Heidi Wordhouse-Dykema

>A question, then. How do you guys actually practice getting yourselves out
>of the way and allowing your child to blossom into his/her own natural
>potential?

I get stuff going that interests ME and I don't ask my kids to be a part of
it (although they're turning into great 'enablers' and can join in if they
like! As an example of their 'enabling', they recently found rides home
from a local spring fair so that I wouldn't have to leave early and could
continue shearing my sheep. They saw I was in the middle of 'intensely
interesting' stuff and let me continue on. I do the same for them.

I think it's when the parent gets so intensely interested in the child,
especially when they think of their children as a 'product' they're
putting out (which harkens over to the whole stupid award thing - an Award
for a Great Product!), that things get botched up. Once folks realize that
there is no 'product', they can usually let go of 'quality control' and let
the kid be whomever they want to be.

Think of unschooling as non-industrial art.
HeidiWD


"You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.” —Jeannette Rankin

[email protected]

In a message dated 05/08/2003 11:07:27 AM Central Daylight Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:


> Some of those poor kids who got awards are just moving in to the phase where
>
> they will be pressured to do more of the same, get college awards, become
> professional basketball players (or whatever), coach winning teams. What?
>
> You didn't? You failure. You wasted your potential.
>
>

Boy, did this strike a resonant chord within me. I still struggle with the
sense that I've wasted my own potential. I'm hearing that from several
others here, too. I'm 42 years old, and what do I have to show for my life?
I don't go to HS reunions because I can't handle the scrutiny. I know so
much more was expected of me. And so I find myself wanting so much more for
my children in this way -- at weak moments like this. It's rather
compulsive, I realize.

The thing I like about unschooling is that there are no definitions (and
therefore no limitations) placed on the concept of *potential.* It's
completely up to the individual child, and a wise parent learns to back off
and let that flowering happen unimpeded.

What an enormous improvement over the pressures that a standard education
normally exerts!

A question, then. How do you guys actually practice getting yourselves out
of the way and allowing your child to blossom into his/her own natural
potential?

Laura B.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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In a message dated 5/8/03 2:08:03 PM, LauraBourdo@... writes:

<< A question, then. How do you guys actually practice getting yourselves
out
of the way and allowing your child to blossom into his/her own natural
potential? >>

How do we practice it or how do we DO it?

(Or do you mean "practice" in the spiritual sense of the word?")

Sandra

[email protected]

In a message dated 05/08/2003 3:41:03 PM Central Daylight Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:


> << A question, then. How do you guys actually practice getting yourselves
> out
> of the way and allowing your child to blossom into his/her own natural
> potential? >>
>
> How do we practice it or how do we DO it?
>
> (Or do you mean "practice" in the spiritual sense of the word?")
>
> Sandra
>
>

<g>

The latter.

Laura B.


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jmcseals SEALS

<<<A question, then. How do you guys actually practice getting yourselves
out
of the way and allowing your child to blossom into his/her own natural
potential?>>>

I get myself out of the way <g> by practicing my OWN potential! I read, I
write, I bake and sew. I'm working on a website I've only really dreamed
about until I was asked to share my unschooling experiences with others. I
keep an irritating friend on board who's daughter goes to ps and is treated
like a worm. I just spoke with her tonight. She was ranting on and on
about how her daughter is failing English and never turns in her work. How
she's grounded until the end of the year (!?!?!?! grrrr) because her grades
are horrible. Yes, what a terrible reason to hang on to an old friend but
she keeps asking for my advice and I keep hoping she'll take it! Yet, she
goes on to tell me they have a club at school called LOTR (Lord of the
RIngs). They speak their own language. Write intricate roll playing scenes
and characters. Ona and on. I'm sorry but this doens't sound like a dumb
kid! I could go on but I won't. <bg>

I think the bottom line is to live out YOUR dreams! Fulfill YOUR potential!
When you are busy with your own life, you'll quit worrying so much about
hers and one day, you'll walk in the room and be greeted by a child
exploding with fulfilled dreams and realized potential of her own! I
believe that!

Jennifer

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

jmcseals SEALS

<<I'm 42 years old, and what do I have to show for my life?>>

Ok, now this really makes me MAD! <bwg> What do you have to show??? Where
are your kids? I'm sure you didn't walk into an unschooling classroom
somehwere, take a test and only then decide that you could do it. I bet
there was a LOT of research, headaches, doubts, fear, you name it! You
faced them all and took the plunge. You are a mother. You are influencing
the lives of hundreds, if not more, by changing the lives of a few (um,
sorry, not sure how many kids you have...lol). Every person that witnesses
the beauty in your children is directly affected by you! If it weren't for
YOU those kids wouldn't be here!

So, grab an armload of pictures and a mountain of pride and show up at that
next reunion! Slap an unschooling sticker on your bumper and dare anyone to
ask you about it! It would be so easy to toss the kids into daycare and ps,
work a posh job and see them for two hours a night. I haven't met a woman
yet that thought working was harder than being a stay at home mother. (In
terms of workload.) But you take it a step further, you are taking full
responsibility for your family. Your are enriching their liives by allowing
them to follow their dreams. I'd say you've done a lot and should be DAMN
PROUD of it!

Jennifer, ok sermon over :)

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sablehs

--- In [email protected], "jmcseals SEALS"
<jmcseals@m...> wrote:
I
> keep an irritating friend on board who's daughter goes to ps and is
treated
> like a worm. I just spoke with her tonight. She was ranting on
and on
> about how her daughter is failing English and never turns in her
work. How
> she's grounded until the end of the year (!?!?!?! grrrr) because
her grades
> are horrible.

I know the feeling. One of the reasons {I think} we have so much
frustration with my MIL is because my BIL wife has children from a
previous marriage {they have a young child together, slightly younger
our youngest} and the two that are old enough go to PS. The boy
{middle child} was in Kira's {my oldest} Kindergarten class. {only
for the couple of months she was in public school} So when my sil
goes and gushes to her about what he is learning and what they do in
class, there is that reminder of what Kira "should" be doing. OH
YEAH, my SIL is now a substitute teacher. {so I have my mother,
sister, husband's grandmother and now my SIL who do, or have, like in
the case of the grandmother, working in the PS system. hip hip hurray
for me - LOL }

My sil's oldest {13 I think} has just started the rebellious era of
her life, I believe. She is having a horrible time and doesn't have
many friends, her grades are dropping {she was a AB student}...

MIL and my husband and I were talking and she was talking how
lazy "A" is, and about all this {obviously what the mom had said}. I
said "WOW, Jon {my hubbie} that sounds like you. {because in school
he Intentionally did bad in math, just so he could get the easy
classes and slide through}Then she started talking how Jon could have
used all those upper math classes in life. We reminded her, he DOES
{he makes custom countertops and cabinets} and how books don't teach
anything like life experience. And that life is always is the best
teacher.
So she didn't say much after that, about her because she "got" that
her actions weren't a disappointment to us, because we could
understand where the kid was coming from. All too well. We both hated
school and had dropped out. {I graduated BEFORE my class with my GED-
LOL} He was the loner and I was like I can imagine her to be, tall,
skinny awkward kid getting picked on a lot. Pretending to fit in but
not doing a very good job of it.

LOTS of baggage to unload.
Tracy

jmcseals SEALS

ROFL!!!

You know, I was actually thinking that when I wrote it. I really meant the
CAR bumper but her rear might get a lot more recognition! What a hoot!

Jennifer

>[So, grab an armload of pictures and a mountain of pride and show up at
>that next reunion! Slap an unschooling sticker on your bumper and dare
>anyone to ask you about it!]
>

The first time I read that I thought that you were telling her to slap a
sticker on HER rear and dare people to ask about it. LOL Too funny --
yet not a bad idea! ;)

TreeGoddess

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Betsy

**We reminded her, he DOES
{he makes custom countertops and cabinets}**

If only homeschoolers had more money, we'd be a terrific side market.
Pretty much every homeschooling mom I know dreams of having some nice
carpenter come to her house and create built-in, floor-to-ceiling
bookcases. (I want mine with that ladder that slides along the front. <g>)

Betsy

jmcseals SEALS

<<I want mine with that ladder that slides along the front. <g>>>

Me too, me too! We looking for a new house right now. One of the houses
has 18' ceilings in the formal living room. I told my husband he'd better
start planning my library! Can you imagine?!?! Walking in the front door,
surrounded by rich wooden bookcases, soaring 10 feet above your head?? I'd
be like a kid, jumping on that ladder, one hand and foot hanging on for dear
life, and the others swaying wildly while I race around the room. Now
THAT'S a merry-go-round for Mom!

One problem. We'd have to take out a second loan just to fill the shelves!
<g>

Jennifer, imagining the library on Beauty and the Beast coming to
life.......Where's Aimee?? Wheeeeeee! LOL

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In a message dated 05/08/2003 10:59:25 PM Central Daylight Time,
treegoddess@... writes:


> jmcseals SEALS wrote:
>
> >[So, grab an armload of pictures and a mountain of pride and show up at
> that
> >next reunion! Slap an unschooling sticker on your bumper and dare anyone
> to
> >ask you about it!]
> >
>
> The first time I read that I thought that you were telling her to slap a
> sticker on HER rear and dare people to ask about it. LOL Too funny --
> yet not a bad idea! ;)
>
> TreeGoddess
>
>
>

Well, if I did, they certainly wouldn't have a hard time FINDING it!!

Laura B. <who has one heckuva goood-sized rear bumper>


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Pamela Sorooshian

I'm way behind on this list - but had to laugh a little at this
question --- the best answer I could think of was to stay on this list
- 300 emails to go.... and you all are posting faster than i can read!!!

-pam


On Thursday, May 8, 2003, at 01:06 PM, LauraBourdo@... wrote:

> A question, then. How do you guys actually practice getting
> yourselves out
> of the way and allowing your child to blossom into his/her own natural
> potential?