Alan & Brenda Leonard

> So, somebody -- please slap some sense back into me. I need to regain my
> perspective. The tentacles of a twisted world are wrapping themselves around
> me and I'm having a hard time breathing...

Your daughter sounds GREAT. Here's your perspective: someday those other
parents may look at their child why they don't have a great relationship
with him or her.

My mother still has all my old music awards around. I was pretty good, and
there are a lot of them. I had great report cards, and she always proud of
them. Not of me, no. She was proud of the accomplishments and her part in
making them happen.

I'm 34 years old now, and I've been home maybe ten times in the last 17
years. My mom has seen my son four times in his six years of life, I think.
I try to go visit them, sometimes, but it's stressful. I've stopped winning
awards and have devoted my days to unschooling my son (and myself!), to
teaching music so kids enjoy it, and to the little bit of foster care work I
do for the army. She's not proud of me anymore.

Cherish the wonderful person your daughter is, and be proud that you have
HER, not the stuff.

brenda

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In a message dated 5/8/2003 7:16:24 AM Eastern Standard Time,
abtleo@... writes:


> > So, somebody -- please slap some sense back into me. I need to regain my
> > perspective. The tentacles of a twisted world are wrapping themselves
> around
> > me and I'm having a hard time breathing...
>
> Your daughter sounds GREAT. Here's your perspective: someday those other
> parents may look at their child why they don't have a great relationship
> with him or her.
>

Something else to take a little comfort in...it seems to me that the kids who
got all the glory in high school are the ones that have the furthest to fall
when they step out into the real world. They were on top of the world, top
of the pecking order in high school, but when they become a regular schmuck
in the work place/college, things will be hard to deal with. For "regular"
kids there's no place but up! They are no longer someplace in the
middle...the whole world is open.

My life in high school sounds so much like your daughters. Middle of the
road, average grades. I started college but quit to get married and have
babies ...but I'm happy, we live on a farm, my kids are great. Best part is,
because I was never "on top of the world" in high school, I have a deep
empathy for others, cannot tollerate injustice and unkindness, and the
underdog is always my hero. :o)

Go rent "Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion" and watch it with your
daughter. I know, kinda corny, but my girls and I love it.

Nancy


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In a message dated 05/08/2003 6:16:22 AM Central Daylight Time,
abtleo@... writes:


>
> Your daughter sounds GREAT. Here's your perspective: someday those other
> parents may look at their child why they don't have a great relationship
> with him or her.
>
>

Well, brenda, you have hit on one real truth here, and that's very
comforting. I DO have a tremendously close relationship with my dd, and I
can't see that changing. I respect her so much for the marvelous person she
is. One thing I know I've done right is exemplified by the fact that all of
this baggage is apparently my own, alone. She doesn't seem to be bothered by
this stuff at all (was, in fact, the first on her feet to applaud the girl I
was the most jealous of last night.)

Laura B.


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