Kris

I'm posting this hoping that one of you has some information I can share with a friend on the issue of "handedness" in children.

My friend has her son enrolled in a Montessori school right now and they have been having some problem behavior issues with him. The head instructor was telling Lindsay that Kai didn't seem to have a hand preference, he even changes from one hand to another for most tasks. She says it may be causing him frustration and suggested that they begin encouraging him to use one hand or the other for each task.

Jonathan hasn't shown a hand preference yet either and seems adept at using both. I've never given it a thought and figured he would be double blessed to have full use of both. My first instinct is that this woman is full of "hooey" and that saying things like, "Maybe you can draw/paint/build with just one hand this time." is stupid.

I'm very interested to know what you wise ones might know on this subject.

Kris


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Mary

From: "Kris" <louisa@...>

<<My first instinct is that this woman is full of "hooey" and that saying
things like, "Maybe you can draw/paint/build with just one hand this time."
is stupid.>>


Sounds like hooey to me too. I'm wondering exactly what kind of frustration
this boy seems to be having. Could be that if the teacher is having a
problem with him not preferring one hand to another, he's sensing that and
that's where his frustration is coming from. Not being left to do what he
wants how he wants to! I don't see how making a child chose a hand is a good
thing. He'll find his way and do what works best.

Joseph used both at a young age and then definitely became a lefty. If there
was ever a time when something in particular frustrated him, we would ask if
maybe he wanted to try it the "other" way. So he was able to decide for
himself which way worked best. And sometimes, in sporting things, right
worked and sometimes it was left. Everyone except for one nephew is right
handed in both our families. If I just assumed Joseph would be a righty too,
that wouldn't have been any better than if I never let him try right handed
things because he was obviously a lefty.

Mary B

jmcseals SEALS

<<The head instructor was telling Lindsay that Kai didn't seem to have a
hand preference, he even changes from one hand to another for most tasks.
She says it may be causing him frustration and suggested that they begin
encouraging him to use one hand or the other for each task.>>

Sounds to me like a woman pulling at straws. She thinks he *may* be
frustrated? Yes, she sounds full of 'hooey'. Is there any basis for her
believing his ambidexterity is frustrating him? Sounds like it is
frustrating HER.

My Lauren is left handed. She has been since birth, although it appeared
that she was ambidexterous. She still uses both hands while writing. When
one hand gets tired, she switches. I've heard this is more common in left
handed people than in right. When my grandmother used to *encourage* her to
use her right hand, she would become frustrated and irritable. My guess is
that Kai's teacher is probably pushing the *wrong* hand and causing him
frustration, rather than he being frustrated by not having a *chosen*
handedness. Left to his own accord, he will choose the hand that works best
for him at the right time.

I'm not sure if this helps any, but if he were my child, I'd make it clear
that whatever hand he chooses is HIS choice. It is very damaging to
children who are left handed to be forced into being *right*. If he was a
solid right handed kid, I'm sure she would have other judgements as to the
reasons behind his frustrations. Unless he expresses frustration in his
handedness, how is she to know? This used to be a wide spread problem 'back
in the day'. I thought people were over that by now!

Jennifer

_________________________________________________________________
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Deborah Lewis

***My first instinct is that this woman is full of "hooey" and that
saying things like, "Maybe you can draw/paint/build with just one hand
this time." is stupid.***

My husband writes with his left had but always throws a baseball or
softball or darts with his right. He annoys coworkers by being able to
use both hands equally and at the same time when working on machinery.
It's kind of freaky, really.

Dylan didn't show a preference until he was seven or so and now he's
right handed.

I guess my question would be *which hand are they going to encourage and
how do they know it's right if the kid doesn't even know yet?* That
really seems silly to me. When he knows, he'll use that hand. ( or
those hands <g>)

Deb L

coyote's corner

Why can't he use whichever hand feels right??
Janis
----- Original Message -----
From: Mary
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, May 29, 2003 1:41 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] A question about "handedness"


From: "Kris" <louisa@...>

<<My first instinct is that this woman is full of "hooey" and that saying
things like, "Maybe you can draw/paint/build with just one hand this time."
is stupid.>>


Sounds like hooey to me too. I'm wondering exactly what kind of frustration
this boy seems to be having. Could be that if the teacher is having a
problem with him not preferring one hand to another, he's sensing that and
that's where his frustration is coming from. Not being left to do what he
wants how he wants to! I don't see how making a child chose a hand is a good
thing. He'll find his way and do what works best.

Joseph used both at a young age and then definitely became a lefty. If there
was ever a time when something in particular frustrated him, we would ask if
maybe he wanted to try it the "other" way. So he was able to decide for
himself which way worked best. And sometimes, in sporting things, right
worked and sometimes it was left. Everyone except for one nephew is right
handed in both our families. If I just assumed Joseph would be a righty too,
that wouldn't have been any better than if I never let him try right handed
things because he was obviously a lefty.

Mary B




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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Betjeman and Barton Tea Merchants

My dd Brogan (age 3 1/2) doesn't show a hand preference yet. When she's ready to 'pick' a hand she will.

Her gym 'instructor' mentioned some time ago that the longer they use both hands the better - something about developing both sides of the brain.

Karen
----- Original Message -----
From: Deborah Lewis
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, May 29, 2003 7:41 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] A question about "handedness"



***My first instinct is that this woman is full of "hooey" and that
saying things like, "Maybe you can draw/paint/build with just one hand
this time." is stupid.***

My husband writes with his left had but always throws a baseball or
softball or darts with his right. He annoys coworkers by being able to
use both hands equally and at the same time when working on machinery.
It's kind of freaky, really.

Dylan didn't show a preference until he was seven or so and now he's
right handed.

I guess my question would be *which hand are they going to encourage and
how do they know it's right if the kid doesn't even know yet?* That
really seems silly to me. When he knows, he'll use that hand. ( or
those hands <g>)

Deb L

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

JP is ambidextrous because he sucks his right thumb. He uses his right hand
unless he is sucking his thumb, then he just uses his left hand. When he
needs both hands, sometimes he does get frustrated because his instinct is to
have his thumb in his mouth. He is "weaning himself" from sucking his thumb
now because his thumb got very raw, cracked, peeling, sore. We put desitin on
it and he has not sucked it in 2 days. In a way, he is glad his thumb is
sore, because he has been wanting to stop sucking it, and this is a very natural
deterrent. Now, when it heals up, who knows, he may start sucking it again

Teresa


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Have A Nice Day!

Some kids are ambidextrous. My uncle was. I think they should let him alone until *he* chooses which hand he prefers.

Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: Kris
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, May 29, 2003 1:26 AM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] A question about "handedness"


I'm posting this hoping that one of you has some information I can share with a friend on the issue of "handedness" in children.

My friend has her son enrolled in a Montessori school right now and they have been having some problem behavior issues with him. The head instructor was telling Lindsay that Kai didn't seem to have a hand preference, he even changes from one hand to another for most tasks. She says it may be causing him frustration and suggested that they begin encouraging him to use one hand or the other for each task.

Jonathan hasn't shown a hand preference yet either and seems adept at using both. I've never given it a thought and figured he would be double blessed to have full use of both. My first instinct is that this woman is full of "hooey" and that saying things like, "Maybe you can draw/paint/build with just one hand this time." is stupid.

I'm very interested to know what you wise ones might know on this subject.

Kris


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Tia Leschke

>
> My husband writes with his left had but always throws a baseball or
> softball or darts with his right. He annoys coworkers by being able to
> use both hands equally and at the same time when working on machinery.
> It's kind of freaky, really.

Lars eats and writes left-handed, bats and throws right. I haven't noticed
how ambidextrous he is in other things. It hasn't been an issue, but I'm
guessing he can probably use either hand for many things. I've read that
these "mixed dominance" kids tend toward the very kind of learning style
that Lars has, mostly hands-on, not particularly interested in academics,
more interested in doing and making.
Tia

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety
deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin
leschke@...

Thyme For You

My kids didn't really show a preference until around 4 or 5. Now we have 3
right handers, one lefty, and my 2 yo still uses both. We didn't encourage
them with either hand, or show them the "correct" way to write. It just
happens naturally.

Karena

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/29/2003 1:37:46 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
louisa@... writes:
> My first instinct is that this woman is full of "hooey" and that saying
> things like, "Maybe you can draw/paint/build with just one hand this time." is
> stupid.
>

Hooey. Hooey! PTOOEY!!!

~Kelly


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/29/03 10:44:56 AM, litlrooh@... writes:

<< Some kids are ambidextrous. My uncle was. I think they should let him
alone until *he* chooses which hand he prefers. >>

Marty's that way. He picks something up with a near hand and might or might
not switch.

He writes left-handed and played hockey right-handed.

Keith, his dad/my husband, is more left-handed. He does SCA combat,
lefthanded. But one year he was bored and decided to spend the winter fighting
right-handed. That happens when they lose use of an arm during a tournament anyway,
and so it's worth practicing.

Months passed, of every-week fighter practice. Guys joined. Spring came
and there was a real tournament, and Keith fought left handed. Those who'd
known him a long time were not surprised. Those who'd met him that year were
stunned. He was good enough to be scary with the "wrong" hand. I remember one
guys standing up really straight like a meercat and saying "Why is he fighting
left handed?"

Someone said, "Because he IS left handed."

He didn't mean to be devious, he just had a project going. <g>

Marty says
left:
boffers (swordish play)
shooting games (remote control, left)
paintball he can't remember which hand (Thought, and says "oh yeah, it was
lefthanded")
eats

right:
throws a ball
plays hockey
drinks right-handed


Cup in right hand, spoon in left, he can eat faster.

Sandra

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/28/03 11:43:40 PM, mummy124@... writes:

<< Could be that if the teacher is having a

problem with him not preferring one hand to another, he's sensing that and

that's where his frustration is coming from. Not being left to do what he

wants how he wants to! >>

She probably has a box to check on an evaluation form, or is trying to figure
out where to seat him at a table, or in a left-handed desk or right.

I've been with a lefty and had a lefty kid for years and years, and I still
forget about restaurant seating (not to get into a booth next to a lefty's
left elbow) and I set the table for righties always, and I hand things toward
their right hands and they reach out with their left. Spatial is NOT my skill.
Keith says don't worry, he's so used to righties he compensates without
really thinking about it.

I feel a little guilty not being more hospitable and aware, but there it is.

Sandra

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/29/2003 2:05:07 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:

> Marty says
> left:
> boffers (swordish play)
> shooting games (remote control, left)
> paintball he can't remember which hand (Thought, and says "oh yeah, it was
> lefthanded")
> eats
>

I am so glad to hear this, I thought my two girls were the only ones who bat
left handed and then throw right handed. When they were little and first
playing T-Ball we had to look extra hard to find tiny gloves for lefties (they
both wrote left handed, ate left handed) then we noticed they would catch the
ball in their glove, throw off the glove and throw the ball with the same hand.
Of course at first it was fine for T-Ball. As they grew older and competition
increased it was too time consuming and just ODD.

So luckily we figured out with the oldest, bats left throws right, get her a
regular right handed glove.

I can say that I've had more than one teacher conference when they were
little about this, telling me that it was "best" for them if I made them choose one
or the other. I didn't, they chose on their own and are happy with doing
something's left handed and some things right handed.

They don't switch off and use each hand equally or interchangeably so that
isn't truly ambidextrous is it?

My boys are right handed, never using the left or even tried.

Myself and Dh are both right handers.

glena


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

The Dyers

I thought my two girls were the only ones who bat left handed and then throw right handed. ****

My son does as well, if that helps.

Patty

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

This child is about 4 or so? At that age, Patrick still routinely ate with
both hands - if I gave him a spoon and a fork he'd have one in each hand
alternating bites. :) He didn't completely settle on his left for eating till about
six or seven, I think. He seemed quite happy switching around so we just let
him be, we'd even set the table with his utensils above his plate in the middle,
not wanting to bias the process. :) He just turned 11. He eats left, writes
left, mouses right, bats and throws and golfs right. I wonder if he's a lefty
or righty at Lego?

On the other hand - he also used to switch hands for writing and drawing, but
at 6 or so he was getting pretty frustrated with his skills so we did
encourage him to play around with implements to see if he could figure out if one
hand or the other seemed more comfortable and easier, and then to practice with
that hand. He settled on the left pretty quickly after that.

On the third hand <g> I can't believe in handedness frustration causing
behaviour issues in unrelated areas. And if the teacher is saying it "may" be
causing him frustration she's blowing smoke, she's uncomfortable watching him
switch back and forth. If HE were frustrated nobody would have to guess about it.

Deborah in IL

Fetteroll

on 5/29/03 2:19 PM, rubyprincesstsg@... at rubyprincesstsg@...
wrote:

> then we noticed they would catch the
> ball in their glove, throw off the glove and throw the ball with the same
> hand.
> Of course at first it was fine for T-Ball. As they grew older and competition
> increased it was too time consuming and just ODD.

Jim Abbott (as well as other one-handed ball players) could do it without
awkwardness :-)

Seems to me he put the glove on his stump as he pitched, then slipped his
hand into the glove to be ready for the ball to be batted (or thrown) back.
He'd catch the ball, tuck the glove under his arm as he pulled the ball out
and threw it.

(Obviously a different situation, but reminded me of it.)

Joyce

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/29/2003 9:43:49 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
phdrwd@... writes:

> I thought my two girls were the only ones who bat left handed and then
> throw right handed. ****
>
> My son does as well, if that helps.
>
> Patty
>

I'm so glad to hear that, I told Cait about others doing that and she was
quite satisfied with herself and she said I TOLD that coach I was NOT weird!
Seems she always got strange comments and even got cut from a softball team
because she didn't do "one" or the "other", which was completely stupid. By the
time Cait came along Sarah had been doing it for years so it wasn't as "odd" as
everyone kept telling us.

I am glad to know that others do the same thing and are very comfortable with
it as are my girls.

glena


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

zenmomma2kids

>>"Why is he fighting left handed?"
>
> Someone said, "Because he IS left handed.">>

This reminds me of the fight scene on the cliff in The Princess
Bride. <g>

Life is good.
~Mary, back from an impromptu road trip with Casey

The Dyers

Nope, it's not odd -- if you listen to the paternal side of our family, that's a switch hitter in the making, and that's a good thang! :-)

Patty

*****I'm so glad to hear that, I told Cait about others doing that and she was
quite satisfied with herself and she said I TOLD that coach I was NOT weird!
Seems she always got strange comments and even got cut from a softball team
because she didn't do "one" or the "other", which was completely stupid. By the
time Cait came along Sarah had been doing it for years so it wasn't as "odd" as
everyone kept telling us.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Maggy

I'm mostly ambidextrous but there are certain things in which I have to use a particular hand. For example I write (much better) with my left hand and can only bowl with my right. My husband thinks it's so weird that I can use hand and/or power tools with either. For some reason I have always referred to myself as being left-handed. I have a (true) left-handed sister and everyone else in our large family is right-handed. I tried to learn to write with my right hand when I was about 8 after being teased in school (surprise) but decided it wasn't worth it.
Years ago someone mentioned to me that it was not a hereditary factor, might be fun to research.....
Maggy

-- Original Message -----
From: Have A Nice Day!
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, May 29, 2003 12:17 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] A question about "handedness"


Some kids are ambidextrous. My uncle was. I think they should let him alone until *he* chooses which hand he prefers.

Kristen


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/30/03 9:45:46 PM, isaacray@... writes:

<< Years ago someone mentioned to me that it was not a hereditary factor,
might be fun to research..... >>

Marty is like his dad in LOTS of ways, physical and emotional and all, and
they're both lefthanded.

Sandra