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In a message dated 5/14/2003 2:17:23 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
Laramike12@... writes:

> If it would have bothered her I would have thought of something else. Every
> >time she asked and I said, "well maybe tomorrow", she seemed perfectly
> >satisfied with that answer. Never once showed any frustration or being at
> >all bothered by it, just shrugged and decided to play something else.
>
> What you did just happened to work out. It may have worked out because of
> something in your daughter's voice or attitude or personality that made
> this
> response feel right. >>
>

I think maybe what I was trying to share wasn't so much the technique but the
"idea" that sometimes things that startle us as parents and we feel the need
to "figure out" or "deal with" in a very appropriate manner really aren't
that important to the child and are soon forgotten.

With my daughter apparently it was just a passing fleeting thought in her
mind about smoking. With some children it might not be and it would require
something different.

I guess there are lots of options from a resounding "NO" if asked if they can
smoke to "sure let's fire you one up now" and of course everything in between
but sometimes just acknowledging that moment in time and validating that they
asked and you heard and will consider at a later time is enough for them and
they go on with life.



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