Bedtime questions
Olga
Hi everyone,
Gosh..been gone since Friday and the mail did me in! Finally, I gave
up and thought it will be easier to start from scratch and erased
it! Probably missed out on some great things, oh well..LOL!!
Anyway, I had a question about bedtime. We are pretty relaxed about
bedtime. I have been trying to get my older son to regulate his own
bedtime. The 2 yo seems to be better at is because if he is tired he
will either stay in his bed or fall asleep somewhere in the afternoon
and get a nice nap. My almost 5yo is different. I have no problem
with him staying up later. However, he usually fights the idea of
going to bed because he wants to stay up and force Dad to play Harry
potter on the computer! I would not mind except after a few 10
oclock nights and no naps he is just a crabby little boy. The
reality is he need more sleep. How do I allow him to go to bed when
he is tired which is never before 10 if he is not directed to go to
bed and still be a happy, well rested child? Then, I end up
*forcing* a nap so he is back to himself. We seem to be stuck in
this cycle, any ideas??
Olga :)
Gosh..been gone since Friday and the mail did me in! Finally, I gave
up and thought it will be easier to start from scratch and erased
it! Probably missed out on some great things, oh well..LOL!!
Anyway, I had a question about bedtime. We are pretty relaxed about
bedtime. I have been trying to get my older son to regulate his own
bedtime. The 2 yo seems to be better at is because if he is tired he
will either stay in his bed or fall asleep somewhere in the afternoon
and get a nice nap. My almost 5yo is different. I have no problem
with him staying up later. However, he usually fights the idea of
going to bed because he wants to stay up and force Dad to play Harry
potter on the computer! I would not mind except after a few 10
oclock nights and no naps he is just a crabby little boy. The
reality is he need more sleep. How do I allow him to go to bed when
he is tired which is never before 10 if he is not directed to go to
bed and still be a happy, well rested child? Then, I end up
*forcing* a nap so he is back to himself. We seem to be stuck in
this cycle, any ideas??
Olga :)
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/29/03 9:42:13 PM, britcontoo@... writes:
<< How do I allow him to go to bed when
he is tired which is never before 10 if he is not directed to go to
bed and still be a happy, well rested child? Then, I end up
*forcing* a nap so he is back to himself. We seem to be stuck in
this cycle, any ideas?? >>
Soothing videos
rock and sing to him softly
take him for long car rides, with a pillow, and a window shade
Even if he doesn't fall alseep he'll get still and rest some.
Sandra
<< How do I allow him to go to bed when
he is tired which is never before 10 if he is not directed to go to
bed and still be a happy, well rested child? Then, I end up
*forcing* a nap so he is back to himself. We seem to be stuck in
this cycle, any ideas?? >>
Soothing videos
rock and sing to him softly
take him for long car rides, with a pillow, and a window shade
Even if he doesn't fall alseep he'll get still and rest some.
Sandra
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/30/2003 7:24:48 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
treegoddess@... writes:
houses. This was before safety belts, and Johnny and I would climb in the back of
the station wagon with blankets and pillows. I would write down license plate
numbers---in kind of an alphabetical order. I had a notebook I took with me. I
would write down the numbers and letters.
In 1966-68, the most common number was "8" and the most common letter was
"S". <g>
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
treegoddess@... writes:
> but if we go for a drive he usuallyMy parents did this MANY nights. They would drive and talk and look at
> conks out -- along with his 2yo sister. That's when my DH and I usually
> get to have really good discussions and connections... cruising down the
> road with our babies sleeping. :)
>
houses. This was before safety belts, and Johnny and I would climb in the back of
the station wagon with blankets and pillows. I would write down license plate
numbers---in kind of an alphabetical order. I had a notebook I took with me. I
would write down the numbers and letters.
In 1966-68, the most common number was "8" and the most common letter was
"S". <g>
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/30/2003 7:33:48 AM Eastern Standard Time,
kbcdlovejo@... writes:
Sunday night my dad took us all out to eat, and after we'd go for a "Sunday Drive."
We'd drive through downtown Long Beach (CA) and look at all the cool old
houses...if it was dark and the lights were on we'd sometimes be able to see the
people inside. Then I'd make up stories in my head about them. Sometimes
we'd drive along the coast...sometimes through the next town,...or often dad
would take us over one of the large bridges, or we'd drive around the Navy docks
and look at the ships. Dad was never one to use the air conditioner liberally
("The car'll overheat!") and it was a big AMC Ambassador with a huge vinyl
backseat and triangular back windows that got stuck sometimes...torture when
driving to San Diego or Monterrey in the summer!
Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
kbcdlovejo@... writes:
> My parents did this MANY nights. They would drive and talk and look atGosh this brings back memories. When my sister and I were little every
> houses. This was before safety belts, and Johnny and I would climb in the
> back of
> the station wagon with blankets and pillows.
Sunday night my dad took us all out to eat, and after we'd go for a "Sunday Drive."
We'd drive through downtown Long Beach (CA) and look at all the cool old
houses...if it was dark and the lights were on we'd sometimes be able to see the
people inside. Then I'd make up stories in my head about them. Sometimes
we'd drive along the coast...sometimes through the next town,...or often dad
would take us over one of the large bridges, or we'd drive around the Navy docks
and look at the ships. Dad was never one to use the air conditioner liberally
("The car'll overheat!") and it was a big AMC Ambassador with a huge vinyl
backseat and triangular back windows that got stuck sometimes...torture when
driving to San Diego or Monterrey in the summer!
Nancy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Mary
From: "Olga" <britcontoo@...>
<<How do I allow him to go to bed when he is tired which is never before 10
if he is not directed to go to
bed and still be a happy, well rested child? Then, I end up *forcing* a nap
so he is back to himself. We seem to be stuck in
this cycle, any ideas??>>
Hi Olga, hope you had a good time.
As far as bedtime goes, you have to do what feels comfortable for you.
Joseph is the same way. He ignores all signs of being tired. I've seen him
sit at the table just yawning away with his eyes half closed and still
drawing. He will stay up until 2 a.m. no problem. I don't have a problem
with that but after about 2 days, everyone ends up suffering his
consequences. He gets down right mean. He'll fight with Sierra and holler at
Alyssa and anytime we get together with other kids, he'll end up getting
very angry with them too. Not to mention getting upset with me and his dad.
He's just an all around grouch! When he goes to bed earlier, this just
doesn't happen. So I explain this all to him very clearly. I point out exact
things that happened. I explain how I see him ignoring the signs that he is
tired. I'm sure if I left him alone for a maybe even a month, he would
regulate, but I'm not willing to do that right now. He will lose friends in
the process and that bothers him too. Plus what happens here in the house.
So most night, when Sierra and Alyssa are tired, he knows I want him to go
to bed too after them. That's usually around 11-12. I also explain that if
he goes to bed early, he can wake up earlier and have his alone time then.
The girls need more sleep than he does. I've also explained how staying up
later and waking later doesn't really give him any more play time. I think
he was seeing it as extra time at night. Now he understands it doesn't work
that way! A few nights a week, I will tell him he can stay up later. I have
found that on those nights, he is trying to understand when he's getting
tired. He's been asking to go to bed around 1:00. This has all worked out
well for his disposition, for us and for him. He understands and if it's a
night where I think he needs his sleep and he asks to stay up, I make a deal
and tell him if he gets some sleep tonight, he can stay up tomorrow. As long
as he gets 2 good nights in a row, he's good to go. As he gets older, I feel
like he will get better at knowing what he needs. He knows now, he just
chooses to ignore it!!!!
Mary B
<<How do I allow him to go to bed when he is tired which is never before 10
if he is not directed to go to
bed and still be a happy, well rested child? Then, I end up *forcing* a nap
so he is back to himself. We seem to be stuck in
this cycle, any ideas??>>
Hi Olga, hope you had a good time.
As far as bedtime goes, you have to do what feels comfortable for you.
Joseph is the same way. He ignores all signs of being tired. I've seen him
sit at the table just yawning away with his eyes half closed and still
drawing. He will stay up until 2 a.m. no problem. I don't have a problem
with that but after about 2 days, everyone ends up suffering his
consequences. He gets down right mean. He'll fight with Sierra and holler at
Alyssa and anytime we get together with other kids, he'll end up getting
very angry with them too. Not to mention getting upset with me and his dad.
He's just an all around grouch! When he goes to bed earlier, this just
doesn't happen. So I explain this all to him very clearly. I point out exact
things that happened. I explain how I see him ignoring the signs that he is
tired. I'm sure if I left him alone for a maybe even a month, he would
regulate, but I'm not willing to do that right now. He will lose friends in
the process and that bothers him too. Plus what happens here in the house.
So most night, when Sierra and Alyssa are tired, he knows I want him to go
to bed too after them. That's usually around 11-12. I also explain that if
he goes to bed early, he can wake up earlier and have his alone time then.
The girls need more sleep than he does. I've also explained how staying up
later and waking later doesn't really give him any more play time. I think
he was seeing it as extra time at night. Now he understands it doesn't work
that way! A few nights a week, I will tell him he can stay up later. I have
found that on those nights, he is trying to understand when he's getting
tired. He's been asking to go to bed around 1:00. This has all worked out
well for his disposition, for us and for him. He understands and if it's a
night where I think he needs his sleep and he asks to stay up, I make a deal
and tell him if he gets some sleep tonight, he can stay up tomorrow. As long
as he gets 2 good nights in a row, he's good to go. As he gets older, I feel
like he will get better at knowing what he needs. He knows now, he just
chooses to ignore it!!!!
Mary B
Nicholina ODonnell
Hi Olga,
We've had some issues with a 5 year old regulating her own sleep, as well. She is very resistant to sleep. She always has been the type who doesn't want to miss anything. Her dad and I like to have a bit of time in the evening that we are awake, but not engaged with Davan, as well.
So, this is what we've come to. She has a room time, instead of a bed time. We do all the bed time stuff - snack, teeth brushing, a book if she wants one, hugs, kisses, good-nights at room time. Then she is responsible for herself. She doesn't have to stay in her room exclusively, she isn't a prisoner, but we do encourage her to be in her room. It's easier for her to remember that she's playing on her on.
She really likes listening to books on tape, so she has those on, which we don't allow on the main stereo after "room time", which also encourages her to play in her room. She listens to tapes and plays until she feels tired, then listens to tape in bed until she falls asleep. If she wakes up at night, she turns her tape back on and sometimes even gets up and plays again for a while. It turns out that she really likes to sleep with the lights on, as well. I've always thought it was very difficult to sleep well with the lights on, so have imposed lights out on her, but she doesn't need it.
Her dad leaves for work at 5 and goes in to say good morning every morning and reads her a poem (she likes poems). She then almost always joins me in bed for the rest of the morning. In my room, though, there is no tape to listen to and the room is dark. I don't think she'd want to be there all night due to this, but I must admit that I haven't offered. She used to family bed, but when we moved a little over a year ago she chose to start sleeping in her own bed in her own room. The novelty of it might have worn off and she might have started family bedding again, but we moved from a king to a double at the same time. So, we'd rather she wasn't there all night - too cramped.
The benefit of this plan to me is multifold. She's happy enough about "room time", so no bed time fights. I get a bit of time in the evening to relax without needing to engage. Here's a big one, though: I have no idea how much time she is sleeping, so I have no basis for thinking she is grumpy due to lack of sleep. Sometimes it seems that if I think she hasn't slept enough and is grumpy, it comes true.
I hope you find a solution!
Nicholina
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
We've had some issues with a 5 year old regulating her own sleep, as well. She is very resistant to sleep. She always has been the type who doesn't want to miss anything. Her dad and I like to have a bit of time in the evening that we are awake, but not engaged with Davan, as well.
So, this is what we've come to. She has a room time, instead of a bed time. We do all the bed time stuff - snack, teeth brushing, a book if she wants one, hugs, kisses, good-nights at room time. Then she is responsible for herself. She doesn't have to stay in her room exclusively, she isn't a prisoner, but we do encourage her to be in her room. It's easier for her to remember that she's playing on her on.
She really likes listening to books on tape, so she has those on, which we don't allow on the main stereo after "room time", which also encourages her to play in her room. She listens to tapes and plays until she feels tired, then listens to tape in bed until she falls asleep. If she wakes up at night, she turns her tape back on and sometimes even gets up and plays again for a while. It turns out that she really likes to sleep with the lights on, as well. I've always thought it was very difficult to sleep well with the lights on, so have imposed lights out on her, but she doesn't need it.
Her dad leaves for work at 5 and goes in to say good morning every morning and reads her a poem (she likes poems). She then almost always joins me in bed for the rest of the morning. In my room, though, there is no tape to listen to and the room is dark. I don't think she'd want to be there all night due to this, but I must admit that I haven't offered. She used to family bed, but when we moved a little over a year ago she chose to start sleeping in her own bed in her own room. The novelty of it might have worn off and she might have started family bedding again, but we moved from a king to a double at the same time. So, we'd rather she wasn't there all night - too cramped.
The benefit of this plan to me is multifold. She's happy enough about "room time", so no bed time fights. I get a bit of time in the evening to relax without needing to engage. Here's a big one, though: I have no idea how much time she is sleeping, so I have no basis for thinking she is grumpy due to lack of sleep. Sometimes it seems that if I think she hasn't slept enough and is grumpy, it comes true.
I hope you find a solution!
Nicholina
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 5/30/03 3:10:14 PM, arodonn@... writes:
<< Here's a big one, though: I have no idea how much time she is sleeping,
so I have no basis for thinking she is grumpy due to lack of sleep. >>
One of the biggest arguments against breastfeeding is that the mother no
longer knows how much milk the baby is drinking. Darned if it doesn't turn out
that it doesn't matter!
<< Sometimes it seems that if I think she hasn't slept enough and is grumpy,
it comes true.>>
When my kids seem grumpy I ask them to sleep more the next night. Usually
that's enough reminder just to help them maintain courtesy despite being tired.
It's another courtesy matter: If they aren't able to be nicer to people
because they're not sleeping enough or eating enough protein or drinking enough
water (dehydration's a constant consideration here, kids go play at the park
with a gallon of water), then THEY are not doing what they need to do to live
civilly and peacefully with other people.
We help them out, but we don't MAKE them sleep or eat. We do say "sunscreen
and water!" quite a bit.
Sandra
<< Here's a big one, though: I have no idea how much time she is sleeping,
so I have no basis for thinking she is grumpy due to lack of sleep. >>
One of the biggest arguments against breastfeeding is that the mother no
longer knows how much milk the baby is drinking. Darned if it doesn't turn out
that it doesn't matter!
<< Sometimes it seems that if I think she hasn't slept enough and is grumpy,
it comes true.>>
When my kids seem grumpy I ask them to sleep more the next night. Usually
that's enough reminder just to help them maintain courtesy despite being tired.
It's another courtesy matter: If they aren't able to be nicer to people
because they're not sleeping enough or eating enough protein or drinking enough
water (dehydration's a constant consideration here, kids go play at the park
with a gallon of water), then THEY are not doing what they need to do to live
civilly and peacefully with other people.
We help them out, but we don't MAKE them sleep or eat. We do say "sunscreen
and water!" quite a bit.
Sandra
Olga
Mary,
I am just giggling away over here. No wonder you guys don't get out
before 12 noon!! LOL!! Thanks for the detailed insight. I see us
moving in that direction. We kind of let the kids do their thing
until 9:30 or 10:30 because after that it catches up with him later
in the week. I guess we have to find that balance. Sometimes, he
will even admit he is really tired but still refuses a nap and denies
lack of sleep! For a while, I did the "You can stay up later, but
then you have to take a nap tommorow." But, I really could not
follow through and he didn't need one each time. Okay, we are still
working over here :)
Olga :)
--- In [email protected], "Mary" <mummy124@b...>
wrote:
I am just giggling away over here. No wonder you guys don't get out
before 12 noon!! LOL!! Thanks for the detailed insight. I see us
moving in that direction. We kind of let the kids do their thing
until 9:30 or 10:30 because after that it catches up with him later
in the week. I guess we have to find that balance. Sometimes, he
will even admit he is really tired but still refuses a nap and denies
lack of sleep! For a while, I did the "You can stay up later, but
then you have to take a nap tommorow." But, I really could not
follow through and he didn't need one each time. Okay, we are still
working over here :)
Olga :)
--- In [email protected], "Mary" <mummy124@b...>
wrote:
>you.
>
> As far as bedtime goes, you have to do what feels comfortable for
> Joseph is the same way. He ignores all signs of being tired. I'veseen him
> sit at the table just yawning away with his eyes half closed andstill
> drawing. He will stay up until 2 a.m. no problem. I don't have aproblem
> with that but after about 2 days, everyone ends up suffering hisholler at
> consequences. He gets down right mean. He'll fight with Sierra and
> Alyssa and anytime we get together with other kids, he'll end upgetting
> very angry with them too. Not to mention getting upset with me andhis dad.
> He's just an all around grouch! When he goes to bed earlier, thisjust
> doesn't happen. So I explain this all to him very clearly. I pointout exact
> things that happened. I explain how I see him ignoring the signsthat he is
> tired. I'm sure if I left him alone for a maybe even a month, hewould
> regulate, but I'm not willing to do that right now. He will losefriends in
> the process and that bothers him too. Plus what happens here in thehouse.
>him to go
> So most night, when Sierra and Alyssa are tired, he knows I want
> to bed too after them. That's usually around 11-12. I also explainthat if
> he goes to bed early, he can wake up earlier and have his alonetime then.
> The girls need more sleep than he does. I've also explained howstaying up
> later and waking later doesn't really give him any more play time.I think
> he was seeing it as extra time at night. Now he understands itdoesn't work
> that way! A few nights a week, I will tell him he can stay uplater. I have
> found that on those nights, he is trying to understand when he'sgetting
> tired. He's been asking to go to bed around 1:00. This has allworked out
> well for his disposition, for us and for him. He understands and ifit's a
> night where I think he needs his sleep and he asks to stay up, Imake a deal
> and tell him if he gets some sleep tonight, he can stay uptomorrow. As long
> as he gets 2 good nights in a row, he's good to go. As he getsolder, I feel
> like he will get better at knowing what he needs. He knows now, hejust
> chooses to ignore it!!!!
>
>
>
> Mary B
Mary
From: "Olga" <britcontoo@...>
<<Mary,
I am just giggling away over here. No wonder you guys don't get out
before 12 noon!! LOL!! Thanks for the detailed insight>>
Glad I could provide some comic relief!!! You don't know how many times we
see field trips sheduled that may look promising and then see the time and
decide it's not worth it, we'll go ourselves at a more "decent" time!!!!!
Mary B
<<Mary,
I am just giggling away over here. No wonder you guys don't get out
before 12 noon!! LOL!! Thanks for the detailed insight>>
Glad I could provide some comic relief!!! You don't know how many times we
see field trips sheduled that may look promising and then see the time and
decide it's not worth it, we'll go ourselves at a more "decent" time!!!!!
Mary B
Shyrley
Mary wrote:
We ain't even awake at that time.
Shyrley
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> From: "Olga" <britcontoo@...>Same here. I rarely manage to get out of the house before 1pm but all the feild trips are usually about 10am!!!
>
> <<Mary,
> I am just giggling away over here. No wonder you guys don't get out
> before 12 noon!! LOL!! Thanks for the detailed insight>>
>
> Glad I could provide some comic relief!!! You don't know how many times we
> see field trips sheduled that may look promising and then see the time and
> decide it's not worth it, we'll go ourselves at a more "decent" time!!!!!
>
> Mary B
>
We ain't even awake at that time.
Shyrley
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Mary
From: "Shyrley" <shyrley.williams@...>
<<Same here. I rarely manage to get out of the house before 1pm but all the
feild trips are usually about 10am!!!
We ain't even awake at that time.>>
That's us too. Occasionally there will be a good field trip at a good price
that I wouldn't get going alone so we have to set the alarm and have
everything all planned the night before and get up and hussle. It's been
worth it as we really think about how much we want to go but man are we
tired that afternoon!!!!!
Mary B
<<Same here. I rarely manage to get out of the house before 1pm but all the
feild trips are usually about 10am!!!
We ain't even awake at that time.>>
That's us too. Occasionally there will be a good field trip at a good price
that I wouldn't get going alone so we have to set the alarm and have
everything all planned the night before and get up and hussle. It's been
worth it as we really think about how much we want to go but man are we
tired that afternoon!!!!!
Mary B