[email protected]

In a message dated 5/2/2003 4:19:18 PM Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:

> On this same issue of praise I just had an experience that I would like some
> ideas on. As I touched on briefly our church Sunday school is doing this
> reward thing - and the "RULES" are explicit. That is a whole subject in
> itself - what I had a question about was this:
>
> I taught the kids class the last two evenings while adults had a special
> seminar. One child asked towards the cleanup time if he could do anything
> to help. I was pleasantly surprised and said "sure". He proceeded to sweep
> all under where we were working ( we made salt dough maps).
>
> The following night the boys were fighting over who was going to do this.
> and then I overhear why ... apparently they are given "coins" by the Sunday
> School teacher when they do helpful things, etc. These coins can then be
> turned into prizes like matchbox cars, trinkets and such.
>
> For my kids personally I really would like them to do helpful things for
> the intrinsic value of being helpful, kind etc. NOT because they will get a
> reward. However in real life - it does seem to work this way. If you do a
> good job you get a raise. ( or in my husbands case - get to keep your
> job;-)
>
> So these same boys who would not normally have offered to help, much less
> done a decent clean-up job - now are more than willing to pitch in when
> given a reward.
>
> I can't completely explain why - but I don't like this system. The other
> parents are fine with it - or don't want to rock the boat. Some of them
> even go so far as to say they will "call the Sunday School teacher if the
> child is "bad" - and then a "coin" will be taken away. The Sunday School
> teacher seems to feel that the kids don't have a problem with it - but I
> do. Which I do. I feel as if teaching children in this way - gives them the
> belief system that "one good deed gets a reward" What if there is no
> reward?
>
> I think we all are motivated by "rewards" of one type or another. It may
> not be monetary - but emotional. So even if I just say to the child "Thanks
> for doing such a great job sweeping up. It really helped me out!" I have
> "rewarded" him in a sense.
>
> I do have one child in this class - and luckily he is either too small to
> care - or in my opinion is not developmentally ready for most of the coin
> behavior. (i.e. Sitting in the seat throughout the whole meeting; no
> disobeying parents or adults; no running or rough playing; - and others
> which I can't remember) We always have to go to the bathroom - even if
> we've gone before. It's virtually impossible to sit in a straight backed
> chair the whole time, there is always something that is seen as disobeying
> - and in his exuberance - sometimes forgets not to run and hop in the
> building. At times he does feel excited that he has a "coin". And after I
> had it out with the teacher that the one coin that he had was taken away
> because he "saw him disobey me" the coins are no longer taken away once
> received. And my son seems to really enjoy this class. Chase doesn't have
> a problem with it - its me who feels it is a bit over the top. So is it
> wrong to interfere? ( Chase is 5)
>
> What do you all think? In one sense the reward system appears to be
> working.... but is it right to instill stewardship within a person based
> upon what reward they will receive?
>

Geeze Louise...this really sucks. Nice messages to give in church! I guess
you have to figure out what you want to teach to determine whether it's
working or not. It might not be a bad idea to ask what the intent is. I
suspect you'll hear that it's to make the kids "behave" while their parents
are busy in their meeting. The hard question to ask is whether the method is
in alignment with the spiritual purpose of the church. It'd be interesting to
see how the parents and teacher respond.

Kathryn


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