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In a message dated 5/14/2003 1:57:18 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
jmcseals@... writes:

> When the house is a mess and life becomes
> overwhelming and I feel like throwing in the towel, a sweet little face
> appears and says, "Mommy, my love you" or "Can we read a story in the
> closet
> with a flashlight tonight?" I realize the messes can wait, a house will
> come along and soon, all will be right with my world.
>

Jennifer,

That was a beautiful post, thanks for sharing. You do look at the world
differently when you've had a child die, there's just no way around it.
Every second is precious, every cup of spilled juice is a reminder of the one
who's messes you long to clean up and will never be able to. EVERYTHING
becomes a joy as a mother and a shelter from a harsh world sometimes.

The sound of a baby crying yet again in the night when you are so exhausted
you cry for sleep brings a smile to your face because you CAN nurse that
precious child and comfort them.

Your words were beautiful, I feel them in my heart, thanks for sharing!

glena


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Tia Leschke

> When I lost my second daughter, Hillary was stillborn at 38 weeks, Haleigh
> was my saving grace. Having her to focus my energy and love into saved me
> from a deep and paralyzing depression. It scares me to think of where I
> would be now had it not been for having to come out of the darkness and
face
> my responsibilitites as a mother. Strange as it may sound, and as much as
I
> would give anything to have Hillary here with me now, her brief passing
> through my life has given me so much and taught me so many lessons that I
> think only losing a child can teach a person. I felt this same sentiment
in
> the recent posts on losing children.

Interesting. I lost my first. She was born 2 months early and then turned
out to have a major heart defect. She lived 7 1/2 months and died following
heart surgery. I didn't have another child to focus on. What I did do was
rush into a new marriage (the stress had finally kicked the previous one
over the edge) and pregnancy. While I always say that Heather was the best
mistake I ever made, it can't have been easy for her and her brother growing
up in and after that messed up marriage.

I felt the same way you do about the things I learned and gained from having
Ariana for that short time.
Tia

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary
saftety deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin
leschke@...