[email protected]

In a message dated 4/4/2003 1:29:41 PM Eastern Standard Time,
pamsoroosh@... writes:


> Gee, maybe
> it is 13 years of schooling in which the only way to be content and
> happy was to NOT strain against the many rules and to accept it that
> much of life means not having any choices. Most people seem to have
> gotten that message loud and clear - what is really interesting is that
> some of us did not.

Yeah. What's with that? What is it about US that made us question? After all,
we all went through school too! We got the same "education" as the guy
sitting next to us in school. What IS it?

~Kelly


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Sunshyne Powell

Okay, I'll bite. I've only been here for a few days, but I think I have
an answer for this one. It's personal, but I think many of us have
chosen homeschooling for personal reasons, besides the benefits to our
children.

I grew up in the military. For those of you who also did this, you may
know what I'm talking about. We moved every 2-3 years. I changed
schools every 2-3 years. Every 2-3 years I was either ahead of my class
or behind, on top of the fact that I was "ahead" of most kids my own
age. There is no universal list of what must be taught in what grade
level; states must make this choice for themselves, within guidelines.
So, after struggling through multiplication, division and cursive
writing in the third grade in Florida I move to Hawaii where
multiplication and division were taught in 2nd grade, while cursive was
mastered in the fifth. What was fourth grade about? mostly Hawaiian
history, where every native to the state had a distinct advantage over
me.

I gave up. Well, okay, I gave up in the third grade. Something told me
it just wasn't going to get any easier to deal with, and it didn't. Why
would I want to put my own child through that? I had a deep enjoyment
of learning for it's own sake until I became part of the periphery of
the class. I was no longer the child being taught to - instead I was
either the one soaring ahead (and being ignored by the teacher), or the
one falling behind (and getting in trouble for being so slow).

The system sucks. I've always questioned the wisdom of teaching to the
average child and leaving the others to fend for themselves. Aren't all
children deserving of an education equally? In going through it myself I
learned how to "learn" on my own, and I'm better for it. I'm still
learning to this day. In school you aren't taught how to learn, you are
taught how to memorize and repeat. You are trained to be a parrot.
Well, this Polly doesn't like crackers...lol

Sorry if that turned into a bit of a rant, but it's an issue I'm still
dealing with at times. Now with my first child getting ready for school
soon (he's 4), education is an issue that is becoming a focus of
discussion between my hubbie and I.

Sunny

-----Original Message-----
From: kbcdlovejo@...
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] What IS it?


In a message dated 4/4/2003 1:29:41 PM Eastern Standard Time,
pamsoroosh@... writes:


> Gee, maybe
> it is 13 years of schooling in which the only way to be content and
> happy was to NOT strain against the many rules and to accept it that
> much of life means not having any choices. Most people seem to have
> gotten that message loud and clear - what is really interesting is
that
> some of us did not.

Yeah. What's with that? What is it about US that made us question? After
all,
we all went through school too! We got the same "education" as the guy
sitting next to us in school. What IS it?

~Kelly



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/4/03 4:46:14 PM Eastern Standard Time,
kbcdlovejo@... writes:

> Yeah. What's with that? What is it about US that made us question? After
> all,
> we all went through school too! We got the same "education" as the guy
> sitting next to us in school. What IS it?
>
>

With me, it was my daughter. I couldn't understand why she didn't just go to
school and perform like I did. She is very bright, so was I (I was in the
gifted classes in grade school, BS'd my way through high school, didn't
maintain a good GPA but scored very well on the ACT, just four points lower
than our class valedictorian), so why would she not do what was expected?
Now I thank God a lot for making her unique and special, for making me
question why she was failing (soon discovering it wasn't her that was
failing, I had it backwards), what options we had, and finally finding
unschooling, which made so much damn sense it was ridiculous.

It has made me discover that I didn't know who I was outside of being
teacher's pet. It made me see why I got burnt out on schooling once I hit
puberty. Why my dream since I was 12 to be an architect was malarkey. Why
after graduation from high school I slept in the air-conditioned basement at
my house for a week straight, and was not in a hurry to move away to college,
even though my roommate was eagerly awaiting me. Why dropping out of pre-arch
after the first year was not such a failure. Why my intelligence and sense of
self is not based on grades and academic pursuits. And why someday if I go
back to school when the kids are grown, I can be and do anything!

Ang
Unschooling mom to
Megan(10) Ashlyn(3) Christian(1.5)
<A HREF="http://hometown.aol.com/unolist/index.html">UNO Unschoolers Network of Ohio</A>
<A HREF="http://members.aol.com/megamom08/page1.html">My Links Page MEGAMOM08</A>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Kelly Lenhart

>Yeah. What's with that? What is it about US that made us question? After
all,
>we all went through school too! We got the same "education" as the guy
>sitting next to us in school. What IS it?
>~Kelly

I know that for me by middle school I had "figured it out." "It" being just
how much work it took to get the grade I wanted. And I realized that I
didn't care about doing the work for an A if it didn't mean I would gain any
more knowledge. The work and the learning did not coincide.

That was also when I realized that the adults in whose charge I was were: a)
human b) not always terrible nice humans. I saw some nasty gender and race
politics going on. What was it that made me a good girl and my dear friend a
troubled boy? Uhm, the teacher's perspective.

All through high school, and college, I would have teachers respond to my
lack of homework or whatever with "But, but, you'll only get a C." Uhm,
yeah, you said that in the begining. I know it. Just don't care, 'cause C
is passing, right? My step-mom once said my high school was awful. I
defended it quickly--actually, I think it was great. I learned a lot; had
some amazing teachers; had a safe social environment for the first time in
my life. I just wasn't doing what I "needed" to. My choice in almost all
cases.

I've also watched my gifted, loving son by branded as troubled and violent
because the preschool he was in valued quiet little girls instead of active
boys. They made us psych evaluate him. (The psych said "THere's nothing
wrong with him, you just need to get him somewhere ELSE!) When it started
to happen again in first grade, we became homeschoolers. On any given day I
may wish he was quiet and demure, but at least I know that's MY
roblem. -grin-

A different,
Kelly

Robin Clevenger

>Yeah. What's with that? What is it about US that made us question? After
all,
>we all went through school too! We got the same "education" as the guy
>sitting next to us in school. What IS it?

I know for me, it was probably my parents. They encouraged me to think for
myself. I was reading very early and I had full access to their entire
bookshelf. I read it all. From Richard Bach's "Illusions" to "The Battle of
Midway" to "I'm Okay You're Okay" to the latest Robert Ludlum thrillers. Of
course, when it came to school, they had expectations that I would excel,
and I did. But by that time I was already questioning everything. I knew
before having kids that they would never go to school.
DH was the opposite, school was a nightmare for him, and his parents weren't
terribly supportive. But he also has some inborn rebel in him that questions
everything and a huge drive to do things on his own. He got his pilot's
license at the age of 17, when everyone around him said he couldn't (and
isn't it an amazing validation of unschooling that a kid who was "failing"
in school, was able to pass easily the very rigorous written, verbal, and
skill exams for a pilot's license). For both of us, unschooling was what
seemed right from the start.

Blue Skies!
-Robin-

Tia Leschke

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary
saftety deserve neither liberty nor safety." Ben Franklin
leschke@...
>
> I know that for me by middle school I had "figured it out." "It" being
just
> how much work it took to get the grade I wanted. And I realized that I
> didn't care about doing the work for an A if it didn't mean I would gain
any
> more knowledge. The work and the learning did not coincide.
>
> That was also when I realized that the adults in whose charge I was were:
a)
> human b) not always terrible nice humans. I saw some nasty gender and
race
> politics going on. What was it that made me a good girl and my dear friend
a
> troubled boy? Uhm, the teacher's perspective.
>
> All through high school, and college, I would have teachers respond to my
> lack of homework or whatever with "But, but, you'll only get a C." Uhm,
> yeah, you said that in the begining. I know it. Just don't care, 'cause
C
> is passing, right? My step-mom once said my high school was awful. I
> defended it quickly--actually, I think it was great. I learned a lot; had
> some amazing teachers; had a safe social environment for the first time in
> my life. I just wasn't doing what I "needed" to. My choice in almost all
> cases.

I read Summerhill in grade 9. That was the beginning of the end for me. I
muddled on through grade 10, then decided I really wanted out of there. At
first, I was going to graduate as early as was allowed, which would have
been after half of grade 11. Then I decided I wanted out with as little
work as possible. I wanted to graduate with all Ds, which were passing then
anyway.

My mother ferreted out my plan and decided that it sucked. <g> What I
really wanted was to just get out and start unschooling, though I had no
word for it. She went through a long runaround between the principal, the
superintendent, and the school board, and finally back to the principal, who
said he could get me out on a "mentally unfit for the classroom" excuse.
(At least in those days, in California, you couldn't just drop out at 16.
You had to go to continuation school for 4 hours a week if you were working,
4 hours a day if you weren't. Lovely, they'd shave 2 hours off my day if I
dropped out.) Anyway, I unschooled for a couple of years and then went to a
community college. I loved it, dropped any class that turned out to not
interest me, and kept a B+ average.
Tia

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/5/03 9:38:45 AM, leschke@... writes:

<< finally back to the principal, who

said he could get me out on a "mentally unfit for the classroom" excuse. >>

HOW COOL!!!!

What a great phrase.

I just left early and went to college early. Several birds with one barrage
of stones.

My parents split up during that first year I was gone. That was rough.
Probably not as rough as if I had been home for all the unfolding instead of
just getting weekly updates, though. But I had no home to come home to, by
the Spring of my freshman year. That was unexpected.

Sandra

Mary

I've been thinking about this one, for myself mostly. Not sure when IT really started. I always did well in school. But I remember grade school being tough as I was shy and quiet and just didn't fit in mostly. 6-8 grade I went to a private catholic academy. The first year I was one of 4 girls and 21 boys in the class. Real nice for puberty. (not) Once more girls came in the following years, I seemed to be left out again. High school, which was also private seemed pretty much the same way. Just didn't fit in to all that catty gossipy I need a boyfriend girl stuff. So I finally stopped trying to join and became the strange one. Did yoga in my homeroom every morning while everyone else was screaming around like nuts. School was always easy without me putting forth much effort. The teachers were just as drawn into the whole popularity thing as the kids were. Thought they were stupid too and I pretty much rebelled from doing anything I didn't have to do. I was the only person in the Natiuonal Honor Society that didn't have to do a speech and ask to be a member. Didn't think it was worth my time but they put me in anyway because of my grades. Graduated top ten and thought it was no big deal. Could have done better if I wanted to. But it was just wonderful for everyone else and that was fine with me.

I desperately wanted to go to school to be a vet. My dad was on the athletic association of a college back home and he talked to some professors who talked to me and pretty much squelched my dreams. Seems at that time it was pretty much all politics as to who got in to vet school, regardless of grades. Blew my bubble. I moved to FL and went to a paramedical school and got a degree in medical/veterinary assisting. Partied hard and still made the grades. The jobs sucked and I ended up slinging drinks instead. Never went back to the medical field until years and years later.

So I guess I was setting myself up all along for not seeing school as important. I remember years ago hearing about some strange family living in the mountains who's kids didn't go to school. Thought it was neat but at that time I also thought it was illegal. (it was the Colfaxes) Remembered that years later when I read one of their books.

Didn't have much of a say so about Tara's upbringing. She went to a "good" catholic private school. She was shy and although smart, had a rough time. Didn't know I had other options. Read about homeschooling in our local paper around the time Joseph was born. Joe and I had been to Tara's school so much by now because of how the teachers behaved, I knew this was something I really wanted to do. Joe was in total agreement. With a child in a "good" school, how could we not see the harm? We saw it everyday. We signed up in a local homeschooling support group when Joseph was 2 and Sierra was 1. One of the first women I met from my area was an unschooler. In all sense of the word. Joe and I never thought twice. We just knew this was it. We've never had any doubts since then that this is the right way to go and that it won't work.

Sometimes I wonder if my schooling experience was better if I would have felt the same way?

Mary B


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]