[email protected]

In a message dated 5/22/2003 12:22:25 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
AimeeL73@... writes:

> I had a twinge of that lately, being the end of the year with graduations
> and
> such.  I got back to the idea of how absolutely ridiculous it is that we
> require and expect schools to  "teach them everything they *might* ever need
> to
> know" and then society blames the school for not making it happen, failing
> to
> understand that not only is that a useless expectation, but impossible as
> well

I've also seen the usual onslaught of graduation announcements turning up in
my mail lately and wondered if there is any kind of ceremony that unschoolers
participate in to acknowledge any certain milestones.  I know that it would
not be grade related or probably not even learning related but maybe a special
18th birthday that's extra big or special?

Maybe just the usual beach week that they all go to? (around here anyway)

I know the kids get lots of presents and lots of cash and encouraging words
and cards when they reach that "milestone" of high school graduation and if
your child had never been exposed to that, it's probably not a big deal at all. 
Those who've had other children in school or homeschooled and attended those
graduation ceremonies what would you do, if anything for the unschooled child
to celebrate THEM and their journey through life?

I realize it might just be buying into societies need to recognize and hold
their children out for the world to see how "great they are" but I also
recognize there is some tradition to this rite of passage as well.

I've never really even thought of it before now and was just wondering what
others thought.

glena


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/22/03 2:45:50 PM, rubyprincesstsg@... writes:

<< what would you do, if anything for the unschooled child

to celebrate THEM and their journey through life? >>

I used to think I would like to do a party for Kirby when he turned 18, but
it would seem to say "Now you can move out--git." If he's been learning and
living his whole life, and this is where he lives, he isn't through learning or
living, and he doesn't need to move out, so I think a ceremony would be
celebrating a change that isn't happening.

Sandra

Have A Nice Day!

There is a person who does a historic graduation ceremony in Gettysburg here. I'm thinking we might do that if the kids want to.

The parents give their own diplomas to their kids (if they want). And everyone is dressed in historical garb I think too.

It sounds original and unique, something that would be our style.

Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: SandraDodd@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, May 22, 2003 8:24 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re graduations



In a message dated 5/22/03 2:45:50 PM, rubyprincesstsg@... writes:

<< what would you do, if anything for the unschooled child

to celebrate THEM and their journey through life? >>

I used to think I would like to do a party for Kirby when he turned 18, but
it would seem to say "Now you can move out--git." If he's been learning and
living his whole life, and this is where he lives, he isn't through learning or
living, and he doesn't need to move out, so I think a ceremony would be
celebrating a change that isn't happening.

Sandra

Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT




~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~

If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).

To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
[email protected]

Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/22/2003 8:31:28 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
litlrooh@... writes:

> I used to think I would like to do a party for Kirby when he turned 18, but
>
> it would seem to say "Now you can move out--git." If he's been learning
> and
> living his whole life, and this is where he lives, he isn't through
> learning or
> living, and he doesn't need to move out, so I think a ceremony would be
> celebrating a change that isn't happening.
>
> Sandra
>

Could it be called something unique and possibly unrelated to anything that
would imply moving out?

My older girl had a HUGE sweet sixteen, practically like a wedding (and about
cost as much), the younger one is already making plans for hers (the boys had
parties too but not "formal" events, which was their choice).

It was really a celebration of life and for each year someone lit a candle
and said something special about her and what happened during that particular
year of her life that they recalled. So it was really nice.

But I'm wondering (and I of course have a while to wonder) what would be
appropriate for the unschooled child? A celebration of their years? A big party
with a beach theme just because? I know there are many options, I just
wondered if anyone had approached this situation in their lives or how they might be
planning to do so.

I definitely wouldn't want it to reflect anything seeming to mean it was time
to move out and on.

Thanks for your responses.

glena


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

zenmomma2kids

>>Those who've had other children in school or homeschooled and
attended those graduation ceremonies what would you do, if anything
for the unschooled child to celebrate THEM and their journey through
life?>>>

We had a rite of passage ceremony/celebration last year when Conor
turned 13. As he was entering his teen years, and puberty full force,
it felt like the right time. That's probably why so many cultures and
religions seem to mark this time in a person's life with something.
We researched ceremonies from many different cultures, past and
present, and incorporated the parts that seemed meaningful for Conor.

People brought him small "gifts" that represented something they had
learned at this point in their own lives. They shared their wisdom
with him and wished him well on this journey to manhood. It was
special and meaningful and gave him the real understanding that
people are there for him.

Life is good.
~Mary

Kelli Traaseth

----- Original Message -----
From: zenmomma2kids

**We had a rite of passage ceremony/celebration last year when Conor
turned 13. **

Cool Mary, I'm going to mark this, I think my ds, who is 10 right now, would get into that.

Kelli~


To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, May 23, 2003 7:30 AM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re: Re graduations



>>Those who've had other children in school or homeschooled and
attended those graduation ceremonies what would you do, if anything
for the unschooled child to celebrate THEM and their journey through
life?>>>

We had a rite of passage ceremony/celebration last year when Conor
turned 13. As he was entering his teen years, and puberty full force,
it felt like the right time. That's probably why so many cultures and
religions seem to mark this time in a person's life with something.
We researched ceremonies from many different cultures, past and
present, and incorporated the parts that seemed meaningful for Conor.

People brought him small "gifts" that represented something they had
learned at this point in their own lives. They shared their wisdom
with him and wished him well on this journey to manhood. It was
special and meaningful and gave him the real understanding that
people are there for him.

Life is good.
~Mary


Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
ADVERTISEMENT




~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~

If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).

To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
[email protected]

Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

nellebelle

A friend bought a fancy blank book, and asked people who knew her daughter
to write something in it. She presented the book to her daughter on her
13th birthday.

Mary Ellen

Mary

From: <rubyprincesstsg@...>

<<But I'm wondering (and I of course have a while to wonder) what would be
appropriate for the unschooled child? A celebration of their years? A big
party
with a beach theme just because? I know there are many options, I just
wondered if anyone had approached this situation in their lives or how they
might be
planning to do so.

I definitely wouldn't want it to reflect anything seeming to mean it was
time
to move out and on.>>


I don't see how celebrating when a child turns 18 really implies that they
are ready to just leave home. It would be a celebration of the young woman
or man. There are big differences in turning certain ages all along the way.
Like 10 is a bit more special, and 13, 16, 18 and 21. Then of course there's
30 and 40 which were big ones for me!!!! I'm planning on having a big BBQ
this summer for my 45th birthday. I've been telling everyone I'm turning 40.
Saying I'm having a big party because you only turn 40 once. To which Joe
replies, "and some people twice!!"

Mary B

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/23/2003 12:13:48 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
mummy124@... writes:

> I'm planning on having a big BBQ
> this summer for my 45th birthday. I've been telling everyone I'm turning 40.
> Saying I'm having a big party because you only turn 40 once. To which Joe
> replies, "and some people twice!!"
>
> Mary B
>

Mary, that's sounds like great fun! I'll have to remember that in a couple
years.

glena


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Have A Nice Day!

I think 13 is a good time, or 14 maybe. 16, 18, and 21 all have their own "rites of passage": driving, legal age, and drinking.

But there is nothing for 13 year olds. I wish I had thought of that. My son would like something like this. He will be 15 this fall but he just hit puberty full force in the past few months. Maybe I'll do it then.

I think there is a lot of wisdom in tribal societies when they do things at the 12-14 ages.

Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: Mary
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, May 23, 2003 12:05 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Re graduations


From: <rubyprincesstsg@...>

<<But I'm wondering (and I of course have a while to wonder) what would be
appropriate for the unschooled child? A celebration of their years? A big
party
with a beach theme just because? I know there are many options, I just
wondered if anyone had approached this situation in their lives or how they
might be
planning to do so.

I definitely wouldn't want it to reflect anything seeming to mean it was
time
to move out and on.>>


I don't see how celebrating when a child turns 18 really implies that they
are ready to just leave home. It would be a celebration of the young woman
or man. There are big differences in turning certain ages all along the way.
Like 10 is a bit more special, and 13, 16, 18 and 21. Then of course there's
30 and 40 which were big ones for me!!!! I'm planning on having a big BBQ
this summer for my 45th birthday. I've been telling everyone I'm turning 40.
Saying I'm having a big party because you only turn 40 once. To which Joe
replies, "and some people twice!!"

Mary B




Yahoo! Groups Sponsor



~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~

If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).

To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
[email protected]

Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 5/23/2003 12:50:34 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
litlrooh@... writes:
> I think 13 is a good time, or 14 maybe. 16, 18, and 21 all have their own
> "rites of passage": driving, legal age, and drinking.
>
> But there is nothing for 13 year olds. I wish I had thought of that. My
> son would like something like this. He will be 15 this fall but he just hit
> puberty full force in the past few months. Maybe I'll do it then.


Twelve is the last year of "childhood".

Thirteen is officially the beginning of "teenage-hood".

In SC you can drive at 15. At 16 you can drive at night.

Fourteen gets left out--except that here in SC in 1974 CHEWING TOBACCO was
legal at 14. Guess what my daddy gave me for my 14th birthday! <G>

~Kelly, who still has her very own legal can of "chaw" in a drawer somewhere!
<G>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

zenmomma@... writes:

<< We had a rite of passage ceremony/celebration last year when Conor
turned 13. As he was entering his teen years, and puberty full force,
it felt like the right time. That's probably why so many cultures and
religions seem to mark this time in a person's life with something.
We researched ceremonies from many different cultures, past and
present, and incorporated the parts that seemed meaningful for Conor.

People brought him small "gifts" that represented something they had
learned at this point in their own lives. They shared their wisdom
with him and wished him well on this journey to manhood. It was
special and meaningful and gave him the real understanding that
people are there for him.

Life is good.
~Mary >>

That sounds wonderful, it reinforces my idea to do this for my son. What
kind of cultures or religions did you research, if I could ask? The only one I
know of in passing is the Jewish Bar/Bat Mitzvah.

~Aimee

Tia Leschke

> I don't see how celebrating when a child turns 18 really implies that they
> are ready to just leave home. It would be a celebration of the young woman
> or man.

I have friends who threw a big party for each of their kids when they turned
18 or 19. Basically all the many people who knew them from their different
interests and activities came and kind of wished them on another step in the
path of life. They acknowledged that their parenting was mostly done and
that they felt that kid would do fine on their own when *they* were ready.
Not pushing or holding back. At least that was the impression I got from
the invitations. I wasn't able to go to either one.

There are big differences in turning certain ages all along the way.
> Like 10 is a bit more special, and 13, 16, 18 and 21. Then of course
there's
> 30 and 40 which were big ones for me!!!! I'm planning on having a big BBQ
> this summer for my 45th birthday. I've been telling everyone I'm turning
40.
> Saying I'm having a big party because you only turn 40 once. To which Joe
> replies, "and some people twice!!"

On my 45th birthday, my daughter called to wish me happy birthday. I forget
just why I said, "I guess I'm on my way somewhere." My daughter answered,
"You're halfway to 90." So I was halfway to 90 all that year. I loved it.
Tia

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary
saftety deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin
leschke@...

cheryl

Very nice idea about the dreamcatcher.
Cheryl N

> We did a short ceremony, just Julian, Beth, and me, when Julian reached
> puberty. We shared some of our wishes for him, ate cake, made him a
dreamcatcher
> together, and lit some candles. It wasn't too much, which would have
embarassed
> him.
>
> I had assumed I'd do something with a daughter, but hadn't thought about
> having a son. Then I realized it was silly, and we asked him what he
thought. The
> interesting thing is, that although he is close to his father and sees him
> every day, Julian did not want him to be involved--just his lesbian moms.
>
> Kathryn
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
> ~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
>
> If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email
the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner,
Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an
email to:
> [email protected]
>
> Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>