sorcha_aisling

This might get really long, but I hope it will help people who are
struggling with the issue.

First, some background. When I was in college, I lived with a girl
whose mother was a clean-freak and who had a maid. Between the
mother and the maid, my roommate had never cleaned anything. I'd
been required to clean the entire house every Saturday.

My roommate was constantly nagging me about my messiness because I
was unwilling to clean more often than every Saturday (and dishes
before bed when it was my turn). I'd vacuum once a week and she'd
vacuum the other six days and yell at me about not doing my share.
I'd do the dishes before bed and she did them one at a time when each
became dirty. She thought I was a slob and I thought she was
unreasonable.

Fast forward to my marriage. I've been married about six years and I
don't know how many times I've yelled at my husband for being a
slob. I haven't tried to make the kids do chores, partly because
they're so young (and partly because they're more strong-willed than
I am). But I've tried repeatedly to get my husband to clean up after
himself.

I've felt sorry for myself, "I'm the only one who cares how our home
looks. No matter how often I complain about it, my husband doesn't
try to be neater." And on and on.

So I've been pondering what's been said about cleaning. Pondering
and pondering. And I realized I was wrong to demand that my husband
clean to my standards, and it's as unreasonable to him as my roommate
seemed to me. I've been thinking about the fact that since I'm the
only one who cares how this place looks, then it's my job to make it
look the way I want.

Last night I was loading the dishwasher and usually when I get done I
ask my husband to take out the trash. To his surprise, I put on my
shoes and grabbed the trash bag. He said, "Are you going to take out
the trash?" And when I said that I was, he hugged me. I said, "Do
you really hate doing it that much?" And he said, "Yes, I really do."

I actually enjoyed taking out the trash. It was a clear night and
the moon was bright and it was refreshing. So I came back in and
grabbed the vacuum cleaner. For the first time ever, my almost-five
year old said, "Can I do it, mommy?" So I turned it on and sat on
the couch and he very carefully cleaned the entire floor by himself.
And he was proud of himself for doing such a good job. His two-year
old brother was clapping for him.

Sorcha

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In a message dated 3/12/03 8:05:14 AM Eastern Standard Time,
sorcha-aisling@... writes:

> So I turned it on and sat on
> the couch and he very carefully cleaned the entire floor by himself.
> And he was proud of himself for doing such a good job. His two-year
> old brother was clapping for him.
>
>

We should all have a cheering section at home. LOL. Very nice story.
Pam G.


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