jmcseals SEALS

>SO, here's my math wiz daughter, which does impress me, but because she's
>not reading Tolkien at age eight (as was my older girl), I think she's not
>doing so well. Aaaargh! I need to de-school, don't I?

Hi Heidi,
YES!!! I have had this SAME problem! I am SUCH a reader. Usually
devouring at *least* one book a day. Although, usually I have several
running at the same time. I desperately want my children reading from birth
JUST because *I* love it so dang much! And for the outsider comments that
reading aloud and surrounding your children with books will lead to early
reading??? HOGWASH! I can't sit and eat a meal without having the box near
me to read. I don't care HOW many times I've read the same box, I will read
it over and over, just to read something. (Yes, I'm a little bonkers. :))
We have a library of thousands of books in our home. They creep out from
every possible corner, nook and cranny. Proabably one behind every toilet
even, but my 7 yr old still doesn't read fluently. We read literally dozens
of books every day aloud. She will sit and devour every moment, but it
hasn't caused her to sit and read them herself.

It has taken me quite some time to 'get over it'. Certainly, it isn't easy
when my entire family is a big wad of school teachers with their ingrained
ideas of how she *should* be doing this or that. This same child, however,
will tell you every math fact known to man. She's never been taught one,
save a few times she has asked for an answer to a problem and I offer it to
her. She absorbs everything she watches on tv, from discovey to the history
channel and will proudly tell you ALL about it. It is so funny to watch a 4
year old little girl describe how rain forms and why there is thunder and
lightening outside but no rain. And very technically, I might add.

But reading? Just hasn't clicked. She's not dumb, behind, uninterested,
she's just not READY! I feel certain with all that I am that once she
starts taking off reading that I will know everything there is to know about
anything! LOL

>"Navigating computer games" LOL are we raising the same kid? Katie can read
>words like "location" and "suspect" from a logic and math computer game for
>9-12 year olds, and finish the game without a problem...but if I wrote
>"location" on a piece of paper, she would not be able to read it.
>frustrating.
>HeidiC

We must be! How old is she again? I missed it. This is Nicholette exactly!
Try not to feel frustrated, feel PROUD! It was very frustrating for me,
too for a long time. I suppose here and there it still is, but purely for
selfish reasons. <bg> I consider myself to be a bright individual but I
can't follow written directions to save my life most of the time. Or follow
a map for that matter. I either enlist help or spend 8X the amount of time
any other peron would to get through it. I figure someday, either I'm going
to get so sick of being lost or paying to have everything preassembled that
I will force myself to figure it out or live with it. My children aren't
any different if I allow them to be. Which I do. I can see that she is
already becoming frustrated with being unable to read and she has started
asking for regular instruction. So what if she will be 7 in two weeks. If
she were in school, she wouldn't know as much math or science so it all
balances out in the end, right??

Jennifer

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Heidi

So what if she will be 7 in two weeks. If
> she were in school, she wouldn't know as much math or science so it
all
> balances out in the end, right??
>
> Jennifer


Jennifer! If she were in school, she'd have concerned teachers
looking her over, wondering why the reading hasn't begun yet, and in
immanent sp? danger of being labeled for life: slow reader, learning
disabled, or pick one from the many labels out there.

Heidi

p.s. you sound like me, having to have the cereal box or SOMETHING to
read, at all times, right at hand! L It's bad when you're reading the
toilet paper label in the bathroom! hee hee

Stephanie Elms

> But reading? Just hasn't clicked. She's not dumb, behind,
> uninterested,
> she's just not READY! I feel certain with all that I am that
> once she
> starts taking off reading that I will know everything there
> is to know about
> anything! LOL

Can you come over and explain this to my dad in a couple of years?? ;o)
I know that if Jason is "late" in reading he will think it is because *I*
have not done something that the schools would have done. Luckily he is
only 6 so we have a couple of years before I have to worry about it, but
I have an inkling that he will probably be on the late side. He likes to
wait until he is good and ready before doing something and then does
it overnight. He did it with potty training, getting himself dressed,
and is doing it with writing. Jason LOVES being read to. Asks me to read
to him constantly. His vocabulary is incredible...he loves to play with
words, rhyming, talking about words that are spelled different but sound
the same. But he does not like to do things that he does not know how to
do (or do well enough in his own eyes). I am getting more and more
comfortable with this but do get some flack about not requiring Jason
to practice writing every day or not "teaching" him reading. He is also
very mathematically/science inclined as well and can explain how lots of things
work (mostly picked up from Bill Nye and Magic School bus).

He has such a desire to learn things (that he is interested in) and he is
very bright and I have had talks with my dad about how it would be a shame
to "waste" it. Like by not making him do lessons would somehow lesson his
potential.

I just figure that time will tell and prove me right :o) but in the meantime I still
have to deal with so many questions about how is his reading coming, how is his
writing coming. And why do they focus on everything that he is *not* doing instead
of looking at everything that he is doing?

Stephanie E.

Tia Leschke

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary
saftety deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin
leschke@...
> I have an inkling that he will probably be on the late side. He likes to
> wait until he is good and ready before doing something and then does
> it overnight. He did it with potty training, getting himself dressed,
> and is doing it with writing.

Presumably you're pointing this kind of tendency out to your dad. Maybe
he'll even start to recognize it eventually.

Jason LOVES being read to. Asks me to read
> to him constantly. His vocabulary is incredible...he loves to play with
> words, rhyming, talking about words that are spelled different but sound
> the same. But he does not like to do things that he does not know how to
> do (or do well enough in his own eyes). I am getting more and more
> comfortable with this but do get some flack about not requiring Jason
> to practice writing every day or not "teaching" him reading. He is also
> very mathematically/science inclined as well and can explain how lots of
things
> work (mostly picked up from Bill Nye and Magic School bus).
>
> He has such a desire to learn things (that he is interested in) and he is
> very bright and I have had talks with my dad about how it would be a shame
> to "waste" it. Like by not making him do lessons would somehow lesson his
> potential.

Besides constantly pointing out to your dad the things your son is doing
*well*, maybe find that story about the animal school. That's the one where
the eagle is forced to practice swimming rather than flying, the fish is
forced to practice flying rather than swimming, or however it goes. What I
remember about it is that they all end up "disabled" in the one thing they
were already pretty good at naturally. I'll bet someone here knows where to
find it. (I'm not sure what you'd google on to find it.)
Tia

Stephanie Elms

> > I have an inkling that he will probably be on the late
> side. He likes to
> > wait until he is good and ready before doing something and then does
> > it overnight. He did it with potty training, getting
> himself dressed,
> > and is doing it with writing.
>
> Presumably you're pointing this kind of tendency out to your
> dad. Maybe
> he'll even start to recognize it eventually.

Yup. He says that potty training and learning to read and write are different things...
but I am still hanging on to hope that he gets it. He has pretty much always been a
student...BS electrical eng, MS Industrial Eng, almost got his PhD, is a CPA you name
it.

> Besides constantly pointing out to your dad the things your
> son is doing
> *well*, maybe find that story about the animal school.
> That's the one where
> the eagle is forced to practice swimming rather than flying,
> the fish is
> forced to practice flying rather than swimming, or however it
> goes. What I
> remember about it is that they all end up "disabled" in the
> one thing they
> were already pretty good at naturally. I'll bet someone here
> knows where to
> find it. (I'm not sure what you'd google on to find it.)
> Tia

I'll have to look for this one. I have gone on the offensive though. I started sending
out a monthly email detailing all the stuff that Jason has been doing (throwing in a bit
of educationese as well as pointing out all the different ways he is learning. Seems
to be helping so far.

Stephanie E.

Tia Leschke

>
> Yup. He says that potty training and learning to read and write are
different things...

Sure they are. But the child, and the way he learns, is what's important.
If he has a tendency to wait until he's sure he can do something before
trying it, he's likely to be that way with everything.
Tia

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary
saftety deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin
leschke@...

Betsy

**Yup. He says that potty training and learning to read and write are
different things...**

Um... tell him he's wrong? You have to wait for the brain and nerve
functions that control the sphincter and the bladder to develop. You
have to wait for the parts of the brain that control the tracking of the
eyes and the blending of sounds to develop. You have to wait for the
parts of the brain that control the fingertips to develop. Why is that different?

Betsy