[email protected]

In a message dated 5/25/03 12:32:44 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
cen46624@... writes:

> My kids are 3 and 5, and I have NO safety rules regarding the oven or
> tomatoes/knives.
>
> They
> can't cut tomatoes with their knives, but they can cut cheese and a lot
> of other things.
>
>

I don't understand this. Why can't they cut tomatoes if there are NO safety
rules? It seems like a contradiction




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/25/2003 10:21:04 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
grlynbl@... writes:
> They can't cut tomatoes with their knives, but they can cut cheese and a
> lot
> > of other things.
>
> I don't understand this. Why can't they cut tomatoes if there are NO
> safety
> rules? It seems like a contradiction.

I think maybe the KNIFE isn't capable of cutting the tomatoes, not the child.

~Kelly


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/25/03 12:22:53 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
kbcdlovejo@... writes:

> I think maybe the KNIFE isn't capable of cutting the tomatoes, not the
> child.
>

Now that makes sense. But, with "no safety rules", why wouldn't/couldn't a
child use an appropiate knife to cut a tomato if they wanted to?

Teresa



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Tia Leschke

> >
> > I don't understand this. Why can't they cut tomatoes if there are NO
> > safety
> > rules? It seems like a contradiction.
>
> I think maybe the KNIFE isn't capable of cutting the tomatoes, not the
child.

Also, tomatoes are quite hard to cut. You have to have either a very sharp
knife or one with a serrated edge, and even then it's quite easy for the
knife to slip.
Tia

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary
saftety deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin
leschke@...

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/25/03 10:40:00 AM, grlynbl@... writes:

<< But, with "no safety rules", why wouldn't/couldn't a
child use an appropiate knife to cut a tomato if they wanted to? >>

Because they're three and don't like tomatoes?
Because they don't care to learn all the differences between knives, maybe.

Not all questions are worth taking to the molecular level.

Sandra

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/25/03 2:03:57 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:

> Not all questions are worth taking to the molecular level

It's not a molecular level question. The original poster made a clear
contradiction in her post. I posted the exact lines she said. Kelly offered an
explanation. But, for all practical purposes, what the original post said WAS a
contradiction.

NO safety rules means the kid can use any knife to cut anything they want.
Maybe the poster meant "with adult supervision" But, that is still a "rule"
, or a restriction. "you can use any knife you want ONLY when an adult can
help you" Is that not what most folks on this list would do? I think when
someone says "We have NO safety rules", it sounds like there is no regard for
the childs safety. I do not think that is the case at all.

Lots of words, phrases, perceptions, DO get examined at the molecular level
on this list. The truth is, unless one IS a totally non coercive parent,
they usually have 'safety rules" Do not go in the street, wear a helmet, wear
a seatbelt, don't eat poison, don't take candy from strangers. What is so
WRONG about saying "we have safety rules"?? Should they be called something
other than rules? Maybe, guidelines? precautions?

Teresa



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/25/03 5:42:59 PM Eastern Daylight Time, leschke@...
writes:

> Also, tomatoes are quite hard to cut. You have to have either a very sharp
> knife or one with a serrated edge, and even then it's quite easy for the
> knife to slip.
>

And that implies that the child is not allowed to use a sharp knife, Hence,
a safety rule. Correct?

Teresa


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/25/03 3:43:20 PM, leschke@... writes:

<< Also, tomatoes are quite hard to cut. You have to have either a very sharp

knife or one with a serrated edge, and even then it's quite easy for the

knife to slip. >>

My best super-hero power (maybe my only one) is cutting tomatoes. I can cut
bread, too, with a good bread knife (or a tomato <g>). I'm not so great at
cutting meat (like carving a turkey or whatever) but with a serrated knife I can
get more slices from a loaf of homemmade bread or a tomato than anyone else I
know.

Sandra

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/25/03 3:49:05 PM, grlynbl@... writes:

<< And that implies that the child is not allowed to use a sharp knife,
Hence,
a safety rule. Correct? >>

Not necessarily the implication.

We have no rules about guns here.

When they were little there were a couple of principles we considered and
discussed. Don't point toy guns at people who aren't playing, and don't play toy
guns when a family's over in which the mom doesn't like for her kids to play
with toy guns.

Now that my kids are bigger, we have no "rule" about guns. There's a rifle
here. The ammo isn't with it. It was inherited from our friend Marty Tufts
who died before our Marty was ever born.

The kids would no more mess with that gun than I would go and wear Kirby's
underwear on my head while I went down and sold Marty's Playstation systems at
the pawn shop without his permission.

When people are first unschooling they want to know all kinds of things. But
that doesn't mean that longterm unschoolers who are living by principles
instead of rules have all these stark choices: EITHER your kid has sliced
tomatoes, sliced fingers, or there must have been a rule against it. EITHER you
prevent something, or the thing is done.

Many things are NOT done even in the absence of prevention.

Our kids have been on the roof, for real purpose and for fun. I've never
told them not to jump off, yet they have never jumped off.

Speaking of families which have begun their mindful parenting early on:
In the absence of a bunch of rules, the space becomes flooded with a bunch of
thought and good judgment.

Someone who has a 13 year old boy who just came out of school last week will
NOT necessarily have, nor might never be able to reach, the same level of
understanding, and while that's unfortunate, it still doesn't mean that such
situations can't come about, gradually, consciously and without rules (in the way I
THINK "rules" is being used here).

Sandra

coyote's corner

Wow - that's so true.
Brianna kind of knows things....she applies common sense and logic to situations much more than her schooled friends do. Her schooled friends sort of plunge into many situations that Brianna just would just simply avoid.
Her schooled friends have little thinking skills. They need to be told what to do, how to do it......
An example - Candace is 12 y.o. She is not trusted with a key to her home or a cell phone. She loses them. She's lost at least four phones.
She has trouble believing that Brianna can do "anything" during the day - yet Brianna is so much more rounded.
Then there's Nicole. She's 11 y.o. She just wants to get married and have babies. She's in school until she "grows babies" She doesn't hang w/ Brianna any more. Brianna thinks she's silly and shallow.

These kids don't seem to be able to think, to figure - they're robots.
There are weapons around here. Brianna respects them.
She respects our stock. In stores, she doesn't pick up stock and leave it elsewhere.
It's common sense.
It's life.
It's unschooling.
Janis
----- Original Message -----
From: SandraDodd@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, May 25, 2003 6:11 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Safety rules..



In a message dated 5/25/03 3:49:05 PM, grlynbl@... writes:

<< And that implies that the child is not allowed to use a sharp knife,
Hence,
a safety rule. Correct? >>

Not necessarily the implication.

We have no rules about guns here.

When they were little there were a couple of principles we considered and
discussed. Don't point toy guns at people who aren't playing, and don't play toy
guns when a family's over in which the mom doesn't like for her kids to play
with toy guns.

Now that my kids are bigger, we have no "rule" about guns. There's a rifle
here. The ammo isn't with it. It was inherited from our friend Marty Tufts
who died before our Marty was ever born.

The kids would no more mess with that gun than I would go and wear Kirby's
underwear on my head while I went down and sold Marty's Playstation systems at
the pawn shop without his permission.

When people are first unschooling they want to know all kinds of things. But
that doesn't mean that longterm unschoolers who are living by principles
instead of rules have all these stark choices: EITHER your kid has sliced
tomatoes, sliced fingers, or there must have been a rule against it. EITHER you
prevent something, or the thing is done.

Many things are NOT done even in the absence of prevention.

Our kids have been on the roof, for real purpose and for fun. I've never
told them not to jump off, yet they have never jumped off.

Speaking of families which have begun their mindful parenting early on:
In the absence of a bunch of rules, the space becomes flooded with a bunch of
thought and good judgment.

Someone who has a 13 year old boy who just came out of school last week will
NOT necessarily have, nor might never be able to reach, the same level of
understanding, and while that's unfortunate, it still doesn't mean that such
situations can't come about, gradually, consciously and without rules (in the way I
THINK "rules" is being used here).

Sandra

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~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Tia Leschke

> And that implies that the child is not allowed to use a sharp knife,
Hence,
> a safety rule. Correct?

Maybe children and parents together have decided the child isn't ready to
cut tomatoes. Or maybe it doesn't matter.
Tia

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary
saftety deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin
leschke@...

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/25/2003 5:57:33 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:
> I'm not so great at
> cutting meat (like carving a turkey or whatever) but with a serrated knife I
> can
> get more slices from a loaf of homemmade bread or a tomato than anyone else
> I
> know.
>

Then I expect to see you at the "Play With Your Food" funshop---let's SEE
what you can do! <G>

~Kelly


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Fetteroll

on 5/25/03 1:30 PM, Tia Leschke at leschke@... wrote:

> Also, tomatoes are quite hard to cut. You have to have either a very sharp
> knife or one with a serrated edge, and even then it's quite easy for the
> knife to slip.

Try sticking the tip in to make an incision. Then use that as a starting
point for slicing. Then the sharpness of the blade is less of an issue.

Joyce

liza sabater

On Sunday, May 25, 2003, at 18:11 America/New_York, SandraDodd@...
wrote:
> EITHER your kid has sliced tomatoes, sliced fingers, or there must
> have been a rule against it.  EITHER you prevent something, or the
> thing is done.

My cooking skills literally triple just out of knowing how to handle
knives. When I worked as a personal chef I became absolutely appalled
at what people called their cooking knives --that's why a chef always
carries her knives. I could understand why people were so frustrated
with cooking --they not only had not the right basics, in some cases
they just did not know how to take care of them nor handle them.

There are some truths about the kitchen:

---Always sharpen your knives before working, no matter what you are
going to cut.

---The acidity in vegetables such as peppers, tomatoes and zuccinni
dulls a knife in an instant. I stick to serrated knives especially
for tomatoes. A paring knife works also best with these veggies --I
keep my 10" chef knife for other jobs.

---Chef knives are OK for almost everything but once you cut chicken
with a sharpened boning knife, you'll never go back to anything else.

---You can never tell what is hot just by looking at it --especially if
you are moving fast. FLAG everything hot with a kitchen towel.

---Never cook naked :-) My little one is a nudist and the one time he
has to wear clothes indoors is when we are cooking and the stove is
involved. I'm actually thinking of getting them chef jackets (they'd
look adorable in them).




l i z a
=========================
www.culturekitchen.com

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Bill and Diane

grlynbl@... wrote:

>>My kids are 3 and 5, and I have NO safety rules regarding the oven or
>>tomatoes/knives.
>>
>>They
>>can't cut tomatoes with their knives, but they can cut cheese and a lot
>>of other things.
>>
>
>I don't understand this. Why can't they cut tomatoes if there are NO safety
>rules? It seems like a contradiction
>

The fact is that they *can't* cut tomatoes, not that I don't let them.
They don't want to use sharp knives. They've gotten cuts, they've seen
what sharp knives do, and they don't want to use them.

They do have knives they know and trust, and those don't cut tomatoes
(at least not whole--they can cut already-sliced tomato insides).

It's not a *rule* that they can't cut tomatoes, it's a fact that their
knives don't and they don't use paring-type knives.

Clear as mud?

:-) Diane

Bill and Diane

Sorry. I used "can't" on a practical, concrete level--their knives
physically don't do the job. I honestly didn't consider that the same
word is used in the sense of "forbidden."

In fact, if either kid wanted to cut tomatoes, I would help him/her do
it. The knives aren't kept at kid level, but neither are they
"forbidden." It's just not an issue. They know what knives are and what
they're for. They have a healthy respect for both knives and heat.

:-) Diane

>>Not all questions are worth taking to the molecular level
>>
>
>It's not a molecular level question. The original poster made a clear
>contradiction in her post. I posted the exact lines she said. Kelly offered an
>explanation. But, for all practical purposes, what the original post said WAS a
>contradiction.
>

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/25/03 4:27:16 PM, jana@... writes:

<< When they were little there were a couple of principles we considered and
discussed. Don't point toy guns at people who aren't playing, and don't
play toy
guns when a family's over in which the mom doesn't like for her kids to
play
with toy guns. >>

I haven't read the e-mail of the afternoon, but when I saw this again, it did
look like "rules."

The thing is, if someone had done one of those things, it wouldn't have been
considered "breaking a rule," but being inconsiderate.

Yes, any of them COULD have played guns with pacifist moms' kids, but we
discussed things before we went somewhere or had company. Kind of a briefing.
Not a "these are the rules," but "Okay, these guys are vegetarian and they don't
like to hear any bad language, okay?" or whatever.

And it was never "If you say a bad word you'll be in trouble with me," it was
"if you say bad words they might not like you as much after that."

It was advisement, not rules.

And as to jumping off the roof or not messing with the rifle, I haven't even
advised them.
We have all kinds of saws, from folding handsaws to table saws, but we've
never told them what they can't cut (for example), and they've never cut anything
weird.

Marty did stab a cardboard box with a practice arrow or a steak knife or
something (I don't remember anymore, but some fairly common object) repeatedly
once without considering what might be IN the box (it was old newsletters, I
think), but he was three. He had seen people use cardboard boxes for targets for
various things before.

Sandra

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/25/03 4:53:34 PM, kbcdlovejo@... writes:

<< Then I expect to see you at the "Play With Your Food" funshop---let's SEE
what you can do! <G> >>

Seeing as I'm flying, I can't bring my own knife.

We'll see.

Sandra

Kris

Having moved recently we still have a few stacks of boxes around the house.
As I look at them I see very few which do not have many "stab" marks in
them. The ones which have already gone to recycling looked like they could
be used as strainers.

Kris

----- Original Message -----
From: <SandraDodd@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Sunday, May 25, 2003 5:55 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Safety rules..


> Marty did stab a cardboard box with a practice arrow or a steak knife or
> something (I don't remember anymore, but some fairly common object)
repeatedly
> once without considering what might be IN the box (it was old newsletters,
I
> think), but he was three. He had seen people use cardboard boxes for
targets for
> various things before.
>
> Sandra

Mary

From: <SandraDodd@...>

>>"Okay, these guys are vegetarian and they don't like to hear any bad
language, okay?" or whatever.>>


No wonder we swear so much here, we eat meat!!!

Mary B

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/25/03 8:23:42 PM Eastern Daylight Time, cen46624@...
writes:

> The fact is that they *can't* cut tomatoes, not that I don't let them.
> They don't want to use sharp knives. They've gotten cuts, they've seen
> what sharp knives do, and they don't want to use them.
>

Yes, that is clear. . And much more clear than mud.. :-)

Thanks
Teresa


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/25/03 7:20:13 PM, mummy124@... writes:

<< >>"Okay, these guys are vegetarian and they don't like to hear any bad

language, okay?" or whatever.>>



No wonder we swear so much here, we eat meat!!! >>

We had various combinations of touchy friends when they were little. <g>

Some were meat eating non-weapons-wielding, some were Christian but drank,
some were teetotalling agnostics who didn't mind bad language...

Sandra

[email protected]

From: <SandraDodd@...>

>>"Okay, these guys are vegetarian and they don't like to hear any bad
language, okay?"  or whatever.>>


No wonder we swear so much here, we eat meat!!!

Mary B


That must be our reason also. My daughter said the F word yesterday, the
whole family just stooped dead in their tracks and looked at me. Ugh, it prob.
was me earlier in the day someone had nearly run my car off the road and I am
certain I said that.

Laura D


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 25/05/2003 15:53:28 Pacific Daylight Time,
kbcdlovejo@... writes:


>
> In a message dated 5/25/2003 5:57:33 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
> SandraDodd@... writes:
> > I'm not so great at
> > cutting meat (like carving a turkey or whatever) but with a serrated knife
> I
> > can
> > get more slices from a loaf of homemmade bread or a tomato than anyone
> else
> > I
> > know.
>

Sandra, you are my husband's dream woman, I cut horrible doorstops with the
bread, and he never misses an opportunity to tell me about it.
Nancy, never slices bread in BC


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/26/03 1:20:57 AM, LOWRIEK@... writes:

<<
Sandra, you are my husband's dream woman, I cut horrible doorstops with the
bread, and he never misses an opportunity to tell me about it. >>

It's really strange. I'm not the greatest with physical tricks and talents.
Friends of mine who are really good at one thing or another (tuning an
instrument, sword fighting, karate) have talked to me sometimes about how sometime
when they're in the flow they're transformed and the feel the motions in
another kind of dreamstate (and all this esoteric stuff). I like those
conversations, when people attempt to describe things that are beyond words.

The cutting is something I can nearly explain, but it's not a verbal thing at
all (duh, of course, but it's somewhere in the just-outside of me place.
(This sounds stupid, I know; sorry.)

I kind of split the difference between staying inside the tomato and slicing
out of it. There's a kind of tension but it's not so much in my hand or arm,
it's in my brain. I see the outside of the bread, and I see a slice that's
thicker than I would like, and I cut halfway between those two just as though
they were realities.

Same with bread, but for two things: It HAS to be cold. Warm bread is
better just gently and artfully pulled apart. "Broken." But when it's cold and
you want to make sandwiches, hold the bread so that the cut part is flat on a
cutting board or flat counter, so both sides have equal pressure on them. You
hold it against something flat, hold the knife parallel to the counter or
board, and cut it exactly halway between the surface and the too-fat-slice line.
Saw it gently, but don't push.

People describe to me how exactly they do physical things and I nod and I
wonder, "Does he REALLY think this makes any sense whatsoever?" So I've probably
just done the same thing to all but five people here.

It's something like sewing a long boring seam. Once you get a little bit of
it right, the trick then is not changing it as time passes. Halfway between
holding it tight and just letting it go.

Sandra

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/26/2003 3:30:26 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:


> Halfway between
> holding it tight and just letting it go.

Definition of ...Spinning!

~Kelly


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

coyote's corner

Thanks so much for these tips. I am goiung to use that boning knife today!

Janis
----- Original Message -----
From: liza sabater
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, May 25, 2003 7:47 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Safety rules..



On Sunday, May 25, 2003, at 18:11 America/New_York, SandraDodd@...
wrote:
> EITHER your kid has sliced tomatoes, sliced fingers, or there must
> have been a rule against it. EITHER you prevent something, or the
> thing is done.

My cooking skills literally triple just out of knowing how to handle
knives. When I worked as a personal chef I became absolutely appalled
at what people called their cooking knives --that's why a chef always
carries her knives. I could understand why people were so frustrated
with cooking --they not only had not the right basics, in some cases
they just did not know how to take care of them nor handle them.

There are some truths about the kitchen:

---Always sharpen your knives before working, no matter what you are
going to cut.

---The acidity in vegetables such as peppers, tomatoes and zuccinni
dulls a knife in an instant. I stick to serrated knives especially
for tomatoes. A paring knife works also best with these veggies --I
keep my 10" chef knife for other jobs.

---Chef knives are OK for almost everything but once you cut chicken
with a sharpened boning knife, you'll never go back to anything else.

---You can never tell what is hot just by looking at it --especially if
you are moving fast. FLAG everything hot with a kitchen towel.

---Never cook naked :-) My little one is a nudist and the one time he
has to wear clothes indoors is when we are cooking and the stove is
involved. I'm actually thinking of getting them chef jackets (they'd
look adorable in them).




l i z a
=========================
www.culturekitchen.com

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]


Yahoo! Groups Sponsor



~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~

If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).

To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

coyote's corner

Hi,
Just to be clear - I as in Janis as in "Jana" from coyotes corner - didn't write this. We don't have any guns here.
Janis
----- Original Message -----
From: SandraDodd@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, May 25, 2003 8:55 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Safety rules..



In a message dated 5/25/03 4:27:16 PM, jana@... writes:

<< When they were little there were a couple of principles we considered and
discussed. Don't point toy guns at people who aren't playing, and don't
play toy
guns when a family's over in which the mom doesn't like for her kids to
play
with toy guns. >>

I haven't read the e-mail of the afternoon, but when I saw this again, it did
look like "rules."

The thing is, if someone had done one of those things, it wouldn't have been
considered "breaking a rule," but being inconsiderate.

Yes, any of them COULD have played guns with pacifist moms' kids, but we
discussed things before we went somewhere or had company. Kind of a briefing.
Not a "these are the rules," but "Okay, these guys are vegetarian and they don't
like to hear any bad language, okay?" or whatever.

And it was never "If you say a bad word you'll be in trouble with me," it was
"if you say bad words they might not like you as much after that."

It was advisement, not rules.

And as to jumping off the roof or not messing with the rifle, I haven't even
advised them.
We have all kinds of saws, from folding handsaws to table saws, but we've
never told them what they can't cut (for example), and they've never cut anything
weird.

Marty did stab a cardboard box with a practice arrow or a steak knife or
something (I don't remember anymore, but some fairly common object) repeatedly
once without considering what might be IN the box (it was old newsletters, I
think), but he was three. He had seen people use cardboard boxes for targets for
various things before.

Sandra

Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT




~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~

If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).

To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
[email protected]

Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

listdiva@... writes:

<< ---Never cook naked :-) >>

Never fry bacon naked.
We found that out the hard way.

~Aimee

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/26/03 5:59:53 AM, jana@... writes:

<< Just to be clear - I as in Janis as in "Jana" from coyotes corner - didn't
write this. We don't have any guns here. >>

I'm really sorry. I try to note the automagical quote-citation and delete if
it's wrong, but I missed that one. Sorry, Janis.

Sandra
(who was quoting her own self, but not very efficiently, and lifted it from a
jana@... post)