dream or something and came in for some comfort and
reassurance. And it hit me like a faceful of cold water.

HE IS ONLY 8 YEARS OLD! He is ONLY 8 years old. The stone cold reality
of his actual age. 8 years! 8 short years. He was still just a "baby"
himself in many ways. That one moment of realization made all the difference in my
perception of Landon as "old enough" to withstand this or that. Or to do
without "this or that" Yes, compared to a newborn, even compared to Ethan at 3
and Anna at 5, he WAS older, more mature and capable.. BUT, he was still just 8
years old. I thought of it in terms of what if he was an only child at 8? 8
is 8 whether you are the only child or the oldest of a whole brood. ( or the
oldest of 2 children).

In this epiphany, I also realized where a lot of my husband's relationship
with his family came from. He was the oldest of 5 children. The youngest
being born when he was 14. He was the chief cook and bottle washer probably
since he was about 8 ( when baby # 4 was born). His parents relied heavily on him
to be the big helper, the leader, the one they could count on.. Not all
"bad" stuff, but just a lot of responsibility for an 8 year old. They seemed to
do exactly what Sandra said earlier. In essence, they "gave thier oldest child
away" They took away his childhood, his dependency on them. They promoted
him up to thier right hand man and expected him to just grow up and not need
them anymore.

They still have that attitude now with us as his family. His siblings and
thier families are always being "loaned" money, help with thier kids (
babysitting, paying for lessons, buying clothes, etc) Our family probably struggles
more than any of the others( financially), but thier attitude is.. OH, Gralyn
will be fine, he's tough, he does not need our help. Afterall, he is the
oldest, right?

Any age is just an age, no matter what birth order postion a kid ends up in.
7 IS little. 7 still needs Mommy.



Teresa





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

coyote's corner

oopps
I meant that Brianna is an only child here - at home.

I think I'll go have a cup of strong British (kick butt) tea!
Janis
----- Original Message -----
From: coyote's corner
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, May 30, 2003 9:14 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Was "Schedules and classes" Now - 7 is still little.


Thanks so very much. Brianna is both an only child and oldest sibling. Here, at home - she's the oldest. At her mom's - she's the oldest. She likes being an only child much better. I see where her bio-mom has Brianna assume responsibilty for the younger kids.
Brianna is only ten and not used to being in a crowd of 6 & 7 year olds.

I'm going to print this out and give it to my daughter.
Janis
----- Original Message -----
From: grlynbl@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, May 30, 2003 8:59 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Was "Schedules and classes" Now - 7 is still little.


In a message dated 5/30/03 1:45:33 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
skreams@... writes:

> Seven is not very big. Every once in a while I see my 6 1/2 year old from
> a
> certain angle (and my 10 1/2 year old too) and it occurs to me that they are
> really LITTLE. In so many ways they seem so grown up, but they're not.


This is so true. I remember when JP was born, Landon was 8.5, he became the
oldest of 4 children. He seemed so "old", so "big", he was so capable and
independent. It was like he was now the REALLY big brother. Like he was half
grown or something.. lol. That was my initial feelings right after JP was
born and the first few days after we brought him home. Then, one night, Landon
came into our bedroom as I was feeding JP ( probably more like early
morning) He just woke up from a dream or something and came in for some comfort and
reassurance. And it hit me like a faceful of cold water.

HE IS ONLY 8 YEARS OLD! He is ONLY 8 years old. The stone cold reality
of his actual age. 8 years! 8 short years. He was still just a "baby"
himself in many ways. That one moment of realization made all the difference in my
perception of Landon as "old enough" to withstand this or that. Or to do
without "this or that" Yes, compared to a newborn, even compared to Ethan at 3
and Anna at 5, he WAS older, more mature and capable.. BUT, he was still just 8
years old. I thought of it in terms of what if he was an only child at 8? 8
is 8 whether you are the only child or the oldest of a whole brood. ( or the
oldest of 2 children).

In this epiphany, I also realized where a lot of my husband's relationship
with his family came from. He was the oldest of 5 children. The youngest
being born when he was 14. He was the chief cook and bottle washer probably
since he was about 8 ( when baby # 4 was born). His parents relied heavily on him
to be the big helper, the leader, the one they could count on.. Not all
"bad" stuff, but just a lot of responsibility for an 8 year old. They seemed to
do exactly what Sandra said earlier. In essence, they "gave thier oldest child
away" They took away his childhood, his dependency on them. They promoted
him up to thier right hand man and expected him to just grow up and not need
them anymore.

They still have that attitude now with us as his family. His siblings and
thier families are always being "loaned" money, help with thier kids (
babysitting, paying for lessons, buying clothes, etc) Our family probably struggles
more than any of the others( financially), but thier attitude is.. OH, Gralyn
will be fine, he's tough, he does not need our help. Afterall, he is the
oldest, right?

Any age is just an age, no matter what birth order postion a kid ends up in.
7 IS little. 7 still needs Mommy.



Teresa





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]


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ADVERTISEMENT




~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~

If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).

To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]


Yahoo! Groups Sponsor





~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~

If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).

To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
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Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

The Dyers

Any age is just an age, no matter what birth order postion a kid ends up in.
7 IS little. 7 still needs Mommy. *****

He came and sat on my lap just now. He is such a magnificent creature. I am *so blessed.

Patty



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]