coyote's corner

Hi, Have a good hearty belly laugh!!

Janis


> > > > > I am a medical student currently doing a rotation
> > > > > in toxicology at the
> > > > > poison control center. Today, this woman called in
> > > > > very upset because
> > > > > she caught her little daughter eating ants. I
> > > > > quickly reassured her
> > > > > that the ants are not harmful and there would be
> > > > > no need to bring her
> > > > > daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at
> > > > > the end of the
> > > > > conversation happened to mention that she gave her
> > > > > daughter some ant
> > > > > poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told
> > > > > her that she better
> > > > > bring her daughter into the emergency room right
> > > > > away.
> > > > > Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
> > > > > **********************
> > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Early this year, some Boeing employees on the
> > > > > airfield decided to
> > > > > steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were
> > > > > successful in getting
> > > > > it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they
> > > > > took it for a float on the
> > > > > river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter
> > > > > coming towards them. It turned
> > > > > out that the
> > > > > chopper was homing in on the emergency locator
> > > > > beacon that activated
> > > > > when the raft was inflated. They are no longer
> > > > > employed at Boeing.
> > > > > Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the
> > > > > paint might run.
> > > > > *************************
> > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > A true story out of San Francisco:
> > > > > A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America,
> > > > > walked into the
> > > > > branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your
> > > > > muny in this bag." While
> > > > > standing in line, waiting to give his note to the
> > > > > teller, he began to
> > > > > worry that someone had seen him write the note and
> > > > > might call the
> > > > > police before he reached the teller's window. So
> > > > > he left the Bank of
> > > > > America
> > > > > and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After
> > > > > waiting a few minutes in
> > > > > line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo
> > > > > teller. She read it and,
> > > > > surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't
> > > > > the brightest light
> > > > > in the harbor, told him that she could not accept
> > > > > his stickup note
> > > > > because it was written on a Bank of America
> > > > > deposit slip and that he would
> > > > > either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip
> > > > > or go back to Bank
> > > > > of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man
> > > > > said, "OK" and left. He
> > > > > was arrested a few minutes later, as he was
> > > > > waiting in line back at Bank
> > > > > of America.
> > > > > Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably
> > > > > couldn't read it anyway.
> > > > > **************************
> > > >
> > > > > A guy walked into a little corner store with a
> > > > > shotgun and demanded all
> > > > > of the cash from the cash drawer. After the
> > > > > cashier put the cash in a
> > > > > bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he
> > > > > wanted behind the
> > > > > counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put
> > > > > it in the bag as well, but
> > > > > the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't
> > > > > believe you are over 21."
> > > > > The robber said he was, but the clerk still
> > > > > refused to give it to him
> > > > > because he didn't believe him. At this point, the
> > > > > robber took his
> > > > > driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to
> > > > > the clerk. The clerk
> > > > > looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact
> > > > > over 21 and he put
> > > > > the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from
> > > > > the store with his
> > > > > loot. The cashier promptly called the police and
> > > > > gave the name and address
> > > > > of the robber that he got off the license. They
> > > > > arrested the robber two
> > > > > hours later.
> > > > > This guy definitely needs a sign.!
> > > > > ************************
> > > > >
> > > > > A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop
> > > > > nervously waving
> > > > > revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!"
> > > > > When his partner
> > > > > moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
> > > > > This guy doesn't need a sign, he probably figured
> > > > > it out himself.
> > > > > ****************************
> > > >
> > > > > Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty
> > > > > badly. He decided
> > > > > that he'd just throw a cinder block through a
> > > > > liquor store window, grab
> > > > > some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block
> > > > > and heaved it over his
> > > > > head at the window. The cinder block bounced back
> > > > > and hit the would-be
> > > > > thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It
> > > > > seems the liquor store
> > > > > window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was
> > > > > caught on videotape.
> > > > > Oh, that smarts.
> > > > > Give him his sign.
> > > > > ******************
> > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column
> > > > > reported that a man walked
> > > > > into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50
> > > > > A. M.., flashed a
> > > > > gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down
> > > > > because he said he
> > > > > couldn't open the cash register without a food
> > > > > order. When the man ordered
> > > > > onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available
> > > > > for breakfast. The man,
> > > > > frustrated, walked away.
> > > > > Sign please.
> > > > > *****************
> > > > > Please note that all of the above people are
> > > > > allowed to vote.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >__________________________________
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