Have a Nice Day!

I'm re-introducing a topic that came up with a new name because I can't keep track of it in the other threads that are on the list right now.

The question goes something like this...

How do we handle it when our kids say they want to do something (like be a doctor or a vet, etc). but they aren't interested in the steps it takes to get there.

Kristen
****************************************************************

Today is even more important than tomorrow because "today" is a gift, and "tomorrow" might never come.

Today is where hope lives because today is when we can make things better than yesterday.

The only thing we can be sure of is today and life isn't worth living if it isn't lived in joy for as many moments of today as we can manage.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/7/03 7:52:08 PM, litlrooh@... writes:

<< I'm re-introducing a topic that came up with a new name because I can't
keep track of it in the other threads that are on the list right now.

The question goes something like this...

How do we handle it when our kids say they want to do something (like be a
doctor or a vet, etc). but they aren't interested in the steps it takes to
get there. >>

And;

In a message dated 4/7/03 2:52:53 PM, pamsoroosh@... writes:

<< just sounds like a bit of a frustrating day because you are worried
that she won't do what she needs to do to fulfill her own goals. That
isn't unusual. One thing you can learn here is all about all the
unusual ways kids do fulfill their goals and how,.....

Good topic for us to chew on. >>

By any chance, is there anyone here who's had that kind of issue in
unschooling, and now that child is in Med school (or whatever the case may
be)? Please do tell tell! Lara.........

Pamela Sorooshian

On Monday, April 7, 2003, at 12:49 PM, Have a Nice Day! wrote:

> How do we handle it when our kids say they want to do something (like
> be a doctor or a vet, etc). but they aren't interested in the steps
> it takes to get there.

One thing is to give them opportunities to back out. If they aren't
interested in the steps it takes to get there, they aren't all THAT
desirous of it. If they really want it badly, it would be hard to stop
them.

Iranians have a saying about the bowl being hotter than the soup....
this is applicable when the parent is more committed to a kid's
supposed dream than the kid is.

-pam

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/7/03 3:15:26 PM, pamsoroosh@... writes:

<< > How do we handle it when our kids say they want to do something (like
> be a doctor or a vet, etc). but they aren't interested in the steps
> it takes to get there.
>>

It's likely that a parental vision of "the steps it takes to get there" is
likely to look quite a bit like school.

Kirby has said "lawyer" lately. You know what the preparation is for that?
Nothing special.

He writes, reads, and plays games. He teaches games. He works in a store,
where there are all kinds of rules and procedures he has to follow and also
enforce.

That is preparation.

And if he changes his mind, the preparation won't have hurt him any.

If a parent tells a child that they can't be a veterinarian unless they start
studying anatomy or chemistry now, the parent will be lying. So parents can
probably kill a desire to pursue a dream much more effectively than they can
enhance it.

Sandra

Have a Nice Day!

Thanks...you're probably right.

I like his preparation for being a lawyer :o). sounds like fun.



Kristen

----- Original Message -----
From: SandraDodd@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, April 07, 2003 8:13 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Setting and reaching goals?



In a message dated 4/7/03 3:15:26 PM, pamsoroosh@... writes:

<< > How do we handle it when our kids say they want to do something (like
> be a doctor or a vet, etc). but they aren't interested in the steps
> it takes to get there.
>>

It's likely that a parental vision of "the steps it takes to get there" is
likely to look quite a bit like school.

Kirby has said "lawyer" lately. You know what the preparation is for that?
Nothing special.

He writes, reads, and plays games. He teaches games. He works in a store,
where there are all kinds of rules and procedures he has to follow and also
enforce.

That is preparation.

And if he changes his mind, the preparation won't have hurt him any.

If a parent tells a child that they can't be a veterinarian unless they start
studying anatomy or chemistry now, the parent will be lying. So parents can
probably kill a desire to pursue a dream much more effectively than they can
enhance it.

Sandra


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Have a Nice Day!

Wanted to add too, that I'm not a lawyer, and never really set out to be (even though my mother always told me I should because I liked to argue so much!!). But I *am* an activist and got very involved with the law effort here in PA for awhile. I learned to read and write all that mumbo jumbo they call a "bill".

And I never had any formal preparation for that other than my big interest in changing things here.

I thought about going on to school to be a constitutional lawyer later. But for now, I'm happy with what I'm doing.

Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: Have a Nice Day!
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, April 07, 2003 10:13 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Setting and reaching goals?


Thanks...you're probably right.

I like his preparation for being a lawyer :o). sounds like fun.



Kristen

----- Original Message -----
From: SandraDodd@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, April 07, 2003 8:13 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Setting and reaching goals?



In a message dated 4/7/03 3:15:26 PM, pamsoroosh@... writes:

<< > How do we handle it when our kids say they want to do something (like
> be a doctor or a vet, etc). but they aren't interested in the steps
> it takes to get there.
>>

It's likely that a parental vision of "the steps it takes to get there" is
likely to look quite a bit like school.

Kirby has said "lawyer" lately. You know what the preparation is for that?
Nothing special.

He writes, reads, and plays games. He teaches games. He works in a store,
where there are all kinds of rules and procedures he has to follow and also
enforce.

That is preparation.

And if he changes his mind, the preparation won't have hurt him any.

If a parent tells a child that they can't be a veterinarian unless they start
studying anatomy or chemistry now, the parent will be lying. So parents can
probably kill a desire to pursue a dream much more effectively than they can
enhance it.

Sandra


Yahoo! Groups Sponsor



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Backstrom kelli

This topic is so interesting to me because it was not really until my second year of graduate school that it struck me that I knew nothing! Like, light dawned on marble head and as I prepared to entire the "professional" life I realized like you find out that there is no Santa... there is no education in school:( It was a sad day and a new beginning. Peace, Kelli
Have a Nice Day! <litlrooh@...> wrote:Wanted to add too, that I'm not a lawyer, and never really set out to be (even though my mother always told me I should because I liked to argue so much!!). But I *am* an activist and got very involved with the law effort here in PA for awhile. I learned to read and write all that mumbo jumbo they call a "bill".

And I never had any formal preparation for that other than my big interest in changing things here.

I thought about going on to school to be a constitutional lawyer later. But for now, I'm happy with what I'm doing.

Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: Have a Nice Day!
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, April 07, 2003 10:13 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Setting and reaching goals?


Thanks...you're probably right.

I like his preparation for being a lawyer :o). sounds like fun.



Kristen

----- Original Message -----
From: SandraDodd@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, April 07, 2003 8:13 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Setting and reaching goals?



In a message dated 4/7/03 3:15:26 PM, pamsoroosh@... writes:

<< > How do we handle it when our kids say they want to do something (like
> be a doctor or a vet, etc). but they aren't interested in the steps
> it takes to get there.
>>

It's likely that a parental vision of "the steps it takes to get there" is
likely to look quite a bit like school.

Kirby has said "lawyer" lately. You know what the preparation is for that?
Nothing special.

He writes, reads, and plays games. He teaches games. He works in a store,
where there are all kinds of rules and procedures he has to follow and also
enforce.

That is preparation.

And if he changes his mind, the preparation won't have hurt him any.

If a parent tells a child that they can't be a veterinarian unless they start
studying anatomy or chemistry now, the parent will be lying. So parents can
probably kill a desire to pursue a dream much more effectively than they can
enhance it.

Sandra


Yahoo! Groups Sponsor



~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~

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~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~

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~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Backstrom kelli

This topic is so interesting to me because it was not really until my second year of graduate school that it struck me that I knew nothing! Like, light dawned on marble head and as I prepared to entire the "professional" life I realized like you find out that there is no Santa... there is no education in school:( It was a sad day and a new beginning. Peace, Kelli
Have a Nice Day! <litlrooh@...> wrote:Wanted to add too, that I'm not a lawyer, and never really set out to be (even though my mother always told me I should because I liked to argue so much!!). But I *am* an activist and got very involved with the law effort here in PA for awhile. I learned to read and write all that mumbo jumbo they call a "bill".

And I never had any formal preparation for that other than my big interest in changing things here.

I thought about going on to school to be a constitutional lawyer later. But for now, I'm happy with what I'm doing.

Kristen
----- Original Message -----
From: Have a Nice Day!
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, April 07, 2003 10:13 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Setting and reaching goals?


Thanks...you're probably right.

I like his preparation for being a lawyer :o). sounds like fun.



Kristen

----- Original Message -----
From: SandraDodd@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, April 07, 2003 8:13 PM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] Setting and reaching goals?



In a message dated 4/7/03 3:15:26 PM, pamsoroosh@... writes:

<< > How do we handle it when our kids say they want to do something (like
> be a doctor or a vet, etc). but they aren't interested in the steps
> it takes to get there.
>>

It's likely that a parental vision of "the steps it takes to get there" is
likely to look quite a bit like school.

Kirby has said "lawyer" lately. You know what the preparation is for that?
Nothing special.

He writes, reads, and plays games. He teaches games. He works in a store,
where there are all kinds of rules and procedures he has to follow and also
enforce.

That is preparation.

And if he changes his mind, the preparation won't have hurt him any.

If a parent tells a child that they can't be a veterinarian unless they start
studying anatomy or chemistry now, the parent will be lying. So parents can
probably kill a desire to pursue a dream much more effectively than they can
enhance it.

Sandra


Yahoo! Groups Sponsor



~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~

If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).

To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an email to:
[email protected]

Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]


Yahoo! Groups Sponsor



~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~

If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).

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Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~

If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).

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Kelly Lenhart

One of the smartest things I think I did in college was how I handled my
"requirements." I had NO idea what I wanted to be. So I took any class,
for the first two years, so long as it interested me and would fit one of
those undergrad basics. When I had all the basics filled in I went back and
looked at the kinds of classes I had taken.

I was about 2/3's of the way to a English Lit degree with a Anthro minor,
without even trying. Just by taking what *I* wanted to take.

It really taught me that by looking at what I'm actually DOING and not what
I am planning, I can get a clearer idea of where I'm headed.

(Oh, and given the previous day's discussion--ANYONE can feel free to slap
me for that last sentence. -grin-)

Kelly

Tia Leschke

> One of the smartest things I think I did in college was how I handled my
> "requirements." I had NO idea what I wanted to be. So I took any class,
> for the first two years, so long as it interested me and would fit one of
> those undergrad basics. When I had all the basics filled in I went back
and
> looked at the kinds of classes I had taken.
>
> I was about 2/3's of the way to a English Lit degree with a Anthro minor,
> without even trying. Just by taking what *I* wanted to take.
>
> It really taught me that by looking at what I'm actually DOING and not
what
> I am planning, I can get a clearer idea of where I'm headed.
>
> (Oh, and given the previous day's discussion--ANYONE can feel free to slap
> me for that last sentence. -grin-)

Why? I think that's a cool way to decide a major. I did something similar.
I went to a community college and took any class that interested me. I'd
start with a full load and then drop any that didn't interest me. I
happened to take a music theory course and loved it. I decided I wanted to
major in music. I did that for a while, even transferring to a 4 year
college before deciding it wasn't for me after all. I wasn't good enough
for performance and didn't want to be a school music teacher or a
musicologist. So I quit moved to Canada. <g>
Tia

Robin Clevenger

In a message dated 4/7/03 3:15:26 PM, pamsoroosh@... writes:

<< > How do we handle it when our kids say they want to do something (like
> be a doctor or a vet, etc). but they aren't interested in the steps
> it takes to get there.
>>

Like so much of unschooling, for me it boils down to trust and faith. Trust
that if they really want to do it, they'll find a way, in their own time and
at their own pace. Faith that it's never too late to learn what you need to
in order to do what you're passionate about. Grandma Moses didn't start
painting until after her children were grown. Agatha Christie wanted a
career in music, then was a nurse, then finished her first novel at age 30.
Julia Child had a degree in history, worked for the British spy service in
WWII, got married and was such a terrible domestic cook that she took
cooking lessons, and in her late 40's became a famous chef. The list goes on
and on.
If someone is *really* interested in doing something, and if no-one blocks
that interest or causes it to be pushed aside due to aggravation and
nagging, they will find a way to make that interest happen. The best thing
we can do is to make sure our kids know that they're valued no matter what
and to pursue our own passions in life with joy. And remember that very few
of us end up doing what we thought we would when we were 10, or 15, or 20...
and that's okay! Some passions are not evident until other things fall into
place. "What you want to be in life" can change and flow and evolve and be a
joyous voyage of discovery.

Blue Skies!
-Robin-

Tia Leschke

> Like so much of unschooling, for me it boils down to trust and faith.
Trust
> that if they really want to do it, they'll find a way, in their own time
and
> at their own pace. Faith that it's never too late to learn what you need
to
> in order to do what you're passionate about. Grandma Moses didn't start
> painting until after her children were grown. Agatha Christie wanted a
> career in music, then was a nurse, then finished her first novel at age
30.
> Julia Child had a degree in history, worked for the British spy service in
> WWII, got married and was such a terrible domestic cook that she took
> cooking lessons, and in her late 40's became a famous chef. The list goes
on
> and on.

And John Holt started playing the cello at 50.
Tia

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary
saftety deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin
leschke@...