susan

hi,

sorry about this late response but i wrote this sometime ago but changed
servers and email address and ran into some glitches so i've been
off-line/list for a bit and am slowly catching up. sorry if i've
repeated what others have said but i've got lots to read:)

thanks
susan

hi wini,

i am also 40 with a 4 yo (son). i'm a painter and pretty much stopped
painting after getting
pregnant. my situation is a bit different because what's kept me from
paint for the past few
years was an autoimmune disease which screwed up the muscles in my
shoulders preventing
me from doing nearly everything (including dressing). though it seems
to be passing
getting back to painting has become a lesson in patience.

what i would like to say as far as working and homeschooling is i think
its very possible and it will
look very different. i think the essence of unschooling is to be who
you are and pursue your
interests - you don't have to sacrifice yourself or your kids, but when
you pursue something do
it in the context of your family, not - you do your thing and your child
does her, creating a side by
side situation but involve your daughter in what you are doing and get
involved in what your
daughter is doing. setting up mutual experiences where everyone's needs
are important and
are met.

here's an example of something we have done. my husband, thad, had been
working at home
and he would stay up late to work on the computer. well rene', who was
3 1/2 when this came
about, really wanted to work with him so we bought him his own computer
and set it up next to
the other one. thad and rene' would work late into the night right next
to each other. now thad is
working for a software company and has set it up for rene' to be a
software tester. rene' can't wait
for this to happen. he doesn't get to go everyday - which i thinks he
would like - but he is excited
because he will be getting involved.

obviously your situation will be unique and i think it will call for
some creativity but i absolutely
believe anything is possible you just have to find what works for you.
i think a lot of people fear
a lost of identity when their children take a prominent role in their
lives hence the high daycare
enrollment (nearly all my friends have gone the route of '2 person
income' and most don't
really need the money as much as they need the verification that they
are contributing
financially and can call themselves something other than 'stay at home
parents'). i certainly can
understand this need. our society has made it an embarrassment to say
you're a stay at home
parent. but we must do what it is that makes us confident because it is
really important to our
kids that we as parents find our own happiness but in the context of
being parents. good luck
though i doubt you need it, just follow your heart as it appears you
have been and all will be
fine (and rough days will be well worth it:)

-susan
austin, tx
'unity through diversity'