[email protected]

In a message dated 2/24/2000 10:59:50 AM, [email protected]
writes:

<<Anyhow, yes I bet it's really tough when they don't agree with what you're
doing, but that's part of what I find difficult to understand with my mum.
Is it part of a grandparent's job description to make the parents' life more
difficult?>>

Can you tell her directly : "look, this really makes my life difficult" and
tell her what your minimal standards of behavior are for your kid?

My mom has good motives, and I know she would try to listen. Other grandmas
are less open-minded and reasonable, I know.

When contact with grandma is really frequent, there's a much stronger need
for you to control (or influence) the behaviors you think are undesireable.
I do limit my visits with relatives who have a negative influence on my
family.

Betsy

Tracy Oldfield

Thanks, Betsy, but I'm not sure. I was taling with a friend about this yesterday (it really got under my skin and I've been ranting to anyone who'll listen (including this captive audience :-) ) and she said that she turns into a teenager when she goes to her mother's and I suppose it's a bit the same, that I sit back because she's my mum. I have an awful feeling that if I said anything it would turn into a slanging match (like the merits of taking dietary advice from someone who's a size 32 (different in the US, but you get the idea...) and she spends enought time with us to know what behaviour I expect, I don't think she can believe that someone raised the way I was can think that there is a minimum standard of behaviour. But anyway...

Yes I suppose I need to try, it's hard going up against your own though, don't you think? Especially when one doesn't think they'll listen :-)

Thanks again, Betsy, it's something to think about

Tracy




From: ecsamhill@...


In a message dated 2/24/2000 10:59:50 AM, [email protected]
writes:

<<Anyhow, yes I bet it's really tough when they don't agree with what you're
doing, but that's part of what I find difficult to understand with my mum.
Is it part of a grandparent's job description to make the parents' life more
difficult?>>

Can you tell her directly : "look, this really makes my life difficult" and
tell her what your minimal standards of behavior are for your kid?

My mom has good motives, and I know she would try to listen. Other grandmas
are less open-minded and reasonable, I know.

When contact with grandma is really frequent, there's a much stronger need
for you to control (or influence) the behaviors you think are undesireable.
I do limit my visits with relatives who have a negative influence on my
family.

Betsy