Carrie Farris

Hi,
I understand that FlyLady is not for everyone, but she does have some
principals that work. The thing I like about it is that you are never
behind, you just start where you are. I have three kids that don't really
"clean" yet. If they do try to clean their rooms it is never how *I* would
do it and I have found that *that* is OK. I do not obsess over their rooms
or over my house. I do my *zones* so that it never gets totally out of
control (like not being able to see yourself though the toothpaste splatters
on your bathroom mirror). The 27 fling bogie worked for me for a few months
(I had a lot of junk I did not really like)and after that I just quit doing
that part. Like FlyLady says you can delete the e-mails at will. You don't
have to do them if they do not fit into your lifestyle. There is no whining
about that, just delete and do what is right for you. It is working for me
because I really needed routines, and needed to know when it was time to
wash my dishes because for some reason I was not built with that internal
clock that let me know until it was to late...lol (until I had no clean
dishes and no place to stack anymore if I did have them)! Anyway, FlyLady
has worked for me and my family only because I have adapted her ideas into
*our* lives. I do not live to do housework, but my house (now) is
presentable if someone just happens to knock on the door, and I like that
feeling!

Carrie


>From: Rachel Ann Reply-To: [email protected] To:
>[email protected] Subject: RE: Re [Unschooling-dotcom]
>Intro Date: Wed, 05 Mar 2003 08:43:24 -0500 (Eastern Standard Time)
>
>
>I also hated fly-lady.
>
>First her stance, no bitching. Well, if you couldn't bitch about problems
>with her system that meant her system went unchallenged. Either it works or
>you didn't work, one or the other. Second, it was all up to whoever was
>reading the emails; mostly women. The system was suppose to make the family
>members help. HA! I went on this kick for awhile, cleaning so that when I
>did the living room I was washing the floors with wood soap (Wood floors)
>each week....by hand, it was so clean, and no one really helped all that
>often.
>
>Half my problem is not my stuff but others. She leaves you two choices;
>leave it or toss it, if it is the kids. Well, I'm not tossing the
>children's stuff, or dh's and my own stuff, basically if I keep it I want
>it. The boogies (27 boogie) meant I was either tossing things I may have
>wanted or I was tossing bit of paper etc. But the house is not going to
>look clean if my dh doesn't do the recycle, doesn't want me to do it (he
>has a particular way) and the recycle keeps flowing out of it's area and
>into the rest of the house. The house isn't going to stay clean if five
>minutes after I've put everything away, the kids take out their toys and
>spread them on the ground.
>
>After awhile all my attention was focused on trying to keep the house clean
>and i was becoming bitter and angry. I ended up working all the time to
>keep it clean, feeling like a dishrag, and hating the house, the family
>etc. etc. And then I would get sick, or have some other obligation that
>kept me from doing my routines; the house would just collapse and become a
>mess, and no one was pitching in. It just didn't work for us.
>
>Maybe we have too many people with too much stuff for the size of the
>house, but FlyLady just left me angry, not happy, and made me feel like a
>person who is always on a diet, where they can think of nothing but food.
>
>be well, Rachel Ann
>
>
>
>-------Original Message-------
>
>From: [email protected] Date: Wednesday, March 05, 2003
>07:43:53 To: [email protected] Subject: RE: Re
>[Unschooling-dotcom] Intro
>
>My flylady rant: I was subscribed to flylady from last May until just after
>Christmas. The house was much cleaner but I was also *so* much more
>conscious of it. I mean, all day long, reading message after message about
>clutter and how bad it is. It made me feel like all of our stuff was
>clutter. I was busy "fling boogie"ing things left and right because, you
>know, "you can't organize clutter". Rather than make me more relaxed, it
>made me more anxious. After all, if 150,000 other women now have spotless
>homes thanks to the system, why is mine uncontrollable? It made me think of
>my children's belongings as clutter. After a series of flylady messages
>about throwing away kid's stuff because they don't need that much anyway
>and etc, I pulled out a trash bag and decided to get rid of some stuff. My
>son was absolutely horrified, and I came to my senses and realized it's not
>my decision to make. And it's not helpful to constantly get emails telling
>me that the kids' stuff all over the place is a bad thing. Also, I was in a
>lot more pain when I was doing flylady. I injured my back three years ago
>and it usually doesn't hurt. But setting a timer and cleaning everything I
>can for 15 minutes straight made me want to cry. She says "you can do
>anything for 15 minutes" but honestly it was causing a lot of back pain to
>clean for 15 straight minutes. Maybe I sound lazy, admitting I can't clean
>house for 15 minutes at a time. But it's true and I'd always be lying on
>ice afterwards, or I'd get the living room picked up and then my husband
>would vacuum for me while I sat down and took aspirin. So yes, my home is
>much messier since I unsubscribed, but I'm much more at peace about it
>without her nagging me.
>
>Sorcha
>
>
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>
>
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>.
>
>
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

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[email protected]

In a message dated 3/5/03 7:44:20 AM, godlovzcf@... writes:

<< Like FlyLady says you can delete the e-mails at will. You don't
have to do them if they do not fit into your lifestyle. >>

The very idea that anyone would NOT feel empowered to delete the e-mail or
NOT know they didn't have to do the stuff is scary.

Sometimes people put their lives in the hands of professionals (doctors,
counsellors, teachers, ministers) to an extent that scares me. But to
slavishly follow the directives of an automated e-mail list, that's REALLY
scary.

Sandra

Pamela Sorooshian

Have you ever had a look at it?

There is something about reading all those emails that gets you worked
up (or at least some of us). I thought it was GREAT at first- I made
BIG huge progress - got areas all cleaned out and kept some parts of
the house clean for weeks.

But - there was also that other effect that people have mentioned. It
was exactly like being on a diet and, thus, having food on your mind
all the time. And I did start seeing everybody's stuff as "junk."

I know there is an in-between.

I know how to do housework and how to organize - I don't see it as a
matter of not knowing how to do anything.

I don't do it naturally AT ALL!!!! The dirty dishes don't call my name,
but my computer does - so does a good book or a good tv show or a
friend on the phone or the kids wanting to play a game or go somewhere
or talk to me.

I'm distractable and very very very easily sidetracked. Then I regret
it later.

--pam


On Wednesday, March 5, 2003, at 09:02 AM, SandraDodd@... wrote:

> But to
> slavishly follow the directives of an automated e-mail list, that's
> REALLY
> scary.

Carrie Farris

I agree, some people don't know how to look past what they know will not
work and just take the good and leave the rest. That goes for all
professionals out there who "tell" us what is best for us. One, we don't
know unless we try (not saying you should try everything, somethings are
just stupid to try), but if we try and it didn't work why go back and do it
again or feel like you have to? It is up to you it is your life and in this
case your e-mail and your home. It's not like FlyLady lives with you! She
can sometimes just be the gental reminder that I *might* need to do
something.
Carrie
God Loves A Cheerful FlyLady!!
>From: SandraDodd@... Reply-To: [email protected] To:
>[email protected] Subject: Re: Re
>[Unschooling-dotcom]FlyLady Date: Wed, 5 Mar 2003 12:02:51 EST
>
>
>In a message dated 3/5/03 7:44:20 AM, godlovzcf@... writes:
>
><< Like FlyLady says you can delete the e-mails at will. You don't have to
>do them if they do not fit into your lifestyle. >>
>
>The very idea that anyone would NOT feel empowered to delete the e-mail or
>NOT know they didn't have to do the stuff is scary.
>
>Sometimes people put their lives in the hands of professionals (doctors,
>counsellors, teachers, ministers) to an extent that scares me. But to
>slavishly follow the directives of an automated e-mail list, that's REALLY
>scary.
>
>Sandra

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Betsy

**I don't do it naturally AT ALL!!!! The dirty dishes don't call my
name,
but my computer does **

I can see the new kitchen from my computer, which *may* help me improve
my habits. I suppose if I can smell the kitchen from my computer that's
a powerful motivator. ::: makes a face :::

I have half of the cleanliness thing going for me. (Obviously, not the
wash-the-dishes half!) I kind of like to "tidy", but I never like to "scrub".

When I see items on the floor or misplaced objects I actually *have the
desire to put them away*. I feel like the left shoe WANTS to be with
the right shoe and the books tossed next to the couch WANT to be on the
shelf. Putting them in the right place is satisfying for me. (It may
be a neurological thing and not something one can fake.)

I'm trying, now, to convince myself that the dishes WANT to be clean.
I'm pretty sure that dirty dishes can't call to one in a persuasive way,
but I'm trying to listen for the siren call of *clean* dishes.

So far, it isn't happening, but that's my strategy.

I do have a bias in favor of adopting messy people as my friends. There
may be super-clean people who are relaxed, but it seems like a fairly
large percentage of them are too tense to be much fun.

Betsy