sablehs

Well it's about 2:44 and two of my three girls came home from spending the night with my husband's brother's kids. We kinda knew it would happen and let them go if they want, but always welcome them home. A few times they were stuck because whomever they were staying the night with wouldn't call us to pick them up. {we didn't think we needed to give them permission because we told the kids they could always call us, but the adult would intervine} "Brother" has been good about it so the kids say and he brought them both times himself, but I did make sure to tell them that I would be glad to pick them up and they always have the "out" to come home. And I did warn them in advance that it might happen.I am sure this only adds to some people thinking "poor kids" because they missed us. To me, I feel blessed my kids really love us like that and feel comfortable enough to try but know they are always welcome home. And we welcome them back with a little joking about it and a lot of love, but nothing shunning them that they didn't meet some expectation we had. I remember being stuck someplace and not happy after the evening went on. I felt so out of control and never wanted my kids to feel that."Brother" {what we call my BIL} said he might see us again in another 45 minutes. If my oldest {9} decides she really misses us too. Ether way is fine.Just thought I'd share.Tracy


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[email protected]

In a message dated 12/04/2003 23:59:31 Pacific Daylight Time,
sablehs@... writes:


> I remember being stuck someplace and not happy after the evening went on. I
> felt so out of control and never wanted my

Tracy, I can remember walking home at 2 am when I was 8 years old . I had
tried a sleep over at my friend's house down the block. I got homesick and
carried my sleeping bag and pillow home and rang the doorbell to get in. My 3
brothers and parents all answered the door. They were pretty mad at me, but I
was so relieved to be home that I endured it. Good for you for supporting
your kids. I still get very homesick when away.
Nancy in BC


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sablehs

Oldest ended up staying there all night. And most of the day. She had fun. She mentened to Grandma about youngest and middle child left and she kinda was shaming her {middle child}a bit. I told her that I was behind her {my dd's decision} and I didn't want her to feel bad about it. She mentioned she should be old enough not to do that. I reminded her we all age emotionally different. But her rules she said would still be {and she would tell them up front} if they make the promise to stay they will stay. {we live right next door BTW.} She mentioned that it hurts her a bit when they do it. I reminded again children see things in a different way because they haven't completely developed. But I do see it as her house her rules. And in the end if they go it will be their choice {because I will be sure they will know what to expect if they change their mind}. I am always here for them and they are always welcome. And she isn't trying to harm them, and i have to trust them to be able to make that choice. {at least the 7 and oldest that is almost 10} I would ask if the 3 year old wanted to leave, she should be able to because she isn't young enough to understand the consequence. They have gone on trips with her happily to the beach and though a bit homesick, they made it through and were happy they went. {this is my two oldest, my youngest hasn't done that yet, she is a bit more of a hand full and very much a mama's girl. <g>Make sense or does anyone have any other suggestions? Tracy

In a message dated 12/04/2003 23:59:31 Pacific Daylight Time,
sablehs@... writes:


> I remember being stuck someplace and not happy after the evening went on. I
> felt so out of control and never wanted my

Tracy, I can remember walking home at 2 am when I was 8 years old . I had
tried a sleep over at my friend's house down the block. I got homesick and
carried my sleeping bag and pillow home and rang the doorbell to get in. My 3
brothers and parents all answered the door. They were pretty mad at me, but I
was so relieved to be home that I endured it. Good for you for supporting
your kids. I still get very homesick when away.
Nancy in BC


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]


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nellebelle

I believe that a child who is encouraged to call home and/or be brought
home, from any where, any time, without any shaming or anger, will be likely
to do the same as a teenager if/when they end up in an uncomfortable
situation.

I want my kids to know that I mean it when I say they can call or come home
when ever they need to.

Mary Ellen

coyote's corner

I hadn't ever looked at it that way - but you are so on the money!!

Thanks,
Janis
----- Original Message -----
From: nellebelle
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, April 14, 2003 12:04 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Spending the night...


I believe that a child who is encouraged to call home and/or be brought
home, from any where, any time, without any shaming or anger, will be likely
to do the same as a teenager if/when they end up in an uncomfortable
situation.

I want my kids to know that I mean it when I say they can call or come home
when ever they need to.

Mary Ellen


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To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
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Shyrley

LOWRIEK@... wrote:

> In a message dated 12/04/2003 23:59:31 Pacific Daylight Time,
> sablehs@... writes:
>
> > I remember being stuck someplace and not happy after the evening went on. I
> > felt so out of control and never wanted my
>
> Tracy, I can remember walking home at 2 am when I was 8 years old . I had
> tried a sleep over at my friend's house down the block. I got homesick and
> carried my sleeping bag and pillow home and rang the doorbell to get in. My 3
> brothers and parents all answered the door. They were pretty mad at me, but I
> was so relieved to be home that I endured it. Good for you for supporting
> your kids. I still get very homesick when away.
> Nancy in BC
>

My 10 yo does. Several times I've gone to fetch her from a friends house at 2am.
I've always told my kids when they do a sleep-over that I will come fetch them at ANY time if they feel home-sick. Often that knowledge is enought o make them feel OK and be happy all night.

Shyrley


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