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In a message dated 4/13/03 8:52:30 PM, grlynbl@... writes:

<< But seriously, about Santa Claus. I DID
believe in him with all my heart, and that made him very real to me.
Somehow, my mother played the "Santa" card just right.. lol, and I was never
left with feelings of being decieved. I know lots of folks think its not
right to "lie" to kids about Santa, but to me, it was not a lie, he was
really REAL as long as I believed in him. >>

I'll just throw this out for whatever it's worth........... The whole lying
about Santa thing didn't/doesn't sit right with me either. (How can your kids
really trust you after lying to them for so long about something?) On the
other hand, I didn't want to take away something so fun to a child. (And
there's lots of people who trust their parents who lied to them about Santa.
Maybe if all else is in order, lying about Santa will be *understood*.)
Soooooo, with all that in mind, this is what I came up with. (It's a fine
line, I know, but it sounds good to me, so I'm crossing my fingers it'll be
ok. It *feels* like it will be.) Whenever "Santa" comes up in conversation
(usually around xmas time), I Make Sure to use the word "MAGIC" (as in that's
what he is, AND in explaning what/how he does things). (This last xmas, I
heard from my oldest -8- "I KNOW mommy, he's Magic" as in I said it one too
many times I guess <g>.) Sooooo, whenever we talk about "magic", EXCEPT when
talking about Santa (like David Copperfield, or things in movies, or the
magic tricks their Uncle does, or Whatever), I THEN Make Sure to say "magic
is pretend". So; whenever "magic" comes up, I say "pretend", and whenever
"Santa" comes up, I say "magic". That way, whenever it comes out that Santa
doesn't really exist, it shouldn't sound so much like a "lie", because
they've been told all along that "magic is pretend". I'm even thinking that
they might even just put two&two together on their own, as in "magic is
pretend, we know Santa is magic, therefore Santa is pretend" kind-of-thing.
AND, if/when ever point blank asked, no matter what age, I WILL NOT lie about
him actually being real. THAT, IMO, is a mistake. I hope all that makes
sense. Lara...........

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In a message dated 4/13/03 8:52:30 PM, grlynbl@... writes:

<< But seriously, about Santa Claus. I DID
believe in him with all my heart, and that made him very real to me.
Somehow, my mother played the "Santa" card just right.. lol, and I was never
left with feelings of being decieved. I know lots of folks think its not
right to "lie" to kids about Santa, but to me, it was not a lie, he was
really REAL as long as I believed in him. >>

I'll just throw this out for whatever it's worth........... The whole lying
about Santa thing didn't/doesn't sit right with me either. (How can your kids
really trust you after lying to them for so long about something?) On the
other hand, I didn't want to take away something so fun to a child. (And
there's lots of people who trust their parents who lied to them about Santa.
Maybe if all else is in order, lying about Santa will be *understood*.)
Soooooo, with all that in mind, this is what I came up with. (It's a fine
line, I know, but it sounds good to me, so I'm crossing my fingers it'll be
ok. It *feels* like it will be.) Whenever "Santa" comes up in conversation
(usually around xmas time), I Make Sure to use the word "MAGIC" (as in that's
what he is, AND in explaning what/how he does things). (This last xmas, I
heard from my oldest -8- "I KNOW mommy, he's Magic" as in I said it one too
many times I guess <g>.) Sooooo, whenever we talk about "magic", EXCEPT when
talking about Santa (like David Copperfield, or things in movies, or the
magic tricks their Uncle does, or Whatever), I THEN Make Sure to say "magic
is pretend". So; whenever "magic" comes up, I say "pretend", and whenever
"Santa" comes up, I say "magic". That way, whenever it comes out that Santa
doesn't really exist, it shouldn't sound so much like a "lie", because
they've been told all along that "magic is pretend". I'm even thinking that
they might even just put two&two together on their own, as in "magic is
pretend, we know Santa is magic, therefore Santa is pretend" kind-of-thing.
AND, if/when ever point blank asked, no matter what age, I WILL NOT lie about
him actually being real. THAT, IMO, is a mistake. I hope all that makes
sense. Lara...........

sablehs

Laramike12@... wrote: Sooooo, whenever we talk about "magic", EXCEPT when
talking about Santa (like David Copperfield, or things in movies, or the
magic tricks their Uncle does, or Whatever), I THEN Make Sure to say "magic
is pretend". So; whenever "magic" comes up, I say "pretend", and whenever
"Santa" comes up, I say "magic". That way, whenever it comes out that Santa
doesn't really exist, it shouldn't sound so much like a "lie", because
they've been told all along that "magic is pretend". In our house we {and many pagans} use the word "magick" for things like Santa, fairies,lepricons,witches and such.Tracy


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In a message dated 4/13/2003 5:45:06 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
Laramike12@... writes:
> That way, whenever it comes out that Santa
> doesn't really exist, it shouldn't sound so much like a "lie", because
> they've been told all along that "magic is pretend".

Magic is an ILLUSION. It is NOT pretend!

~Kelly, former Magi-mom to a VERY good magician!


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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In a message dated 4/13/03 3:45:05 PM, Laramike12@... writes:

<< I'll just throw this out for whatever it's worth........... The whole
lying
about Santa thing didn't/doesn't sit right with me either. (How can your kids
really trust you after lying to them for so long about something?) >>

We did Santa without lying. I never said "Santa will come." My husband and
I discussed it when Kirby was little and decided if we could do it without
lying, we'd go ahead.

If a kid ever asked straight out something like "Have you ever seen Santa?"
I'd say "No."

"How does Santa get in?" I said "My mom used to say he just came in the door
if you didn't have a chimney."

Once Holly said "Is there really a Santa?" I said "Well... I always put out
a stocking when I was little and in the morning there was stuff in it.
That's what *I* know."

And sometimes I'd say "What do you hope the answer is?" or something vague
like that and they would go away thinking.

It was interesting that they didn't press me harder, but they never did.

Sandra

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In a message dated 4/13/03 10:25:09 PM, kbcdlovejo@... writes:

<< Magic is an ILLUSION. It is NOT pretend! >>

Yes, you are right in that sense. I use the word pretend, maybe a little
different then some. To me illusion IS pretend (though pretend is not always
illusion), in that pretend means something that's not real (whether it's
something that is actually happening, but appears to be something different
-like magic tricks or actors acting on TV- OR something that's not happening
at all -like Santa coming-). It all falls TO ME under "pretend", just simply
because it's not "real". Semantics I suppose. Lara.........

coyote's corner

Also in my house.
What some call miracles, we call magick.
Janis aka janacoyote
----- Original Message -----
From: sablehs
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, April 13, 2003 5:58 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Santa thread




Laramike12@... wrote: Sooooo, whenever we talk about "magic", EXCEPT when
talking about Santa (like David Copperfield, or things in movies, or the
magic tricks their Uncle does, or Whatever), I THEN Make Sure to say "magic
is pretend". So; whenever "magic" comes up, I say "pretend", and whenever
"Santa" comes up, I say "magic". That way, whenever it comes out that Santa
doesn't really exist, it shouldn't sound so much like a "lie", because
they've been told all along that "magic is pretend". In our house we {and many pagans} use the word "magick" for things like Santa, fairies,lepricons,witches and such.Tracy


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In a message dated 4/13/03 6:39:36 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
SandraDodd@... writes:

> Once Holly said "Is there really a Santa?" I said "Well... I always put out
>
> a stocking when I was little and in the morning there was stuff in it.
> That's what *I* know."
>
> And sometimes I'd say "What do you hope the answer is?" or something vague
> like that and they would go away thinking.
>
> It was interesting that they didn't press me harder, but they never did.
>
> Sandra
>

Thats the kind of stuff my Mom always replied. I never felt betrayed at
all. BUT I know some folks that did. A couple of guys come to mind, both my
husband and my brother in law ( not his brother, my sisters husband) were
VERY disillusioned with thier parents when they found out about Santa. They
felt like they had been tricked just to make them "be good" My husband
thought, well, if they made Santa Clause up, I guess they also made Jesus up
to keep me in line. ( yeah, unfortunatetly, a much used tactic to keep kids
"in line")
See, my parents never threatened that Santa wouldnt come.. or that Santa was
watching, or that I would get coal, or anything like that. Santa always came
and brought great gifts, period. Sometimes older folks would ask if I had
been good, if Santa was coming to see me, I thought.. pffft, how ridiculous,
there is nothing I could do to make Santa not come. Maybe the all loving,
all generous notion of Santa and his gifts made my belief in God and Jesus
and grace much easier. I realize more and more how blessed I was (am) for
having such a great family

Teresa


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

kayb85

> I'll just throw this out for whatever it's worth........... The
whole lying
> about Santa thing didn't/doesn't sit right with me either. (How can
your kids
> really trust you after lying to them for so long about something?)

My parents didn't want to lie to me about Santa clause and I grew up
knowning the truth about Santa.

I've done the same thing with my kids. They always have known that
Santa is just pretend, as is the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy. I
just don't want to lie to them. I want them to know that when they
ask me something they will get the full truth.

We do, however, pretend about Santa. We visit him at the mall. My
dad dresses up like him. We watch all the Christmas movies and
sometimes we even leave milk and cookies out. But it's all one big
fun pretend game, and everyone knows it. My youngest son is
fascinated by Santa for some reason and play acted Santa a lot at
Christmas time. He was Santa, I was the reindeer. He would hold
onto my shirt, make me stop behind the couch, climb down the chimney
(climb over the couch), put a present under the tree, and then come
and grab onto my shirt again. He gave me a wedgie whenever I was to
start or stop. :) We went to a flea market yesterday and he got a
Santa Barney movie and we watched it twice today. I was thinking of
getting him the little people santa clause set. He knows it's
pretend, just like he knows Barney and Big Bird are pretend, but he
loves it.

Sheila

Mary

From: <grlynbl@...>

<< See, my parents never threatened that Santa wouldnt come.. or that Santa
was
watching, or that I would get coal, or anything like that. Santa always
came
and brought great gifts, period. Sometimes older folks would ask if I had
been good, if Santa was coming to see me, I thought.. pffft, how
ridiculous,
there is nothing I could do to make Santa not come>>


I did the same thing with Tara. Her dad would joke around every now and then
about Santa leaving reindeer poop in her stocking but it was always a joke.
The thing I had hard time with was Tara was very aware of the disadvantaged
childrena nd families and how people were collecting for them. She couldn't
understand how Santa would forget them or not bring them more things that
they really needed. She was a tough cookie and way too smart for me!!!

Mary B