Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] parenting dilemmas/phrases/intro
[email protected]
In a message dated 3/12/03 10:45:14 PM, moonlightmama@... writes:
<< I wanted to comment on phrases, Kiele and I use this phrase often, " I
help you, you help me, things get done so easily" I think it's from Blue's
Clues. >>
There was a Sesame Street song we used to sing when we helped someone do
something like that. "We always help each other" was one of the line.
"Cause when we all do it, it all gets done" was the end of each verse. I
never learned all the words. We didn't care if we only knew bits of it.
We have a lot of stories here that involve a song, or singing, or lyrics, or
song parody. <g>
Sandra
<< I wanted to comment on phrases, Kiele and I use this phrase often, " I
help you, you help me, things get done so easily" I think it's from Blue's
Clues. >>
There was a Sesame Street song we used to sing when we helped someone do
something like that. "We always help each other" was one of the line.
"Cause when we all do it, it all gets done" was the end of each verse. I
never learned all the words. We didn't care if we only knew bits of it.
We have a lot of stories here that involve a song, or singing, or lyrics, or
song parody. <g>
Sandra
Heather
Hello all,
Well it's about time I introduce myself, I have been reading all of your posts and you have helped me tremendously to trust my children's natural desire to learn. I have a 4 year old and an 11 month old and have always known that I wanted to homeschool, and well I have stumbled upon unschooling in my research and I am glad that I have found it. It's what we have been doing all along and well it works so why stop a good thing. Anyway, I wanted to comment on phrases, Kiele and I use this phrase often, " I help you, you help me, things get done so easily" I think it's from Blue's Clues. It helps when she doesn't want to clean up her toys or we just say it when she has offered to help me with everyday chores. It's a nice way to get things done too!
Heather
Well it's about time I introduce myself, I have been reading all of your posts and you have helped me tremendously to trust my children's natural desire to learn. I have a 4 year old and an 11 month old and have always known that I wanted to homeschool, and well I have stumbled upon unschooling in my research and I am glad that I have found it. It's what we have been doing all along and well it works so why stop a good thing. Anyway, I wanted to comment on phrases, Kiele and I use this phrase often, " I help you, you help me, things get done so easily" I think it's from Blue's Clues. It helps when she doesn't want to clean up her toys or we just say it when she has offered to help me with everyday chores. It's a nice way to get things done too!
Heather
----- Original Message -----
From: Dawn Ackroyd
To: [email protected]
Sent: Wednesday, March 12, 2003 8:14 AM
Subject: RE: [Unschooling-dotcom] parenting dilemmas
One thing my MIL taught me is to make it more miserable for the kids
when they're doing something you don't want them to do. For example,
we've had trouble with scissors in our house this year with my daughter
and her cousin. It started when they cut off my daughter's long
beautiful hair. They also cut the cord on the blinds, and cut up a few
things in the house. In short order they were banned from scissors.
Recently they were doing a craft with our Japanese student, and they
were left with scissors, and alas, again cut something. This time our
futon chair cover. They are 4 and 5 years old - so they're certainly old
enough to know that this isn't a good choice. I got mad at them and then
I told them if they cannot make good choices when no one is watching
them, then they would have to be watched all the time. I made them stick
right by my side. When I was working on the computer they sat on the
floor beside me reading a book. Then I made them come downstairs to get
a load of laundry. We'd sit in the family room to fold it and I let them
watch TV while I did it - but I would purposefully get up right when
they were really getting into it and say, "Okay. Time to go into the
kitchen." Or wherever. They didn't dare complain because they knew the
gravity of what they had done and knew they didn't have any room for
negotiation. We only had to do this for about 3 hours until they begged
me to trust them again. So we did it for the next 3 hours in a little
more limited sense. The lesson stuck. We haven't had a problem with
scissors for a long time.
When my husband and his siblings weren't getting along my MIL would make
them hold hands or sit on chairs with their knees touching, until they
talked and solved whatever the problem was. I'm actually quite amazed at
how they get along in his family. They just were plain not allowed to be
unkind to each other. It doesn't mean that they didn't have
disagreements - but unkindness was not tolerated. I hope we can do that
in our family with our children as well.
Another thing that comes to my mind is to have a theme of the week or
day, or whatever seems appropriate. Have a phrase that you ask them to
say to you. For example, my daughter has one lately that she got from a
book that says, "I'll be happy all day if I obey." I'm surprised
actually how many times she comes back to the little quip. It wasn't
something I started - she got it out of a book - but she has really made
it stick in her mind and the process has made me think it might be
worthwhile to come up with some more of those in our home. Not sure what
they'll be yet. I'd like something right now that helps them remember to
clean up toys!! But that's an entirely different thread. :0)
Good for you for reaching out and asking for help. Some people just
figure kids fight and that's life. I don't think it has to be that way.
Dawn
-----Original Message-----
From: Heidi Wordhouse-Dykema [mailto:heidi@...]
Sent: Tuesday, March 11, 2003 5:58 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [Unschooling-dotcom] parenting dilemmas
This is a toughie and it's something we've worked on avoiding with our
own
kids. (and its' worked!) So, know that it IS possible to have kids who
don't torment each other. It's not something that you can just
plug-in-and-play, but is rather a paradigm shift in how you think about
relationships. I don't know you, and I don't know your kids, so I'm
just
going to throw stuff out there to be thought about.
Firstly, you've read and ingested and re-read Adelle Fabers' books,
right? The whole 'learn to talk so kids will listen' thing? It's
really
helped us out with learning how to talk with our kids and identifying
subtly aggressive behavior, which means we can deal with it.
Secondly, do some work on self-assertiveness for Yourself. I'm
wondering
if sometimes it's difficult for you to say when something is not feeling
right for you and sitting that child down to peacefully talk it over
with
them so you can understand WHY they want to write that their brother is
stupid and WHY they were trying to trick you into doing something you
didn't want to do (ie, write that the brother was stupid) and thereby
facilitating the other brother's being mean to the younger brother. I
mean, there's a Whole LOT of discussion that needs to go on about that
with
the child in question (and not in a mean way, but in a gently
inquisitive
way, to find out what they're thinking and how they got to think that
way.) Then you both/all need to talk about how it's making you, the
mommy,
feel.
I'd also suggest doing some work on family inter-dependence, that is,
emphasizing how one family member can be affected by another family
member
because of the love within the family and talking about it with great
concern for BOTH parties (because after all, if family won't stick up
for
or care for family, what's left?) If one child 'doesn't want to hear
it',
maybe say, "I am very sad when you hurt my family and I need to talk
with
you about it. Hurting your brother makes my heart cry. I'm tired of
being hurt and I need you to stop. I don't know how to stop feeling the
hurt. Will you help me?"
Do you think some of it is that the middle (and teasing) child is
looking
for more attention from you? If so, maybe make some dedicated time for
just Mom-and-middle-child, say 10 or 15 minutes solid when NOTHING will
pull you away from talking to him and playing with him, and doing
whatever
he wants to do. If another child needs you, tell them that you're with
this child now and you'll be there in a while. Ignore the phone.
Etc. Just you and he, every day, for a certain time (and this goes for
EACH of the children.)
As for the daughter, I'd have told the 3 year old that he didn't have to
go
inside, but that his sister was scared about being alone does he
remember
how it feels when he is scared? Well, he and mommy are going to help
her
be not so scared and if he didn't want to go inside, then he could stay
in
the car (with the windows cracked) but that you were going inside to
help
sister feel not so scared and would watch him from the window. Ask him
Does he want to bring a book or a toy for the car? Then I'd plop myself
in
the front window where I'd be with my daughter and could wave (and make
funny faces) to my son, out in the car. Maybe make it focus on taking
care
of (and relating to) someone else when they're feeling badly.
Which reminds me, we have a tradition of, "if you cause the pain, you
take
care of it 'tll it's gone." If I hurt someone, I need to stay with that
someone until they're okay again, and take care of them and get them ice
or
hugs or whatever they need to be okay again. This goes for physical as
well as emotional owies and it gives people a way to stop being the
'meanie' and become the 'caring person'. No Guilt. No
recriminations. Just taking care. You've got to help them do it
(sweetly)
the first few times, but later on, they'll generally move to do it on
their
own.
Good luck. There's so much more, but without knowing your kids, I'd be
whistling into the wind more than I am already!
HeidiWD
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Backstrom kelli
"Clean up, clean up everybody do your share, clean up, clean up everybody everywhere." Sticks in my head for the entire day but kids love it. Anyone out there watch the "Wiggles." They have some great funny songs! Kelli
SandraDodd@... wrote:
In a message dated 3/12/03 10:45:14 PM, moonlightmama@... writes:
<< I wanted to comment on phrases, Kiele and I use this phrase often, " I
help you, you help me, things get done so easily" I think it's from Blue's
Clues. >>
There was a Sesame Street song we used to sing when we helped someone do
something like that. "We always help each other" was one of the line.
"Cause when we all do it, it all gets done" was the end of each verse. I
never learned all the words. We didn't care if we only knew bits of it.
We have a lot of stories here that involve a song, or singing, or lyrics, or
song parody. <g>
Sandra
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SandraDodd@... wrote:
In a message dated 3/12/03 10:45:14 PM, moonlightmama@... writes:
<< I wanted to comment on phrases, Kiele and I use this phrase often, " I
help you, you help me, things get done so easily" I think it's from Blue's
Clues. >>
There was a Sesame Street song we used to sing when we helped someone do
something like that. "We always help each other" was one of the line.
"Cause when we all do it, it all gets done" was the end of each verse. I
never learned all the words. We didn't care if we only knew bits of it.
We have a lot of stories here that involve a song, or singing, or lyrics, or
song parody. <g>
Sandra
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Sorcha
Sometimes my son spontaneously bursts into singing the Bear in the Big
Blue House cleaning song, "Clean up the house (tidy it up, tidy it up)
clean up the house (tidy it up, tidy it up), Everybody clean up the
house". I find myself singing it even when I clean alone. And yes, we
watch Wiggles here too and I frequently start singing their songs. My
husband thinks I need to listen to some other music, but the Wiggles
actually grew on me (I thought they were creepy at first; now I love
them!).
Sorcha
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Blue House cleaning song, "Clean up the house (tidy it up, tidy it up)
clean up the house (tidy it up, tidy it up), Everybody clean up the
house". I find myself singing it even when I clean alone. And yes, we
watch Wiggles here too and I frequently start singing their songs. My
husband thinks I need to listen to some other music, but the Wiggles
actually grew on me (I thought they were creepy at first; now I love
them!).
Sorcha
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Backstrom kelli
I totally thought that they were very creepy until my two year old and husband continuously have had this on going singing dialogue of Wiggles songs. It has become their "thing". They get up early on Sat mornings (he lets me sleep in:) and they snuggles on the couch and watch the Wiggles and then for the rest of the week I hear, "Fruit salad... yummy yummy" or "Hot Potato, hot potato, cold spagetti, cold spagetti" and I am hooked! Kelli
Sorcha <sorcha-aisling@...> wrote:Sometimes my son spontaneously bursts into singing the Bear in the Big
Blue House cleaning song, "Clean up the house (tidy it up, tidy it up)
clean up the house (tidy it up, tidy it up), Everybody clean up the
house". I find myself singing it even when I clean alone. And yes, we
watch Wiggles here too and I frequently start singing their songs. My
husband thinks I need to listen to some other music, but the Wiggles
actually grew on me (I thought they were creepy at first; now I love
them!).
Sorcha
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sorcha <sorcha-aisling@...> wrote:Sometimes my son spontaneously bursts into singing the Bear in the Big
Blue House cleaning song, "Clean up the house (tidy it up, tidy it up)
clean up the house (tidy it up, tidy it up), Everybody clean up the
house". I find myself singing it even when I clean alone. And yes, we
watch Wiggles here too and I frequently start singing their songs. My
husband thinks I need to listen to some other music, but the Wiggles
actually grew on me (I thought they were creepy at first; now I love
them!).
Sorcha
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner, Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
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MARK and JULIE SOLICH
Did you know there once was a fifth wiggle? Wonder what ever happened to
him.
Julie
him.
Julie
----- Original Message -----
From: "Sorcha" <sorcha-aisling@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Thursday, March 13, 2003 11:19 PM
Subject: RE: [Unschooling-dotcom] parenting dilemmas/phrases/intro
> Sometimes my son spontaneously bursts into singing the Bear in the Big
> Blue House cleaning song, "Clean up the house (tidy it up, tidy it up)
> clean up the house (tidy it up, tidy it up), Everybody clean up the
> house". I find myself singing it even when I clean alone. And yes, we
> watch Wiggles here too and I frequently start singing their songs. My
> husband thinks I need to listen to some other music, but the Wiggles
> actually grew on me (I thought they were creepy at first; now I love
> them!).
>
> Sorcha
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
> ~~~~ Don't forget! If you change topics, change the subject line! ~~~~
>
> If you have questions, concerns or problems with this list, please email
the moderator, Joyce Fetteroll (fetteroll@...), or the list owner,
Helen Hegener (HEM-Editor@...).
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, click on the following link or address an
email to:
> [email protected]
>
> Visit the Unschooling website: http://www.unschooling.com
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
>
>
[email protected]
In a message dated 3/13/03 5:33:47 PM, mjsolich@... writes:
<< Did you know there once was a fifth wiggle? Wonder what ever happened to
him. >>
Was it Tinkie Wiggle? Isn't he over with the TeleTubbies?
Holly was watching Mary Tyler Moore on a DVD we got from Netflix, the first
eight episodes. We were discussing the social realities (and cool clothes)
of 1970. She was getting (belatedly but surely) all the references in
various cartoons and other movies to the theme song and the hat tossing and
such. The in one scene the neighbor came and said something about loving
to visit Mary because she was so GAY!
Holly knows from West Side Story ("I feel pretty and witty and gay!") and
other references in books that "gay" has a rapidly changing recent history.
But it was fun for her to see it not from the 30's or the 50's, but from 1970.
I tried to tell her how different it was for there to be a TV show about a
woman who wasn't in the show for being the mother, or the wife, but was there
for being a single woman who was okay being single, who had a job, who lived
by herself without a male person.
I know she heard me and believed me, but I could feel the air of her
wondering whether it really could have been that different so recently.
Sandra
<< Did you know there once was a fifth wiggle? Wonder what ever happened to
him. >>
Was it Tinkie Wiggle? Isn't he over with the TeleTubbies?
Holly was watching Mary Tyler Moore on a DVD we got from Netflix, the first
eight episodes. We were discussing the social realities (and cool clothes)
of 1970. She was getting (belatedly but surely) all the references in
various cartoons and other movies to the theme song and the hat tossing and
such. The in one scene the neighbor came and said something about loving
to visit Mary because she was so GAY!
Holly knows from West Side Story ("I feel pretty and witty and gay!") and
other references in books that "gay" has a rapidly changing recent history.
But it was fun for her to see it not from the 30's or the 50's, but from 1970.
I tried to tell her how different it was for there to be a TV show about a
woman who wasn't in the show for being the mother, or the wife, but was there
for being a single woman who was okay being single, who had a job, who lived
by herself without a male person.
I know she heard me and believed me, but I could feel the air of her
wondering whether it really could have been that different so recently.
Sandra