Kid conflicts
[email protected]
Read all you can from Faber and Mazlish. I especially like Liberated Parents/Liberated Children. It goed deep into our own parental burnout. We were fortunate to have an 8 week workshop diving into these books. The most important thing I got out of it was.
1. Know my needs. Order, peace, respect...
2. Speak my needs. I need help getting dinner on the table. I get frustrated putting dinner on the table alone. I want company while preparing dinner. The kids have gotten it. My need.
3. We are works in progress
4. Being kind feels good.
5. We all are in roles. Helping free our selves from roles is liberating.
Sandra has helped my family alot. Separate and safe is important sometimes when my kids are fighting alot.
My kids are 8.5, 6, 3. I can totally relate. I am constantly on edge waiting for the blow up. My hubby hung up on me today because he head on scream. No fun.
Mary H. who hears the scream right now.
1. Know my needs. Order, peace, respect...
2. Speak my needs. I need help getting dinner on the table. I get frustrated putting dinner on the table alone. I want company while preparing dinner. The kids have gotten it. My need.
3. We are works in progress
4. Being kind feels good.
5. We all are in roles. Helping free our selves from roles is liberating.
Sandra has helped my family alot. Separate and safe is important sometimes when my kids are fighting alot.
My kids are 8.5, 6, 3. I can totally relate. I am constantly on edge waiting for the blow up. My hubby hung up on me today because he head on scream. No fun.
Mary H. who hears the scream right now.
averyschmidt
> 1. Know my needs. Order, peace, respect...I think those are my *only* three needs. Peace and respect between
family members are crucial for me to feel happy. Order is kind of
like icing on the cake...
> My kids are 8.5, 6, 3. I can totally relate. I am constantly onI'm glad to know I'm not the only one. :-)
>edge waiting for the blow up. My hubby hung up on me today because
>he head on scream. No fun.
Patti
[email protected]
In a message dated 4/2/03 5:21:41 PM, maryfhickman@... writes:
<< Sandra has helped my family alot. Separate and safe is important sometimes
when my kids are fighting alot. >>
Thanks!
You're welcome, and thanks for writing that.
Sandra
<< Sandra has helped my family alot. Separate and safe is important sometimes
when my kids are fighting alot. >>
Thanks!
You're welcome, and thanks for writing that.
Sandra
[email protected]
Patti,
Your stories are flooding me with memories in my home. My oldest did opt for school this year. She is doing very well. I see her gathering experiences just like an unschooler would. She may or may not go back next year. She said she may be a skipping stone. Going to school some years, staying home others.
My kids fighting did not change, however, other than it was saved for afternoons and evenings. Just as intense. My reaction just as lousy much of the time. We talk alot about treating everyone respectfully, with examples. I spend a lot of time sharing moments I see them getting along.
My oldest complains a ton when having to go to sibling activities. I often find safe places for her so we can go with out her mood. I also add an activity she will like or bring along a friend for her.
Are days are more sunny lately. I'm not sure why. Most likely I'm getting my own needs met and am more available to them. More present in the moment. I also stopped doing other stuff when I hear the beginning of blow-ups. I stop, wait near by, suggest alternatives if they are open. I am there, though. So they can talk through what is going on and get past the block and back into enjoying eachother.
Mary H.
Your stories are flooding me with memories in my home. My oldest did opt for school this year. She is doing very well. I see her gathering experiences just like an unschooler would. She may or may not go back next year. She said she may be a skipping stone. Going to school some years, staying home others.
My kids fighting did not change, however, other than it was saved for afternoons and evenings. Just as intense. My reaction just as lousy much of the time. We talk alot about treating everyone respectfully, with examples. I spend a lot of time sharing moments I see them getting along.
My oldest complains a ton when having to go to sibling activities. I often find safe places for her so we can go with out her mood. I also add an activity she will like or bring along a friend for her.
Are days are more sunny lately. I'm not sure why. Most likely I'm getting my own needs met and am more available to them. More present in the moment. I also stopped doing other stuff when I hear the beginning of blow-ups. I stop, wait near by, suggest alternatives if they are open. I am there, though. So they can talk through what is going on and get past the block and back into enjoying eachother.
Mary H.