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In a message dated 5/14/03 6:31:42 AM, tktraas@... writes:

<<

The poor kids come to me and say they want to stay at our house. >>

Here's where what we're doing is even more insidious than the educational
aspect. We have free kids and we haven't had to decency to move them away
from mainstream society where their freedom won't be an attractive nuisance.

"Attractive nuisance" is a legal term for dangerous things like swimming
pools and big trampolines that people might have in their yards. And you
have a legal obligation to lock them up so others can't get to them, if you
don't want the legal responsibility for the damage done by people coming into
your yard against your will and being injured.

Laws develop gradually in any case-law situation, and this one crawled up
here.

So I think being an unschooling family in a "normal" neighborhood might be
considered "an attractive nuisance," socially. We have something
mesmerizing and the neighbor kids want it. And they play in it, and they go
back home with a profound disappointment they never would have had if our
families had been as dour and controlling as theirs.

They might never be happy at home and in school again.

Did we MEAN to do this? I'm not sure it's kind or good.
I think it's necessary for social change to occur, but there is so much
associated discomfort in the meantime, it honestly makes me sad to think
about its effects on innocent others.

Sandra

Kelli Traaseth

Wow, never heard of "attractive nuisance", I guess that's probably
what we are to them then.

I do try and keep my own personal space with the Mom and Dad
though, it is just better that way. We have some real differences
on lots of sujects and I think it would totally make living so close
unbearable.

They've already inflicted their rules on my home when their kids are
here. I really don't know what to think of that. At some point
I'm going to have to talk with my kids more about this.

If I allow their kids to play video games or watch TV when they're
here, they may not allow them to come over anymore. I know my
daughter would really be sad about that.

Its a very hard situation.

Kelli

averyschmidt

> Wow, never heard of "attractive nuisance", I guess that's
probably
> what we are to them then.

We've had skateboard ramps in our driveway for several years, so I'm
totally aware of the "attractive nuisance" thing!

> If I allow their kids to play video games or watch TV when they're
> here, they may not allow them to come over anymore. I know my
> daughter would really be sad about that.

We've lost some friends over my children's freedom. People don't
always want their kids to know how good their lives could possibly
be. It *is* sad.

Patti