jmcseals SEALS

My 21 month old son (two June 30th) still isn't really talking. I realize
this is very young but I'm catching a LOT of flack because of it. He says
'momma' clearly and that's about it. He does say other words but I'm the
only one who can understand him. I don't have a lot of faith in most
parenting books anyway, but every one I have read so far says he should be
clearly saying at *least* three words. (Clear to everyone, not jsut me.)

So am I just letting everyone get to me? When/should I become concerned?
Mind you, he is 6th in a line of seven, so he really has no need to talk!
>bg< BUT, he does get frustrated sometimes when he can't get his needs
across to me. Most of the time, I am able to understand his body/face
expressions and his baby signs, but it does get tricky every once in a
while. Personally, I don't see that he really has a need to talk yet. He's
such a happy, laid back guy and I am very in tuned with him, so I can
generally anticipate what he needs/wants right away. We play word games
everyday in a natural way...he sees a ball and I say "ball...that's a red
ball....do you see the ball Caeleb?" He usually smiles and gets excited and
occasionally will say ball. Later, I may catch him saying ball when he sees
one or plays with one, but I'm the only one who understands that he is
saying ball.

Just wondering if any of you had a late talker and how things turned out!

Jennifer




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Backstrom kelli

wasn't it Einstein who didn't talk until 4 or something? My 2 1/2 year old seemed to me to not be talking nearly as much as the other kids her age. However around 19-20 months she had a real verbal growth spurt and started saying lots of things. My doctor (who I really like and trust, and I hope you like yours) told me to relax a little and that made me feel better. Maybe you could talk to your doctor? Good luck, Kelli mommy to Molly 10, Sadie 2 and Nora 5 months.

jmcseals SEALS <jmcseals@...> wrote:
My 21 month old son (two June 30th) still isn't really talking. I realize
this is very young but I'm catching a LOT of flack because of it. He says
'momma' clearly and that's about it. He does say other words but I'm the
only one who can understand him. I don't have a lot of faith in most
parenting books anyway, but every one I have read so far says he should be
clearly saying at *least* three words. (Clear to everyone, not jsut me.)

So am I just letting everyone get to me? When/should I become concerned?
Mind you, he is 6th in a line of seven, so he really has no need to talk!
>bg< BUT, he does get frustrated sometimes when he can't get his needs
across to me. Most of the time, I am able to understand his body/face
expressions and his baby signs, but it does get tricky every once in a
while. Personally, I don't see that he really has a need to talk yet. He's
such a happy, laid back guy and I am very in tuned with him, so I can
generally anticipate what he needs/wants right away. We play word games
everyday in a natural way...he sees a ball and I say "ball...that's a red
ball....do you see the ball Caeleb?" He usually smiles and gets excited and
occasionally will say ball. Later, I may catch him saying ball when he sees
one or plays with one, but I'm the only one who understands that he is
saying ball.

Just wondering if any of you had a late talker and how things turned out!

Jennifer




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coyote's corner

Hi,
My son talked late - so many people had comments. The fact is kids develop at their own speed. Period. He'll talk when he wants to.
Janis
----- Original Message -----
From: jmcseals SEALS
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, April 24, 2003 3:24 AM
Subject: [Unschooling-dotcom] late talking



My 21 month old son (two June 30th) still isn't really talking. I realize
this is very young but I'm catching a LOT of flack because of it. He says
'momma' clearly and that's about it. He does say other words but I'm the
only one who can understand him. I don't have a lot of faith in most
parenting books anyway, but every one I have read so far says he should be
clearly saying at *least* three words. (Clear to everyone, not jsut me.)

So am I just letting everyone get to me? When/should I become concerned?
Mind you, he is 6th in a line of seven, so he really has no need to talk!
>bg< BUT, he does get frustrated sometimes when he can't get his needs
across to me. Most of the time, I am able to understand his body/face
expressions and his baby signs, but it does get tricky every once in a
while. Personally, I don't see that he really has a need to talk yet. He's
such a happy, laid back guy and I am very in tuned with him, so I can
generally anticipate what he needs/wants right away. We play word games
everyday in a natural way...he sees a ball and I say "ball...that's a red
ball....do you see the ball Caeleb?" He usually smiles and gets excited and
occasionally will say ball. Later, I may catch him saying ball when he sees
one or plays with one, but I'm the only one who understands that he is
saying ball.

Just wondering if any of you had a late talker and how things turned out!

Jennifer




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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

MARK and JULIE SOLICH

> Just wondering if any of you had a late talker and how things turned out!
>
> Jennifer
>
>My 2nd son didn't talk at all till he was about three. He pretty much
grunted and pointed then suddenly began speaking in sentences. I had a lot
of people telling me about speech therapy but I felt he would talk when he
was ready and he did. He is a very bright and very articulate 6 year old
now. People no longer talk to me about speech therapy, instead they express
amazement at his intelligence!

Julie

Julie
>
>
> _________________________________________________________________
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>
> If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email
the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner,
Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an
email to:
> [email protected]
>
> Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>

kbolden

>>>>My son talked late - so many people had comments. The fact is kids develop at their own speed. Period. He'll talk when he wants to.
Janis<<<<<

My brother didn't talk at all until he was 3, and didn't talk clearly enough to be understood by anyone outside the family until he was 5. My mother worried about it endlessly, but he just didn't do it until he was ready.

He's now a attorney in a hot-shot law firm, and boy oh boy, can he talk! :-)

Kay

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Tim and Maureen

----- Original Message -----
From: kbolden
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, April 24, 2003 6:41 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] late talking


>>>>My son talked late - so many people had comments. The fact is kids develop at their own speed. Period. He'll talk when he wants to.
Janis<<<<<

My nephew who I childcare for everyday will be three in June. A month ago very little language. All of the sudden words sentences.Saw a police officer yesterday. What are you? Is that a gun you got. Why. so yea likely he will talk well soon

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Sorcha

My first son wasn't talking when he was 21 months. Or two years. Or
two and a half years. And when I'd ask about it online, people would
tell me about genius children who never talked and then spoke full
sentences.

Little kids at the park, much smaller than my son, spoke in full
sentences. (It did *not* help that he's very tall for his age -- he's
not quite five now and taller than many eight and nine year olds). The
whole thing made me want to stay home and cry.

Actually, I cried a lot. And I was scared. And I didn't want to take
him to a government-sponsored speech therapy program because he's such a
sensitive person that I knew he wouldn't survive public school, and I
was afraid that if he got a diagnosis I wouldn't be allowed to
homeschool. I couldn't afford private speech therapy.

I felt like a failure as a parent. I mean, I put so much effort into
parenting, and he couldn't talk! There are people who put absolutely no
effort into parenting and ignore their kids all day while they watch
talk shows, and their kids learn how to talk.

What happened was not a miracle. He didn't just wake up one morning
quoting Shakespeare. His first clear word was "apple", at the age of
three. Then he started saying "kee ka", which turned out to be "kitty
cat". It was a long, hard struggle for him to talk and to get his point
across clearly. He didn't speak clearly enough for outsiders to
completely understand him under he was four, maybe a little older. But
he was making progress everyday, so I knew it would be ok.

He's about to turn five at the end of May, and he speaks clearly and
intelligently. His vocabulary keeps impressing people, and he's lately
begun correcting his own grammar.

I never thought I'd say this, but sometimes I wish he'd stop talking for
just a minute. From the minute he wakes up, until long after the rest
of the family is asleep, he never stops. And most of that is a barrage
of questions. One night he came into the bedroom after I'd been asleep
and started asking, "Where do the Care Bears live?" "Care-a-lot."
"Isn't that in the clouds?" "Yes." "Don't airplanes fly in the
clouds?" "Mm-hmm." "Do you need a ticket to go on an airplane?"
"Mm-hmm." "Ok, mom, you go back to sleep. I'm going to go out the
front door and walk to the airport and buy a ticket so I can fly up to
Care-a-lot." "WHAT???!!" This is what I mean about wishing he'd stop
talking for a minute now and then. Late at night, I don't listen as
carefully as I should because I'm trying to fall back to sleep, and you
have to listen carefully to someone like him, because he's always making
plans.

If I knew then how well he'd be speaking now, I would have saved myself
a ton of stress. I don't know anyone who spoke as late as my son (all
the other late stories seemed to end with, "and then when he was three
he said, "Mother, what are your feelings about this presidential
administration?" Or some other genius thing. My son was a late speaker
who started at the beginning and took a long time to catch up).

If I'd known some of the intelligent things he'd say, I wouldn't have
secretly wondered if he was, well, not smart (he also had "issues" where
he didn't play with toys the "right" way -- his mind works differently
than other kids. For example, he never figured out the shape sorter and
I finally threw it away in frustration). His mind still works
differently than most people's, but now I realize that it's his greatest
gift, and he may never be a genius, but the way his mind works humbles
me.

I'm also glad every day that I didn't take him to a specialist because I
know with his temperament and unusual way of thinking, combined with the
speech delay, there would have been a diagnosis. And I'm glad I can
think of him as "my wonderful, unique son" instead of "my son, who has
A.B.C.D.E.F.G."

Sorcha

Kelly Lenhart

> Just wondering if any of you had a late talker and how things
turned out!
>
> Jennifer
>

I can't honestly remember when Number One Son started talking, but I
remember it was on the late side. At seven his I can't get him to
shut up! -big grin- But I do remember the difficulties we had at
the time with figuring out what he wanted. Baby signs are the
BEST!! If you can tell there are areas he's getting frustrated it,
maybe figure out a couple signs for him and really work to use them?

Number Two Son is 22.5 months and just this week, literally, started
adding words to his vocabulary daily. I've been joking that by the
end of summer he'll be "talking." It will make life easier, sure,
but I'll be happier when he figures out "next to" and "behind."
Telling him where his ball went without them is so tough! -snicker-

Bottom line? Don't sweat it!

Kelly

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/24/03 1:33:04 AM, jmcseals@... writes:

<< Just wondering if any of you had a late talker and how things turned out!
>>

Holly was only third, not 7th, and a preemie, and she talked just to Marty at
first. At least he was her interpreter.

One of my unschooling models and mentors, Carol, had a son, smaller of twins
(likely preemie too) and he talked REALLY late, and read late, and is 18 and
quite okay now! That's Liam of this article: http://sandradodd.com/r/carol

Sandra

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/24/03 8:04:57 AM, sorcha-aisling@... writes:

<< If I knew then how well he'd be speaking now, I would have saved myself
a ton of stress. I don't know anyone who spoke as late as my son (all
the other late stories seemed to end with, "and then when he was three
he said, "Mother, what are your feelings about this presidential
administration?" Or some other genius thing. My son was a late speaker
who started at the beginning and took a long time to catch up). >>

Liam (Carol's kid) didn't speak plainly until he was five or six. Some of
the other kids could understand him. But when he was three or so even his
twin sister often just shook her head and said "I have no idea." But I
discovered one day he was listening more and better than the rest of us when
I had my kids and Carol's at the zoo. I think Liam was five. There was an
announcement on the PA system, all squawky and I couldn't understand it. I
just said in general to that group of five to seven kids (I don't remember
the birth status of Holly and Julie at that point; maybe just five kids <g>
"What did she say?"

All but Liam just looked at me like "what did WHO say?" but Liam repeated
what the announcement had been.

Cool!

Longest sentence I had ever heard from him. It was a quote, but it was some
evidence that he was hooked into language more than he seemed to be.

Sandra

jmcseals SEALS

Thank you so much, Sorcha, what a wonderful story!

Jennifer







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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

jmcseals SEALS

>>>It will make life easier, sure,
but I'll be happier when he figures out "next to" and "behind."
Telling him where his ball went without them is so tough! -snicker-<<<

See, this is what I keep trying to tell my husband. Caeleb understands
EVERYTHING! I can tell him to go in his room and get his shoes and socks
and jacket and he'll walk out with all three! He easily takes 3, 4, even 5
step directions without fail. He can identify every body part, and even
some shapes and colors. I know he's bright, but I can't seem to get that
through to my husband, or others for that matter. I think most of it is
just wanting him to talk to please everyone else. That sounds terrible, but
it's really hard to deal with everyone ELSE when you KNOW everything is
okay, you know?

I imagine, like everything else, this will all be a fleeting memory which I
will miss terribly. His little grunts and pointing are so sweet....I 'm in
no true rush for him to grow up.

BTW, Caeleb is very big for his age, so I think that has a lot to do with
other people's need for him to be talking already.

Jennifer




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[email protected]

In a message dated 4-24-2003 10:26:31 AM Mountain Daylight Time,
jmcseals@... writes:

> I know he's bright, but I can't seem to get that
> through to my husband, or others for that matter

Signs count as vocabulary words!! You mentioned his *baby signs* ~ with my
boy, who desperately wanted to talk at 1 but just couldn't so he screamed, I
sat down and gave him signs. My former profession as an interpreter
certainly helped, as he was exposed to lots of signing and lots of native
signers, but hardly a requirement for signing at home. His signs outnumbered
his spoken word until well after his second birthday. I'm proud both kids
can sign, but mostly I'm proud of myself for handling the *need to
communicate* in a way that worked for my kid :-D

diana,
The wackiest widow westriver...
“I prefer to be true to myself, even at the hazard of incurring the ridicule
of others, rather than to be false, and to incur my own abhorrence.”
--Frederick Douglass


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Tia Leschke

> >My 2nd son didn't talk at all till he was about three. He pretty much
> grunted and pointed then suddenly began speaking in sentences. I had a lot
> of people telling me about speech therapy but I felt he would talk when he
> was ready and he did. He is a very bright and very articulate 6 year old
> now. People no longer talk to me about speech therapy, instead they
express
> amazement at his intelligence!

My youngest was a late talker. I did take him for some speech therapy when
he was three. It wasn't because I thought he *should* be talking. It was
because he was into the question stage, and I couldn't understand the
questions. It was getting very frustrating for both of us. Aside from
that, I would have waited. It only took a few sessions to get him to the
point where I could understand him. It took years before he really sounded
like his age, but people could understand him just fine.
My grandson just turned 2 1/2, and his speech has just blossomed in the last
few weeks. Every kid is different.
Tia

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary
saftety deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin
leschke@...

m p

Hello Jennifer, I'm a newbie here and was laying low for a while to read up and get the feel of the group but I could not resist to answer your mail.My youngest daughter Eliora is turning 2 in juni, she hardly speaks apart from mama (dutch for mom).The other 3 children were much more verbal at a young age, there is a huge age gap between them, 19, 17 and 14 and now Eliora.I found this neat program to teach myself and her baby sign-lenguage. That works great. Since all of us start with the ability to understand body lenguage, that seems to be the first real way in which we communicate. So why not give him some tools that he can work with.I started with learning some of the signs and introducing her with these when apropriate, words for drinking, dog, food, more and such. she picked it up realy fast and even comes up with her own, whiping of hands when she played with sand is now her word for sandbox. Offcourse I speak all the words as well as signing them. It made her less frustrated about not being able to express herself.You can read about this system at www.mybabyfingers.com.It even makes your kid smarter because it learns to use both hemisperes of the brain at the same time, neat.I think she will speak before she is 18 LOL Hope to have been of help.Greetings, Myrrha

jmcseals SEALS <jmcseals@...> wrote:
My 21 month old son (two June 30th) still isn't really talking. I realize
this is very young but I'm catching a LOT of flack because of it. He says
'momma' clearly and that's about it. He does say other words but I'm the
only one who can understand him.


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jmcseals SEALS

Myrrha,

Thanks so much! I'll have to go check it out. It sounds similar to the
book we have. Good luck in your new adventure!

Jennifer








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Robin Bentley

I can relate to many of the things Sorcha has mentioned. Especially the
"sometimes I wish he'd stop talking." My dd didn't say much at all for
quite a while (up until 2 yo, I think.) She developed her own signs for
things like "drink" - took me awhile to figure it out, with some frustration
on both parts, but they worked. Her first word was "No" I think! She was 3
before sentences really began. Now they don't stop.

In my anxiety, I made lists of the words my daughter could say or said her
own way, to ease my fear that she'd never talk. Now, every once in a while,
she and I read it together to have a good chuckle. There are some good ones
like "ogre-hogger" for "motorcycle"!

So, I worried, yes. But I found parents and a wonderful LLL Leader who
reassured me, especially since they could see it wasn't because she
*couldn't* speak or hear. I also found a great book (would your husband
read it, I wonder?) called "Late Talking Children" by Thomas Sowell. He had
a late talking boy (it seems to be more prevalent in boys than girls) and
decided to research it. He talks about that different "wiring" and even
relates it to a facility with numbers, science & engineering. Fascinating
reading, and calming and compassionate, too.

HTH

Robin B.

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/24/2003 9:04:54 AM Central Standard Time,
sorcha-aisling@... writes:


> Actually, I cried a lot. And I was scared. And I didn't want to take
> him to a government-sponsored speech therapy program because he's such a
> sensitive person that I knew he wouldn't survive public school, and I
> was afraid that if he got a diagnosis I wouldn't be allowed to
> homeschool. I couldn't afford private speech therapy.

You've just captured in a nutshell what my feelings were the whole time we
were dealing with my son's speach delay, as they labeled it. Except I did
take him to Early Intervention. And then refused to get him tested at the
school for the older than three year old program. He had already tested out
at that time.

I do remember that the therapist didn't believe me when I related his first
complex sentence to her. He had gone upstairs to get a train and I was on
the couch downstairs. I watched him going up and he said "No cry, Mommy, I
be right back." So, of course I cried. But our next session I asked Nathan
to describe his trip to the zoo the day before and he said, rather
indignantly "Dolphin no jump up hit ball nose!" Quizzed him in front of the
therapist - how awful of me, I now realize!

So, Nathan's progress wasn't miraculous either. It was slow, but steady.
He's almost five now and speaks more and better all the time. He wakes up
and tells me his dreams. He's happy and self confident.

That mommy-guilt is a killer.

Elizabeth


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

jmcseals SEALS

Hi Robin,

I saw this book at the bookstore but I hesitated to buy it. Looked like it
was geared more towards much older kids. Say, 5 and up. I may have to
check it out though. If nothing else, for an interesting read!

Thanks!

Jennifer




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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

jmcseals SEALS

He had gone upstairs to get a train and I was on
the couch downstairs. I watched him going up and he said "No cry, Mommy, I
be right back." So, of course I cried.
***********************************************8

Oh! You MUST write this down and date it! That is just *SO* precious!
Almost made ME cry! :) Sweet baby boy!

Jennifer







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[email protected]

My little brother lived with me when he was little. He first spoke in single
word questions, but got to where he could string them together like this:

Me?
Go?
Store?
You?
("Can I go to the store with you?")

You?
Me?
Drink?
Milk?

But one day we were driving along and he said very clearly and with all the
proper intonation "I like that car."

It was a pink mustang. Not wanting to make a big deal of his sudden verbal
maturity, I just said "You like that pink car?"

He said. "I do. I do like that car."

Wow.

He was three. So it's not a good late talking story, but it's another
illustration of that moment coming all of a sudden.

Sandra

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/25/2003 11:48:34 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:

> He was three. So it's not a good late talking story, but it's another
> illustration of that moment coming all of a sudden.
>

Our next door neighbor child, she four now, she never uttered one sound
before he second birthday. Not ma, not ba, not dada, no bye bye, NOTHING.
Not a sound of any sort. Her parents were resigned to the fact she "might"
have a problem. I was fairly sure of it.

She and her brother are here more waking hours than home, it seemed peculiar
that she had NO sound available to her at all. She seemed in a world all her
own for the most part. Her mother was distant with her for sure. Often
saying she "didn't want to get too attached to her, since she had to go back
to work at six weeks". I nurtured her and held her and cuddled her. Didn't
make any difference.

The day after her second birthday she was over and we were all sitting
around, we heard someone in a very strange voice say "whose ball is that?"
it was a voice no one recognized. It was coming from near the front window
where Courtney was standing but it was IMPOSSIBLE for her to have said a
complete sentence, she made NO sounds.

I tentatively said "what?" clear as day, she repeats "whose ball is that?".
She hasn't been quiet barely a second since. I know that isn't really LATE
talking but it's odd and it's late to not be offering ANY sounds or attempts
at communication.

It was simply amazing to me, she still refused to speak for her family for
probably close to a year longer. Not a word to them, she just allowed
herself to be "there" and not really a part of anything. They would come
over here to hear her speak. Her grandparents were appalled that their
granddaughter would talk for someone other than her family.

I still have no explanation for it, it's probably the oddest thing regarding
speech and children I've ever encountered. My youngest brother didn't really
use language until he was four but he had a house full of people sitting at
the eager to meet his every anticipated whim, so he didn't really have to
speak.


glena


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

coyote's corner

I think it's a great story.

Every child is different.
Every child is a treasure.

Janis
----- Original Message -----
From: SandraDodd@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, April 25, 2003 11:45 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] late talking (my response is LONG)


My little brother lived with me when he was little. He first spoke in single
word questions, but got to where he could string them together like this:

Me?
Go?
Store?
You?
("Can I go to the store with you?")

You?
Me?
Drink?
Milk?

But one day we were driving along and he said very clearly and with all the
proper intonation "I like that car."

It was a pink mustang. Not wanting to make a big deal of his sudden verbal
maturity, I just said "You like that pink car?"

He said. "I do. I do like that car."

Wow.

He was three. So it's not a good late talking story, but it's another
illustration of that moment coming all of a sudden.

Sandra

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