susan

hi,

i think you're right. i wish difficult childhoods would always lead to
profound understand and compassion but i think more often than not it leads to
tremendous stress and distortions which make it very difficult to perceive the
world as a safe place full of potential. in my family, which i'm the
youngest of 5, the abuse still continues (though much more subtle) and some
of us have developed compassion and other have developed a hypersensitivity to
themselves and their own pain, making it impossible to see things from
another's point of view, leaving them with twisted perceptions and a sad take
on the world.

it is so sad to experience the loss and/or lack of love especially when one is
a child but when you can, as an adult, allow it in your life, it is a
wonderful triumph of the spirit. it's nice that after 30 years you can purge
this from your being. i had to be stricken with an autoimmune disease ( i
would recommend a less stubborn way of learning:) to begin to break down the
tremendous armor i had built to protect myself from the destruction of abuse.
but anything is possible if you desire it - as a kid, around 7, i remember
fighting with my mother about happiness. she said 'life is not to be happy'
and i said 'maybe yours isn't but mine is' - it was one of those pivotal
moments - and the search for happiness had begun though it took me a long time
my life is completely about happiness even the saddest event are now shrouded
in it.

-susan
austin,tx
always have dessert first

Sue wrote:

> From: Sue <sue.m.e@...>

> No Betsy,
>
> Thankyou for your sensitive email.
>
> You did not overstep any bounds, you expressed compassion from what I
> perceive to be a Christian viewpoint, and that is fine with me. I have no
> problems with anyone elses faith or convictions. What I do have problems
> is with the way some try to force their beliefs down the throats of others
> and by doing so they devalue the beliefs of others.
>
> Everyone's own beliefs are very important and very personal and should not
> be belittled by others. I know many fine Chrisitians and like their
> company, they are able to accept that I do not believe what they do and
> just get on with our relationship, whatever that may be.
>
> BTW I suffered at the hands of more than one person, for some strange
> reason working in a children's home seems to dehumanize people, or maybe it
> attracts the type of people who feel powerless in their own lives and
> realize that when in control of a group of orphans, unwanted children etc
> they are all powerfull.
>
> I think I'm mostly over it now, it took me over 30 years before I could
> talk about it, and only then could the healing really start to take effect.
> In some ways I do think a difficult childhood can lead to increased
> compassion for others, but I think it more often goes the other way and
> produces people who pass the suffering on to their own children.
>
> - Sue -