John O. Andersen

We Want Our Children to Be Suckers!


Yes. That's right. We hope our children become real suckers. And we also
want them to be suck-sessful adults.

We derived our non-traditional definition of sucker from Henry David Thoreau
's words in his classic Walden. He wrote that he "...went to the woods to
live deliberately...to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life."

A sucker single-mindedly goes after that marrow. A sucker hungers for
knowledge. A sucker notes the changes of seasons, the migration of birds,
the budding of flowers, the artistry of the morning dew. A sucker is as
comfortable with the technology of the present as the wisdom of the ages. A
sucker is deeply moved in the face of human triumph or tragedy. A sucker is
all there, fully awake, completely embracing all that life has to offer.

Sound like a worthy goal for children? We think so. Here are three steps
to help children learn to be suckers:


Be a sucker yourself

Model a passion for learning. Be open-minded. Try new things all of the
time. Focus on stockpiling experiences rather than material objects.
Travel slowly, stopping and lingering along the way. Chat with the people
you meet. Savor your food. Don't jump to conclusions. Pick the minds of
people who know the ropes. Enjoy sunrises and sunsets. Become adept at
looking through telescopes, microscopes, and just under your nose. When
your children see how much fun you're having, nothing will stop them from
joining in.


Give children time and space

Overscheduling our children's lives may make them into "successes" in the
eyes of the world, but it won't help them to be suckers. For that you've got
to leave them alone. Let them build their play forts, play their street
games, and experiment in the kitchen. Encourage creativity. Expose them to
the very best in life and let them choose what they want. Give them the
tinder and matches, but let them light their own fires of passion. The
ability to suck the marrow out of life comes slowly over many years. So don
't expect immediate, quantifiable results.


Seek inspiration from other suckers

Mandy and I place our faith in the premise that "a sucker is born every
minute." We believe that everyone can be a sucker, but too many get lured
away from that. They may be led to believe that happiness has to do with
money, status, or position. Far too often those pursuits engulf lives, and
distract would-be suckers from the path.

On a positive note, you can find real suckers everywhere. They are the ones
who are involved and active. They are multi-faceted people, always
learning, always growing, always changing. Such people need to be your
lifelines. You can also read about great suckers in history; people who did
extraordinary things, who were committed to living each day to the fullest.


The lifelong quest

Suck-sess has to do with cutting through the veneer of life and getting at
its essence. It has to do with throwing out agendas and living
spontaneously. It's about bringing our exterior world in harmony with our
interior. It's about reducing our baggage. It's about getting wrapped up
in the ecstasy of the moment rather than postponing happiness for a later
date.

In a nutshell, suck-sess is the nectar of life. That's why we're so intent
on teaching our children how to be real suckers.



John Andersen is a professional "rug sucker" (carpet cleaner) in Portland,
Oregon. He writes, travels, assists his wife Mandy with the homeschooling
of their two children, and volunteers as a tour guide on a submarine at the
Oregon Museum of Science and Industry.

Copyright � 2000 John O. Andersen. All rights reserved.

For more essays along this line of thinking, go to:
http://www.spiritone.com/~andersen

[email protected]

John,,,,
that was great,,,a wonderful twist on 'sucker', and very true to what a 'true
sucker' is--one who puts the emphasis on what can i get out of this
experience, but not in a superficial way,,or in a me thing,,,,but in a very
deep need to know for the sake of knowing and nothing else kind of way. I
loved it. Thanks for touching that part.

Jennifer in calif

John O. Andersen

Jennifer,

Thanks for the message. Glad you enjoyed the article.

John Andersen

----- Original Message -----
From: <JENNIFE30@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Sunday, February 06, 2000 1:50 AM
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] We Want Our Children to Be Suckers!


> From: JENNIFE30@...
>
> John,,,,
> that was great,,,a wonderful twist on 'sucker', and very true to what a
'true
> sucker' is--one who puts the emphasis on what can i get out of this
> experience, but not in a superficial way,,or in a me thing,,,,but in a
very
> deep need to know for the sake of knowing and nothing else kind of way. I
> loved it. Thanks for touching that part.
>
> Jennifer in calif
>
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