Still need help
[email protected]
In a message dated 3/18/03 8:49:03 AM Central Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
<< Her behavior is really disrupting the rest of the house. >>
While I understand the frustration of a child that changes their mind
frequently, and doesn't have the capability to explain herself (My Sierra is
very much that way) the worse thing you can do is try to make her talk about
it.
She'll tell you later, if she trusts that you won't push or make a big deal.
In our house, showers are completely up to each individual, it's a fun time
for the little ones, not required.
Usually, they want to get in with me...that's how I get them clean. But if
Jalen (only 2 years old) says no to a bath or shower, I don't make him..ever.
If he's really, really dirty and absolutely must be cleaned off, I do a quick
wipe down.
Children don't need baths every day.
They don't even need them every other day (and I have kids that enjoy a creek
and muddy woods in the back yard) to grow up healthy and happy.
If bath time is a fun treat, it's usually easy enought to get a child
interested. Those colorful, fizzy tablets have been a hit around here!
BUT, if a child is playing and wants to keep goofing off, bath time should
take a back seat to that.
Flexibility is a huge part of joyful unschooling.
If you try to make a child do something, rather than invite them to do
something, you're setting yourself up for a battle of the wills. And my
Sierra shuts down if you push also. So don't. I know it's hard, sometimes our
desire to have the child just do what we say takes over...but it's still
wrong, and a mindfullness about the why's of our own behavior will help a lot.
I know my own lack of control as a child makes me act in controlling ways
sometimes. It's the fear of not having control that we are really
feeling...it comes out as anger, but it's usually fear masked.
Ren
"The sun is shining--the sun is shining. That is the magic. The flowers are
growing--the roots are stirring. That is the magic. Being alive is the
magic--being strong is the magic The magic is in me--the magic is in
me....It's in every one of us."
----Frances Hodgson Burnett
[email protected] writes:
<< Her behavior is really disrupting the rest of the house. >>
While I understand the frustration of a child that changes their mind
frequently, and doesn't have the capability to explain herself (My Sierra is
very much that way) the worse thing you can do is try to make her talk about
it.
She'll tell you later, if she trusts that you won't push or make a big deal.
In our house, showers are completely up to each individual, it's a fun time
for the little ones, not required.
Usually, they want to get in with me...that's how I get them clean. But if
Jalen (only 2 years old) says no to a bath or shower, I don't make him..ever.
If he's really, really dirty and absolutely must be cleaned off, I do a quick
wipe down.
Children don't need baths every day.
They don't even need them every other day (and I have kids that enjoy a creek
and muddy woods in the back yard) to grow up healthy and happy.
If bath time is a fun treat, it's usually easy enought to get a child
interested. Those colorful, fizzy tablets have been a hit around here!
BUT, if a child is playing and wants to keep goofing off, bath time should
take a back seat to that.
Flexibility is a huge part of joyful unschooling.
If you try to make a child do something, rather than invite them to do
something, you're setting yourself up for a battle of the wills. And my
Sierra shuts down if you push also. So don't. I know it's hard, sometimes our
desire to have the child just do what we say takes over...but it's still
wrong, and a mindfullness about the why's of our own behavior will help a lot.
I know my own lack of control as a child makes me act in controlling ways
sometimes. It's the fear of not having control that we are really
feeling...it comes out as anger, but it's usually fear masked.
Ren
"The sun is shining--the sun is shining. That is the magic. The flowers are
growing--the roots are stirring. That is the magic. Being alive is the
magic--being strong is the magic The magic is in me--the magic is in
me....It's in every one of us."
----Frances Hodgson Burnett
[email protected]
In a message dated 3/18/03 8:32:20 AM, starsuncloud@... writes:
<< In our house, showers are completely up to each individual, it's a fun
time
for the little ones, not required.
Usually, they want to get in with me...that's how I get them clean. But if
Jalen (only 2 years old) says no to a bath or shower, I don't make him..ever.
If he's really, really dirty and absolutely must be cleaned off, I do a quick
wipe down.
Children don't need baths every day. >>
Same here. Kirby hated baths, and we would say "Do you want to wash your toy
dishes?" or "Do you want to play with the toy boats?" and get him naked and
wet that way. But as a sixteen year old who isn't made to take showers, he
takes a shower every day. Once in a while, maybe every month, he might go a
day without, if he has no work, noplace to go and isn't feeling very good.
But if he has work or karate or anything planned, he just gets in the shower.
Holly pretty much takes a shower or a bath every day, partly for
hair-grooming purposes.
Marty is more like an every two or three days guy, but I've very rarely said,
"Really, you need to take a shower" over the years, and here they are doing
it because they want to.
Without the option, they can't possibly want to do it, or do it because they
want to either one.
Sandra
<< In our house, showers are completely up to each individual, it's a fun
time
for the little ones, not required.
Usually, they want to get in with me...that's how I get them clean. But if
Jalen (only 2 years old) says no to a bath or shower, I don't make him..ever.
If he's really, really dirty and absolutely must be cleaned off, I do a quick
wipe down.
Children don't need baths every day. >>
Same here. Kirby hated baths, and we would say "Do you want to wash your toy
dishes?" or "Do you want to play with the toy boats?" and get him naked and
wet that way. But as a sixteen year old who isn't made to take showers, he
takes a shower every day. Once in a while, maybe every month, he might go a
day without, if he has no work, noplace to go and isn't feeling very good.
But if he has work or karate or anything planned, he just gets in the shower.
Holly pretty much takes a shower or a bath every day, partly for
hair-grooming purposes.
Marty is more like an every two or three days guy, but I've very rarely said,
"Really, you need to take a shower" over the years, and here they are doing
it because they want to.
Without the option, they can't possibly want to do it, or do it because they
want to either one.
Sandra