[email protected]

In a message dated 5/2/2003 9:29:43 AM Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:

> I guess that this feeling comes from years of doing what was expected
> of me (external motivation). Now I am free to do what I want and I am
> lost (no internal motivation). I am hoping that I just need to
> deschool myself longer (20 years equals almost 2 years so...do you
> deschool work years too??)<g> I need to find out who I am and what I
> want to do along side my children. (14.10,7) I tend to gravitate to
> somewhat schooly things (reading, naming, lists, attempts at
> organizing). I was drawn to WTM because I thought it would be neat to
> trek in an orderly fashion through time and do lots of history and lit
> stuff that I missed in school. We have dumped any such plan
> (regardless of how relaxed our version was). The kids certainly have a
> better idea of what they want to do. Maybe I should just do it for me?
> But this seems too schooly? I don't feel like I have an artsy,
> spontaneous bone in my body. Has anyone struggled with this and can
> recommend some reading/activities that may have helped you
> reawaken/rediscover your passions? Very sad that I am still looking
> for someone to "tell me what to do" Yikes!!!
> Beth in MD
> PS I have been enjoying lots of the unschool movies and book favorites
> that Sandra and others recommend.
>

Beth, it's probably not that bad. So breathe :)

I'm going to recommend a book I have before: Wishcraft, by Barbara Sher. If
yoiu were here, I'd lend you one of my copies...I try to keep several on
hand.

Think about what is fun for you, or excites you. What did you think you'd be
when you grew up, when you weren't listening to other people's ideas? If you
had another life to live, not being an unschooling mom, what would you be?
What if you had five lives to live? You don't have to be artsy, or even
spontaneous...maybe that's just not you.

Get the book and read it. It really will help!

Kathryn


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